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Ever being cheated on or done the cheating?

24567

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    Cueva wrote: »
    I think when you become confident in yourself and emotionally mature you can be happy to let your partner enjoy sex with other people, denying people their natural sexual urges is cruel in my opinion.

    I think Humans, in the whole, are conditioned to be monogamous.
    So called 'open' relationships always are doomed to failure with damage on both sides.
    Deciding that someone is 'for life' and sticking with that, enjoying that, is maturity IMO.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,838 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    Interesting TED talk the other day. The speaker was saying that affairs are not so much about sex, but the intrigue, risk, intimacy, communication ...

    Its about 20 mins long.
    I'll never last that long!:P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    If you cheat and tell people about it you're doing it wrong.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 958 ✭✭✭MathDebater


    I've never cheated but I've been cheated on. When I found out she told me that I could spend a night elsewhere with a girl.

    I think we're done here, S.


  • Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I've been cheated on. Would never do it to anyone, knowing what it feels like.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 159 ✭✭Laoislion8383


    I've never cheated but I've been cheated on. When I found out she told me that I could spend a night elsewhere with a girl.

    I think we're done here, S.

    Am I wrong in seeing an opportunity for a threesome here and then do your legger, yes I think I am :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 958 ✭✭✭MathDebater


    Am I wrong in seeing an opportunity for a threesome here and then do your legger, yes I think I am :)

    Go for it.

    if you're into that sort of thing whatever rocks your boat.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    Whisky Mac wrote: »
    Twaddle. Humans, in the whole, are designed to be monogamous.

    Funny, you call something twaddle, and then immediately follow it up with a retarded comment.

    Kudos, sir. Kudos.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 958 ✭✭✭MathDebater


    I know this girl that cheats regularly. She likes being dominated. Girl, you shouldn't treat x like this. "He knows". I guess it take all sorts.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,434 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Jon Stark wrote: »
    Never cheated but have been cheated on. There's nothing worse than that feeling when you know something happened, but instead of being truthful, the person becomes cold and distant. Almost as if they want you to be the one that "ended" it to avoid their own guilt.

    Cowardly sh1t.

    Is that what your auld fella was like when he returned from King's Landing? I always wondered how he managed to patch things up with Catelyn. Ah, you were probably too young to see what was happening...


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    Saipanne wrote: »
    Funny, you call something twaddle, and then immediately follow it up with a retarded comment.

    Kudos, sir. Kudos.

    What is retarded about people being in couples and not cheating?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    Whisky Mac wrote: »
    What is retarded about people being in couples and not cheating?

    Eh, way to move the goalposts.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,434 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Whisky Mac wrote: »
    What is retarded about people being in couples and not cheating?

    We're not designed to be monogamous. We're not 'designed' at all. ;)

    Oh, and the monogamy is social conditioning.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    endacl wrote: »
    We're not designed to be monogamous. We're not 'designed' at all. ;)

    Oh, and the monogamy is social conditioning.

    Exactly.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    Jon Stark wrote: »
    There's nothing worse than that feeling when you know something happened, but instead of being truthful, the person becomes cold and distant. Almost as if they want you to be the one that "ended" it to avoid their own guilt.

    Cowardly sh1t.
    Oh my god, this.
    It's worse than the cheating IMO. I have a bit of a "liberal" attitude I guess to cheating. I do not advocate it of course - obviously the ideal would be no cheating, and obviously it's devastating for people, could make it hard for them to trust again, and it's wrong to do it. I have never cheated either.

    But my outlook on cheating is that sh-t can sometimes happen - people can do it out of sheer loss of self control or due to their relationship being in a bad place, even when they try to work on it, etc, and the intention isn't to hurt. Just breaking up with them is the ideal but not always so straightforward, especially if they're married and/or have children.
    It's not an excuse but I simply mean a person who cheats isn't always a horrible person. I also don't get the thing of putting all the blame on the person who is in the relationship and not on the person they cheated with if they're single because the single person wasn't cheating on any one. The latter still got involved with a person who is in a relationship and the cheating with them wouldn't have happened if it weren't for them!

    But if a person does cheat, just admit it and take responsibility instead of twisted psychological torment and "gas-lighting" like that described in the above post.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭222233


    Would never cheat having been cheated on. once a cheater always a cheater


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    222233 wrote: »
    once a cheater always a cheater
    I don't know if it's necessarily the case that a person who cheats will definitely cheat again. I can totally understand a lack of trust of them for sure, but I also think it's possible for them to learn their lesson and make damn sure it never happens again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭222233


    I don't know if it's necessarily the case that a person who cheats will definitely cheat again. I can totally understand a lack of trust of them for sure, but I also think it's possible for them to learn their lesson and make damn sure it never happens again.

    Could also say once they get a taste of that thrill can't help themselves but do it again.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    Saipanne wrote: »
    Exactly.

    True, Bad choice of words from me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 958 ✭✭✭MathDebater


    I don't know if it's necessarily the case that a person who cheats will definitely cheat again. I can totally understand a lack of trust of them for sure, but I also think it's possible for them to learn their lesson and make damn sure it never happens again.

    Huge red flag though. I wouldn't date someone that previously cheated. I just couldn't trust them. Nothing worse than being in love with someone you expect to hurt you. Imho.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19 NotMyUsualName


    I cheated over a period of about 3 years - met up with the other person every month/6 weeks. We're both married but we met up by chance online and it developed from there. We both had alternative needs that would never have been fulfilled in our own marriages. It was great while it lasted, it just ran it's course and we've lost contact. Truthfully I wish we were still in touch and have no regrets yet I've no desire to cheat with anyone else


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭222233


    I cheated over a period of about 3 years - met up with the other person every month/6 weeks. We're both married but we met up by chance online and it developed from there. We both had alternative needs that would never have been fulfilled in our own marriages. It was great while it lasted, it just ran it's course and we've lost contact. Truthfully I wish we were still in touch and have no regrets yet I've no desire to cheat with anyone else

    I have always wondered if people consider online romances cheating, phone sex etc? I know yours is actually cheating but having said that


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19 NotMyUsualName


    222233 wrote: »
    I have always wondered if people consider online romances cheating, phone sex etc? I know yours is actually cheating but having said that

    I do - the early stages of my cheating relationship consisted of a lot of phone and online sex and I did consider we were both cheating


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,792 ✭✭✭raze_them_all_


    222233 wrote: »
    Would never cheat having been cheated on. once a cheater always a cheater

    this is ****e. And this attitude contributes to cheating. The amount of ex's that accused me of cheating when i wasn't is amusing so I went and cheated anyway, if you're going to get penalized for a foul you might aswell go commit the foul


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭222233


    this is ****e. And this attitude contributes to cheating. The amount of ex's that accused me of cheating when i wasn't is amusing so I went and cheated anyway, if you're going to get penalized for a foul you might aswell go commit the foul

    just my experience sorry if you find that offensive, but being accused of cheating doesn't really make it right to go out and cheat. thats your own morals not a standard right


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    I cheated over a period of about 3 years - met up with the other person every month/6 weeks. We're both married but we met up by chance online and it developed from there. We both had alternative needs that would never have been fulfilled in our own marriages. It was great while it lasted, it just ran it's course and we've lost contact. Truthfully I wish we were still in touch and have no regrets yet I've no desire to cheat with anyone else
    Why did ye marry so? Surely this was obvious beforehand :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭arayess


    cheated quite a bit and have been cheated on too.

    I was just greedy in the past. there was no other reason.
    Havent had a relationship in years though so it's not an issue anymore.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19 NotMyUsualName


    Colser wrote: »
    Why did ye marry so? Surely this was obvious beforehand :confused:

    We were both married for many years before we cheated. Met each other in an online chatroom, got talking, things developed from there. I think neither of us expected it to develop to a point where we cheated and it took a long time before we agreed to meet


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    We were both married for many years before we cheated. Met each other in an online chatroom, got talking, things developed from there. I think neither of us expected it to develop to a point where we cheated and it took a long time before we agreed to meet
    Ever feel guilty about it(not judging just asking)?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,087 ✭✭✭✭wp_rathead


    Been cheated on, Tis ****e
    You just feel like such an idiot for trusting someone for while afterwards
    Over it now though thankfully and in a great relationship :)


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