Death: why is it feared?

weldoninhio · 21-03-2015 12:18PM

I've no fear of dying. Whatsoever. If I go today I go today. In fact, if there was a button I could press and die of natural causes, I'd have no problem pressing it.

I'm not religious, have no idea what happens when you die, but it's not something I'm worried about. The only thing I'd be worried about is being in pain before I die.

wretcheddomain · 21-03-2015 12:21PM

There's a difference between a fear of death and a fear of dying.

One may not have a fear of death, but could easily have a fear of dying in some unsympathetic, sordid way.

bb1234567 · 21-03-2015 12:22PM

I just hate how so much work and effort is put into every human. Like think of all the resources we consume only to die later on and become nothing, what was the point of using such vast amounts of resources on me if I come of no use. All the electricity used for my TV and stereo, all the fuel I used for travelling, all the energy used to heat my home, all the animals that died to feed me, all the clothes Ive worn throughout my life, all the tress cut to make the books Ive read, the thousands and thousands of hours Ive spent in education to get a job, all the relationships and friendships Ive built throughout my life.. It just astounds me the amount of resources the average westerner consumes in their lifetime. And what does it come to. Nothing.

Zippie84 · 21-03-2015 12:23PM

wretcheddomain wrote: »

There's a difference between a fear of death and a fear of dying.

One may not have a fear of death, but could easily have a fear of dying in some unsympathetic, sordid way.

yep, and I did notice that people did interpret the question in different ways. Of course I would fear dying in some terrible way,, but absolutely no fear of death itself.

RobertKK · 21-03-2015 12:30PM

I'm not afraid of death, I just want to live long enough as I do say 'one will be dead long enough'.

But we all hope for a nice death, not be like some unfortunate appearing in a video and having their head chopped off, being lined up in North Korea and being shot before you are fed to dogs-an escapee from a concentration in NK said this happened.

A natural death and enough painkillers if there is pain...

No point fearing it, better off getting on with your life and try to make the best of it for yourself and for others.

Vernonymous · 21-03-2015 12:31PM

I fear my girlfriend would be sad without me

phater phagan · 21-03-2015 12:38PM

I do not fear death, like many posters here have said. I think people view death differently at different ages in their lives. Young people generally don't think about it very much and older ones are more aware of its impending arrival. It's a question that is imponderable because no one has returned from death to explain it. Although I do not fear it - neither do I embrace it.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

RobertKK · 21-03-2015 12:40PM

bb1234567 wrote: »

I just hate how so much work and effort is put into every human. Like think of all the resources we consume only to die later on and become nothing, what was the point of using such vast amounts of resources on me if I come of no use. All the electricity used for my TV and stereo, all the fuel I used for travelling, all the energy used to heat my home, all the animals that died to feed me, all the clothes Ive worn throughout my life, all the tress cut to make the books Ive read, the thousands and thousands of hours Ive spent in education to get a job, all the relationships and friendships Ive built throughout my life.. It just astounds me the amount of resources the average westerner consumes in their lifetime. And what does it come to. Nothing.

That is a very individualistic look at it. We do not live in isolation, we can make the lives of others better or worse.
If you make life better for others, give love to those who show love and receive love from those who love you. That lives on.

Lets say you work in healthcare and you keep someone alive, you help discover some medical breakthrough, some new technology, you educate, produce food, you help people communicate via technology or whatever.
You would have contributed to the lives of others and what you did will have effects whether seen or unseen after you are gone.

Lives have effects whether positive or negative, even when one is gone.
Most of us want to leave those behind with positive memories and have made a difference by our existence whether that difference is easily seen or maybe unseen.

Mr_Muffin · 21-03-2015 12:41PM

Survival instinct that is built into us.

We all try to stay alive as long as we can for the sake of our species. That is another reason why suicide is such a tragedy - the suffering a person must be going through to override this instinct must be immense.

newmug · 21-03-2015 12:48PM

bb1234567 wrote: »

I just hate how so much work and effort is put into every human. Like think of all the resources we consume only to die later on and become nothing, what was the point of using such vast amounts of resources on me if I come of no use. All the electricity used for my TV and stereo, all the fuel I used for travelling, all the energy used to heat my home, all the animals that died to feed me, all the clothes Ive worn throughout my life, all the tress cut to make the books Ive read, the thousands and thousands of hours Ive spent in education to get a job, all the relationships and friendships Ive built throughout my life.. It just astounds me the amount of resources the average westerner consumes in their lifetime. And what does it come to. Nothing.

Bloody hell! I see what you're saying, but do you not think its good value? Do you not think that your life, YOU, are worth all those things? Those materialistic, replaceable, ultimately valueless things? That attitude + no fear of death = possible suicide territory!

I think that you're worth it! I don't know you, but I know you're a fellow human, and like me, the life you have is far more precious than any amount of "stuff". The universe is absolutely brimming with material stuff. Humankind will be around for a long time, there's loads of "stuff" to service everybody, sure we're even branching out to Mars soon! But your life, your time, that's priceless. I have no fear of death whatsoever, whether it comes when I'm 80, or today. The process itself will come and go, guaranteed. But I do have a sense of loss, that all my experiences, all my memories, all my achievements will be gone forever. So no, I don't fear death or dying, but I will be sorry to lose my life.

Call Me Jimmy · 21-03-2015 12:48PM

I think the moment before you die is like a short sharp hit of heroin where everything releases all at once. Probably don't realise what an agitated state it is to be alive at the best of times compared to floating away. I don't fear it, but I do fear the living through the suffering that will probably come before it.

Mint Aero · 21-03-2015 01:01PM

Death is feared because when he comes round he makes you watch a 3hr introduction VHS tape to Heaven or Hell depending recorded by the Fair City cast.

You're then given an application form with which you must listen to an Irish aural type cassette tape to fill in the answers. Once you've done all that and if you get 60% in the Irish application part (your forced to repeat until you do) you can proceed to the waiting room for an interview.
The room of course resembles your typical 1992 rural Ireland GP's waiting room complete with the Bella magazine, a delightful joke the big man himself thought up thinking we're fans of Bella Doyle from the Fair City heaven/hell introduction tape.

You'll get called...eventually...for the interview. It's conducted in your typical rigid job interview type scenario from 2005 where the buzz words are strengths/weaknesses/team player/motivational etc

If you make it this far you're given a stub with a number on it so you can join the queue for heavens gate or hells door. You've probably guessed this bit but yes it's quite similar to a dole queue. You'll have to get to the check in desk, a cross between your social welfare officer & Ryanair steward.

Then there's the gate, you'll be given a key. Gate is a bit rusty, you got to lift the handle, then turn the key, careful so it doesn't jam, if it jams (it will) just jiggle it a bit but don't force it! If your dad is deceased before you he'll be on the other side to tell you that, if not your dead uncle who no one liked but put up with at Christmas will fill in.

jaffusmax · 21-03-2015 01:04PM

What will become of my loved ones after I die is my main concern. As an Atheist I do not nesscerally beleive in an afterlfe but the death process concerns me. I hope I do not lose my cognitive senses and only then have some priest come to my death bed to try and make me repent and seek salvation!

Saipanne · 21-03-2015 01:06PM

I'm an agnostic. I fear dying, but not being dead. I didn't mind being dead for 13.7 billion years before my birth. It was quite peaceful, actually.

coopdog85 · 21-03-2015 01:07PM

Banjo String wrote: »

I didn't exist before I was born, and I won't after I die.

Life is a break from non existence, make the most of it, you're far longer dead than you are alive.

Genuinely one of the simplest yet best posts I've ever seen on boards.

As I was reading it I was thinking "I'm only 29 & I better get a move on if I want to do it all". !

Clandestine · 21-03-2015 01:23PM

We determine what is real through our senses. When we die, our senses die - therefore we won't know we're dead. We don't experience death.

Also, we can change things inside of our control but death is outside of our control. There is no use in worrying about it as a result. You can't change what happens, but you can change your view about it. "There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Duckworth_Luas · 21-03-2015 01:29PM

patwhacker wrote: »

Option 1. Get on with Living.
or
Option 2. Get on with Dying.

I understand you're a man who knows how to get things

newmug · 21-03-2015 01:37PM

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Survival instinct that is built into us.

We all try to stay alive as long as we can for the sake of our species. That is another reason why suicide is such a tragedy - the suffering a person must be going through to override this instinct must be immense.

I believe that normal people's survival instinct works like this: Your brain tells you that pain = bad, and MORE pain will = death. Pleasure = good, and MORE pleasure will = life. Therefore, we are driven to pursue pleasure, eventhough sitting on the couch will lead to a heart attack, while busting yourself cycling up a hill actually improve your health! Its a result of our pre-historic subconscious brains not catching up to our modern, technologically-brained lifestyles.

However, in some cases of suicide, the pain / pleasure part of the persons brain is out of whack (I know there are many reasons why people commit suicide, but just humour me). The person believes that actually being dead = less pain, and is therefore the logical choice for survival.

Its similar to S&M sex. Most people would be repulsed by S&M, or if they had a penchant for it, it would be more curiosity than anything else. But there are people whose pain / pleasure part of their brain is out of whack the opposite way to a suicidal case. The more pain they experience (whether inflicting OR receiving), the more their brain tells them that this is good for survival. We can see how this works in the sex part - sex is good for survival as it creates life, that's its job. But a person with an S&M pleasure/pain disorder feels like killing and hurting is good for survival. Therefore, when mixed with sex, it becomes violent, blood orientated sex. ie the opposite of what sex is supposed to be about.

You can apply this "pleasure/pain out of whack" theory to a lot of social issues. Workaholics think that working and constantly achieving, even to the detriment of their health and their relationships, is good for survival. Top athletes / business people / politicians are similar, often not seeing the harm they're causing, in the belief that they are furthering their chances of survival. Scumbags think that causing drama and pain and being in a constant state of misery is good for survival, they thrive on it.

I fully believe that most mental problems are centred around this "pleasure/pain being out of whack" disorder. I think that anyone accused of a crime should be given a psychiatric evaluation before going to court, as if there is a problem, there is no point in jailing people who are "mad" instead of "bad" (I dont mean any offence by that, its just an expression). I would say that the majority of prisoners in Ireland probably DO have psychiatric problems, and if so, its not really fair to leave them untreated. I'd say too that its a genetic thing, seeing as Ireland had such a small gene pool for thousands of years. Its leading to crime, alcoholism, and depression on a huge scale, and it needs to be tackled.

The Diabolical Monocle · 21-03-2015 02:51PM

Not at all bothered by the afterlife/non existence/unknown.
The process of it happening .... not in the least bit keen on that. With any luck there will be an opportunity to take matters in hand.

Cant believe pain didnt win the poll by a country mile.

Ciderswigger · 21-03-2015 02:56PM

I was never really too concerned with death until my dad died 8 weeks ago. It was a long illness and to be honest it was a relief for him and us but ever since then I've been thinking a lot about it. I wonder where he is, is he okay, is he with people that have already died, is there a decent golf course for him to play on (:)) and then I realise that he's just....nothing, which is a horrible thought.

I'm not religious but right now I like to think that there's an afterlife because I can't deal with the thoughts of him just being nothing. How can you be there and then not?

I fear death because I want to do and see so much. I want to spend as much time with the people I love and make me laugh as much as possible. But after seeing my dad suffer for so long, I think that you can be 'dead' for a long time before you die, and that scares me more.

Edit: Sorry for getting all weepy and stuff

boobar · 21-03-2015 03:03PM

Well, I'm much more aware of my own mortality now.

A friend of mine died a few weeks ago, he was in his early forties.

I was toying with the idea of taking on a promotion to a high pressure job...so I've cancelled that plan now.

I'm also sorting out a life policy to leave my wife and kid in a more secure position if I die unexpectedly and the thing that I've put off for years...the will be sorted.

I don't fear death just don't welcome it.

Zippie84 · 21-03-2015 03:04PM

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Cant believe pain didnt win the poll by a country mile.

probably cos one is referring to dying and the other is referring to death, as in being dead, so essentially two different things.

Rubberlegs · 21-03-2015 03:10PM

I don't fear death, no point as it's going to come anyway, one way or the other. As long as I end up where my Dad went, that's OK by me. I would love to be a great age, and see grandchildren, and great grandchildren hopefully. But I believe that your destiny is marked out from the day you were born, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it. I fully believed my Dad would see 90, as his father and uncles before him did. So to see him die in his early 70s was a shock. I know it's not very young, but still. It was a wake up call to make the most of everything, and everyone in your life, as none of us knows if we will get tomorrow.

IvyTheTerrible · 21-03-2015 03:18PM

I'm not afraid of what's after death because I don't believe there is anything. I am, however, afraid of the pain of death, so I hope I'll die peacefully in my sleep or something!
I don't want to suffer for a long time before I die, I would like to be able to choose to end it if I am suffering needlessy.

Duggy747 · 21-03-2015 03:19PM

When I was 13 we took in our granny for about 5 years when she had Alzheimer's and watched her fade away to nothing until she died.

A good while before she died she was just a shell; Lights were on but nobody was home so the person we knew was already well gone by the time she died.

I fear wasting away like that rather than fearing death itself but I'm only 29 so I don't plan on popping my clogs for another 50+ years, I just don't want to be a gurgling mess when I do go...........or die of cancer.............fúck cancer.

I don't believe in an afterlife so what I don't like about death is how the world will carry on; People I leave behind, new advancements, space, technology, movies, music, food, sights, sounds, and basically every single thing I experience that I take for granted.

That one day will come when I won't be around to witness any of it.

Saipanne · 21-03-2015 03:21PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

When I was 13 we took in our granny for about 5 years when she had Alzheimer's and watched her fade away to nothing until she died.

A good while before she died she was just a shell; Lights were on but nobody was home so the person we knew was already well gone by the time she died.

I fear wasting away like that rather than just dying but I'm only 29 so I don't plan on popping my clogs for another 50+ years, I just don't want to be a gurgling mess when I do go...........or die of cancer.............fúck cancer.

I don't believe in an afterlife so what I don't like about death is how the world carry on; People I leave behind, new advancements, space, technology, movies, music, food, sights, sounds, and basically every single thing I experience that I take for granted that will one day I won't be around to witness any of it.

The death of the earth, the sun, the universe? You'll miss **** things too.

Ciderswigger · 21-03-2015 03:23PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

A good while before she died she was just a shell; Lights were on but nobody was home so the person we knew was already well gone by the time she died.

This was a bit like my dad, its tough.

ibstar · 21-03-2015 03:34PM

Atheist here. I didn't vote as there's no reason there that matches my opinion on death.
I'm not scarred of death per se, as I will be dead and wouldn't know or even remember the pain if I was to go out in a panful way.
The only thing I do fear is going out too early, before I raise my children and make enough living for them to have something left as a backup/cushion in life.
Also I'd probably hate the thought of some other man living with my wife and raising my kids.

Tarzana2 · 21-03-2015 03:47PM

Heckler wrote: »

Fear of the unknown. And even atheists are secretly scared.

It'd hardly be a secret that many atheists fear death. If you don't believe in an afterlife then you know death is the end of the road, and that's of course scary.

Saipanne · 21-03-2015 03:50PM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

It'd hardly be a secret that many atheists fear death. If you don't believe in an afterlife then you know death is the end of the road, and that's of course scary.

No, it isn't. You completely misunderstand the situation. Eternal life is the scary prospect, whether in heaven or hell. There is no difference between the two.

Life with an end has a point, a purpose. Eternal life is just meaningless and cheapens the earthly existence.

Have a think about it. Seriously.

Death: why is it feared?

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