Why do people want to have Children

strobe wrote: »

But I dunno, I like kids. I also quite like monkeys though. But I'm not going to voluntarily buy one and dedicate the next 18 years of my life to taking care of it.

Some breeds of monkeys such as Cappuchins can live up to 40years. Far worse than any child!

Um...well logically we shouldn't "want" them. They're a monumental pain in the arse, they make life a million times harder, they're an incredible amount of pressure and they're a constant source of worry.

But our genes are selfish and they want to reproduce themselves.

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

Bit sad that the sum total of your life ambition is to create a needy replica of yourself.

Reminds me of the person who said the sun rose in the morning for the want of something better to do.

I've always loved kids and playing with my little cousins was always wonderful and I've often thought I wanted kids but like most people I've also thought about what I could offer a child. So for now while I'm not in the financial state you'd want to be to have kids I plan to have them in future and I can offer them a stable home. While that isn't the only consideration-what could I offer a kid- while everyone has moments where they think they're a horrible person, so too do people think they will be horrible parents, I thought I would be because I thought my parents were but now I realise they did their best and practically killed themselves with work to make sure I had everything I needed and I as an angsty teenager just couldn't see that and I believe people can learn from each other as well as their own mistakes and not repeat them. Though some people are horrible and probably shouldn't have kids many people are wonderful and don't have them either so it's not always so simple and even then there's no guarantees their kids will turn out the same it's a pretty safe bet. Ultimately it's a personal decision which shouldn't be taken lightly or mocked by some as the individual as considered the consequences for their life and we have to respect that

Ended my relationship with my last girlfriend for this very reason in November, was about 19 months into the relationship, but she said about a year into the relationship that she doesn't ever want kids because she is an academic in a science field and she threw this science mumbo jumbo at me that people that are academics and that are high functioning are prone to having autistic children, then other days she was like "Oh I might be open to adoption"

I would be more free spirited and I think "Take a chance, everyone else does!" I don't want to have kids with anyone anytime soon, but it would be nice to have that door left open for the future if I'm in this for the long haul and she was deadly serious in her comments, I kept putting it to the back of my mind, thinking "Oh she might change her mind sure we're not together very long yet" but this kept pecking at me for months where she kept repeating herself on the subject if we ever seen a kid wherever on the street and all I kept thinking was "What if she doesn't change her mind and I'd have wasted years with someone that doesn't want the same things I want when that time comes" And I know her well, she's incredibly stubborn and once her mind is made up, she sticks to it.

In my mind I always thought, why wouldn't a woman not want to have their own, I thinking it's nature, she should want to have her own. Was very frustrating thinking and thinking about it, until I just sort of burned out and had to end it, just couldn't deal with it anymore. Was really hard on me because at the end of it I've always struggled getting a girlfriend which made it incredibly difficult to call it quits, the whole month of November was hell because I've had to adjust and for December I've still been up and down because of it, probably because of Christmas and new year naturally.

I've always wanted to be a Dad because I've always had a difficult relationship with my Dad stemming back a long time, basically because he went somewhat off the rails when I was a teenager and promoting this "Don't do as I do, do as I say" attitude, where he gets to do whatever he wants when he wants, thinking "Ah sure the children are pretty much reared now, I can do what I want and not give a f**k" and he never really faces the consequences for it, which really is a bad influence even on a teenager but he did some bad s**t when I was a kid too. My mam on the other hand, I'm more like her, we have the same values pretty much.

I've always wanted to be the Dad that is the opposite of my own who looks after every thing, doesn't do anything incredibly selfish/careless/ thoughtless/irresponsible and makes sure the kids never have an unpleasant or bonkers upbringing, the same as other kids his/her age and not have them look at me with disdain/disgust like I do with my own Dad still, even now that I'm well into my 20's.

While these do sound like good reasons, personally I'm just apprehensive about the financial aspect and the loss of career opportunities and a social life. I'd like to have a kid if it meant all the good parts, but all the bad stuff, no thanks. Right now I don't plan on ever having kids as I want to be as commitment free as possible through my whole life - however if I feel at some point that there's that one thing missing, maybe I will consider it.

You need someone to tell your boring stories.

To contribute something good to the world.
I also want to love and nurture a being that came from me(and their father)
Yes It's a selfish desire.

To have something live and grow inside of you has to be a remarkable life changing experience.

I think many people have them because they are bored with life, and kids give you a nice long project to work on.

I have 3 nieces that I'm mad about and spend a lot of time with, but I think I'd go insane if I couldn't just hand them back whenever they started to bug me.....which would be often.

anyone not thinking of having children so they can travel the world and be financially secure, ? as far as i can see children are dreadfully expensive

The main reason I had kids was so that I could stomp around Tesco doing funny walks pretending to be a crocodile and not get kicked out. It's just lucky my eldest finds this hilarious and joins in.