Death: why is it feared?

Kermit.de.frog

Some of us could drop dead tomorrow, some of us have 50 years and some of us have 100 years but my question is do you fear death?

If you do why? And hence the poll because there can only be 2 reasons.

Heckler

Fear of the unknown. And even atheists are secretly scared. The idea that you cease to exist is a mind bender. Its the ultimate question. I'd love to have faith but I don't. What gets my gander up is so much harm has been done in the name of religion. If it turns out to be a falsehood.......millions upon millions of people will have died for something that never existed. Thats a brain melt.

suicide_circus

I fear leaving those I love to fend for themselves

wilddarts

suicide_circus wrote: »

I fear leaving those I love to fend for themselves

Some name... Same here tho. Its the mess you might leave behind that scares me.

Heckler

Frightens the hell out of me that you could literally drop dead at any given moment. Theres a video around of I think some indian politician and he gets a heart attack mid sentence and just collapses and dies.

A neighbour of mine at 47 was found dead sitting in front of his computer. Had a heart attack. Never saw it coming I'd say.

theteal

I don't fear being dead, I'll be doing the same stuff I was before I was conceived. I would have concerns about how I go though e.g. I wouldn't want drown, burn, progressive illness like MND (in fact, my issue with an illness like that would be when to actually make the trip to Switzerland?)

surpy

I'm afraid no one will clear my browsing history

timetogo

Heckler wrote: »

And even some atheists are secretly scared.

Fixed that for ya.

I don't fear death. Not particularly looking forward to it though. I'd be more worried about how I'm going to die. Most of my family die of old age so I'm OK with that. After death there's nothing to fear. If there's an afterlife then great. If there isn't, I won't know about it so what's to fear in that ☺

As it is none of the options on the poll fit me so I didn't choose.

Banjo String

I didn't exist before I was born, and I won't after I die.

Life is a break from non existence, make the most of it, you're far longer dead than you are alive.

CiDeRmAn

I'm an atheist, no secret fear of death here, in fact right now at this age, early 40's, I have a healthy and open distaste for being dead.
Not because of anything metaphysical or spiritual, just because I haven't finished experiencing things yet, I haven't finished living my family yet, and once I'm dead I won't be and to do those things anymore.
Being dead means you are gone, what you have done up to that point is all that will remain, it is all that will mark me out as a good man or a bad man, a man who made a positive impact on those he knew, a man who damaged those he came in contact with or a man of no consequence whatsoever.
Being dead means no more learning, no more getting better, wiser, kinder.
So, with those things in mind why would I not fear death?

When I am 80 or 90 perhaps I will have a different opinion and welcome some respite from life's travails, but I may be just as reluctant to cease to be at that point too.

Your poll, therefore, is a little too proscribed, there should be more options than the one offered.
As it is there is nothing I can select I'm afraid.

hollster2

Like someone said fear of the unknown and for me wondering what would happen to my children, leaving them behind.

I went through a stage I couldn't sleep because I was frightened I wouldn't wake up, it wasn't a nice feeling.

Think its more anxiety for me though.

Depraved

I stole his cloak, wand and resurrection stone. He's pissed.

cloud493

Sure we're all gonna die someday. Might as well go with it *







*except for Bruce Forsyth, he will of course live forever.

JustTheOne

No-one will remember you in a couple of hundred years no matter what legacy you leave behind and certainly not a million years so who cares.

DANNY2014

It's feared for its the single one thing we all have in common on this planet we all have been waiting for it since that first breath and we all no matter how much we try to avoid or fear death it's forever right around a corner...

mickstupp

I'd normally be quite Epicurean in my outlook, but his views on death are not ones I share. I fear death because I quite like living at the moment, and I'd rather that not end for a while yet. I spent too long trying not to die for me to be comfortable with its approach. Mind you, if I ever get to the stage where I can't take care of myself, and I'm a burden to others, and my quality of life is terrible... then I'd like to think at that stage the state will no longer have a problem with me deciding to check out.

pow wow

Right now as a reasonably young pup part of the fear of death is knowing it's coming but not knowing when - will I have done all I need to do, said all I need to say etc? I think that once you know death is literally around the corner and there's no escaping it that a certain serenity sets in about the whole thing, it's coming and you can't change that. I don't care where I go (or don't go!) after, I'll be dead!

My dad died suddenly though not entirely unexpectedly last month and there was a kind of calm about him in the couple of days before, as if he was aware that 'this was it', even though we were all telling him he'd be fine and at home in no time. If you know it's imminent and there's no going back I can't see what there is to fear really.

NotCominBack

Humans are primarily designed to survive, same for most animals - its completely against our nature to give up or accept death...

I'm going out kicking and screaming, same way I came in...

CramCycle

NotCominBack wrote: »

I'm going out kicking and screaming, same way I came in...

Same here, the thought of non existence is quite a mind f*ck. I understand the need for some to believe there is something after, makes it easier to deal with While alive.

I just try not to think about it though but when I do, I don't know about you but I plan to live forever

Zippie84

I'm not sure I do fear death.

I don't like that no matter how much it might feel otherwise, my death would impact greatly on others, but don't think that means I 'fear' death.

I think deep down I have a feeling that I didn't choose to exist, and that if someone came along and offered me the chance to die now, without me having to kill myself, and ideally without it impacting too much on others, there's a strong chance I'd take it.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I don't fear being dead, I fear dying young and not being there for my children growing up.

eviltwin

I'm not afraid of dying but I am afraid of dying before I'm ready to go.

force eleven

'For the living know that they shall die, but the dead know nothing, they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten' Ecclesiastes 9:5.

How appropriate this thread is for me. The past few weeks I have been having panic attacks, not being able to sleep, crying to myself and being unable to enjoy things as a result of dear of dying.

This was an issue in my younger year but has not crossed my mind for over a decade. I am constantly reminded of death everywhere, watchin tv, video games, conversations...even phrases like a god help ya or I'm dying after drinkin makes my stomach drop.

The thoughts of loved ones along with myself ceasing to exist scares the fcuk out of me. I have been contemplating rediscovering religion. I had a discussion with a Muslim taxi driver before and I admired that he was full sure that when we die we meet god. I couldn't believe his conviction. I need something in my life to assure me everything will be ok when I'm gone as I am drivin myself insane and depressed at the age of 25.

Precious flower

Ya know, the whole ceasing to exist thing or if you're religious the idea of spending eternity in some random place.

daveg

For many I don't think this question bothers them until they have a family. I have a wife and 2 kids and it absolutly wrecks my head when I think one day I'll die and I may never see them again. I try not to think about it.....

weisses

Death : great metal Band

Feared :Great Metal band

Miss the option in the poll

jobeenfitz

I don't fear death so much, its the getting there I have fear of. I don't believe in afterlife or gods, Not saying they aint there, just don't believe.

patwhacker

You can believe anything you like but when it comes right down to it...... you have only one of two options in my view.

Option 1. Get on with Living.
or
Option 2. Get on with Dying.

Simple as...!

the evasion_kid

After years of suffering with panic attacks,I think I've reached a stage were I don't care about dying,now if I had some debilitating disease would be my fear but I'd tell them to load me up with morphine and nod off to my own personal paradise island for my last days on earth

PizzamanIRL

I don't fear death. Where's my poll option?

weldoninhio

I've no fear of dying. Whatsoever. If I go today I go today. In fact, if there was a button I could press and die of natural causes, I'd have no problem pressing it.

I'm not religious, have no idea what happens when you die, but it's not something I'm worried about. The only thing I'd be worried about is being in pain before I die.

wretcheddomain

There's a difference between a fear of death and a fear of dying.

One may not have a fear of death, but could easily have a fear of dying in some unsympathetic, sordid way.

bb1234567

I just hate how so much work and effort is put into every human. Like think of all the resources we consume only to die later on and become nothing, what was the point of using such vast amounts of resources on me if I come of no use. All the electricity used for my TV and stereo, all the fuel I used for travelling, all the energy used to heat my home, all the animals that died to feed me, all the clothes Ive worn throughout my life, all the tress cut to make the books Ive read, the thousands and thousands of hours Ive spent in education to get a job, all the relationships and friendships Ive built throughout my life.. It just astounds me the amount of resources the average westerner consumes in their lifetime. And what does it come to. Nothing.

Zippie84

wretcheddomain wrote: »

There's a difference between a fear of death and a fear of dying.

One may not have a fear of death, but could easily have a fear of dying in some unsympathetic, sordid way.

yep, and I did notice that people did interpret the question in different ways. Of course I would fear dying in some terrible way,, but absolutely no fear of death itself.

RobertKK

I'm not afraid of death, I just want to live long enough as I do say 'one will be dead long enough'.

But we all hope for a nice death, not be like some unfortunate appearing in a video and having their head chopped off, being lined up in North Korea and being shot before you are fed to dogs-an escapee from a concentration in NK said this happened.

A natural death and enough painkillers if there is pain...

No point fearing it, better off getting on with your life and try to make the best of it for yourself and for others.

Vernonymous

I fear my girlfriend would be sad without me

phater phagan

I do not fear death, like many posters here have said. I think people view death differently at different ages in their lives. Young people generally don't think about it very much and older ones are more aware of its impending arrival. It's a question that is imponderable because no one has returned from death to explain it. Although I do not fear it - neither do I embrace it.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

RobertKK

bb1234567 wrote: »

I just hate how so much work and effort is put into every human. Like think of all the resources we consume only to die later on and become nothing, what was the point of using such vast amounts of resources on me if I come of no use. All the electricity used for my TV and stereo, all the fuel I used for travelling, all the energy used to heat my home, all the animals that died to feed me, all the clothes Ive worn throughout my life, all the tress cut to make the books Ive read, the thousands and thousands of hours Ive spent in education to get a job, all the relationships and friendships Ive built throughout my life.. It just astounds me the amount of resources the average westerner consumes in their lifetime. And what does it come to. Nothing.

That is a very individualistic look at it. We do not live in isolation, we can make the lives of others better or worse.
If you make life better for others, give love to those who show love and receive love from those who love you. That lives on.

Lets say you work in healthcare and you keep someone alive, you help discover some medical breakthrough, some new technology, you educate, produce food, you help people communicate via technology or whatever.
You would have contributed to the lives of others and what you did will have effects whether seen or unseen after you are gone.

Lives have effects whether positive or negative, even when one is gone.
Most of us want to leave those behind with positive memories and have made a difference by our existence whether that difference is easily seen or maybe unseen.

Mr_Muffin

Survival instinct that is built into us.

We all try to stay alive as long as we can for the sake of our species. That is another reason why suicide is such a tragedy - the suffering a person must be going through to override this instinct must be immense.

newmug

bb1234567 wrote: »

I just hate how so much work and effort is put into every human. Like think of all the resources we consume only to die later on and become nothing, what was the point of using such vast amounts of resources on me if I come of no use. All the electricity used for my TV and stereo, all the fuel I used for travelling, all the energy used to heat my home, all the animals that died to feed me, all the clothes Ive worn throughout my life, all the tress cut to make the books Ive read, the thousands and thousands of hours Ive spent in education to get a job, all the relationships and friendships Ive built throughout my life.. It just astounds me the amount of resources the average westerner consumes in their lifetime. And what does it come to. Nothing.

Bloody hell! I see what you're saying, but do you not think its good value? Do you not think that your life, YOU, are worth all those things? Those materialistic, replaceable, ultimately valueless things? That attitude + no fear of death = possible suicide territory!


I think that you're worth it! I don't know you, but I know you're a fellow human, and like me, the life you have is far more precious than any amount of "stuff". The universe is absolutely brimming with material stuff. Humankind will be around for a long time, there's loads of "stuff" to service everybody, sure we're even branching out to Mars soon! But your life, your time, that's priceless. I have no fear of death whatsoever, whether it comes when I'm 80, or today. The process itself will come and go, guaranteed. But I do have a sense of loss, that all my experiences, all my memories, all my achievements will be gone forever. So no, I don't fear death or dying, but I will be sorry to lose my life.

Call Me Jimmy

I think the moment before you die is like a short sharp hit of heroin where everything releases all at once. Probably don't realise what an agitated state it is to be alive at the best of times compared to floating away. I don't fear it, but I do fear the living through the suffering that will probably come before it.

Mint Aero

Death is feared because when he comes round he makes you watch a 3hr introduction VHS tape to Heaven or Hell depending recorded by the Fair City cast.

You're then given an application form with which you must listen to an Irish aural type cassette tape to fill in the answers. Once you've done all that and if you get 60% in the Irish application part (your forced to repeat until you do) you can proceed to the waiting room for an interview.
The room of course resembles your typical 1992 rural Ireland GP's waiting room complete with the Bella magazine, a delightful joke the big man himself thought up thinking we're fans of Bella Doyle from the Fair City heaven/hell introduction tape.

You'll get called...eventually...for the interview. It's conducted in your typical rigid job interview type scenario from 2005 where the buzz words are strengths/weaknesses/team player/motivational etc

If you make it this far you're given a stub with a number on it so you can join the queue for heavens gate or hells door. You've probably guessed this bit but yes it's quite similar to a dole queue. You'll have to get to the check in desk, a cross between your social welfare officer & Ryanair steward.

Then there's the gate, you'll be given a key. Gate is a bit rusty, you got to lift the handle, then turn the key, careful so it doesn't jam, if it jams (it will) just jiggle it a bit but don't force it! If your dad is deceased before you he'll be on the other side to tell you that, if not your dead uncle who no one liked but put up with at Christmas will fill in.

jaffusmax

What will become of my loved ones after I die is my main concern. As an Atheist I do not nesscerally beleive in an afterlfe but the death process concerns me. I hope I do not lose my cognitive senses and only then have some priest come to my death bed to try and make me repent and seek salvation!

Saipanne

I'm an agnostic. I fear dying, but not being dead. I didn't mind being dead for 13.7 billion years before my birth. It was quite peaceful, actually.

coopdog85

Banjo String wrote: »

I didn't exist before I was born, and I won't after I die.

Life is a break from non existence, make the most of it, you're far longer dead than you are alive.

Genuinely one of the simplest yet best posts I've ever seen on boards.

As I was reading it I was thinking "I'm only 29 & I better get a move on if I want to do it all". !

Clandestine

We determine what is real through our senses. When we die, our senses die - therefore we won't know we're dead. We don't experience death.

Also, we can change things inside of our control but death is outside of our control. There is no use in worrying about it as a result. You can't change what happens, but you can change your view about it. "There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Duckworth_Luas

patwhacker wrote: »

Option 1. Get on with Living.
or
Option 2. Get on with Dying.

I understand you're a man who knows how to get things

newmug

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Survival instinct that is built into us.

We all try to stay alive as long as we can for the sake of our species. That is another reason why suicide is such a tragedy - the suffering a person must be going through to override this instinct must be immense.

I believe that normal people's survival instinct works like this: Your brain tells you that pain = bad, and MORE pain will = death. Pleasure = good, and MORE pleasure will = life. Therefore, we are driven to pursue pleasure, eventhough sitting on the couch will lead to a heart attack, while busting yourself cycling up a hill actually improve your health! Its a result of our pre-historic subconscious brains not catching up to our modern, technologically-brained lifestyles.


However, in some cases of suicide, the pain / pleasure part of the persons brain is out of whack (I know there are many reasons why people commit suicide, but just humour me). The person believes that actually being dead = less pain, and is therefore the logical choice for survival.


Its similar to S&M sex. Most people would be repulsed by S&M, or if they had a penchant for it, it would be more curiosity than anything else. But there are people whose pain / pleasure part of their brain is out of whack the opposite way to a suicidal case. The more pain they experience (whether inflicting OR receiving), the more their brain tells them that this is good for survival. We can see how this works in the sex part - sex is good for survival as it creates life, that's its job. But a person with an S&M pleasure/pain disorder feels like killing and hurting is good for survival. Therefore, when mixed with sex, it becomes violent, blood orientated sex. ie the opposite of what sex is supposed to be about.


You can apply this "pleasure/pain out of whack" theory to a lot of social issues. Workaholics think that working and constantly achieving, even to the detriment of their health and their relationships, is good for survival. Top athletes / business people / politicians are similar, often not seeing the harm they're causing, in the belief that they are furthering their chances of survival. Scumbags think that causing drama and pain and being in a constant state of misery is good for survival, they thrive on it.


I fully believe that most mental problems are centred around this "pleasure/pain being out of whack" disorder. I think that anyone accused of a crime should be given a psychiatric evaluation before going to court, as if there is a problem, there is no point in jailing people who are "mad" instead of "bad" (I dont mean any offence by that, its just an expression). I would say that the majority of prisoners in Ireland probably DO have psychiatric problems, and if so, its not really fair to leave them untreated. I'd say too that its a genetic thing, seeing as Ireland had such a small gene pool for thousands of years. Its leading to crime, alcoholism, and depression on a huge scale, and it needs to be tackled.

The Diabolical Monocle

Not at all bothered by the afterlife/non existence/unknown.
The process of it happening .... not in the least bit keen on that. With any luck there will be an opportunity to take matters in hand.

Cant believe pain didnt win the poll by a country mile.

Ciderswigger

I was never really too concerned with death until my dad died 8 weeks ago. It was a long illness and to be honest it was a relief for him and us but ever since then I've been thinking a lot about it. I wonder where he is, is he okay, is he with people that have already died, is there a decent golf course for him to play on (:)) and then I realise that he's just....nothing, which is a horrible thought.

I'm not religious but right now I like to think that there's an afterlife because I can't deal with the thoughts of him just being nothing. How can you be there and then not?

I fear death because I want to do and see so much. I want to spend as much time with the people I love and make me laugh as much as possible. But after seeing my dad suffer for so long, I think that you can be 'dead' for a long time before you die, and that scares me more.


Edit: Sorry for getting all weepy and stuff