Etiquette Question - How do I greet someone who just had a boob job?

Deise Vu

I just heard an acquaintance is at home recovering from a boob job. What do I say / do when I meet her again? Do I politely ignore it and maintain eye contact, do I shriek: OMG! look at those grossen titzen! Do I approach with a knowing nod, palms outstretched like a goalkeeper and say: "May I?"

This is a genuine dilemma (albeit clearly a 21st Century, first world problem). I will probably meet her next weekend and all suggestions are welcome.

On a more serious note if I find out she had the job done for her boyfriend, I will drag him down a side street and gouge his eyes out with a rusty blade. Like every male I know, I can't abide silicone chests, much preferring the variety God / Allah intended. Also this girl is drop-dead gorgeous in any company, I was flabbergasted when I heard.

Finally, I have no pictures nor will I be posting any but thanks for the suggestion in advance.

The Dark Side

'Great Tits!' would be the usual greeting.

harry Bailey esq

Nice tits?

silverfeather

Weigh them.

mad muffin

Thanks for the mamories.

silverfeather

Don't do that, say nothing. Tell her she looks well.

The Backwards Man

Same way you'd approach someone who got their tonsils out or a bunion surgically removed. Don't bring it up unless they do.

"Did you get a haircut?"

pmasterson95

Money well spent may I motorboat?

Captain Chaos

It's not like shes not putting them out there people who know her will notice regardless. I doubt she'll be going around with her arms folded trying to hide the size of them.

Fat Christy

'Would you like a sausage for those baps?'

arayess

great rack or great tits would be an appropriate greeting.

It would be a social faux pas not to mention them

mad muffin

Oh! Oh! Here's another one!


Tell her. Now you can do the coke bottle challenge.

silverfeather

Just say you hope she is well that her doctor was happy about the surgery etc and that she is not in too much pain etc. Then just say she looks well. Then say NOTHING more about them. Just talk to her!

Remember it IS SURGERY. It is unpleasant even if elected. She is just the same person.

Samaris

Since you said it was a serious question, I'll give a serious answer!

Do you "officially" know that she had a boob job? As in, did she tell you she was going to? Or do you know through the grapevine? If the latter, probably not "OH GOD WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?" Also bear in mind, it's possible she had a boob reduction. "Jays, yer oranges are now watermelons" probably won't be appreciated if she had them made smaller!

Eh, just ask her how she is, maybe say you heard she was in hospital, or something along those lines. Try not to stare at her boobs. If she makes reference to the boob job, then you can take note of it. If she doesn't, don't! If you traditionally hug on meeting, don't squeeze her, because it's probably all pretty sore.

CardBordWindow

Ask her did she lose weight?

While she's distracted by that compliment, you can sneak a photo to post here!

Joe prim

A Gentleman's Booke of Ye Etiquette (1775) recommends the following; "Upon meeting with a female friend or acquaintance who has recently undergone pectoral augmentation, a true gentleman will be complimentary without appearing either unduly lustful or morbidly curious. A remark such as 'Egad, madam,your mammaries are displaying a degree of prominence and solidity, hitherto unnoticed by myself, and a tendency to upthrust which must endanger the eyes of any unfortunate who approaches too close to them.I'd warrant our Mr.Newton would assign them their own gravitational field' It would be wise at this point to move on to other topics of conversation, such as the weather or the Irish Question"

SEPT 23 1989

giggity giggity goo

worded

They may be still sensitive and need to be numbed

Put your head between the breasts and go

Numb numb numb numb

LuckyLloyd

"Hi"

MarkR

Play it cool, but let on you are aware. You can mention how you love to go motorboating in the valleys while enjoying melons and coconuts. See if you can reference bristol or Zeppelins. Maybe shout out Vunderbar at the end if she has poor hearing or you have poor diction.

Boom_Bap

One of the strangest and confusing times of my life is when a relative of mine got her hooters boosted and my girlfriend at the time was having a feel of them.
Initally when I met her after she got them enhanced, I done what any self respecting man should do and sneak a look and say nothing.
After viewing my ex grope them, it was a mixture of delight, fantasy and shame all rolled together.

Tabnabs

Offer to help change her name to "Chesty La Rue", along with the alternative names "Busty St. Claire" and "Hootie McBoob."

LordSutch

Oh err missus "Great tits" . . .

Akrasia

Compliment her on her new glasses, and ask her if she misses her old glasses

PARlance

Stick two balloons up your shirt and let her worry about what to say.

walkingshadow

You greet her by immediately burying your face into her chest.

Ruu

Nice to see you back, we missed you!

Buzz Meeks

Adopt a defensive posture with hands raised and be on the ready to duck any buttons that missile in your direction. (unless she bought new clothes)

FatherLen

with both hands

Slutmonkey57b

Start humming the chorus to Self Esteem by offspring.

anncoates

Something along the lines of flubblewubbleflubbleflubblewubble will suffice.

0byme75341jo28

"What an arbitrary question.

I don't think it's size that's a factor for a lot of people, rather sentience."

Magico Gonzalez

A casual "check you out, t1ts magee!"

Should suffice.

sbsquarepants

Anyone who has paid good money for bigger tits would surely be offended where you not to stare and drool. They would feel as though they'd wasted their money After a suitable settling in time you are expected to request a feel, perhaps even a taste if you know them well enough.:D

folamh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DARSIF3QXtA

Tony Beetroot

Tell her she is looking well and give her a slap in the arse as she is leaving.

Gatling

Grin like a Cheshire Cat

Knex*

"Oh, I thought you were fixing your nose"

Deise Vu

Samaris wrote: »

Since you said it was a serious question, I'll give a serious answer!

Do you "officially" know that she had a boob job? As in, did she tell you she was going to? Or do you know through the grapevine? If the latter, probably not "OH GOD WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?" Also bear in mind, it's possible she had a boob reduction. "Jays, yer oranges are now watermelons" probably won't be appreciated if she had them made smaller!

Eh, just ask her how she is, maybe say you heard she was in hospital, or something along those lines. Try not to stare at her boobs. If she makes reference to the boob job, then you can take note of it. If she doesn't, don't! If you traditionally hug on meeting, don't squeeze her, because it's probably all pretty sore.

To quote Shakespeare "there lies the rub". I was given the titty tittle tattle by a colleague of hers so I have to feign surprise and behave in an appropriate manner without getting myself arrested. Judging by most of the responses so far I think I should just hand myself into the Gendarmerie now.

Edit: I see I put the wrong tense in the thread question. It should be 'do' not 'did'. Anyone know how I can edit that?

NachoBusiness

Ask her if you can have her old bras.

valoren

Just say "How are you feeling?". The response will tell you if they're happy with them.

Call Me Jimmy

In your best Louis Theroux voice: "How do you boob"

MajorMax

Motorboat

pmasterson95

Deise Vu wrote: »

To quote Shakespeare "there lies the rub". I was given the titty tittle tattle by a colleague of hers so I have to feign surprise and behave in an appropriate manner without getting myself arrested. Judging by most of the responses so far I think I should just hand myself into the Gendarmerie now.

Edit: I see I put the wrong tense in the thread question. It should be 'do' not 'did'. Anyone know how I can edit that?

Conor Bourke

Simply say "oh yeah! Shake it, madam. Capital knockers "

FunLover18

Hug it out

ElvisChrist6

Deise Vu wrote: »

I just heard an acquaintance is at home recovering from a boob job. What do I say / do when I meet her again? Do I politely ignore it and maintain eye contact, do I shriek: OMG! look at those grossen titzen! Do I approach with a knowing nod, palms outstretched like a goalkeeper and say: "May I?"

This is a genuine dilemma (albeit clearly a 21st Century, first world problem). I will probably meet her next weekend and all suggestions are welcome.

On a more serious note if I find out she had the job done for her boyfriend, I will drag him down a side street and gouge his eyes out with a rusty blade. Like every male I know, I can't abide silicone chests, much preferring the variety God / Allah intended. Also this girl is drop-dead gorgeous in any company, I was flabbergasted when I heard.

Finally, I have no pictures nor will I be posting any but thanks for the suggestion in advance.

I was about to thank the post for the bit in bold as it genuinely made me laugh, but the bit in italics stopped me. Let them be, it's likely she wanted them herself. She's (hopefully) an adult woman. And even if they are for her boyfriend, then it obviously doesn't matter what you prefer. He's the only one honking her now (probably) so both of their preferences are more important than anyones! The first paragraph is still gas though! :pac:

My only problem with breast implants in this country is how American it is. Always wondered how they would feel though - fake ones.

Sinister Kid

You're thinking far too much about this! Chances are you wouldn't even notice if you didn't know to look... Most women that get them done only go up a size or two so they still look natural. Now if she has gone for gigantic beach balls motorboating is the obvious choice.

Big C

say u were thinkin of the same job and ask for a look or a feel, don't mind if she thinks it would be an unusual job for a 75 yr old man. just tell her u are a free spirit ??????????????????

Armchair Andy

Why wouldn't you ask how's she feeling? Say you hope shes happy with them and that it was worth the effort.

If she wants to talk about it she will, if not no harm done. Be nice about it thats all.