How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1

Conall Cernach · 09-01-2015 02:47PM

A wedding I was at not too long ago the bride and groom did a really sleazy dirty dancing type thing for their "first dance". This included him lifting her up while hitching her dress up so that we could all see her arse (she was wearing a thong) and turning around just make sure we all got a good eyeful. Thanks be to Christ I'm not one of their teenaged children.

Rose35 · 09-01-2015 02:47PM

I will make sure it is worded correctly so people won't get confused and think our two year old is getting married.

who the fug · 09-01-2015 02:47PM

iDave wrote: »

Judging by this thread there's nothing I can do to keep everyone happy at my wedding.

AK4747 when you absolutely positively have to make everyone have a good time

LynnGrace · 09-01-2015 02:51PM

Conall Cernach wrote: »

A wedding I was at not too long ago the bride and groom did a really sleazy dirty dancing type thing for their "first dance". This included him lifting her up while hitching her dress up so that we could all see her arse (she was wearing a thong) and turning around just make sure we all got a good eyeful. Thanks be to Christ I'm not one of their teenaged children.

:eek:

kunst nugget · 09-01-2015 02:55PM

Conall Cernach wrote: »

Thanks be to Christ I'm not one of their teenaged children.

That line made me die a little inside…

folan · 09-01-2015 02:56PM

irelandrover wrote: »

Because your child is not getting married.

the wedding is what people are being invited to.

Roses family (the groom, child and bride) are inviting people.

kunst nugget · 09-01-2015 03:01PM

folan wrote: »

the wedding is what people are being invited to.

Roses family (the groom, child and bride) are inviting people.

It kind of depends on what way you're wording it tbh but personally I think it's unnecessary and if you're going along the 'Little Jack would like to invite you to his mammy and daddy's wedding' it's going to make most people cringe when they read it.

I remember seeing a wedding booklet where the couple told the story of how the met. Unless it was whilst dismantling a live nuclear warhead, no one is going to give a shít - doubly so if it was over your mutual appreciation of CSI DVD boxsets.

whiskeyman · 09-01-2015 03:02PM

Here's some more:

When booking a venue, don't factor how guest are going to get a drink from the tiny bar in the corner. It's not as if many people drink at a wedding, and who cares if it doesnt serve any of the popular beers / wines...

Spend lavish amounts of money and time on a mass scroll for the 'order of events' that doesn't actually have any of the prayers etc... They most likely have never been to a wedding before and will need this information, and they'll be sure to bring them home and cherish them forever.

Book a venue with far too few rooms to cater for your guests, with very limited local accommodation available. Guests see this as a challenge, and enjoy wasting hours of time searching for somewhere nearby and cheap.

When asking many guests to travel a long distance, be sure to go on about the night before the wedding antics / meal / drinks that you didn't invite anyone else to but your close friends and family. The rest of the wedding party don't matter for such an occasion.

Don't thank guests for travelling long distances for your big day. They are honoured to be there and want to hear you gush about your wedding only!

If there's a big game on, give strict instructions to the bar staff in the adjoining bar to the wedding room that the TV must be off at all times.

The next day, be sure you stay in bed late and don't bother saying hello or goodbye to any of your guests, especially those who travelled hundreds of miles to wish you well and spend a fortune to attend your big day. They know it's best you enjoy your first hangover together.

Rose35 · 09-01-2015 03:12PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

It kind of depends on what way you're wording it tbh but personally I think it's unnecessary and if you're going along the 'Little Jack would like to invite you to his mammy and daddy's wedding' it's going to make most people cringe when they read it.

I remember seeing a wedding booklet where the couple told the story of how the met. Unless it was whilst dismantling a live nuclear warhead, no one is going to give a shít - doubly so if it was over your mutual appreciation of CSI DVD boxsets.

More along the lines of MS ROSE AND MR ROSE TOGETHER WITH THEIR SON ROSE JR ......
That's what im thinking not that rose jr is doing the inviting as such

09-01-2015 03:13PM

Asking guests to check out your wedding website maryandjohnwedding.com
with the fields:

How they met
The Proposal
The Wedding Party
The Venue

* 76 days until the big day!

cactusgal · 09-01-2015 03:17PM

Not sending thank you cards is a big one for me. It annoys me if people don't bother sending them to me if I've given a gift, but I really gets me when my parents give generous wedding gifts (they can never attend bc my mother is very ill) and people don't bother their h@les sending a simple message of thanks. Self absorption of the highest order in my book!!!

ABajaninCork · 09-01-2015 03:36PM

cactusgal wrote: »

Not sending thank you cards is a big one for me. It annoys me if people don't bother sending them to me if I've given a gift, but I really gets me when my parents give generous wedding gifts (they can never attend bc my mother is very ill) and people don't bother their h@les sending a simple message of thanks. Self absorption of the highest order in my book!!!

Yup. That's a huge one with me too. I don't understand the custom of sending the TY cards (if you get one at all) anything up to a year after the event. What's up with that?

That tells me that the B & G think only their time is valuable. The guests' time and money don't matter afterwards...

lazygal · 09-01-2015 03:46PM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Yup. That's a huge one with me too. I don't understand the custom of sending the TY cards (if you get one at all) anything up to a year after the event. What's up with that? That tells me that the B & G think only their time is valuable. The guests' time and money don't matter afterwards...

Yep, had this one on my list upthread. I can't believe how many couples think its ok to think a thank you in a speech counts as a proper thanks, when people have spent money and time giving them a gift.

mrolaf · 09-01-2015 04:18PM

Ask for only money as girts

mrolaf · 09-01-2015 04:18PM

ensure no one sits beside people they know

Toots · 09-01-2015 04:22PM

Toots wrote: »

Let's try to keep the thread argument-free. Different people have different likes/dislikes, so please respect that and don't get argumentative on thread.

Just a reminder of what I said previously, because it looks like a few posters either didn't read it, or did read it and chose to ignore it.

Going forward, anyone who posts in an aggressive/argumentative/mocking/bitchy tone will be carded. There are plenty of ways to express opinions without being a dick about it.

Statements like "Sweet carts are gimmicky and tacky." "Couples who have weddings abroad are just selfish." are argumentative and will most likely offend some other posters. "I don't like sweet carts, I think they look tacky." etc is fine, it's your opinion, but don't get into an argument with other posters about what they had/are having at their weddings.

This thread started out in a light hearted non-serious tone, but as threads like this often do, it's got the potential to become a thread for people to sneer at others, so if posters can't play nice I'm locking the thread.

bjork · 09-01-2015 04:23PM

mrolaf wrote: »

ensure no one sits beside people they know

Name tags on the plates - I'm not 5

Frog Song · 09-01-2015 04:27PM

I was at a wedding where the bride was vegetarian and she got a different meal to the other vegetarian guests...she knew nothing about it until someone mentioned it a few weeks after. She presumed they were given the same as her and was annoyed when she found out so it's not always the Bride & Groom's doing when menu issues like that happen.

BKWDR · 09-01-2015 04:35PM

Is the B&G eating something they want that is not what everyone else is eating such a deal breaker?

Thoughts of people eye balling the top table and sneering, which never happens. If that's what ruined someones or annoyed you, why bother go to a wedding?!?

Where this thread has been funny for the most part, i often do wonder why some people go to weddings at all. Like i had a poke at the Corinthians reading, because it's nearly at all weddings and people can relate. But i'm there as the B&G's friend or because i want to be there. I enjoy having the craic and sure weddings are all very similar when it comes down to it but feck it i've been to so many they all tend to blend in to each other. But if i don't want to go i'll just say, 'nah im out'.

An Claidheamh · 09-01-2015 04:43PM

Sure, I always think the guests make the wedding.

If they're moany, they're moany. If they friendly, it's a great time.

I mean in several of these posts people are unreasonable, like if they have the venue somewhat far away, maybe it's because they're not rich! And had to find the best place for the best price.

Also, I'm not aware of ever being provided with transport from Church to hotel venue by the B and G. Do people not carpool or go with their relatives, deciding beforehand?

And you don't know anyone at your table? Tough. Sit somewhere where you do!

Finally, you'll never be able to get a venue where there are ample B and Bs/hotels available in the immediate vicinity for everyone, unless the wedding's in a city centre.

And the B and G are sometimes let down by the hotel in terms of food choice/presentation. Not really their fault.

They're under enough stress and should really enjoy their day.

Electric Sheep · 09-01-2015 04:45PM

nosietoes wrote: »

One wedding I went to provided a bus from the church to the venue that was about an hour away only for the bride's friends and family.

How about not providing any drinks/nibbles before dinner but having a caricature artists going around drawing you... or a photographer giving you a key ring with your own photo on it?

It's a party - good food, some drinks, good music.

No magicians, or people interrupting your dinner conversations with violins in your ear or singing. Please!

I know! It is unbelievable how some couples prioritize stupid gimmicks like photobooths and other such crap above food. Does anyone really think a photobooth or caricature artist or sweet table adds anything but an eyeroll to hungry guests?

Electric Sheep · 09-01-2015 04:54PM

BKWDR wrote: »

Is the B&G eating something they want that is not what everyone else is eating such a deal breaker?

Yes.

nosietoes · 09-01-2015 04:55PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

Also, I'm not aware of ever being provided with transport from Church to hotel venue by the B and G. Do people not carpool or go with their relatives, deciding beforehand?

I'd never heard of it either and think its completely unneccesary, but was mentioning it because I thought it was odd that it was only those connected to the bride who were looked after rather than half and half.

Clearlier · 09-01-2015 04:56PM

BKWDR wrote: »

Is the B&G eating something they want that is not what everyone else is eating such a deal breaker?

Unless there was a dietary reason for it (coeliac/diabetic etc.) I'd be unimpressed by the B&G selecting one thing for themselves and something else for everyone else.

bjork · 09-01-2015 04:56PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Yes.

The potato peelings in the trough are good enough for you and kin, kind sir

fits · 09-01-2015 04:57PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

.

I mean in several of these posts people are unreasonable, like if they have the venue somewhat far away, maybe it's because they're not rich! And had to find the best place for the best price.

.

We picked a far away venue for very justified reasons which i wont be explaining to my guests. One of them is giving out about it already and tbh he should know better.

mrsbyrne · 09-01-2015 05:16PM

fits wrote: »

We picked a far away venue for very justified reasons which i wont be explaining to my guests. One of them is giving out about it already and tbh he should know better.

Absolutely if you have your reasons to ask family and friends to travel for hours to attend your wedding and you feel you dont owe anybody an exjplanation, as long as your not going to take offense if people moan about it and/or decline your invitation, once again.without explanation.

An Claidheamh · 09-01-2015 05:16PM

nosietoes wrote: »

I'd never heard of it either and think its completely unneccesary, but was mentioning it because I thought it was odd that it was only those connected to the bride who were looked after rather than half and half.

Fair enough, but it was mentioned several times before that, regarding all the guests.

An Claidheamh · 09-01-2015 05:19PM

mrsbyrne wrote: »

Absolutely if you have your reasons to ask family and friends to travel for hours to attend your wedding and you feel you font owe anybody an explanation, as long as your not going to take offense if people decline your invitation, once again.without explanation.

But surely if you're from Dublin and you find a great deal in Mullingar or Kilkenny, do you have to apologise for the 2 or so hours?

Also, what if the person is from the west of Ireland, and having the wedding there, but all their friends live in Dublin?

That's a common enough occurrence.

mrsbyrne · 09-01-2015 05:30PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

But surely if you're from Dublin and you find a great deal in Mullingar or Kilkenny, do you have to apologise for the 2 or so hours?

Also, what if the person is from the west of Ireland, and having the wedding there, but all their friends live in Dublin?

That's a common enough occurrence.

Yes im delighted for people to get a good deal in a nice hotel, but if the B&G live in Dublin and majority of the guests are in Dublin that it maybe very inconvenient and expensive for some guests to attend as much as they love you.

How to annoy your wedding guests. **MOD WARNING POST # 1**

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How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1