Why aren't bidets and toilet/baby wipes standard toilet accessories in Ireland?

DoYouEvenLift

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes.

Anyone know that feel when you use someone else's bathroom and instantly lose respect when you see they don't even have toilet wipes, let alone a bidet? It confirms your suspicions of why they sometimes smell bad.

To anyone reading: if you don't change your underwear after showering at least once a day, use a bidet and toilet wipes you more than likely smell after you sh!t. If you only use toilet paper you are a caveman!


Plus points to anyone who uses a touch of baby powder and a squeeze of lemon juice for extra angus freshness.

The_Valeyard

Well la di da Mr. Bidet.


I know how to wipe good sir, I'm sorry if you need flowing water to help you.

Greenmachine

I suppose the Op flush said baby wipe or does she leave them in the bin stinking up the bathroom.

diomed

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

To anyone reading: if you don't change your underwear after showering at least once a day.

I don't wear underwear in the shower. :eek:

DoYouEvenLift

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Well la di da Mr. Bidet.


I know how to wipe good sir, I'm sorry if you need flowing water to help you.

When you wipe with just toilet paper you don't get rid of all the sh!t. No matter how well you think you can wipe, after a certain extent you're just wiping in dry sh!t that'll be left over even though the toilet paper will be totally clean and give you the idea that you're totally clean. The reality is, using water is the only way to totally get rid of that dried sh!t.

kowloon

Bidet, that's the drinking fountain next to the toilet, right?

Day Lewin

You shouldn't flush any kind of wipes because they mix with fats and debris in the sewage stream to cause monster "fatbergs"
They are NOT SOLUBLE whatever the packaging may say. Ask any plumber.
Wipes must go in bin, which will not make OP's bathroom any more fragrant either.

It's true that a bidet is a very nice clean personal accessory but modern bathrooms often just don't have room for one.
They are traditional mainly in HOT countries. Which Britain and Ireland are definitely not.

DoYouEvenLift

katemarch wrote: »

You shouldn't flush any kind of wipes because they mix with fats and debris in the sewage stream to cause monster "fatbergs"
They are NOT SOLUBLE whatever the packaging may say. Ask any plumber.
Wipes must go in bin, which will not make OP's bathroom any more fragrant either.

It's true that a bidet is a very nice clean personal accessory but modern bathrooms often just don't have room for one.
They are traditional mainly in HOT countries. Which Britain and Ireland are definitely not.

So Irish and British people can use the weather as an excuse to have dirty asses? I don't think so

Day Lewin

LOL - we can always hang our bums out in the rain!!!

Highflyer13

Just watched this very imformative video on how to use bidets. I never heard of them before this thread. Looks like a handy tool and pleasureful all the same:cool:. All us Irish folk must be walking around with klangers all these years. Maybe Celtic Tiger 2.0 will bring Bidets into households instead of decking.

Son Of A Vidic

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Why aren't bidets and toilet/baby wipes standard toilet accessories in Ireland?

With an abundance of these all over the land, nobody needs bidets or wipes ffs.

Stheno

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes.

Anyone know that feel when you use someone else's bathroom and instantly lose respect when you see they don't even have toilet wipes, let alone a bidet? It confirms your suspicions of why they sometimes smell bad.

To anyone reading: if you don't change your underwear after showering at least once a day, use a bidet and toilet wipes you more than likely smell after you sh!t. If you only use toilet paper you are a caveman!


Plus points to anyone who uses a touch of baby powder and a squeeze of lemon juice for extra angus freshness.

Ah it's you again.

You're the reason I never **** during the working day, I prefer the runs flowing out of me

Ever been to a strict Muslim restaurant?

lulu1

I remember being in what I would call a fancy house years ago with an old aunt.When we left she says to me "Did you see the wee thing they had in the bathroom for washing your feet? (bidet).I could not tell her what it was but I got a good laugh.

Day Lewin

Adding a helpful note to that most informative little movie:

If you don't wish to - or have time to - to remove all clothing below the waist, then just pull down as if to use the loo, and pant-wearers face outwards while skirt-wearers may face inwards. Try it and see.

Bidets are also dead useful for washing your feet.

Stheno

lulu1 wrote: »

I remember being in what I would call a fancy house years ago with an old aunt.When we left she says to me "Did you see the wee thing they had in the bathroom for washing your feet? (bidet).I could not tell her what it was but I got a good laugh.

I was in a Muslim based restaurant Christmas Day

They had a shower attachment beside the toilet to clean yourself after toileting.

pauliebdub

I thought bidets were used only by women in hot countries for douching and as an alternative to sanitary towels etc.

shruikan2553

If you are having to clean **** off your ass and it doesnt come off unless you wash it I recommend more fibre. Im not saying dont wipe but you shouldnt be worrying about **** not coming off unless you power hose it.

Stheno

pauliebdub wrote: »

I thought bidets were used only by women in hot countries for douching and as an alternative to sanitary towels etc.

I recently learned from my OH who lived in Saudi that Muslims must clean after every visit to the toilet

I looked it up

http://www.myreligionislam.com/detail.asp?Aid=6096

Day Lewin

The ladies toilets in the airports of Dubai and Abu Dhabi are floors awash. And in India every bathroom contains a jug and a bucket.
The precise use of jug and bucket appears to be an arcane secret - would like to see detailed instructions - but still, if one had to wash the affected parts thoroughly after every evacuation, I am sure you could work out some method with the jug and the bucket that would satisfy the demands of hygiene.

magentis

Pure ****e talk.

KomradeBishop

Next Boards thread: Anyone who doesn't bathe three times daily, in concentrated sulphuric acid, is mank.

PucaMama

pauliebdub wrote: »

I thought bidets were used only by women in hot countries for douching and as an alternative to sanitary towels etc.

god no :eek:

The Backwards Man

A babywipe is about the worst thing you can stick up your arse

Mech1

I installed a new garden hose the day my missus hit 14 stone, she's not happy, but it works.

goiko

I'm sure this thread is gonna come across as silly to many of ye, but when you grow up in a country where every single house has bidets and then you move to Ireland, I can tell you that one of the things you miss the most is a bidet! Not just in terms of hygiene but also in terms of comfort. That's one and the other one is a f*cking plug in the bathroom. Whoever thought that a plug in the toilet isn't necessary was a f*cking idiot :mad:

DaDerv

I use dock leaves

Day Lewin

One of the oldest jokes ever recorded in print in the English language goes as follows:

Q: why are Holly the cleanest leaves?
A: because nobody would wipe their bum with them

Ho ho, tee hee etc
Some things never change.

Cheensbo

lulu1 wrote: »

I remember being in what I would call a fancy house years ago with an old aunt.When we left she says to me "Did you see the wee thing they had in the bathroom for washing your feet? (bidet).I could not tell her what it was but I got a good laugh.

It's the kids toilet, people use them to check their kids sh1t before they flush it.

That's the continentals innnit, they're dirty

Robsweezie

bidet? you've notions...;-)

foxy farmer

I haven't seen a bidet on display in a bathroom showroom with years. Never saw one in any bathroom i ever used either in last 40 yrs. Give a day working on a farm and a lemon fragrant bum will be the least of your worries.

DaDerv

foxy farmer wrote: »

I haven't seen a bidet on display in a bathroom showroom with years. Never saw one in any bathroom i ever used either in last 40 yrs. Give a day working on a farm and a lemon fragrant bum will be the least of your worries.

The last thing you want are foxy dangle berries though??

sabat

Unless you're receiving rimjobs twice a day I really don't see the need-it's your arse; it's a dirty, smelly place no matter what way you clean it.

foxy farmer

DaDerv wrote: »

The last thing you want are foxy dangle berries though??

Clinkers we call them down here. When they start to clink its time to act.

BetterThanThou

Definitely something I plan on having in my house once I become a homeowner(If finances allow), many times after a night out or a burrito, I've had to jump in the shower to keep my bum hygiene in check, and the refreshing feeling from a bidet is incredible.

DaDerv

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Definitely something I plan on having in my house once I become a homeowner(If finances allow), many times after a night out or a burrito, I've had to jump in the shower to keep my bum hygiene in check, and the refreshing feeling from a bidet is incredible.

I'd never considered this! It's genius! All the times the only thing distracting me from my hangover was the burning sensation left from last nights kebab! The relief would be orgasmic!

DesperateDan

Disgusting thread is disgusting.

Duggy747

A quick scrub in the kitchen sink with the dish brush and you're good as new.

Just remember to rinse out the brush after you're done before scrubbing other dishes

punisher5112

Duggy747 wrote: »

A quick scrub in the kitchen sink with the dish brush and you're good as new.

Just remember to rinse out the brush after you're done before scrubbing other dishes

Toothbrush does the job no need to leave the bathroom to get to kitchen....

MadsL

Stheno wrote: »

I was in a Muslim based restaurant Christmas Day

How do they taste?

MadsL

My parents, now in their eighties installed a Japanese style toilet complete with arse sprinkler and hot air dryer, I was like WTF! They explained that having nursed elderly parents through the messy years, they had no will to inflict that on each other nor us the kids.

Smart thinking.

Lingua Franca

Your parents are awesome.

gozunda

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes...

The bizarre thing about non western style toilets in many North African and middle eastern counties is that they are effectively a hole in the floor. Directional usage is difficult at best if at all by most users. Ime they are universally rank even with the availability of a complimentary hosepipe for washing your a/hole. The design of these 'sanitary units' involves actually standing / squatting in the sh1te tray albeit on a slightly raised area - it still means that your footwear will come out covered in whatever is on the floor. And I can tell you this much there are few bleddin bidets or baby wipes available for use either. You are lucky if there is a sink and towel of any description to properly wash your hands after. Oh yeah and you have to bring your own loo roll. Did I mention the general stench ? Clean me ^rse!



Instructions here

http://m.wikihow.com/Use-a-Squat-Toilet

Lingua Franca

And yet it gets you in the proper physical position to completely empty yourself.

But if course, the western sit down toilets with toilet paper to smear the poo around and perhaps clog the sewers up with your unflushable wet/baby wipes and sanitary products (they disappear around the U-bend so of course they're flushable!) must be the vastly superior system, simply because it's what we're used to and we know better, eh? Nevermind the warnings on the sanitary products that they should be wrapped and disposed of carefully, and that baby wipes should never be flushed, and from the water board spending money on digging out fatbergs of used oil and tampons. THEY DISAPPEAR ROUND THE U BEND AND THEREFORE THEY DON'T EXIST ANY MORE BECAUSE MAGIC,

From the point of view of many on this forum it's actually amazing that the human race continues at all without modern western hygiene standards, given that the vast majority of this planet's population doesn't shower daily, a hefty percentage of them don't possess enough clothes to change daily and about a third don't have any toilets at all. You'd think that if it was so vital then humans would be extinct in certain areas.

By the way, this:

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes.

never deserved a response in the first place and should have been locked.

gozunda

Lingua Franca wrote: »

And yet it gets you in the proper physical position to completely empty yourself.

That's very debatable - have you read the instructions for men + funnel needed by women to properly use these things?? Seriously ? Btw most westerners ime do not use BABY WIPES to clean their a/holes and flush down the toilet.

But hey whatever you are into man - the thread needed some different views on toilet types :rolleyes: but yes give me a western style toilet & toilet roll any day thanks.

Lingua Franca

gozunda wrote: »

That's very debatable - have you read the instructions for men + funnel needed by women to properly use these things??

Yes.

Seriously ?

Yes. Seriously. I'm a woman. Who has used these things.

Btw most westerners ime do not use BABY WIPES to clean their a/holes and flush down the toilet :rolleyes:

Hold off on the rolleyes there, sunshine, and re-read the OP.

But hey whatever your into man - the thread needed some different views on toilet types :rolleyes:

You don't have the first idea of what I'm into or what my own hygiene practices are, do you? Go on, tell me why you're rolling your eyes again there.

DoYouEvenLift

Lingua Franca wrote: »

And yet it gets you in the proper physical position to completely empty yourself.

But if course, the western sit down toilets with toilet paper to smear the poo around and perhaps clog the sewers up with your unflushable wet/baby wipes and sanitary products (they disappear around the U-bend so of course they're flushable!) must be the vastly superior system, simply because it's what we're used to and we know better, eh? Nevermind the warnings on the sanitary products that they should be wrapped and disposed of carefully, and that baby wipes should never be flushed, and from the water board spending money on digging out fatbergs of used oil and tampons. THEY DISAPPEAR ROUND THE U BEND AND THEREFORE THEY DON'T EXIST ANY MORE BECAUSE MAGIC,

From the point of view of many on this forum it's actually amazing that the human race continues at all without modern western hygiene standards, given that the vast majority of this planet's population doesn't shower daily, a hefty percentage of them don't possess enough clothes to change daily and about a third don't have any toilets at all. You'd think that if it was so vital then humans would be extinct in certain areas.

By the way, this:



never deserved a response in the first place and should have been locked.

Why so?

gozunda

Lingua Franca wrote: »

...
You don't have the first idea of what I'm into or what my own hygiene practices are, do you? Go on, tell me why you're rolling your eyes again there.

Lol I really don't want to know thanks - that's just way too much information even for this thread ... :rolleyes:

Lingua Franca

Because

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I pity anyone who has to put up with the company of neanderthals that don't have bidets and toilet wipes.

Given that those are highly luxurious inventions that even most first world westerners don't even indulge in, you're trolling.

Lingua Franca

gozunda wrote: »

Lol I really don't want to know thanks - that's just way too much information even for this thread ... :rolleyes:

You could just admit that you have no idea what my own personal hygiene practices are and were being reactionary and that way you might be able to save some face.

Again I will ask, why were you rolling your eyes so many times? Did I shock you? Appal you? Did you not see the sarcasm?

DoYouEvenLift

Lingua Franca wrote: »

Because



Given that those are highly luxurious inventions that even most first world westerners don't even indulge in, you're trolling.

How luxurious does this look to you?

Lingua Franca

You do realise that that is neither the bidet or toilet wipes you were bemoaning the lack of in your OP, don't you? It's a butthose and I am intimately familiar with it since they're common in hot countries.

Not so common in Ireland, though... one would almost consider it a luxury to go out of your way to have one fitted in a bathroom reinstall. Do you see a lot of butthoses in Irish houses? Perhaps you move in different circles than I do.