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would you confront your child for watching porn??

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Comments

  • #32
    IspeakcozIcan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭IspeakcozIcan


    It's interesting you are all talking about sons...

    When I was a teenager living at home and watching porn (I'm a girl) , it was safe in the knowledge that if it was found in the browser history my brother would get all the blame/credit.

    The Benefits of stereotypes!

    I'd be interested to know what the dad's would say if they found it in their daughter's laptop!


  • #33
    K4t
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,362 ✭✭✭K4t


    Only if they were paying for it.


  • #34
    bodice ripper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    K4t wrote: »
    Only if they were paying for it.


    mug's game


  • #35
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    Robsweezie wrote: »
    obviously if its an eight year old then words should be had, but what about a teenager? if you found it on their laptop or a porn mag would you carry on and pretend you didn't see or confront them directly? is that really a conversation you are prepared to have?

    ''johnny. don't be googling that thai lady boy filth, they're not real women you know!''

    I guess it would depend on whether or not I've been a responsible parent and ensured I've properly educated my child on sex and related matters, including porn and porn use.

    And what site they were using. I can probably point them to all the good ones...


  • #36
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    As a parent isn't it your job to ensure that he/she does know the difference between fantasy and reality?

    They mightn't be able to figure that out on their own with a parent who prefers to not bother talk about things.

    Who says I wouldn't bother to talk about things? Bit of a leap there to be honest. Just because I wouldn't confront a teenager about viewing porn doesn't mean said teenager didn't have the sex talk at the appropriate age.

    If a teenager doesn't know the difference between fantasy and reality at that age then there would most definitely be something wrong. Hence why I said that provided they know this difference, I'd have no problem with them looking at porn. Pretty straightforward.


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  • #37
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'd absolutely be having the chat about real/not real, about the fact that the women in porn are actresses who get paid to do what they do, I'd be letting my son know that he shouldn't expect girls that he's having sex with to do the things he sees in porn.

    I'd be letting any daughter of mine know that the same thing, that it's fantasy, and that she should never ever feel pressured to conform to these fantasies.

    I'd be letting them know this whether or not I caught them watching porn because it's my responsibility as a parent to do so. I would also hope that I would have such a relationship that my children would feel comfortable enough to talk to me about sex so that if there was anything they were worried about they would know where to turn.


  • #38
    otto_26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    seventeen sheep wrote: »
    God no. I actually think it's probably a little unusual for a teenage boy to have no interest in porn.

    Obviously I wouldn't want to know about it, and I certainly wouldn't go looking for evidence! But if I did "come across" something (heh) I'd turn a blind eye.

    And a teenage girl!!


  • #39
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Jaxxy wrote: »
    Who says I wouldn't bother to talk about things? Bit of a leap there to be honest. Just because I wouldn't confront a teenager about viewing porn doesn't mean said teenager didn't have the sex talk at the appropriate age.

    You didn't mention it so from your post it seemed like this knowledge of what is fantasy and what is reality would come just out of the blue.

    I'm interested though - what age would you have the talk and at what age would you think it's ok for your hypothetical son to watch porn?


  • #40
    K4t
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,362 ✭✭✭K4t


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I'd absolutely be having the chat about real/not real, about the fact that the women in porn are actresses who get paid to do what they do
    The men are actors who are paid too.
    I'd be letting my son know that he shouldn't expect girls that he's having sex with to do the things he sees in porn
    .
    Nothing wrong with being optimistic..


  • #41
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    When my kid is a teenager, I'd definitely ignore any porn of his I found unless it was so obviously fcucked up stuff that I'd have to have a word.


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  • #42
    hmmm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,192 ✭✭✭✭hmmm


    I'd like to hope I'd "have a word", but to be honest it wouldn't bother me if I couldn't work up the courage & turned a blind eye. The only thing I'd find unnatural about porn is someone telling their child it is somehow "dirty" or "shameful" and making them ashamed and confused about what is a natural part of growing up.


  • #43
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    You didn't mention it so from your post it seemed like this knowledge of what is fantasy and what is reality would come just out of the blue.

    I've been pretty vocal in the past in AH with regard to my view of porn. I took the bother of actually looking up some of the past threads wherein I made clear how I feel about it. My initial post may have seemed a bit blasé, or curt, which might have caused you to pick me out from the crowd. In essence, I was just answering the question put forth in the title. Since you're looking for some elaboration, here you go:
    Jaxxy wrote: »
    Sexual curiosity is a normal thing. Teens need to be educated, not dismissed and told "NO! THAT'S DIRTY!"
    Jaxxy wrote: »
    I never said carte blanche, I said educate. Porn isn't an acceptable method for sex education. I'm talking about discussing it. Realistically porn teaches you little about the actual act of regular sex. Realism vs fantasy should be discussed with teens, in all aspects of life, not just pertaining to sex.
    Jaxxy wrote: »
    I agree, it is a very personal journey. Doesn't mean I won't try to arm any Jaxxy Juniors with as much information as I possibly can though. ;)

    Look, there are things out there that you're never going to want your teen to see. But chances are, they're going to see it at some stage. As long as they know the difference between real-life and imaginary porno world I think I'd be pleased enough.

    And it's not just porn that exposes them to a new world, they're a constant source of information for each other too.

    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I'm interested though - what age would you have the talk and at what age would you think it's ok for your hypothetical son to watch porn?

    There is no definitive answer to that question. Different children develop mentally and emotionally at different ages, so it would have to be decided on a case by case basis. For what it's worth, I was ten when I received the talk, and my folks were right on the money when gauging my maturity.


  • #44
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    legomaniac wrote: »
    I wonder how the same dad's would react if it was their teenage daughter watching a bit of porn? ;)

    I caught my dad watching porn, I said it to my mam and she said he found my vibrator so we're even :(


  • #45
    petrolcan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 898 ✭✭✭petrolcan


    Trigger Happy wrote: »
    Lucky sod - having playboy. We had to make do with an underwear catalogue. :(

    Ah, the Damart education.


  • #46
    bb1234567
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,513 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    If they were under 14 and looking at graphic content like that on the internet Id be having some stern words with them. They're not ready for that . But when they're 15+ they're hormonal and probably need it...I suppose I wouldn't be happy they were looking at it but its better than the alternative, them trying to go off and get laid...


  • #47
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    I'd probably do what a previous poster said and explain to him that sex in real life is different to what's portrayed on porn sites.


  • #48
    ireland.man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,080 ✭✭✭ireland.man


    "Well if I caught my son watching bdsm porn, I'd be annoyed but I definitely wouldn't slap him."


  • #49
    FloatingVoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    Only if it was one of the ones I featured in.


  • #50
    Saralee4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,077 ✭✭✭Saralee4


    Sheep Lover wrote: »
    I had to make do with impure thoughts about my female relatives

    Is that what made you turn to sheep in the end? :D


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