would you confront your child for watching porn??

Robsweezie

obviously if its an eight year old then words should be had, but what about a teenager? if you found it on their laptop or a porn mag would you carry on and pretend you didn't see or confront them directly? is that really a conversation you are prepared to have?

''johnny. don't be googling that thai lady boy filth, they're not real women you know!''

DamagedTrax

i did with my teen a few years back.

all i could do was have the chat and explain to him the differences between porn and sex.

and advise him to stay clear of skanky porn! (truth).

seventeen sheep

God no. I actually think it's probably a little unusual for a teenage boy to have no interest in porn.

Obviously I wouldn't want to know about it, and I certainly wouldn't go looking for evidence! But if I did "come across" something (heh) I'd turn a blind eye.

Menas

seventeen sheep wrote: »

God no. I actually think it's probably a little unusual for a teenage boy to have no interest in porn.

Obviously I wouldn't want to know about it, and I certainly wouldn't go looking for evidence! But if I did "come across" something (heh) I'd turn a blind eye.

But what if he was in to the real mad ****....you know...THAT stuff?

Jaxxy

No, why would I do that? Nothing wrong with watching porn, IMO. As long as they know the difference between fantasy and reality, then there's no problem.

DamagedTrax

Trigger Happy wrote: »

But what if he was in to the real mad ****....you know...THAT stuff?

thats exactly why i had the chat.

he was always gonna discover porn so i'd rather he at least look at stuff thats not overly aggressive towards the women.

there's no perfect outcome but as a parent we can limit the damage.

suicide_circus

"Right young man, I'm gonna sit here and watch you all the porn on the Internet!"

"Thats a little creepy dad"

NachoBusiness

Robsweezie wrote: »

..thai lady boy filth, they're not real women you know..

Oh oh, now you've gone and done it.

Woop woop, that's the sound of da PC police.

poisonated

No. I'd probably bring it up in conversation and just say something so the person would get the idea that not all women are into that kinky sorta stuff. But I would go about it with a certain amount of stealth.

emersyn

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Oh oh, now you've gone and done it.

Woop woop, that's the sound of da PC police.

We're calling people who understand that trans women are actually in fact real women the "PC police" now? Wow, edgy. Feck off & take your superiority complex with you

Oasis1974

DamagedTrax wrote: »

i did with my teen a few years back.

all i could do was have the chat and explain to him the differences between porn and sex.

and advise him to stay clear of skanky porn! (truth).

When you say explain the difference you mean what? Porn and sex are pretty much the same.

Sheep Lover

emersyn wrote: »

We're calling people who understand that trans women are actually in fact real women the "PC police" now? Wow, edgy. Feck off & take your superiority complex with you

Are transgender people either gender?

I thought they were transgender?

emersyn

Sheep Lover wrote: »

Are transgender people either gender?

I thought they were transgender?

I don't understand what you're asking

caustic 1

Trigger Happy wrote: »

But what if he was in to the real mad ****....you know...THAT stuff?

Just how did you find out about THAT stuff?
What is THAT stuff?

Personally I think it's a case of if you are told don't push the red button and all you want to do is push the red button.
Teenagers are going to be curious, but I think if they have had the right upbringing they will know where the boundaries are and what's acceptable or not. If you think that when they get a moment to themselves they are only going to look at nice stuff then I think you could be in for a shock.

Agricola

I'd sit him down and say "Son, you're now a man. Welcome to Porn Club. First rule of Porn Club is: You do not talk about Porn Club."

Benteke

Ir depends if it's good stuff i might take a look myself

duckman!!

Oyva bigwan wrote: »

If I caught my son watching porn I'd give him a high five

If it was gay porn I'd give him
A slap in the back of the head

...........gets popcorn!!

Raging_Ninja

My dad caught me with a playboy and roared laughing. Was so embarrassing i threw it out shortly after.

Custardpi

Oyva bigwan wrote: »

If I caught my son watching porn I'd give him a high five

You should maybe get him to wash his hands first!

bodice ripper

no one has daughters, no?

smash

Ask them for some good links...

Menas

Raging_Ninja wrote: »

My dad caught me with a playboy and roared laughing. Was so embarrassing i threw it out shortly after.

Lucky sod - having playboy. We had to make do with an underwear catalogue.

Raging_Ninja

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Lucky sod - having playboy. We had to make do with an underwear catalogue.

Those are the best.

Sheep Lover

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Lucky sod - having playboy. We had to make do with an underwear catalogue.

I had to make do with impure thoughts about my female relatives

legomaniac

I wonder how the same dad's would react if it was their teenage daughter watching a bit of porn?

Oyva bigwan

Custardpi wrote: »

You should maybe get him to wash his hands first!

Scratch that high five Pat on the back instead

DamagedTrax

Oasis1974 wrote: »

When you say explain the difference you mean what? Porn and sex are pretty much the same.

one is onscreen prostitution and the other isnt. how is that the same?

dont get me wrong, im a porn afficiado, i could recognise most female porn stars by face... i just know that sex and porn are two very different sides of the same coin.

AnonoBoy

Jaxxy wrote: »

No, why would I do that? Nothing wrong with watching porn, IMO. As long as they know the difference between fantasy and reality, then there's no problem.

As a parent isn't it your job to ensure that he/she does know the difference between fantasy and reality?

They mightn't be able to figure that out on their own with a parent who prefers to not bother talk about things.

Oasis1974 wrote: »

When you say explain the difference you mean what? Porn and sex are pretty much the same.

Spoken like someone who has very limited experience of one and far too much experience of the other.

Raging_Ninja

legomaniac wrote: »

I wonder how the same dad's would react if it was their teenage daughter watching a bit of porn?

Caught her watching a nude scene in some film, same thing happened. She was even more embarrassed than me.

gizmo555

Didn't go well for this family - God help them . . .

A 12-year-old Russian girl has taken her own life after her parents discovered she had been watching pornography.

Named only as Dasha L by police, the girl reportedly leapt from the window of the 14th floor family flat in St Petersburg following an argument with her parents about what they had found on her personal computer.

Life News reported that the family had not been involved with the police before. A police official told the Russian news site: "This is a well-to-do family”

“There is an ongoing investigation. We aren't excluding the possibility of bringing up charges on inciting a suicide,” they added.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/russian-girl-takes-her-own-life-after-parents-find-pornography-on-her-computer-10010312.html

Custardpi

legomaniac wrote: »

I wonder how the same dad's would react if it was their teenage daughter watching a bit of porn?

Probably this reaction

IspeakcozIcan

It's interesting you are all talking about sons...

When I was a teenager living at home and watching porn (I'm a girl) , it was safe in the knowledge that if it was found in the browser history my brother would get all the blame/credit.

The Benefits of stereotypes!

I'd be interested to know what the dad's would say if they found it in their daughter's laptop!

K4t

Only if they were paying for it.

bodice ripper

K4t wrote: »

Only if they were paying for it.

mug's game

floggg

Robsweezie wrote: »

obviously if its an eight year old then words should be had, but what about a teenager? if you found it on their laptop or a porn mag would you carry on and pretend you didn't see or confront them directly? is that really a conversation you are prepared to have?

''johnny. don't be googling that thai lady boy filth, they're not real women you know!''

I guess it would depend on whether or not I've been a responsible parent and ensured I've properly educated my child on sex and related matters, including porn and porn use.

And what site they were using. I can probably point them to all the good ones...

Jaxxy

AnonoBoy wrote: »

As a parent isn't it your job to ensure that he/she does know the difference between fantasy and reality?

They mightn't be able to figure that out on their own with a parent who prefers to not bother talk about things.

Who says I wouldn't bother to talk about things? Bit of a leap there to be honest. Just because I wouldn't confront a teenager about viewing porn doesn't mean said teenager didn't have the sex talk at the appropriate age.

If a teenager doesn't know the difference between fantasy and reality at that age then there would most definitely be something wrong. Hence why I said that provided they know this difference, I'd have no problem with them looking at porn. Pretty straightforward.

I'd absolutely be having the chat about real/not real, about the fact that the women in porn are actresses who get paid to do what they do, I'd be letting my son know that he shouldn't expect girls that he's having sex with to do the things he sees in porn.

I'd be letting any daughter of mine know that the same thing, that it's fantasy, and that she should never ever feel pressured to conform to these fantasies.

I'd be letting them know this whether or not I caught them watching porn because it's my responsibility as a parent to do so. I would also hope that I would have such a relationship that my children would feel comfortable enough to talk to me about sex so that if there was anything they were worried about they would know where to turn.

otto_26

seventeen sheep wrote: »

God no. I actually think it's probably a little unusual for a teenage boy to have no interest in porn.

Obviously I wouldn't want to know about it, and I certainly wouldn't go looking for evidence! But if I did "come across" something (heh) I'd turn a blind eye.

And a teenage girl!!

AnonoBoy

Jaxxy wrote: »

Who says I wouldn't bother to talk about things? Bit of a leap there to be honest. Just because I wouldn't confront a teenager about viewing porn doesn't mean said teenager didn't have the sex talk at the appropriate age.

You didn't mention it so from your post it seemed like this knowledge of what is fantasy and what is reality would come just out of the blue.

I'm interested though - what age would you have the talk and at what age would you think it's ok for your hypothetical son to watch porn?

K4t

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd absolutely be having the chat about real/not real, about the fact that the women in porn are actresses who get paid to do what they do

The men are actors who are paid too.

I'd be letting my son know that he shouldn't expect girls that he's having sex with to do the things he sees in porn
.

Nothing wrong with being optimistic..

anncoates

When my kid is a teenager, I'd definitely ignore any porn of his I found unless it was so obviously fcucked up stuff that I'd have to have a word.

hmmm

I'd like to hope I'd "have a word", but to be honest it wouldn't bother me if I couldn't work up the courage & turned a blind eye. The only thing I'd find unnatural about porn is someone telling their child it is somehow "dirty" or "shameful" and making them ashamed and confused about what is a natural part of growing up.

Jaxxy

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You didn't mention it so from your post it seemed like this knowledge of what is fantasy and what is reality would come just out of the blue.

I've been pretty vocal in the past in AH with regard to my view of porn. I took the bother of actually looking up some of the past threads wherein I made clear how I feel about it. My initial post may have seemed a bit blasé, or curt, which might have caused you to pick me out from the crowd. In essence, I was just answering the question put forth in the title. Since you're looking for some elaboration, here you go:

Jaxxy wrote: »

Sexual curiosity is a normal thing. Teens need to be educated, not dismissed and told "NO! THAT'S DIRTY!"

Jaxxy wrote: »

I never said carte blanche, I said educate. Porn isn't an acceptable method for sex education. I'm talking about discussing it. Realistically porn teaches you little about the actual act of regular sex. Realism vs fantasy should be discussed with teens, in all aspects of life, not just pertaining to sex.

Jaxxy wrote: »

I agree, it is a very personal journey. Doesn't mean I won't try to arm any Jaxxy Juniors with as much information as I possibly can though.

Look, there are things out there that you're never going to want your teen to see. But chances are, they're going to see it at some stage. As long as they know the difference between real-life and imaginary porno world I think I'd be pleased enough.

And it's not just porn that exposes them to a new world, they're a constant source of information for each other too.

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I'm interested though - what age would you have the talk and at what age would you think it's ok for your hypothetical son to watch porn?

There is no definitive answer to that question. Different children develop mentally and emotionally at different ages, so it would have to be decided on a case by case basis. For what it's worth, I was ten when I received the talk, and my folks were right on the money when gauging my maturity.

Ihatecuddles

legomaniac wrote: »

I wonder how the same dad's would react if it was their teenage daughter watching a bit of porn?

I caught my dad watching porn, I said it to my mam and she said he found my vibrator so we're even

petrolcan

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Lucky sod - having playboy. We had to make do with an underwear catalogue.

Ah, the Damart education.

bb1234567

If they were under 14 and looking at graphic content like that on the internet Id be having some stern words with them. They're not ready for that . But when they're 15+ they're hormonal and probably need it...I suppose I wouldn't be happy they were looking at it but its better than the alternative, them trying to go off and get laid...

pragmatic1

I'd probably do what a previous poster said and explain to him that sex in real life is different to what's portrayed on porn sites.

ireland.man

"Well if I caught my son watching bdsm porn, I'd be annoyed but I definitely wouldn't slap him."

FloatingVoter

Only if it was one of the ones I featured in.

Saralee4

Sheep Lover wrote: »

I had to make do with impure thoughts about my female relatives

Is that what made you turn to sheep in the end?