Etiquette Question - How do I greet someone who just had a boob job?

Deise Vu · 03-06-2015 12:33PM #1

I just heard an acquaintance is at home recovering from a boob job. What do I say / do when I meet her again? Do I politely ignore it and maintain eye contact, do I shriek: OMG! look at those grossen titzen! Do I approach with a knowing nod, palms outstretched like a goalkeeper and say: "May I?"

This is a genuine dilemma (albeit clearly a 21st Century, first world problem). I will probably meet her next weekend and all suggestions are welcome.

On a more serious note if I find out she had the job done for her boyfriend, I will drag him down a side street and gouge his eyes out with a rusty blade. Like every male I know, I can't abide silicone chests, much preferring the variety God / Allah intended. Also this girl is drop-dead gorgeous in any company, I was flabbergasted when I heard.

Finally, I have no pictures nor will I be posting any but thanks for the suggestion in advance.

The Dark Side · 03-06-2015 12:35PM

'Great Tits!' would be the usual greeting.

harry Bailey esq · 03-06-2015 12:36PM

Nice tits?

silverfeather · 03-06-2015 12:38PM

Weigh them.

mad muffin · 03-06-2015 12:38PM

Thanks for the mamories.

silverfeather · 03-06-2015 12:39PM

Don't do that, say nothing. Tell her she looks well.

The Backwards Man · 03-06-2015 12:39PM

Same way you'd approach someone who got their tonsils out or a bunion surgically removed. Don't bring it up unless they do.

03-06-2015 12:40PM

"Did you get a haircut?"

pmasterson95 · 03-06-2015 12:40PM

Money well spent may I motorboat?

Captain Chaos · 03-06-2015 12:41PM

It's not like shes not putting them out there people who know her will notice regardless. I doubt she'll be going around with her arms folded trying to hide the size of them.

Fat Christy · 03-06-2015 12:41PM

'Would you like a sausage for those baps?'

arayess · 03-06-2015 12:42PM

great rack or great tits would be an appropriate greeting.

It would be a social faux pas not to mention them

mad muffin · 03-06-2015 12:44PM

Oh! Oh! Here's another one!

Tell her. Now you can do the coke bottle challenge.

silverfeather · 03-06-2015 12:44PM

Just say you hope she is well that her doctor was happy about the surgery etc and that she is not in too much pain etc. Then just say she looks well. Then say NOTHING more about them. Just talk to her!

Remember it IS SURGERY. It is unpleasant even if elected. She is just the same person.

Samaris · 03-06-2015 12:44PM

Since you said it was a serious question, I'll give a serious answer!

Do you "officially" know that she had a boob job? As in, did she tell you she was going to? Or do you know through the grapevine? If the latter, probably not "OH GOD WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?" Also bear in mind, it's possible she had a boob reduction. "Jays, yer oranges are now watermelons" probably won't be appreciated if she had them made smaller!

Eh, just ask her how she is, maybe say you heard she was in hospital, or something along those lines. Try not to stare at her boobs. If she makes reference to the boob job, then you can take note of it. If she doesn't, don't! If you traditionally hug on meeting, don't squeeze her, because it's probably all pretty sore.

CardBordWindow · 03-06-2015 12:46PM

Ask her did she lose weight?

While she's distracted by that compliment, you can sneak a photo to post here!

Joe prim · 03-06-2015 12:48PM

A Gentleman's Booke of Ye Etiquette (1775) recommends the following; "Upon meeting with a female friend or acquaintance who has recently undergone pectoral augmentation, a true gentleman will be complimentary without appearing either unduly lustful or morbidly curious. A remark such as 'Egad, madam,your mammaries are displaying a degree of prominence and solidity, hitherto unnoticed by myself, and a tendency to upthrust which must endanger the eyes of any unfortunate who approaches too close to them.I'd warrant our Mr.Newton would assign them their own gravitational field' It would be wise at this point to move on to other topics of conversation, such as the weather or the Irish Question"

SEPT 23 1989 · 03-06-2015 12:49PM

giggity giggity goo

worded · 03-06-2015 12:51PM

They may be still sensitive and need to be numbed

Put your head between the breasts and go

Numb numb numb numb

LuckyLloyd · 03-06-2015 12:53PM

"Hi"

MarkR · 03-06-2015 12:53PM

Play it cool, but let on you are aware. You can mention how you love to go motorboating in the valleys while enjoying melons and coconuts. See if you can reference bristol or Zeppelins. Maybe shout out Vunderbar at the end if she has poor hearing or you have poor diction.

Boom_Bap · 03-06-2015 12:55PM

One of the strangest and confusing times of my life is when a relative of mine got her hooters boosted and my girlfriend at the time was having a feel of them.
Initally when I met her after she got them enhanced, I done what any self respecting man should do and sneak a look and say nothing.
After viewing my ex grope them, it was a mixture of delight, fantasy and shame all rolled together.