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Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

1…45679

Comments

  • #402
    junemay
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭junemay


    My understanding is the Commission of Inverstigation is in the process of being set up. At some stage, they will publish contact details and arrangements for those of us who want to contribute.


  • #403
    minnie10
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭minnie10


    Can anyone tell me if they were there in in 1975 from January to May or up to the 10th of May??
    a


  • #404
    survived
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭survived


    junemay wrote: »
    My understanding is the Commission of Inverstigation is in the process of being set up. At some stage, they will publish contact details and arrangements for those of us who want to contribute.

    Thats great maybe some closure at last


  • #405
    sheba99
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sheba99


    junemay wrote: »
    My understanding is the Commission of Investigation is in the process of being set up. At some stage, they will publish contact details and arrangements for those of us who want to contribute.

    Yes junemay is correct the commission of inquiry will publish details about submitting testimonials or giving evidence in private to the commission. I am the founder of Irish First Mothers on facebook, we have attended meetings with Minister Flanagan and more recently with Minister Reilly in relation to the commission of inquiry. Some of us are attending the Dail for the conclusion of the debate into the Terms of Reference of the inquiry on Wednesday. If there is any major news I will post here or if anyone would like to join our group on facebook just email firstmotherstogether at gmail.com The group is a private group, posts cannot be seen by anyone except those in the group and it is only for Irish women who had children sent for adoption.

    Kathy


  • #406
    junemay
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭junemay


    Thanks Kathy. Regarding discussion of the Terms of Reference I presume (and hope) that the inquiry will also be open to hearing evidence from those of us who were lucky enough to be able to keep their children and not just mothers whose babies were adopted. As the inquiry is into Mother and Baby Homes, the experiences of all of us should be included.


  • #407
    vinosol
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭vinosol


    survived wrote: »
    I was in dunboyne in 1980 and we had to put cello covers on greetin cards there was no assembly of games at that stage well not to my knowledge anyway .
    I was in Dunboyne from July 1980 until end of October .. my son was born in Holles street on the 19th of October. . I was continuously pestered by Sr . Regina to give my baby up for adoption. I travelled to the hospital with Ger Kelly in a taxi at midnight ..I remember him driving slowly through the phoenix park so as not to go over speed bumps too hard.. He was so kind to me. I spent the night on my own in labour and delivered my son at 7.15 am . I was put back in a ward with new mums with their babies and I wasn't allowed to have mine. I was so upset that they gave in and brought him to me . I was adamant I was keeping him until his daddy gave me an ultimatum .. sadly I choose him but asked if I could take my baby as I wasn't sure. I was visited by Sr. Cait who was very cross with me for changing my mind. I was brought back to the home and was with my son for 3 days up in an attic nursery.I was brought to the good room and made to speak with a priest and Sr. Regina who had disappeared for a while. I was told of the shame I had caused and the time I had wasted and how I would never be accepted back to my family for bringing shame on them. I was told I had no choice ànd my baby already had parents ready to give him a good home. I cared for my baby and cried myself to sleep each night. I had him christened there and called him Stuart Declan.. marguerite was his godmother.. she was so nice to me. I was broken the day they took him from me.. 2 of the nuns held me back when Regina took my baby.. I screamed and ran after her but the door was locked so I ran up more stairs and looked out a small window where I saw my baby in a ladys arms getting into a car... my mind is completely blank sine that day . I don't recall what happened or leaving that place. I did go to Dublin to sign some papers what I now believe to be the final papers but I was told I was to tell nobody what I was doing or it would all come out of the shame I had brought on myself and my family. How could I have been so nieve. ..


  • #408
    cc1976
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭cc1976


    Just read your post,I could have been reading my own story.The whole experience in the home was so traumatic,all we could do to survive day to day was blank things out.The guilt and shame we were made to feel was overwhelming.


  • #409
    sheba99
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sheba99


    My heart breaks when I read all the experiences and each story reads like it could have been anyone of ours. I am shocked that young women were still being pressurised as late as the late '90's to give their babies up. vinosol you can apply for your records under Freedom of Information in relation to your stay in Dunboyne and also from Hollis Street in relation to you pre and post natal care and the birth of your son. You should also have been given a copy of the legal document you signed in relation to the adoption. You can apply to the Adoption Authority of Ireland for that. If you need help or would like to chat in a private group search for Voice of Irish First Mothers on facebook or for me kathy McMahon on facebook. I have a sunset as my profile picture. You can also email firstmotherstogether @ gmail.com with some of your details for vetting purposes only and I will send you an invite to join the private group.

    Kathy


  • #410
    survived
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭survived


    vinosol wrote: »
    I was in Dunboyne from July 1980 until end of October .. my son was born in Holles street on the 19th of October. . I was continuously pestered by Sr . Regina to give my baby up for adoption. I travelled to the hospital with Ger Kelly in a taxi at midnight ..I remember him driving slowly through the phoenix park so as not to go over speed bumps too hard.. He was so kind to me. I spent the night on my own in labour and delivered my son at 7.15 am . I was put back in a ward with new mums with their babies and I wasn't allowed to have mine. I was so upset that they gave in and brought him to me . I was adamant I was keeping him until his daddy gave me an ultimatum .. sadly I choose him but asked if I could take my baby as I wasn't sure. I was visited by Sr. Cait who was very cross with me for changing my mind. I was brought back to the home and was with my son for 3 days up in an attic nursery.I was brought to the good room and made to speak with a priest and Sr. Regina who had disappeared for a while. I was told of the shame I had caused and the time I had wasted and how I would never be accepted back to my family for bringing shame on them. I was told I had no choice ànd my baby already had parents ready to give him a good home. I cared for my baby and cried myself to sleep each night. I had him christened there and called him Stuart Declan.. marguerite was his godmother.. she was so nice to me. I was broken the day they took him from me.. 2 of the nuns held me back when Regina took my baby.. I screamed and ran after her but the door was locked so I ran up more stairs and looked out a small window where I saw my baby in a ladys arms getting into a car... my mind is completely blank sine that day . I don't recall what happened or leaving that place. I did go to Dublin to sign some papers what I now believe to be the final papers but I was told I was to tell nobody what I was doing or it would all come out of the shame I had brought on myself and my family. How could I have been so nieve. ..

    I cant rem what date i went into the home i was in england with relations then one eve i was told i was goin to the airport and i was collected there by a family member and driven to the home it was late at night and so terrifing i was taken up to an attic room with another girl in who wasnt 2 happy to be disturbed late into the nite i couldnt breathe it was truly awful my heart is now pounding even writing this. my baby was adopted through a private adoption agency but up until the day before i was due to leave the hospital i was adement i wasnt letting her go she was so beautiful i had her for 5 days as i was very unwell and put into a rm on my own beside the nurses station most of the nurses were dreadful except one night nurse who used to let me sneak her into my room an i had her all night from the mon to the thurs on the thurs eve i rang the nuns who harressed me to have her adopted and i told them id sign the papers that day but not friday when they took her i couldnt believe they arrived at the hospital so fast. when they came on the fri they took her out of my arms and 1 bitch said do you want to say good bye to ur baby and walked off with her. a nurse held me back and brought me to the room i was in and pulled down the blinds not sure what they gave me think it was valium or something but i do rem i had to go bk to dublin within 6 wks to some awful pokey sol up a stairs somewhere on the quays and sign a paper i was also told i couldnt tell anyone it was for my babys own good. how brainwashed we all were. my daughter was 11lbs and i was given **** all pain relief and treated no better than something off a shoe i was on my own . I ll be writing for hours if i continue getting so wound up so ill stop tks for listening sorry for ranting


  • #411
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    I was in dunboyne March till May 1981.I remember the nuns Sr claire Regina and Ambrose don't remember any more. also remember Crissie and gwen who worked there. also all the lovely girls. You were known by you're first name then bur if there were two girls with the same first name the name was changed. also remember /gerry kelly the bus driver lovely man.


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  • #412
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    Chocolate wrote: »
    I'm from Dunboyne. The convent dog that I remember from my childhood was called Jacko.

    I was there in 1981 remember Jacko lovely dog ws Regina's dog I think


  • #413
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    Chocolate wrote: »
    I'm from Dunboyne. The convent dog that I remember from my childhood was called jacko


  • #414
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    I was in Dunboyne in 1981 remember the dog Jacko quite liked him Sr Regina's dog I think.


  • #415
    sheba99
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sheba99


    lilliemaie wrote: »
    I was in dunboyne March till May 1981.I remember the nuns Sr claire Regina and Ambrose don't remember any more. also remember Crissie and gwen who worked there. also all the lovely girls. You were known by you're first name then bur if there were two girls with the same first name the name was changed. also remember /gerry kelly the bus driver lovely man.

    If you would like to join Irish First Mothers lilliemaie feel free to send me an email with a few details so I can identify you to firstmotherstogether @ gmail . com Remove the spaces from the email address I have to post it like that as I am not permitted to post links here on boards. Anyone else who had their children taken from them are welcome to apply for membership also. In fact any woman who have had experiences in mother and baby homes are welcome to join.

    Kathy
    Irish First Mothers


  • #416
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    Hello Kathy thanks for me3ssage. I kept my baby did not intend to but changed my mind. Did not have any conflict with nuns my have bee because my own social worker at home had arranged fo my baby to go to nuns in my own county. Remember cards but not games. Have no real bad memories of the nuns remember one priest who was horibal to me don't remember his name was not on of the regular ones. but do not think I will ever go back to Dunboyne its a long time age but Still think of all the girls especially those who were so sad after giving up their baby's

    Good luck with you're good work
    lilliemaie


  • #417
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    Mazdoll wrote: »
    hi lilymay

    Hi Mazdoll


  • #418
    queeniee33
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭queeniee33


    helen k wrote: »
    hi i was in dunboyne from september 1988 and left in march 1989 .i remember sister anne and the husky dog was anybody there at tht time tht remembers helen k. i just found this site tonight and am shocked and intrigued by it all its 21 yrs since i was there and had a happy out come

    I was there at same time


  • #419
    mariecasey1
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭mariecasey1


    Hi
    I was in the convent from August to December 1988, i had a baby girl in holles street and kept her my parents and family wanted me to give her up but being adopted myself i was never going to let her go tbf the nuns never pressured me too and i found sr ann pretty fair in fact she layed the groundwork for me tracing my birth mother who i have met. i often think back to my time in dunboyne and i have good memories and sad memories i suppose mostly of people who i was so close too but never met again. I remember Chrissie she was great crack, and Ivan sr anns baby, i would love to chat on here with people from my time there


  • #420
    Geoff42
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Geoff42


    Hello all,

    Late joining but hopefully not too late. I was born in the national maternity hospital late 1973. I was wondering if there were any contacts there during this time. I am looking to track my BM.

    Many thanks


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  • #421
    Geoff42
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Geoff42


    Hello all,

    Late joining but hopefully not too late. I was born in the national maternity hospital late 1973. My BM stayed in the Dunboyne Convent and I was wondering if there were any contacts there during this time. I am looking to track my BM.

    Many thanks


  • #422
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    Geoff have you requested information from the Adoption Authority? If you know the agency involved in your adoption write directly to them and ask specific questions - ideas of questions are available on the tracing guides on this forum. once you have a bit of info you can start your search. The tracing guides are great.


  • #423
    sheba99
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sheba99


    Geoff42 wrote: »
    Hello all,

    Late joining but hopefully not too late. I was born in the national maternity hospital late 1973. My BM stayed in the Dunboyne Convent and I was wondering if there were any contacts there during this time. I am looking to track my BM.

    Many thanks

    The Adoption Right Alliance have tracing information and guides on their website as well as information about where to apply for your records. I can't post links because I am regarded as a new member on boards so check the ARA out on google and also they have a facebook group. Good luck with your search.


  • #424
    Hermy
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 11,421 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hermy


    The Trace Guides are also available in the sticky on the front page of the Adoption forum.

    Genealogy Forum Mod



  • #425
    carolann66
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭carolann66


    Very late joining this forum, I know. I was born in 1966 in Holles Street. My mother had been in Dunboyne. We reunited 20 years ago, but I live out of the country so don't get to see her much. I am very happy she is in my life, she is lovely. I don't know if her experience is rare, but she says that she was treated quite well in the home. She talks about having to make holy pictures out of x-rays in a basement. Does anyone else remember this? Also, she had me with her for three months after my birth, until I was adopted. She wanted to keep me but was advised heavily against it. C


  • #426
    sheba99
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sheba99


    carolann66 wrote: »
    Very late joining this forum, I know. I was born in 1966 in Holles Street. My mother had been in Dunboyne. We reunited 20 years ago, but I live out of the country so don't get to see her much. I am very happy she is in my life, she is lovely. I don't know if her experience is rare, but she says that she was treated quite well in the home. She talks about having to make holy pictures out of x-rays in a basement. Does anyone else remember this? Also, she had me with her for three months after my birth, until I was adopted. She wanted to keep me but was advised heavily against it. C

    I was there in 1974. I do not remember having to make pictures but some remember making rosary beads. I did not experience bad treatment as such but the very act of incarcerating us because we were pregnant outside marriage and forcing us to give our infants for adoption was abuse of our human and civil rights. We did not make informed decisions about adoption because we were not given choices. By 1974, as far as I am aware, babies were mostly taken from mothers in Holles Street Hospital and either given to the adopting family or places in infant homes until they were ready for adoption.


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  • #427
    Ann Marie 2
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭Ann Marie 2


    I was there from Dec 80- May 81,with a last minute change of heart my father gave permission for my baby to come home with me, she will be 35 in may and has two kids! I will never forget my time there... Met some lovely girls and heard some sad stories!


  • #428
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    One of our new posters who hasn't quite got the hang of how the Boards works- has just tried to post the following.

    Hope you're all had a good weekend-

    Shane
    blueroom90 wrote: »
    blueroom90 Me too after 25 years. I was there in 1990 from May to November. It brings back such memories for me. I stayed in the blue room and shared it with two others. Then moved to the cubicles when I got bigger. I remember cleaning that red corridor outside SR Anne's office. The dog Ivan. Chrissie and Etna that worked there. Sheila that gave us the ante natal classes. I also remember the money man coming on a Tuesday and giving is pocket money!! The visitors room that I cried so often in. The chapel was beautiful. The smokers room and the phone box that I waited everyday for a call, that phone box was under the stairs and we loved getting a call, everyone ringing asking for different names that never existed. The laundry washing outside in the room. You could just go there for a think. I too remember the prayers in the morning. The knitting and the envelopes in boxes. The big oak tree outside and wishing somebody would come and get me. The girls are what kept me going. The back stairs and we going to Holles street in the bus. Taken in the back door so nobody saw us. I remember being on phone duty and door duty in the convent. The first room to the left in the main door. We never used that entrance of course we used the side entrance. I never cried as much in that house before and after the birth. The girls standing waving me off. Such memories at 16 I will never forget. Rosemary


  • #429
    william kenny
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭william kenny


    Hello not sure how to start this I was in Dunboyne in 1965 I was there with my mother for two and a half years.I am in my 50's now I never got to meet my mam but I did meet her family It still hurt's to think of it now. It is hard for a man to admit he is hurting but I do need to talk to someone


  • #430
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    William, it might be an idea to contact the Adoption Rights Alliance. They may know of support groups across the country. I know there is one in Cork who meet regularly. I hope meeting your birth mum's family has been a positive experience for you.


  • #431
    Jessie64
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Jessie64


    To laura1968, I think I am the Siobhan Mary you referred to, as I was there from summer 84 to late Jan 85. I have some memory of the Place but I feel reading the posts it's very familiar and does not stir up many happy memories. My story does have a good ending as my daughter thanks to the indiscretion of my social worker gave all my details to her adoptive parents and her mum was able to keep tabs on me, she sent me a Facebook message nearly 10 yrs ago and we have kept in contact. I have been happily married and my husband knew the whole story and we told our children who now have a good relationship with their sister. 'Out of a negative situation came a good positive situation'
    I hope to hear from you Laura


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  • #432
    Jessie64
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Jessie64


    Laura1968 wrote: »
    I remember Kathy(?), but couldn't remember her name. I think I have worked in the same place as her since, but never felt I could approach her with work colleagues around. I had a great conversation with her on the typewriter on one of her first days. The nuns had given her some typing to do for them, and we continued on having a conversation using the typewriter, she'd type something, then I'd take it and answer. Pre internet form of instant messaging, I suppose :-)

    Yes, Bernie was the small, wiry girl from Galway. I think she only turned 14 after her baby was born. The Siobhan from Cork that I knew was gone before me, so don't think that is the Mary you're talking about, but if we already had a Siobhan and a Siobhan Mary when she arrived, then another variation would have to be found, I suppose.

    Was Helen the lady who had her own car, a small red one? I met her since. She had been adamant her baby was going for adoption. She was not a kid, like some of us, she was older, had a good job, and had leave of absence to "disappear", but would be resuming her life after the baby was born. I met her about 4 years later in Abbey street, her son was living with her, having never gone for adoption after all, despite going to foster care initially, and she was in touch with his Dad (he lived overseas) and they were happy.

    I remember packing the envelopes, but only very rarely. I can't understand how/why I wasn't doing that. I know school lessons were late afternoons and evenings after tea, as the teachers who come in to us taught in regular schools, and came to us out of hours as it were. I know I slipped on the concrete floor in the laundry when I heavily pregnant, and was carefully monitored by Sr Claire in case I might go into labour early, but all was well.

    Will write more later, need to go to work! :-)[/quote
    Hello Laura1968 I read your post and think I was there with you late 84 to Jan 85, hopefully you get this message


  • #433
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    Ann Marie 2 wrote: »
    I was there from Dec 80- May 81,with a last minute change of heart my father gave permission for my baby to come home with me, she will be 35 in may and has two kids! I will never forget my time there... Met some lovely girls and heard some sad stories!

    I was there from March till May 1981 Think I remember you were a small attractive blond or red haired girl I was known as Margaret have only logged in after a long time


  • #434
    carmelkelly
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭carmelkelly


    Hi amy ..my name is carmel ..i was known as cara ...in dunboyne from jan 87 to may 87


  • #435
    carmelkelly
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭carmelkelly


    Hi i think i was in dunboyne with u ..as i rember siobhan from cork and helen with the red car ..i was there from jan 87 till may 87 .my name was cara


  • #436
    carmelkelly
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭carmelkelly


    All sounds sooo familiar xx


  • #437
    carmelkelly
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭carmelkelly


    Hi amy ...i was there in jan till may 1987 my name was cara i was 16


  • #438
    carmelkelly
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭carmelkelly


    Hi i was in dunboyne from jan87 till may 87 .. my name was cara ... id love to hear from anyone that was there at that time x


  • #439
    shezzie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,626 ✭✭✭shezzie


    Anyone there July/76-feb77


  • #440
    nowanathiest
    Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭nowanathiest


    All of the discussions I have seen to date on this topic has been around Mothers/babies/nuns and priests.
    why is there no discussion of the Fathers of these children and their obligations to the women and society?


  • #441
    Jessie64
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Jessie64


    I think you are very right all you said but you must realise that many if the girls were sent by their parents who believed the NUNS were good and would look after their child, as we all now know that was not the case. The whole situation is horrible and has left many many girls scared physically and mentally for life


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  • #442
    Jessie64
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Jessie64


    Just wondering when were you in the Dunboyne Good Shepherd Convent ?


  • #443
    1982LOSTSOUL
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭1982LOSTSOUL


    my mother was in this home from jan to july 82, from what ive heard it was hell. we are very lucky to have each other. my mom fought to keep me and with the help of her father i got to say with her. i hope you get to meet your darling angel some day x


  • #444
    Nellan
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Nellan


    Hi there, I was there too on those same dates and remember stuffing the cards into envelopes & cellophane sleeves in a shed down the gardens someplace. Actually found the repetitive motion of this relaxing lol!! Otherwise I don't remember much. It was not a bad place and I was very happy to hide away from the trauma of being pregnant in those times as an unmarried mother. I met some nice girls. They usually 'disappeared' once giving birth in Holles Street and I never saw anyone bring any babies back to the home. I remember the TV room in the evenings and the lines of chairs with us sitting & some girls knitting for their babies to pass the time. Losing my baby to the circumstances of the time was horrific but Dunboyne was a safe recluse for me at a very very difficult & traumatic time


  • #445
    Claire9592
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Claire9592


    Try using 23andME! My dad has found his biological family through that. Msg me if you need further help or info.


  • #446
    wnut3
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭wnut3


    My birth mother was in the Good Shepard in Dunboyne in 1976. I was born in March 1976 in Holles St. She was from Donegal and her name was Margaret. I traced her many years ago through the adoption agency but for whatever reasons she doesnt want contact.
    After I traced her an aunt of my biological mother contacted me and we kept in touch until she died and I now keep in touch with this aunts daughter.
    My wonderful adoptive mother passed away a few weeks ago and it was my birthday a couple of days later and at the same time the Tuam babies were in the news. I felt a real pull. Can't describe it. But I remembered being told that my birth mother was in some place in Dunboyne. I Googled it and found this thread.
    I'm just back from Dunboyne castle hotel today were I walked into the side corridor of the original house and the "library" and found a very grand staircase leading to the top of the original house.
    I'm just wondering if anyone can give me an insight into how it was in 1976. Was there abuse? Were you all treated really badly?
    I know Ireland was such a different place at that time.
    And Im sorry if I'm opening any old wounds for any of you xx


  • #447
    RANIA
    Registered Users Posts: 99 ✭✭RANIA


    lilliemaie wrote: »
    I was there from March till May 1981 Think I remember you were a small attractive blond or red haired girl I was known as Margaret have only logged in after a long time

    Hi Lilliemaie do you remember Christina very small dark hair ? Gave birth in march 1980


  • #448
    TR1989
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭TR1989


    HI I was in Dunboyne in April May 1989 and I was happy to read all the previous posts as sometimes it feels like a dream. I remember Sr Anne who I thought was kind and the dog. I remember the TV room in the evenings as we sat there all of us not allowed to use our real names-I can't remember the one I had. I cleaned the toilets and peeled the potatoes and i was very home sick. I think they felt sorry for me and called my parents to take me home for a short break and didnt i go into labour at home and had to be taken into the local hospital by the back door so no one could see me and straight into a private room. I will never forget the way that the nurses looked at me when i arrived with nothing not even a bag for me or my baby. I felt so low. I was only 17 yrs and had a baby boy that i looked after for 3 days and then back home as if nothing happened. I went back to Dunboyne to collect my few things and felt so sorry for all the mothers as I knew by then what they were facing. I am 45yrs old now and have kept this information to myself other than my immediate family and feel like just telling people my story now and don't see the point in keeping this secret. i hope my son will contact me --not sure how i would go about trying to find him? i did put my details up on the adoption register but any other help that anyone can offer would be great? i wish all the mothers out there the very best and i am so happy that some have been reunited with their children it that was their wish....


  • #449
    TR1989
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭TR1989


    Hi

    i was there approx the same time as you April/May 1989. I never got any counselling and have kept all inside since. i am probably late replying now. Some things i can remember and others i can't -i think i buried it all in the back of my mind, but reading all of this is helping me remember it. I do remember the first room we were taken to with my parents and i felt so low. my son was 28yrs in May and every year i hope to hear from him but nothing yet but i live in hope. i told my husband before we married, but whenever we disagree on something or fall out-he reminds me of the fact that i gave my son away and that i have a 'past'. its hard enough to live with the sadness of giving up your son but to be reminded of it in a hurtful way is hard. i am so glad that some got to keep their babies and others have made contact -it gives me hope.....


  • #450
    lilliemaie
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭lilliemaie


    RANIA wrote: »
    Hi Lilliemaie do you remember Christina very small dark hair ? Gave birth in march 1980

    Hi RANA I was there 1981 not 1980 Christine but think it was Kristine sorry. o here from some Would like to get in touch with some one from my time. Did get one girl on facebook. Nice to here from you. Talk again.


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  • #451
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    Firstly so sorry your baby was taken from you - that is something your husband needs to realise and not treat the situation as if you chose to give him away. How dare he use it against you, to cause you further hurt. At some point I think you should sit down with him and calmly explain how horrible and disrespectful that is.

    Please look up the tracing guides on the sticky thread - finding your son can happen. My husband found his birth mum and I daresay lifted a huge weight from her shoulders. A weight she, like any birth mum, should not have had to carry or kept secret. You did nothing wrong xx

    TR1989 wrote: »
    Hi

    i was there approx the same time as you April/May 1989. I never got any counselling and have kept all inside since. i am probably late replying now. Some things i can remember and others i can't -i think i buried it all in the back of my mind, but reading all of this is helping me remember it. I do remember the first room we were taken to with my parents and i felt so low. my son was 28yrs in May and every year i hope to hear from him but nothing yet but i live in hope. i told my husband before we married, but whenever we disagree on something or fall out-he reminds me of the fact that i gave my son away and that i have a 'past'. its hard enough to live with the sadness of giving up your son but to be reminded of it in a hurtful way is hard. i am so glad that some got to keep their babies and others have made contact -it gives me hope.....


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