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Davina McCall sparks controversy over happy marriage advice

13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Oh, and another thing, what's the story in a gay partnership.

    Who has to be the high maintenance chick, to keep the other half from straying.

    Obvious question after the vote.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    What do men do to keep their gals interested.

    He's a great father who's fully involved. He's generous. He cooks when I'm too tired to (even though he's not great at it). He makes me laugh every day.

    Oh wait...

    He manscapes. Is that more important?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    I wouldn't decry Davina's comments much.
    But then I am polyamorous......


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    This thread is about women, and how they need to do more to please the men in their lives; it's not about men.

    Feel free to contribute any suggestions that you think might help. I can offer a few to get you started.

    For example - personal grooming. Too many women are unhygienic - they don't shower often enough and leave their 'lady gardens' in a terrible state of repair. Waxing or shaving regularly is a great way to keep things in shipshape and Bristol fashion.

    What do you think?

    I take it you do a back sack and crack wax yourself :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭Carlos Orange


    He's a great father who's fully involved. He's generous. He cooks when I'm too tired to (even though he's not great at it). He makes me laugh every day.

    I know it is going to blow your mind but some men can cook well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    psinno wrote: »
    I know it is going to blow your mind but some men can cook well.

    What a revelation! I never knew that.

    Mind blown :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 640 ✭✭✭Tony Beetroot


    Mysoginy is alive and well I see.

    Is that Davina's aunt?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    He's a great father who's fully involved. He's generous. He cooks when I'm too tired to (even though he's not great at it). He makes me laugh every day.

    Oh wait...

    He manscapes. Is that more important?

    Glad you are one of the lucky ones.

    What's manscaping. I probably should know, and it's probably obvious, but....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Glad you are one of the lucky ones.

    What's manscaping. I probably should know, and it's probably obvious, but....

    Shaving/waxing their wobbly bits.

    He doesn't actually manscape - it's not something I'm especially atttracted to and he tried it once and thought he looked ridiculous :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    psinno wrote: »
    I know it is going to blow your mind but some men can cook well.
    What did she say to indicate it would blow her mind? :confused:
    I'm sure she is as familiar with well known male chefs as anyone is.

    Got any comments to berate the person who went on about how women (not some, just "women") should make a damn effort as if none of them do, and "keep themselves clean"?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    i cannot stand the woman but she has a point,
    As a woman heads into her forties her power in a relationship weakens , the man becoming the dominant partner.
    Women have to try harder as they get older, its nature.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭Carlos Orange


    What did she say to indicate it would blow her mind? :confused:
    I'm sure she is as familiar with well known male chefs as anyone is.

    Got any comments to berate the person who went on about how women (not some, just "women") should make a damn effort as if none of them do, and "keep themselves clean"?

    Putting stuff in quotes is kinda unhelpful unless someone actually said those words. #102 said too many. That is pretty vague and could mean anything from 1 to all.

    I took the comment to be a generic put down of men. If it was a specific put down of one person in particular then I would take if differently but I'm not sure of the necessity to put down ones partner.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    What do men do to keep their gals interested.

    Much the same things women do to keep their men interested, I'd imagine. Take care of their appearance, make sure they're satisfied in the bedroom, be nice and caring and considerate and fun. Continue to make an effort basically. Don't take them or the relationship for granted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    psinno wrote: »
    Putting stuff in quotes is kinda unhelpful unless someone actually said those words. #102 said too many. That is pretty vague and could mean anything from 1 to all.
    See their first comment to this thread. If a woman posted something like that about men she'd be slated (and rightly so).
    I took the comment to be a generic put down of men. If it was a specific put down of one person in particular then I would take if differently but I'm not sure of the necessity to put down ones partner.
    A generic putdown of men? She said he (not men) isn't great at cooking, but also a number of really positive things about him - yet you decided to just highlight the cooking thing?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    i cannot stand the woman but she has a point,
    As a woman heads into her forties her power in a relationship weakens , the man becoming the dominant partner.
    Women have to try harder as they get older, its nature.

    Women don't need Viagra.

    Men's ability to have an erection disappears as they get older.

    Then the women go elsewhere for IT. lol.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    psinno wrote: »

    I took the comment to be a generic put down of men. If it was a specific put down of one person in particular then I would take if differently but I'm not sure of the necessity to put down ones partner.

    You seem to take offence easily. In no way was I putting men down, I simply said one of the nice things my partner does for me is cook, even if he's not especially good at it. I was showing an appreciation of him, not questioning the culinary skills of all men. Jeez!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    Women don't need Viagra.

    Men's ability to have an erection disappears as they get older.

    Then the women go elsewhere for IT. lol.

    A man can father a child at any age, women fear this.
    Its nature at is its rawest.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    A man can father a child at any age, women fear this.
    Its nature at is its rawest.

    Yes, if there's one thing I'll miss when I'm 60, it's the fact I won't have periods any more, be able to spend nine months carrying a child, going through labour and changing nappies.

    Damn you nature!! :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭Carlos Orange


    You seem to take offence easily. In no way was I putting men down, I simply said one of the nice things my partner does for me is cook, even if he's not especially good at it. I was showing an appreciation of him, not questioning the culinary skills of all men. Jeez!

    So why did you feel the need to throw in a backhanded compliment instead of not?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,713 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    psinno wrote: »
    So why did you feel the need to throw in a backhanded compliment instead of not?

    Better question would by why you feel the need to misrepresent it and make such a deal of it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    A man can father a child at any age, women fear this.
    Its nature at is its rawest.

    Yeah and? I don't get what point you're trying to make here? A guy can let himself go but his wife needs to keep in shape because he can father kids with some young wan?

    Riiiiiiiight.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    psinno wrote: »
    So why did you feel the need to throw in a backhanded compliment instead of not?

    What are you like at all? Must be exhausting being this egregiously offended on other people's behalf.

    I'll apologise for giving him a backhanded compliment amongst all the fronthanded ones as soon as he gets home. Ok?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    Yeah and? I don't get what point you're trying to make here? A guy can let himself go but his wife needs to keep in shape because he can father kids with some young wan?

    Riiiiiiiight.

    Exactly, a woman as she gets older has to really up her game, both sexually and physically. Those that do remain happily married.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    Exactly, a woman as she gets older has to really up her game, both sexually and physically. Those that do remain happily married.

    In fairness, it's not a one way street. I think both sexes need to put in effort not just the woman. I'm of child bearing age, don't think I'll ever have any children. I really can't wrap my head around the point you're trying to make.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    This thread can only deteriorate.

    Ladies, better off on your own with some "toys" than having to deal with the big co"ks on here who couldn't lay an egg not to mind anything else.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭Carlos Orange


    osarusan wrote: »
    Better question would by why you feel the need to misrepresent it and make such a deal of it?

    I didn't. I interpreted it in one of two possible ways. The way it was actually meant is the less charitable interpretation I think tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    In fairness, it's not a one way street. I think both sexes need to put in effort not just the woman. I'm of child bearing age, don't think I'll ever have any children. I really can't wrap my head around the point you're trying to make.

    Why would you not want children, whose going to mind you as you get older?
    My point is self explanatory.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    Why would you not want children, whose going to mind you as you get older?
    My point is self explanatory.

    No, I don't want children. I'll save up me monies for some cool nursing home or die before I get too weak to take care of myself.

    How is it self explanatory? Please explain because I don't get it, at all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,221 ✭✭✭Greentopia


    i cannot stand the woman but she has a point,
    As a woman heads into her forties her power in a relationship weakens , the man becoming the dominant partner.
    Women have to try harder as they get older, its nature.

    That would be me. Why would the man become the dominant partner because a woman is getting older and why would my power weaken if I'm in a healthy relationship where a man loves and respects me for who I am?

    I don't "try harder", I put the same effort into looking good now as I did when I was in my twenties. Which is to say a reasonable amount, I'm not obsessed about how I look but I'm not a slob either. Good genes that mean I look younger than I am help too though. :)

    You seem to be suggesting men don't have to "try harder", only women. Is that correct?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Mens abilities to have an erection does not dissappear as they get older, not for most men anyway.

    I somehow don't think you lol'd as cheating isn't exactly hilarious.

    I don't think I said cheating was hilarious. It is a fact.

    That can be because women think their men are gross and are ignoring them/ are fat frogs/ lazy/ abusive whatever.

    The men just want sex.

    And Viagra is one of the top selling drugs now. Why is that? Women don't need it to perform.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    psinno wrote: »
    I didn't. I interpreted it in one of two possible ways. The way it was actually meant is the less charitable interpretation I think tbh.

    Dear God!

    Why don't you get offended at some of the digs thrown at women on this thread instead of getting so butthurt over some 'backhanded' compliment I gave my lovely partner who refers to himself as the boiled egg burner.

    Lighten up dude!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,130 ✭✭✭Roquentin


    Women don't need Viagra.

    Men's ability to have an erection disappears as they get older.

    Then the women go elsewhere for IT. lol.

    so basically they both go elsewhere for it as they get senile


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    Greentopia wrote: »
    That would be me. Why would the man become the dominant partner because a woman is getting older and why would my power weaken if I'm in a healthy relationship where a man loves and respects me for who I am?

    I don't "try harder", I put the same effort into looking good now as I did when I was in my twenties. Which is to say a reasonable amount, I'm not obsessed about how I look but I'm not a slob either. Good genes that mean I look younger than I am help too though. :)

    You seem to be suggesting men don't have to "try harder", only women. Is that correct?

    I agree with you, women must try a lot harder than men as they grow older.
    It is because women become fearful of their man leaving them for a younger more virile woman.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭Carlos Orange


    Why don't you get offended at some of the digs thrown at women on this thread instead of getting so butthurt over some 'backhanded' compliment I gave my lovely partner who refers to himself as the boiled egg burner.

    I'd leave that to the professionals.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    psinno wrote: »
    I'd leave that to the professionals.

    The cooking? If only I could afford to I would....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    I agree with you, women must try a lot harder than men as they grow older.
    It is because women become fearful of their man leaving them for a younger more virile woman.

    All women, is it? Fcuk! No one told me. I better hook up with the 80 year old down the street. His wife is looking a bit rough and if I get with him now, he'll be 6 feet under by the time I'm old.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    All women, is it? Fcuk! No one told me. I better hook up with the 80 year old down the street. His wife is looking a bit rough and if I get with him now, he'll be 6 feet under by the time I'm old.

    :D

    Don't leave it too long....if your eggs dry up no amount of age gap will make up for it. You'll be useless to him. No spawn no horn!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,221 ✭✭✭Greentopia


    Why would you not want children, whose going to mind you as you get older?
    My point is self explanatory.

    Oh woe is me with no kids heading into middle age! whatever shall I do?? :roll eyes:


    You do realise that for a start having kids is no guarantee they'll want to look after you as you get older, don't you?

    And I'll look after myself if I don't have a partner to grow old with and if I reach the point where I can't do that then I'll do what my Mum did and have home help in to do things I'm unable to do. And I fully plan baring chronic or life threatening illness to be running marathons and doing yoga as I do now into my 70's and 80's. Health and fitness are extremely important to me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,037 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    This thread is being trolled by fifteen year old pimply no mark boys.

    Away with ye all.

    Women are goddesses, and you cannot get enough of them.

    I see now why men are so insecure, and project all their insecurities on the women of the world. Women have powers of seduction, and only some men are lucky enough to attain union with them.

    The rest of the men live in their man caves with their gadgets dreaming about them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    Greentopia wrote: »
    Oh woe is me with no kids heading into middle age! whatever shall I do?? :roll eyes:


    You do realise that for a start having kids is no guarantee they'll want to look after you as you get older, don't you?

    And I'll look after myself if I don't have a partner to grow old with and if I reach the point where I can't do that then I'll do what my Mum did and have home help in to do things I'm unable to do. And I fully plan baring chronic or life threatening illness to be running marathons and doing yoga as I do now into my 70's and 80's. Health and fitness are extremely important to me.

    Lighten up, this is a thread for having the craic and talking sh1t.
    I did not realise a thread about Davina McCall and marriage advice was where one came to talk sense.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,894 ✭✭✭UCDVet


    I don't see why this would cause controversy at all. It's excellent advice.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    This thread is being trolled by fifteen year old pimply no mark boys.

    Away with ye all.

    Women are goddesses, and you cannot get enough of them.

    I see now why men are so insecure, and project all their insecurities on the women of the world. Women have powers of seduction, and only some men are lucky enough to attain union with them.

    The rest of the men live in their man caves with their gadgets dreaming about them.

    Very funny post, all true.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,221 ✭✭✭Greentopia


    I agree with you, women must try a lot harder than men as they grow older.
    It is because women become fearful of their man leaving them for a younger more virile woman.

    Agree with what? I never said or suggested women must try a lot harder than men as they grow older.
    I asked you: "You seem to be suggesting men don't have to "try harder", only women. Is that correct?

    Well, it is?

    Women become fearful... where are you getting that idea from? how old are you may I ask?

    I've never heard any of my peers express concern their partner may leave them for a younger model. Maybe because their partners love them for who they are-confident, funny, kind, beautiful, strong women and (some) mothers who have shared the ups and downs of life and years of shared experiences with them; and don't view their partners in such superficial terms as something to be upgraded to a 'better model' as soon as a few wrinkles and grey hairs show.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,221 ✭✭✭Greentopia


    Lighten up, this is a thread for having the craic and talking sh1t.
    I did not realise a thread about Davina McCall and marriage advice was where one came to talk sense.


    Ok, in other words you have no valid response to the points I made. And as you can see the thread has clearly moved on from what she said.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    Greentopia wrote: »
    Agree with what? I never said or suggested women must try a lot harder than men as they grow older.
    I asked you: "You seem to be suggesting men don't have to "try harder", only women. Is that correct?

    Well, it is?

    Women become fearful... where are you getting that idea from? how old are you may I ask?

    I've never heard any of my peers express concern their partner may leave them for a younger model. Maybe because their partners love them for who they are-confident, funny, kind, beautiful, strong women and (some) mothers who have shared the ups and downs of life and years of shared experiences with them; and don't view their partners in such superficial terms as something to be upgraded to a 'better model' as soon as a few wrinkles and grey hairs show.

    Exactly, you and your peers know the score and are playing the game. If you cant keep him, keep his money.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    osarusan wrote: »
    Better question would by why you feel the need to misrepresent it and make such a deal of it?
    Quite *literally* to look for offence/misandry where none was intended.

    I mean, what else could "I took the comment to be a generic put down of men. If it was a specific put down of one person in particular then I would take if differently but I'm not sure of the necessity to put down ones partner" (the post even contradicts itself) be, when it was clearly about one man rather than men, and was included with comments praising him?

    Meanwhile the comments blatantly putting down women in general get ignored or downplayed by that poster.
    psinno wrote: »
    I didn't. I interpreted it in one of two possible ways. The way it was actually meant is the less charitable interpretation I think tbh.
    You think... even though you have literally no reason to think it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    UCDVet wrote: »
    I don't see why this would cause controversy at all. It's excellent advice.
    I think you know it isn't really excellent and it's flawed. I'm also amazed at the amount of men here wholeheartedly agreeing with her that men easily stray. In another context that would be deemed misandrist, unfair generalising.

    To be fair, there's more than a grain of truth to what she says for sure - as in, let yourself go in relation to your physical appearance, and your partner may lose their attraction to you (gender irrelevant).
    I don't think she's entirely right though - sex when you don't feel like it is a difficult situation (again, gender irrelevant) and I don't think anyone's partner who gives a sh-t about them would want their partner feeling "obliged" to have sex with them.
    Of course a couple's sex life suffering is a problem (when one partner really misses it - if neither misses it, I guess it's ok) but someone feeling nearly blackmailed into doing the deed is not the way to address it.
    I think men deserve more credit too - I'm not sure men are as prone to affairs as she makes them out to be.

    Also, while it's only right to look after yourself physically - for yourself and your partner - feeling pressured into aiming for perfection isn't a healthy situation.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 519 ✭✭✭tipparetops


    I think you know it isn't really excellent and it's flawed. I'm also amazed at the amount of men here wholeheartedly agreeing with her that men easily stray. In another context that would be deemed misandrist, unfair generalising.

    To be fair, there's more than a grain of truth to what she says for sure - as in, let yourself go in relation to your physical appearance, and your partner may lose their attraction to you (gender irrelevant).
    I don't think she's entirely right though - sex when you don't feel like it is a difficult situation (again, gender irrelevant) and I don't think anyone's partner who gives a sh-t about them would want their partner feeling "obliged" to have sex with them.
    Of course a couple's sex life suffering is a problem (when one partner really misses it - if neither misses it, I guess it's ok) but someone feeling nearly blackmailed into doing the deed is not the way to address it.
    I think men deserve more credit too - I'm not sure men are as prone to affairs as she makes them out to be.

    Also, while it's only right to look after yourself physically - for yourself and your partner - feeling pressured into aiming for perfection isn't a healthy situation.

    sometimes women are not in the mood,
    men are always in the mood.
    Any man denied bonking will stray.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,221 ✭✭✭Greentopia


    Exactly, you and your peers know the score and are playing the game. If you cant keep him, keep his money.

    Playing the game? WHAT GAME?? what on earth are you talking about?

    Unless you can tell me you're at least a man in his thirties or forties with life experience and wisdom under your belt and the experience of having had some long term relationships or you're married, and not a pimply teenager living with Mum and Dad, I don't think we have anything further to discuss as I'm clearly wasting my time.

    Where you've gotten so many sexist, cynical and wrongheaded views on women I have no idea... maybe you just have a lot more growing up to do. I hope so for your sake.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    I think you know it isn't really excellent and it's flawed. I'm also amazed at the amount of men here wholeheartedly agreeing with her that men easily stray. In another context that would be deemed misandrist, unfair generalising.

    To be fair, there's more than a grain of truth to what she says for sure - as in, let yourself go in relation to your physical appearance, and your partner may lose their attraction to you (gender irrelevant).
    I don't think she's entirely right though - sex when you don't feel like it is a difficult situation (again, gender irrelevant) and I don't think anyone's partner who gives a sh-t about them would want their partner feeling "obliged" to have sex with them.
    Of course a couple's sex life suffering is a problem (when one partner really misses it - if neither misses it, I guess it's ok) but someone feeling nearly blackmailed into doing the deed is not the way to address it.
    I think men deserve more credit too - I'm not sure men are as prone to affairs as she makes them out to be.

    Also, while it's only right to look after yourself physically - for yourself and your partner - feeling pressured into aiming for perfection isn't a healthy situation.

    Exactly. As I said in the opening post, it doesn't paint her husband, or men in general, in a great light. You should have sex, even when you don't feel like it, or else men will be fickle enough to cheat on you. In other words, that old stereotype that men are shallow and only think with their dicks.

    It's insulting the intelligence of both men and women imo.


This discussion has been closed.
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