Potential issue with priest

username000 wrote: »

No idea what youre talking about, perhaps your own paranoia is a reflection of something you see in yourself.

Hmmmm, indeed.

username000 wrote: »

It comes off as shallow at best and racist at worst.

Why didnt you just make your accusation from the get go instead of beating around the bush, it helps people look less foolish. To those that were questioning where the insinuation was, you happy now? Ive been around boards long enough that I can smell re-reg wind up merchants a mile off, this one stinks.

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

I got married abroad and me and my family had zero understanding of what the priest was saying but catholic masses are all repeats and no one had a problem with it. I was also at a wedding of a family member in Roscommon where the priest is from Africa ( no idea specifically where) and does mass in a really think accent. He also did a relatives funeral. I have no idea what he said but everyone local says hes a lovely fella and everyone seem to just accept him, and we are talking proper Roscommon country folk which surprised me as I was expecting some grumbles from the haters but there was none.

also, sounds like this isn't your parish, in fact, sounds like its neither of your parish?

Im from the country, fiance has not lived in her "home" parish in over 8 years so we dont have a priest that either of us know well.

Meathlass wrote: »

If the wedding ceremony is so important to you and your partner then presumably you have your own priest that you go to every Sunday who can officiate?

Yes, of course. Whether we go to mass 5 times a week or once a year is irrelevant, if we have trouble understanding the celebrant then thats potentially an issue. Great post by the way, would definitely read again.

Sherlof3 wrote: »

Hi there - totally appreciate your concerns and it is a tricky situation - I would agree that sensitively approach it with the parish secretary and then if there's no leeway then have a think about bringing your own priest.

Good luck!

Thanks, we have kind of decided what we are going to do.

fits wrote: »

Hmm I think its a bit off tbh. If he can say a mass why can't he do a wedding ceremony? They really are all the same so I don't see why it matters so much. I agree it could just as easily be a mumbler. This is sort of the deal with the rcc. You take what you are given. My sister had a lad with severe mental issues and we were terrified he'd go off on one, but we couldn't ask the curate to do it as the pp had the say.

I work in an international environment and have to consciously moderate my accent and modify my language and would be very upset if at the receiving end of something like this. I'm also very accepting of all the colours of the rainbow where accents are concerned.

There is no debating that he can say a mass or perform a wedding ceremony. The issue that we are concerned about is that we do not want to have to strain to hear/understand what he is saying.

You have said that you consciously make an effort to be understood clearly by moderating your language, so its too much to ask that we would want a priest that we can clearly understand?

Bit of a contradiction imo but thanks for the input.

Dolbert wrote: »

This does strike me as being quite bride/groomzilla-ish, as though the problem is that the priest's accent doesn't 'fit' with the wedding Sorry.

No need to apologise, its something we are concerned about ie coming across as precious. We just want everything to go as flawlessly as possible, not too much to ask I would have thought.

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

You don't get to chose the priest if its not your own parish, and even then its at the parish priests discretion.

Cheers, we kinda figured as much.

username000 wrote: »

Personally if I was the secretary I would not entertain someone requesting a different priest because the originally assigned one had the "wrong" accent.

Wow, great post, would definitely read again, thanks so much for coming.

seventeen sheep wrote: »

I reckon try to attend a couple of masses said by the other priests in the church. Decide on one you'd like. Then ring the secretary raving about how impressed you were with his sermon, and is there any way at all he might be able to do your wedding, as you feel it would make the ceremony so much more special. That way you're not being in any way negative about the original priest.

I think your concern is perfectly valid, by the way.

We have been to mass a number of times with one of the priests thats there, we have spoken to him a few times, it was him that we first went to after we got engaged. We got on well with him and liked him but based on what others have said, it may not be an option to specify as there is no real "connection" there.

cactusgal wrote: »

I don't really have much more advice to add Op, but I do understand your concern. I'm not Irish and have to modify my accent at times to make myself understood, and I also work in a very international environment, so I'm dealing with different accents all the time.

But, one of the priests at my parents' church was extremely hard to understand, and mass (the homily) was very hard to follow. He was very fluent, but his pronunciation wasn't great, so although he had a great vocabulary and had perfect grammar, his pronunciation really held him back. I'd not want him to do my wedding mass for that reason, so I understand where you're coming from.

Thanks for the input. The priest has fluent english and perfect vocabulary, its just that its a very thick accent.

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Interesting reaction. Can I suggest that if you are worried about being offensive, maybe try not to start off in defensive mode.

Wow, fantastic post, thanks for sharing, would definitely read again.

Mods, I think we are done here so if you would be so kind as to stick a fork in the thread please.

We have decided that we are going to attend at least one more mass by the priest and decide after that what to do but the gut feeling is that we are going to stick with him and hope for the best.

Thanks to those that actually tried to add something to the thread.

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

I wonder how often the parish secretary has had a variation of this conversation. I'd imagine a fair number of brides and grooms have 'had a quiet word' due to their drawing of the short straw. Wonder how many different versions of the reasoning why this priest isn't right for them has she heard.

We've wondered that ourselves tbh. I genuinely feel bad for thinking about asking for a change but like I said in a previous post, we want it to go as smoothly as possible and we do want to be fully able to understand what he is saying.

Can you imagine if either of us had to ask him to repeat something that we didn't catch or couldn't make out?