How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1

bjork · 08-01-2015 10:57PM

lazygal wrote: »

Yeah when I'm looking for the craic nothing beats mass with a wedding ceremony shoved in the middle of it, with people who've never followed the teachings anyway.

It's not compulsory to have the mass bit, even in the church > You can just do the sacrament of marriage minus the mass. People opt for the longer version

angel eyes 2012 · 08-01-2015 11:02PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

Well of course, it's all about how you feel .... at their wedding. :rolleyes:

Well the thread is called 'how to annoy your GUESTS at your wedding' not to discuss the Bride's feelings, that's the point ☺

lazygal · 08-01-2015 11:03PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

Well of course, it's all about how you feel .... at their wedding. :rolleyes:

This thread is about how to annoy your wedding guests. Having a church ceremony when you think the whole thing is nonsense anyway annoys me.

lazygal · 08-01-2015 11:04PM

bjork wrote: »

It's not compulsory to have the mass bit, even in the church > You can just do the sacrament of marriage minus the mass. People opt for the longer version

Yeah even the short version is boring and annoying, especially when virtually no one getting married actually believes and follows any of the rules.

An Claidheamh · 08-01-2015 11:10PM

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

Well the thread is called 'how to annoy your GUESTS at your wedding' not to discuss the Bride's feelings, that's the point ☺

Yeah exactly F!*K the bride's feelings!

Good point. :rolleyes:

cocoman · 08-01-2015 11:15PM

For the meal only serve spaghetti bolognese and don't have any napkins on the tables.
The older generation will realĺy love it !!!!

Toots · 09-01-2015 12:17AM

Let's try to keep the thread argument-free. Different people have different likes/dislikes, so please respect that and don't get argumentative on thread.

Into The Blue · 09-01-2015 12:28AM

True story..

Invite all and sundry to your church "wedding"
Bridal party feck off for dinner in the brides favourite Chinese
Meet up with guests for party that evening.
Moan for years about how your gifts were lower than the "standard"

nosietoes · 09-01-2015 12:57AM

WooHoo - I'm hitting 3 of 'em

I'm an atheist getting married in a church (partner's choice, tho the church is not the one I grew up in)
Using Corinthians (love the beginning about being a noisy gong)
Having a black tie wedding

Zambia · 09-01-2015 01:10AM

Black tie is not that bad, all us blokes get to look* like James bond.

*think

ABajaninCork · 09-01-2015 01:18AM

Well - I had the reading from the letter of St Paul to the Corinthians. I'm a practicing Catholic and it is one of my favourite readings from the Bible. I always wanted that for my wedding, and didn't care it's been done to death...

OTOH - I hate the 'cutesy' doggrel asking for cash. If you must ask for cash, (and I don't like that idea either) then come out with it live and direct.
I also hate Black Tie weddings. I've said it before, but BT is rarely done properly these days. The ladies think it's just a long dress, and the gentlemen tend to wear lounge suits with a black tie. Worse yet, the outfits are often teamed with slip-on shoes. And it tends to piss off guests.

ABajaninCork · 09-01-2015 01:22AM

Clearlier wrote: »

Ensure that the speech givers go on for hours, preferably having visibly had a few too many .

Don't EVER go to a West Indian wedding then! When we have weddings, EVERYBODY gets to take the mic. Speeches can go on for hours if you're not careful...

I had mine English/Irish style. My husband, BM, both fathers gave short speeches. I eventually got up to say a few words as my husband forgot to thank my stepmum for the cakes. Few people from my side were cussing, but hey! Speeches only lasted 15-20 mins!!

cuilteanna · 09-01-2015 01:36AM

Was told of a wedding held in an old church building, guests were herded on a "surprise" tour of the place after the ceremony then asked to donate for restoration work. Friend who attended was definitely annoyed.

rainbow kirby · 09-01-2015 02:29AM

The wedding of a college friend of mine was a prime example of some of these, the priest glaring at the groom's row of queer friends while going on about how marriage was between one man and one woman. Bride and groom both bi atheists but went along with an RC church wedding to get her hardcore Catholic Irish-American parents to pay for the whole thing. Friday afternoon while I was in the last month of classes for my masters. Another starving afternoon.

Ours is on what is a bank holiday weekend for us and the small number of friends we have travelling over for it, but not an Irish bank holiday weekend. We just need Munster to not get a home Pro12 semi final...

Senna · 09-01-2015 02:37AM

- Have a sweet table on arrival at the hotel so the kids fill up on sweets and get sick/don't eat anything proper.
-Have a seating plan with font size 4 so everyone takes 20 minutes finding their name, especially the grannies.
-Bride holds all the rooms in the hotel because she wants them for her friends, no one else can book so they have to stay in another hotel 20 minutes away, bride doesn't have as many friends as she thinks and hotel is half full on the night.
-Announce all the bridesmaids and groomsmen in by name before the bride and groom
_Have the speeches before the meal and have a sideshow just to make everyone wait longer for dinner
_Spend a fortune on decor, favours, photobooths etc at the expense of the meal/wine
_Pick the same bloody meal as every other wedding
_Pick a band completely unsuitable for the crowd
_Don't have a Dj cause an ipod is the EXACT same thing

On the readings, I can't remember what we had, it could well have been the Paul to the Croninions, but we had a completely unsuitable prayer of the faithful, it had something like "shy wife, quiet wife" my brother in law reading it couldn't stop laughing, shy and quiet are the last two things my wife are. It was picked in a rush and we didn't even read what they were.

Toots · 09-01-2015 02:57AM

Wedding abroad at peak holiday time of year (August), in a remote location where there are no scheduled flights and your only options is booking a package which involves staying there a week.
Insist that guests stand outside the church for a group photo in mid December
Have a lousy option for the vegetarians at dinner
Don't send thank you cards
Hire a DJ who refers to the slow set as "the erection section"
Have the groom end his speech with the words "We're heading to the canaries next week so fúck the lot of ye!"
Get married at a hotel where the price of a pint at the bar is €7.85 (I don't drink, but I've been informed that this is a scandalous rip off).
Best man's speech takes 74 minutes (nobody won the bet on that!) and was full of random waffle about the groom's extended family, and barely one word about the bride and groom themselves.

The above are things that have actually happened at wedding's I've attended. The DJ and speech swearing were both part of the same wedding. The 74 minute speech was the only time I've ever heard a best man being heckled in a non-jovial way. In the end the wedding coordinator had to go up and have a word in his ear, because the speeches were between the main course and dessert and the chef was concerned that if the speeches went on much longer that the dessert would be inedible.

cactusgal · 09-01-2015 04:06AM

Ask your guest to be your bridesmaid, but with the understanding that she must pay for everything herself, along with travelling to your wedding.

On the invite, inform guests that what you really want is money for your mortgage fund, and put your bank account details ON THE INVITE so people can just lodge their gift in to you!!!!!!!!!!

These things both happened, at two different weddings, the first in the USA and the second in Ireland.

ABajaninCork · 09-01-2015 04:12AM

To be fair, it's the custom that BM's pay for their dresses and travel in the US.

BetterThanThou · 09-01-2015 04:20AM

An acquaintance invited me to his wedding, he then informed me that he was expecting everyone to pay for their meal. In addition to informing me that bar his very close friends and family, he wasn't arranging any transport from Dublin to the wedding venue, which was about a 4 hour drive away.

cactusgal · 09-01-2015 04:28AM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

To be fair, it's the custom that BM's pay for their dresses and travel in the US.

Yes, I know (I'm American) but I still find it very annoying!

ABajaninCork · 09-01-2015 04:32AM

cactusgal wrote: »

Yes, I know (I'm American) but I still find it very annoying!

It is. Another American custom which has crept over to the Caribbean. My MoH was surprised when I told her to pick her dress and accessories and I would pay for them. She still tried to give me money for it!

Millem · 09-01-2015 07:12AM

Have a black tie wedding mon-thurs in a very expensive venue so you can pay €90 pp as opposed to €100+, the expensive venue will only have a very small number of rooms so your guests will have to stay in a hotel or B&b that is a taxi ride away, have the ceremony in a different in a church that has nothing to do with either the bride or groom and is over an hours drive from the venue.

Tarzana2 · 09-01-2015 08:50AM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I also hate Black Tie weddings. I've said it before, but BT is rarely done properly these days. The ladies think it's just a long dress, and the gentlemen tend to wear lounge suits with a black tie. Worse yet, the outfits are often teamed with slip-on shoes. And it tends to piss off guests.

Hate black tie weddings, but also hate the stuffiness of people being judged for not doing it right. Who actually cares?

Tarzana2 · 09-01-2015 08:52AM

Into The Blue wrote: »

True story..

Invite all and sundry to your church "wedding"
Bridal party feck off for dinner in the brides favourite Chinese
Meet up with guests for party that evening.
Moan for years about how your gifts were lower than the "standard"

Is this for realsies? :eek:

mrsbyrne · 09-01-2015 09:03AM

Insist on having a Catholic wedding even though your a Satanist then bitch and moan to everyone about how you had to do the pre marriage course and pay the priest who wouldnt let you have BaT out of Hell by Meatloaf during Communion

Into The Blue · 09-01-2015 09:04AM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Is this for realsies? :eek:

The wedding was 2008, and at Christmas just gone we were all out, and she asked me what our average gift was.. I hadn't a notion, she did though.. 100 per couple.

Buona Fortuna · 09-01-2015 09:06AM

Neyite wrote: »

I think its moreso that the bridesmaid dresses or someone in the bridal party is wearing a Coast dress, so its a warning not to wear one in case you match a bridesmaid.

Thanks for clearing that up because its one of those things that would have just nagged and nagged away at me, until I found out.:)

tinkerbell wrote: »

Wait a second? The Paul / Corinthians love letter is on par with serving half a cupcake / serving no dinner / expecting guests to pay for dinner / demanding portraits, cake and Kitchen Aid stand mixers? Ah come on!!!!

Yes. Also back in the day (just after the Emergency) the priest told you what you were having. No one, least of all me (the antichrist heathen) would have said - maybe we could have ....

09-01-2015 09:33AM

I was invited to a wedding a few years ago and they invitations were from the couples 3 year old daughter - so it went like this (made up names)

"Annie Smith would like to invite you to the wedding of her mammy mary and daddy john etc..."

They might have thought it was cute, but everyone was sneering at it.

Tzardine · 09-01-2015 09:37AM

I think it's cute.

Irish people will always have to have something to sneer about at a wedding anyway.

09-01-2015 09:39AM

Tzardine wrote: »

I think it's cute.

Irish people will always have to have something to sneer about at a wedding anyway.

mine and your definition of cute are two different things. I'm sorry now I didn't get my cat to invite my guests on my behalf

How to annoy your wedding guests. **MOD WARNING POST # 1**

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How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1