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Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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Comments

  • #452
    Mesrine65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,949 ✭✭✭Mesrine65


    Bendihorse wrote: »
    Friend of mine works for a private bus company and frequently gets the following

    "Hello, x Bus Company"

    "Hi, what time does the eight o'clock bus to Dublin go at"
    In all fairness, if it's JJ Kavanagh's he works for it could be any time between 07.45 - 08.45ish :D


  • #453
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »
    One instantly springs to mind. One of our interns asked me for a meeting last May. Young lad from Ireland with a cheap suit and a sheet of paper from UCD that made him think he was the next Warren Buffet. Had the temerity to tell me our team should consider investing in the Russian rouble because 'of the crisis over there'.
    3 or 4 minutes of sharp questioning from AvB ensued asking him to elucidate on his theory.

    He's an intern no longer. Back in Dublin working in one of the clearing houses.


    Good chap ... now go back to making sociopathic rich people richer


  • #454
    Corruptedmorals
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,195 ✭✭✭Corruptedmorals


    Hello can I make an appointment please?

    No problem, which doctor or speciality is that for?

    I don't know.

    Do you have a referral letter?

    No.

    And repeat. There are 20 consultants, and several specialities we don't have so it's fairly important to know..


  • #455
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    "What do you like about working for this company?"

    I did not understand the question ............. so it must be a stupid question!!


  • #456
    LeBash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,666 ✭✭✭LeBash


    "Hey, just leaving a voice mail to say i sent you an email"


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  • #457
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Work in a prison. An inmate asked me to bring him in a piece of liver in from the butchers so he could do an American Pie type deal with it.... :eek:


  • #458
    Frynge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    LeBash wrote: »
    "Hey, just leaving a voice mail to say i sent you an email"

    I hate this ****.


  • #459
    _Tombstone_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭_Tombstone_


    MadDog76 wrote: »
    "What do you like about working for this company?"

    I did not understand the question ............. so it must be a stupid question!!

    In fairness, it is a stupid lazy question.


  • #460
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    minamar wrote: »
    hot chocolate with cream

    What's wrong with this?


  • #461
    Hector Mildew
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 253 ✭✭Hector Mildew


    Photo-Sniper wrote: »
    A woman asked for her chicken breast to be cooked with no fats, no oil no nothing. She wouldn't allow it go in the oven either. Had to sous vide it without any color. Rotten

    Was grilling not an option?


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  • #462
    Egginacup
    Site Banned Posts: 2,922 ✭✭✭Egginacup


    Keyzer wrote: »
    Working in IT many years ago this 'manager' approached me in a panic telling me someone had stolen his headset and replaced it with a 'left-eared' headset. He demanded I give him a replacement 'right-eared' headset immediately as he was already late for a conference call.

    I was immediately intrigued and decided to investigate. Turns out he had flipped the microphone on the headset back the other way earlier in the day. So when he put the headset on to show me this 'left-eared' headset, it turned out the mic was at the back of his neck.

    So I rotated the microphone back to its original position and hey presto, mystery solved.

    What a dork...

    Should have told the arsehole that the only solution was to have his ears detached and switched around.


  • #463
    Los Lobos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 728 ✭✭✭Los Lobos


    I work a trade counter, and we used to have those Barnados/Charity sweet boxes on the counter, where ya throw in €2 and grab a bar/crisps/sweets.

    So I'm working away, serving a customer, some dude is rifling through them at the end of the counter. He looks up at me with a pack of fizzy cola bottles in his hand and says

    "are these the only fizzy sweets you have?"

    Dude, it's a trade counter, not a f*cking sweet shop, get ta f*ck


  • #464
    Natalia Attractive Radius
    Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Natalia Attractive Radius


    draiochtanois wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    I've heard people ranting about this before - that you would expect so, but they still take the % off...


  • #465
    somesoldiers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,846 ✭✭✭✭somesoldiers


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Work in a prison. An inmate asked me to bring him in a piece of liver in from the butchers so he could do an American Pie type deal with it.... :eek:

    Pound of liver & pint glass, an oldie


  • #466
    gozunda
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    bucketybuck wrote: »
    Can you please show me where I said any of that?

    And it's "you're".

    Implied *thanks ;)


  • #467
    Pie and Mash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41 ✭Pie and Mash


    I was one asked to put a program disc back in it's sleeve immediately before it got a virus......


  • #468
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,034 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    somesoldiers wrote: »
    Pound of liver & pint glass, an oldie

    Alright stud.

    Quarter pound and a tumbler is all I usually need


  • #469
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    Pie and Mash wrote: »
    I was one asked to put a program disc back in it's sleeve immediately before it got a virus......

    No!!!!

    Seriously????


  • #470
    Pie and Mash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41 ✭Pie and Mash


    the_monkey wrote: »
    No!!!!

    Seriously????

    Dead serious.


  • #471
    Wang King
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭Wang King


    somesoldiers wrote: »
    Pound of liver & pint glass, an oldie

    American prisoners used love gardening detail, a bunch of worms inside a sock :)


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  • #472
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    sunnysoutheast wrote: »
    Many years ago at a software company we recruited a skilled fella to augment our delivery project team. Throughout the interview process we stressed, over and over, that the project was at a critical stage and would entail hard work, commitment, travel to multiple client sites here and abroad. Both I and HR asked whether that posed any issues and whether he had any holidays planned for the next while, "not at all" was the response.

    Sooo, he starts on the Monday. First thing on the Wednesday, he asks us for 8 weeks leave so he can take his aging grandfather on the Hajj pilgrimage. Travelling overland from Slough as the old guy won't fly.

    Speechless wasn't the word.


    And I'd imagine you had to let him too ?

    Othwerwise the SS Nazi British police would have thrown you in jail for religious hate crimes.


  • #473
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Wang King wrote: »
    American prisoners used love gardening detail, a bunch of worms inside a sock :)

    Somewhat apt username.


  • #474
    corner of hells
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,437 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    the_monkey wrote: »
    And I'd imagine you had to let him too ?

    Othwerwise the SS Nazi British police would have thrown you in jail for religious hate crimes.

    I had to read this twice .... the "SS Nazi British police" ?


  • #475
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    corner of hells wrote: »
    I had to read this twice .... the "SS Nazi British police" ?

    Of course, have you seen the police and laws in that disgusting country?


  • #476
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,939 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    gozunda wrote: »
    Implied

    It certainly was not.


  • #477
    Seanf999
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 369 ✭✭Seanf999


    Not so much a request at work but when I was getting a passport photo taken earlier this week.
    (Lady taking the photo is L, I'm M)

    L-ok just look at the camera
    M-(looked at camera lense)
    L-nope sorry your looking down can you do it again and look at the lens?
    M-(looking at the same spot)
    L-nope still not right can you look abit higher?

    So I ended up staring above her head (there wasn't a huge height difference)
    She didn't think to raise up the camera, she had it pressed against her stomach took it up to look at the photo and put it back on her stomach again.

    Chances are that photo will not be accepted as I'm not looking near th camera but she said it was 'spot on'


  • #478
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,978 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    draiochtanois wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    :rolleyes: Did you get your buckets sorted in the end? Those machines in tesco sort the coins, and count them while sorting. If there's foreign coins/buttons/trolley tokens etc mixed in with what you empty in, those machines spit them back out.

    The machine behind me was literally a weighing scales, almost like what you'd see in your kitchen. So if you're aware of one of those that you can just set a bucket of assorted coins and various other bits on top of it, and that machine will tell you exactly how much is in the bucket, then I shall happily eat my words.


  • #479
    theboy1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 216 ✭✭theboy1


    My boss asked me to fake being married to his sister for 24 hours when the deportation officer was visiting.


  • #480
    thelad95
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    Seanf999 wrote: »
    Not so much a request at work but when I was getting a passport photo taken earlier this week.
    (Lady taking the photo is L, I'm M)

    L-ok just look at the camera
    M-(looked at camera lense)
    L-nope sorry your looking down can you do it again and look at the lens?
    M-(looking at the same spot)
    L-nope still not right can you look abit higher?

    So I ended up staring above her head (there wasn't a huge height difference)
    She didn't think to raise up the camera, she had it pressed against her stomach took it up to look at the photo and put it back on her stomach again.

    Chances are that photo will not be accepted as I'm not looking near th camera but she said it was 'spot on'

    Generally, I avoid chemists for passport photos to be honest, a lot of them don't seem to have their staff trained properly. Last time I had to get it done, my eyes were shadowed out but the girl said they were fine and tried to make me pay €6. Eventually she agreed to retake.

    Machines can actually be more reliable as they generally tell you where to stare and give you an option to aaccept/reject.


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  • #481
    gozunda
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    bucketybuck wrote: »
    It certainly was not.

    Indeed


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