Why aren't bidets and toilet/baby wipes standard toilet accessories in Ireland?

DoYouEvenLift · 07-01-2015 12:34AM #1

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes.

Anyone know that feel when you use someone else's bathroom and instantly lose respect when you see they don't even have toilet wipes, let alone a bidet? It confirms your suspicions of why they sometimes smell bad.

To anyone reading: if you don't change your underwear after showering at least once a day, use a bidet and toilet wipes you more than likely smell after you sh!t. If you only use toilet paper you are a caveman!

Plus points to anyone who uses a touch of baby powder and a squeeze of lemon juice for extra angus freshness.

The_Valeyard · 07-01-2015 12:44AM

Well la di da Mr. Bidet.

I know how to wipe good sir, I'm sorry if you need flowing water to help you.

Greenmachine · 07-01-2015 12:46AM

I suppose the Op flush said baby wipe or does she leave them in the bin stinking up the bathroom.

diomed · 07-01-2015 12:47AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

To anyone reading: if you don't change your underwear after showering at least once a day.

I don't wear underwear in the shower. :eek:

DoYouEvenLift · 07-01-2015 12:48AM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Well la di da Mr. Bidet.

I know how to wipe good sir, I'm sorry if you need flowing water to help you.

When you wipe with just toilet paper you don't get rid of all the sh!t. No matter how well you think you can wipe, after a certain extent you're just wiping in dry sh!t that'll be left over even though the toilet paper will be totally clean and give you the idea that you're totally clean. The reality is, using water is the only way to totally get rid of that dried sh!t.

kowloon · 07-01-2015 12:49AM

Bidet, that's the drinking fountain next to the toilet, right?

Day Lewin · 07-01-2015 12:51AM

You shouldn't flush any kind of wipes because they mix with fats and debris in the sewage stream to cause monster "fatbergs"
They are NOT SOLUBLE whatever the packaging may say. Ask any plumber.
Wipes must go in bin, which will not make OP's bathroom any more fragrant either.

It's true that a bidet is a very nice clean personal accessory but modern bathrooms often just don't have room for one.
They are traditional mainly in HOT countries. Which Britain and Ireland are definitely not.

DoYouEvenLift · 07-01-2015 12:56AM

katemarch wrote: »

You shouldn't flush any kind of wipes because they mix with fats and debris in the sewage stream to cause monster "fatbergs"
They are NOT SOLUBLE whatever the packaging may say. Ask any plumber.
Wipes must go in bin, which will not make OP's bathroom any more fragrant either.

It's true that a bidet is a very nice clean personal accessory but modern bathrooms often just don't have room for one.
They are traditional mainly in HOT countries. Which Britain and Ireland are definitely not.

So Irish and British people can use the weather as an excuse to have dirty asses? I don't think so

Day Lewin · 07-01-2015 01:01AM

LOL - we can always hang our bums out in the rain!!!

Highflyer13 · 07-01-2015 01:07AM

Just watched this very imformative video on how to use bidets. I never heard of them before this thread. Looks like a handy tool and pleasureful all the same:cool:. All us Irish folk must be walking around with klangers all these years. Maybe Celtic Tiger 2.0 will bring Bidets into households instead of decking.

Son Of A Vidic · 07-01-2015 01:09AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Why aren't bidets and toilet/baby wipes standard toilet accessories in Ireland?

With an abundance of these all over the land, nobody needs bidets or wipes ffs.

Stheno · 07-01-2015 01:10AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes.

Anyone know that feel when you use someone else's bathroom and instantly lose respect when you see they don't even have toilet wipes, let alone a bidet? It confirms your suspicions of why they sometimes smell bad.

To anyone reading: if you don't change your underwear after showering at least once a day, use a bidet and toilet wipes you more than likely smell after you sh!t. If you only use toilet paper you are a caveman!

Plus points to anyone who uses a touch of baby powder and a squeeze of lemon juice for extra angus freshness.

Ah it's you again.

You're the reason I never **** during the working day, I prefer the runs flowing out of me

Ever been to a strict Muslim restaurant?

lulu1 · 07-01-2015 01:12AM

I remember being in what I would call a fancy house years ago with an old aunt.When we left she says to me "Did you see the wee thing they had in the bathroom for washing your feet? (bidet).I could not tell her what it was but I got a good laugh.

Day Lewin · 07-01-2015 01:13AM

Adding a helpful note to that most informative little movie:

If you don't wish to - or have time to - to remove all clothing below the waist, then just pull down as if to use the loo, and pant-wearers face outwards while skirt-wearers may face inwards. Try it and see.

Bidets are also dead useful for washing your feet.

Stheno · 07-01-2015 01:14AM

lulu1 wrote: »

I remember being in what I would call a fancy house years ago with an old aunt.When we left she says to me "Did you see the wee thing they had in the bathroom for washing your feet? (bidet).I could not tell her what it was but I got a good laugh.

I was in a Muslim based restaurant Christmas Day

They had a shower attachment beside the toilet to clean yourself after toileting.

pauliebdub · 07-01-2015 01:15AM

I thought bidets were used only by women in hot countries for douching and as an alternative to sanitary towels etc.

shruikan2553 · 07-01-2015 01:17AM

If you are having to clean **** off your ass and it doesnt come off unless you wash it I recommend more fibre. Im not saying dont wipe but you shouldnt be worrying about **** not coming off unless you power hose it.

Stheno · 07-01-2015 01:18AM

pauliebdub wrote: »

I thought bidets were used only by women in hot countries for douching and as an alternative to sanitary towels etc.

I recently learned from my OH who lived in Saudi that Muslims must clean after every visit to the toilet

I looked it up

http://www.myreligionislam.com/detail.asp?Aid=6096

Day Lewin · 07-01-2015 01:22AM

The ladies toilets in the airports of Dubai and Abu Dhabi are floors awash. And in India every bathroom contains a jug and a bucket.
The precise use of jug and bucket appears to be an arcane secret - would like to see detailed instructions - but still, if one had to wash the affected parts thoroughly after every evacuation, I am sure you could work out some method with the jug and the bucket that would satisfy the demands of hygiene.

magentis · 07-01-2015 01:22AM

Pure ****e talk.

KomradeBishop · 07-01-2015 01:22AM

Next Boards thread: Anyone who doesn't bathe three times daily, in concentrated sulphuric acid, is mank.

PucaMama · 07-01-2015 01:22AM

pauliebdub wrote: »

I thought bidets were used only by women in hot countries for douching and as an alternative to sanitary towels etc.

god no :eek:

The Backwards Man · 07-01-2015 01:26AM

A babywipe is about the worst thing you can stick up your arse

Mech1 · 07-01-2015 01:26AM

I installed a new garden hose the day my missus hit 14 stone, she's not happy, but it works.

goiko · 07-01-2015 01:45AM

I'm sure this thread is gonna come across as silly to many of ye, but when you grow up in a country where every single house has bidets and then you move to Ireland, I can tell you that one of the things you miss the most is a bidet! Not just in terms of hygiene but also in terms of comfort. That's one and the other one is a f*cking plug in the bathroom. Whoever thought that a plug in the toilet isn't necessary was a f*cking idiot :mad:

DaDerv · 07-01-2015 01:56AM

I use dock leaves

Day Lewin · 07-01-2015 02:01AM

One of the oldest jokes ever recorded in print in the English language goes as follows:

Q: why are Holly the cleanest leaves?
A: because nobody would wipe their bum with them

Ho ho, tee hee etc
Some things never change.

Cheensbo · 07-01-2015 02:12AM

lulu1 wrote: »

I remember being in what I would call a fancy house years ago with an old aunt.When we left she says to me "Did you see the wee thing they had in the bathroom for washing your feet? (bidet).I could not tell her what it was but I got a good laugh.

It's the kids toilet, people use them to check their kids sh1t before they flush it.

That's the continentals innnit, they're dirty

Robsweezie · 07-01-2015 02:15AM

bidet? you've notions...;-)

foxy farmer · 07-01-2015 02:26AM

I haven't seen a bidet on display in a bathroom showroom with years. Never saw one in any bathroom i ever used either in last 40 yrs. Give a day working on a farm and a lemon fragrant bum will be the least of your worries.

DaDerv · 07-01-2015 02:37AM

foxy farmer wrote: »

I haven't seen a bidet on display in a bathroom showroom with years. Never saw one in any bathroom i ever used either in last 40 yrs. Give a day working on a farm and a lemon fragrant bum will be the least of your worries.

The last thing you want are foxy dangle berries though??

Why aren't bidets and toilet/baby wipes standard toilet accessories in Ireland?

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