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Now Ye're Talking - To a member of the Traveller Community

13

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭TravellerGirl


    Cheensbo wrote: »
    Hi, thanks for doing AMA,

    On the high suicide rate:
    I recently stopped a young male traveller from committing suicide, he'd hanged himself but we got him down before the damage was done.

    He was 23, he was having trouble with his wife and this was not his first attempt.

    He was clearly having problems and when He came around while waiting for the ambulance he confided in us that he was unable to speak about it to anyone, and for him to be seen to seek professional help would have him shunned by his family and friends. He had tried to speak to his friends and he had just been told to cop on and man up...

    What would you say to this young man?

    And do you think that open speaking about mental health & other personal problems will ever be accepted in the traveller community?

    Thats so sad. If he was my husband I'd beg him to talk to me and if not I'd book an appointment for him to see a counselor.
    I hope that something changes and they have more people to talk openly to.


  • Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭TravellerGirl


    Tina82 wrote: »
    Hi TG,

    Great idea for a thread. I myself am a settled woman in a relationship wit a traveller. I can honestly say I never experienced discrimination until I became involved in this relationship and unfortunately the discrimination came from my own people (settled community). I had a very close friend that was getting married and invited all our friends and their partners to her wedding however I was invited on my own incase my partner would cause trouble. I will never forget the hurt and embarrassment I felt. I remember when we first met and we wanted to go out for a drink together he would be very nervous going to a pub door incase he was refused and he didn't want to embarrass me. I will admit that their is a lot of cultural differences between us but 6 years later we're still together and its working for us.

    Well I'm happy that it has worked out for you. Yes I bet it was very embarrassing for both of you. I just hope that both of you sstay together and make your future. You sound like a lovely person.


  • Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭TravellerGirl


    If someone (in dublin anyway) does something disgusting, it would be quite common for them to be called "a knacker" do you think this is a sign of how casual discrimination against travellers has become?

    Also would you be personally offended if you heard someone being called that even though it wasnt directed at you or anyone in the travelling community?

    Yes I would because its still a name travellers get called. Its not nice and its discrimination


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    TravellerGirl, you are clearly intelligent and very articulate as well.

    Would you consider doing a degree yourself and if not, why not?


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    How did you meet your fiance and how come you are living together rather than married?

    Is that not an unusual choice to make as a traveller?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,286 ✭✭✭dinorebel


    Hope you don't think this is a rude question but does your fiance know you are doing this and if not how do you think he would feel about it?



    Would also like to say thanks for doing this I've not had much interaction with travellers and what I have is a mix of good and bad(caught 2 trying to steal from my oil tank) and it's great to hear a different opinion.


  • Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭TravellerGirl


    MrWalsh wrote: »
    TravellerGirl, you are clearly intelligent and very articulate as well.

    Would you consider doing a degree yourself and if not, why not?

    Thank you. I would but it would depend on what. I'm really into, hairdressing, beauty, special needs assistant and childcare.


  • Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭TravellerGirl


    Stheno wrote: »
    How did you meet your fiance and how come you are living together rather than married?

    Is that not an unusual choice to make as a traveller?

    I knew my fiance the last 9 years and we are together the last two years. We went through an awful lot with my family.


  • Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭TravellerGirl


    dinorebel wrote: »
    Hope you don't think this is a rude question but does your fiance know you are doing this and if not how do you think he would feel about it?



    Would also like to say thanks for doing this I've not had much interaction with travellers and what I have is a mix of good and bad(caught 2 trying to steal from my oil tank) and it's great to hear a different opinion.

    He does know I have been on here commenting but I havent been fully hhonest about it.

    Your welcome I hope I done good.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,030 ✭✭✭Call me Al


    Well done for coming onboard to answer all these questions!

    is there much awareness and discussion of domestic violence within the travelling community? I know the rates are higher than the settled community, so what would you put this down to? What usually happens if there is a problem in a marriage? Would a woman interact with the courts for a barring order? Or is this handled by the community itself?

    Also, the life expectancy of traveller women is on average 12 years shorter than for women in the settled community. Is there much awareness of this fact amongst the women within the travelling community?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    IMO the settled community would be a whole lot more open to accepting travellers if a high (higher than settled) proportion of your community were not as prone to stealing, fighting and treating the countryside like a tip.

    What do you think is needed to change some travellers attitude to the above? Education?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 88,242 ✭✭✭✭JP Liz V1


    Do you work or does your partner work?


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    I knew my fiance the last 9 years and we are together the last two years. We went through an awful lot with my family.

    Do you mean you went through an awful lot when you moved in together?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    TravellerGirl, are either yourself or your partner in paid employment currently.

    If not, what do ye see as your future prospects for earning a living?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,657 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    _Brian wrote: »
    Really enjoying this thread.
    Thanks for answering questions.

    What do you think stops the well behaved travellers from reporting the criminal element among the community.
    I feel this would go a good way towards increasing acceptance that not all travellers are criminals.
    Because you don't want to get involved in other peoples business. There would be very big feuds if that happened.


    Thanks for the answer..
    But there is such a high perception of criminal activity, this results in the opinion of not being able to trust any travelers. Does this not make it everyone's business ?

    In any society if everyone turns a blind eye then the criminal among us are allowed run amock and so ruin any possibility of fair play.

    I think this is a major flaw in the general thinking, the criminal elements among us need to be exposed and isolated so that the law abiding can flourish - settled and traveller alike !


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,227 ✭✭✭Sam Mac


    I want six myself but if I have more Iwould be happy. My parents only had 4 kids and my partner has nine siblings.

    No I live on private ground.

    How did you come to this number? Why so many? Also, how do you plan to raise 6+ kids for 18 years or more in a caravan?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 151 ✭✭coldcake


    Why are halting sites so badly cared for? The one in our community has all the roofs gone from the utility units and there is rubbish strewn all over the surrounding fields.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    coldcake wrote: »
    Why are halting sites so badly cared for? The one in our community has all the roofs gone from the utility units and there is rubbish strewn all over the surrounding fields.

    Theres one in my area like that, and a couple of miles away there is one that is like a show estate, with beautifully kept hanging baskets, statues, flowers, old style lampposts (obviously installed at occupants expense - nothing the council would provide!). Vast difference.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Hi,

    I find this insitful, I used be a boxing ref so interacted with the traveller and settled community a bit there. Some good lass some cheeky like the settled folk

    Are you pround of people like Andy Lee 's achievement as a guy with traveller heratige


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,227 ✭✭✭Sam Mac


    No. Your parents, grandparents etc have to be travellers.

    A very exclusive club then.


  • Registered Users Posts: 723 ✭✭✭Luke92


    Is cannabis accepted in the traveller community? I used to buy weed off a couple of traveller lads and they liked to get stoned too.

    Like I know anything more and you would be totally shunned (cocaine, heroin). I have seen this first hand.

    And also, when I was younger I was mates with a traveller and about age 14 we were walking down the road and his uncle and father flew past in a van and smacked him with a stick in the head while driving past. Like a proper smack and he said its because he was friends with the girls, that he wasn't allowed be with girls.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,139 ✭✭✭flanzer


    I once witnessed a traveller being arrested for handling a neighbours dog and breaking and entering through a side gate of a house. She was driving a brand new Audi A4. The car was towed away, as she had the car for 7 months without taxing it. The dog was immediately returned to the owner.

    Tell me this, how do travellers generally make an income to afford such a car, and how she couldn't afford her car tax if she could afford such a car?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,102 ✭✭✭Stinicker


    Do you have any criminal convictions?

    Has the promised crackdown on Welfare Fraud effected you or any members of your family?

    Do you know anything about Tarmac?

    Have you or family members been to England, Italy or Australia recently?

    Have you or family members ever driven a Hiace or Transit van?

    Do you have a bank account or prefer to deal in Cash only?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,227 ✭✭✭Sam Mac


    Because you don't want to get involved in other peoples business. There would be very big feuds if that happened.

    This I don't get. Surely criminal activity in general would be reported, no? i.e. you see a traveller robbing someones car. You are saying you would not report it, because they are from the traveller community?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,157 ✭✭✭✭HugsiePie


    Hi TG,

    Please correct me if any information I have here is wrong, its just different things Ive picked up from various tv shows and the like.

    Why do travellers find breast feeding disgusting?
    Girls arent allowed to procreate outside of marraige, are boys?
    What would happen if a traveller girl who wasn't married was found out to be having sex?
    Do travellers use contraception?
    You mentioned you were bullied in school, may I ask what was said/done? I went to school with a few travellers and I apologise if this sounds rude but everyone would've been too scared to pick on any of the travellers (due to a reputation of violence among the travelling community), do you think your case was an isolated incident or would many travellers be bullied?
    How prevalent are drugs among the travelling community?
    Travellers are known to be very religious people; however violence and robbery is something strongly associated within the travelling community, things which the CC/the bible do not agree with, do you have any thoughts on this?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    Axel Lamp wrote: »
    Why don't you answer the tougher questions asked instead of cherry picking the nicer ones?

    There is no onus on anyone doing an AMA to answer every question. Just because you can ask doesnt mean the AMA-er has to answer.

    Some of the questions are obviously loaded and and buried in negative stereotyping.


  • Registered Users Posts: 723 ✭✭✭Luke92


    Axel Lamp wrote: »
    Why don't you answer the tougher questions asked instead of cherry picking the nicer ones?

    The questions that she is not answering are all about wealth and income, which she knows nothing about. If you don't believe her that's fine, but you can't force her to answer anything she doesn't want to. She is taking the time to do this AMA and some people should be more respectful of that!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,063 ✭✭✭Greenmachine


    Do you intend to answer all questions posed in this thread?
    What is your level of education and that of your partners?
    What jobs, or sources of income do you and your partner have?
    Aside from direct discrimination that some travelers experience, can you think of any disadvantages inherent with traveler lifestyle? What do you think can be done to eliminate these disadvantages while maintaining the key nomadic principles of travelers.
    What can other people learn from travelers?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,139 ✭✭✭flanzer


    Correct me if I'm wrong. Nothing has been answered in 30 mins. Have you gone to hire a PR firm?


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Axel Lamp wrote: »
    Why don't you answer the tougher questions asked instead of cherry picking the nicer ones?

    She already answered them on the Pavee Point Thread. Or tried to. And was ganged up on then just like now on this one. Then the thread turned to asking her about her life as a Traveller girl and she gave really great answers to those questions. That's why the AMA was suggested - to continue on from that discussion about females in the Travelling community.


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  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    flanzer wrote: »
    Correct me if I'm wrong. Nothing has been answered in 30 mins. Have you gone to hire a PR firm?

    Ay Jaysis, maybe she has more to be doing than answering questions from randomners on the internet 24/7!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,139 ✭✭✭flanzer


    Stheno wrote: »
    Ay Jaysis, maybe she has more to be doing than answering questions from randomners on the internet 24/7!

    I thought this thread was like 'an audience with'??? I found it on Twitter, and not browsing around here


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    flanzer wrote: »
    I thought this thread was like 'an audience with'??? I found it on Twitter, and not browsing around here

    It's an "ask me anything" there's no timelimit for the person doing the thread to answer questions, or indeed any requirement for them to answer the questions asked should they chose not to.

    Some of these threads run for days


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭hagoonabear


    hi travellergirl, I have worked in a funfair before and found the only people who actually had manners at these were travellers. they were all thanks miss, I seen the younger ones always say miss or mister it's cute but then saying I know of my cousin has two kids off a traveller and he is a prick. that's just him though, what I heard is traveller men are allowed to cheat as long as they never leave their misses.

    is that true for some


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,366 ✭✭✭keeponhurling


    So whatever the source of income, many travelers are very wealthy and doing well for themselves.

    Is the traveller culture to flaunt wealth in a kind of "fair play to them, they've done well" type of way?
    Or are they more respected if they are discreet with their wealth ?

    Do travelers really speak a different dialect/ language ?

    Why do so few travelers join the local GAA club ? But many are in the boxing club.

    Thanks for all the answers so far


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    Axel Lamp wrote: »
    She cherry picked the questions there too.

    Nowhere in the opening post was it identified that this AMA was specifically about females in the travelling community, the intro clearly states that it is about her life and her community.

    But people are allowed cherry pick questions on an AMA? She is not REQUIRED to answer everything asked. If you dont like it then dont read the AMA - simples.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 748 ✭✭✭Axel Lamp


    MrWalsh wrote: »
    But people are allowed cherry pick questions on an AMA? She is not REQUIRED to answer everything asked. If you dont like it then dont read the AMA - simples.


    I asked some questions so obviously I will be reading the AMA to see if they were answered.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,946 ✭✭✭MayoAreMagic


    Hi.
    Fair play for taking the time to answer a few questions. My one is this;

    We hear many stereotypes from people in the settled community, but I noticed in one answer you said 'a settled man could leave you at any time and no traveller man would look at you afterwards', so Im assuming that it is a stereotype that settled men leave their wives? Are there many stereotypes that travellers hold towards people in the settled community in general?


    Also, how did the term 'country people' come about? I find it sort of strange calling someone from say Dublin a country person!


  • Boards.ie Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Community Manager


    Closed for some editing - it'll be back shortly.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,840 ✭✭✭Dav


    Folks, lets make something *VERY* clear here.

    TravellerGirl can answer whatever questions she wants to however she wants to. That's how this forum and this AMA process works.

    This harassment about income is just that - harassment. No one can answer those sorts of questions about anyone except themselves and to be perfectly honest, it's no one's business but their own. TravellerGirl has already answered the question. It's done so move on.

    So that's it, I'm calling a halt to any more questions about finance or earnings or anything else. The question has already been answered and that's good enough for me. If I have to come back and make a similar warning about criminality and violence, there won't be warnings or infractions, there will be bans.

    This isn't some sort of excuse for harassment and attempting to dress it up as "we have a right to know" or anything of the sort will be met with a swift virtual kick in the arse off this forum.


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  • Boards.ie Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Community Manager


    Some off-topic and bickering posts have been removed.

    If anyone spots a post that they think is inappropriate, please report it rather than replying.

    This has the potential to be a really interesting AMA so thank you TravellerGirl for agreeing to do it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,981 ✭✭✭KomradeBishop


    I've heard of arranged marriages among travellers, where the girl has no real choice in the matter - how much truth is there to this?

    In what ways do prejudiced attitudes to women, manifest in the community?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    "Ask me Anything but it cant be anything forum"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,840 ✭✭✭Dav


    It says "Ask Me Anything" - it specifically does NOT say "I will Answer Anything."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 33,733 ✭✭✭✭Myrddin


    Is Shelta/Cant dying out, or is it still spoken?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 717 ✭✭✭rubberdiddies


    Dav wrote: »
    It says "Ask Me Anything" - it specifically does NOT say "I will Answer Anything."

    But you're censoring the questions being asked.

    Believe it or not these are the questions people would love answers to. But as always with travellers, some of whom I know very well and respect greatly, Political correctness takes over


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Dav wrote: »
    It says "Ask Me Anything" - it specifically does NOT say "I will Answer Anything."

    The point i'm making is of course its the persons prerogative to answer what they want,though threatening bans for users asking ANYTHING is a little bit of a contradiction on the purpose of the forum no?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    I want six myself but if I have more Iwould be happy. My parents only had 4 kids and my partner has nine siblings.

    How do you aim to support six children when many folk in Ireland today are struggling to raise two children?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,139 ✭✭✭westernfrenzy


    She's already answered the income questions though :confused:

    Anyway, do you want any kids you have to receive a full education?

    Sorry if that's been asked already.


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  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    But you're censoring the questions being asked.

    Believe it or not these are the questions people would love answers to. But as always with travellers, some of whom I know very well and respect greatly, P

    In all fairness, what would a traveller girl who is barely out of her teens know about how the males make their income, given that presumably they likely don't discuss that kind of thing in detail with their wife's or daughters?

    Why not ask her things that she CAN answer?


This discussion has been closed.
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