drug dealers using club card point system!!

08-12-2014 01:27AM

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

I was gifted a bottle of top shelf single malt whiskey by a former employer yesterday, so I rang a close friend who is also a whiskey afficiondo,and also my weed dealer and invited him round to share the bottle and have some spliffs and giggles.So himself and his wife call around,and no sooner was the door closed behind us when my pal whips out a scale and weighed out 8.5g of lovely sticky green and stuck it in my hand.Bemused,I handed it back and informed him I'd enough smoke to last a week or so.He then handed it to me again,and said don't worry harry,no money need change hands for this,its your clubcard bonus for the year!!!
After a few minutes of me laughing hysterically I thanked him and we got stuck into the whiskey and he explained that he makes a mental note of what every punter spends on average per month, tots up the figure at the end of the year and rewards the customer accordingly.Absolute genius.Curious,I asked how much I spent over the past year to warrant 8.5g of smoke as a bonus but he wouldnt divulge that information. Drug dealers get nothing but bad press,but last night proved to me that there are some good ones out there.We shouldn't tar them all with the same brush. It was a lovely gesture and i hope it catches on.

You'd have to admire his enterprise.

endacl · 08-12-2014 01:58AM

Knock Off Nigel wrote: »

Weed is the gateway to heroin

Nah. Heroin is the gateway to heroin. The clue is in the spelling.

Frynge · 08-12-2014 03:08AM

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Can you hold your liqour?can u roll?what is your opinion on ska music?

Yes, yes, and only on Tuesdays.

AndonHandon · 08-12-2014 03:24AM

Relatively harmless drug? Sure. Harmless to buy? Absolutely not; your vermin friend is the gutter crawler seeking out the leeches for those at the top to sell their illegal produce. It ain't nothing but a tiny cog in the machine of organised crime but it's still necessary for that machine to run.

harry Bailey esq · 08-12-2014 03:31AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You'd have to admire his enterprise.

My point exactly.I wasnt trying to start a legalise weed/alcohol is worse than weed thread,fcuk knows we have enough of those already. I was pointing out his ingenuity.At the end of the day,he is a sole independent trader,irrespective of the legal implications.By looking after his regulars he has ensured that he will have a healthy turnover for 2015.It was a lovely surprise.

braddun · 08-12-2014 03:41AM

theres no free lunch

next he will ask you to store stuff for him

harry Bailey esq · 08-12-2014 03:59AM

AndonHandon wrote: »

Relatively harmless drug? Sure. Harmless to buy? Absolutely not; your vermin friend is the gutter crawler seeking out the leeches for those at the top to sell their illegal produce. It ain't nothing but a tiny cog in the machine of organised crime but it's still necessary for that machine to run.

With all due respect andon read my posts before calling my mate 'gutter crawling vermin' Oganised crime you say? Hes a hippy ffs :mad: Also you say that cannabis is only a tiny cog in the 'machine of organised crime' well I'm sorry to break it to you chief but once again you are way off the mark.Revenue from cannabis easily exceeds coke,gear and ecstasy put together.Any cop will tell you that.If your going to have a little rant,have a rant on a topic that you have a vague understanding of at the very least

AndonHandon · 08-12-2014 04:11AM

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

With all due respect andon read my posts before calling my mate 'gutter crawling vermin' Oganised crime you say? Hes a hippy ffs :mad: Also you say that cannabis is only a tiny cog in the 'machine of organised crime' well I'm sorry to break it to you chief but once again you are way off the mark.Revenue from cannabis easily exceeds coke,gear and ecstasy put together.Any cop will tell you that.If your going to have a little rant,have a rant on a topic that you have a vague understanding of at the very least

If he is a hippy then it is only slightly different in that his operation is relatively harmless.

But in relation to a bigger crime organisation your point on revenue is perfectly complimentary to what I have said.

AngryHippie · 08-12-2014 04:12AM

AndonHandon wrote: »

Relatively harmless drug? Sure. Harmless to buy? Absolutely not; your vermin friend is the gutter crawler seeking out the leeches for those at the top to sell their illegal produce. It ain't nothing but a tiny cog in the machine of organised crime but it's still necessary for that machine to run.

As the Op has already implied, his loyal hook-up has a penchant for horticulture, which would lead me to think that he as an independent little wheel spinning away on his own, rather than some sort of gang-land hood rat trying to peddle to teenagers. I believe you read too much sensationalist media, or believe everything you were told by your teachers and parents.

Opinions are a little bit like ar$eholes, in the sense that everybody has one. But they are very unalike ar$seholes in the sense that they should be inspected, informed, regularly challenged and subject to change should new subject matter become available.

I believe you have a mk. 1 opinion there good sir, and you should seek to update it, or at the very least inform it or keep it to yourself.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2014 04:16AM

Everyone seems to be dealing nowadays

J Mysterio · 08-12-2014 04:31AM

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Well as Carl Sagan would say...

That's nice

harry Bailey esq · 08-12-2014 04:34AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Everyone seems to be dealing nowadays

True that.Id hazard a guess that may have had some influence on us getting sorted out for Christmas,i still feel it was pretty decent of him all the same..

J Mysterio · 08-12-2014 04:37AM

braddun wrote: »

theres no free lunch

next he will ask you to store stuff for him

:pac:

How innocent of you. Reminds me of Father Ted

J Mysterio · 08-12-2014 04:39AM

AngryHippie wrote: »

As the Op has already implied, his loyal hook-up has a penchant for horticulture, which would lead me to think that he as an independent little wheel spinning away on his own, rather than some sort of gang-land hood rat trying to peddle to teenagers. I believe you read too much sensationalist media, or believe everything you were told by your teachers and parents.

Opinions are a little bit like ar$eholes, in the sense that everybody has one. But they are very unalike ar$seholes in the sense that they should be inspected, informed, regularly challenged and subject to change should new subject matter become available.

I believe you have a mk. 1 opinion there good sir, and you should seek to update it, or at the very least inform it or keep it to yourself.

Very, very good! :pac:

Hilarious you're an angry hippie also!

harry Bailey esq · 08-12-2014 04:43AM

J Mysterio wrote: »

:pac:

How innocent of you. Reminds me of Father Ted

Frosty doesnt like me smokin...

crybaby · 08-12-2014 06:27AM

I would be worried that he probably is keeping a record of all his drug sales in a nice big notebook

pc7 · 08-12-2014 07:17AM

If your friends years how come you only got the brucie bonus this year?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2014 07:45AM

crybaby wrote: »

I would be worried that he probably is keeping a record of all his drug sales in a nice big notebook

I've never seen a tick list with real names on it. It's always nicknames or code names. "Poncho" or "duckc" or whatever. I doubt they keep a book with the name address and dob of their buyers

AngryHippie · 08-12-2014 08:00AM

pc7 wrote: »

If your friends years how come you only got the brucie bonus this year?

The Recession. Nobody is immune.

(Except Lawyers apparently)

DamagedTrax · 08-12-2014 11:17AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I've never seen a tick list with real names on it. It's always nicknames or code names. "Poncho" or "duckc" or whatever. I doubt they keep a book with the name address and dob of their buyers

name; address and phone numbers. also any distingusihing features!

sure i have to show my ID to get a smoke these day

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2014 11:25AM

There's a dealer close by where I live who doesn't even use his real name. When people are looking for him, they've the first part of his name right but a different surname

harry Bailey esq · 08-12-2014 05:14PM

quote="pc7;93353447"]If your friends years how come you only got the brucie bonus this year?[/quote]

He's only been selling some of his crop for the past yea.Prior to that he had no need to sell any,the poor chap struggled to keep a small business afloat for a couple of years but the bills kept mounting an mounting,an he eventually had to admit defeat,and throw himself at the mercy of the banks.His 5 or 6 customers/mates made life a little easier for himself and his young family. Also,a lot of people keep going on about his tick list.To those who voiced their concerns about that matter,I ask you this.Have you ever actually SEEN the layout of a tick list??You don't put peoples actual bloody names on them :rolleyes: My guess would be no,in the movies maybe but in real life? Nah.

endacl · 08-12-2014 09:05PM

A list with actual names on it wouldn't be a tick list. It'd be a thick list.

:pac:

Areyouwell · 08-12-2014 09:48PM

8/10 for thread originality.

0/10 for OP's believability.

harry Bailey esq · 08-12-2014 09:50PM

endacl wrote: »

A list with actual names on it wouldn't be a tick list. It'd be a thick list.

:pac:

Badda boom :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 09-12-2014 12:14AM

I found one not too long ago.
The heading was "pills yokes and trips" which I would have assumed was all the one but apparently what would I know then a list of one word made up names

"Froggy" 80€
"Lemon head" 200€
Some had extra tacked on

"McLovin" 60€ + 25€

Ain't no identifying information that's for sure, me wrecking my brains tryin to figure out who I might know that had a lemon head

NotASheeple · 09-12-2014 12:30AM

Areyouwell wrote: »

8/10 for thread originality.

0/10 for OP's believability.

Nothing wrong with the odd work of fiction in AH. It certainly beats the usual dole bashing thread spam.

harry Bailey esq · 09-12-2014 03:11AM

NotASheeple wrote: »

Nothing wrong with the odd work of fiction in AH. It certainly beats the usual dole bashing thread spam.

I'm not taking the piss fella,that's how it panned out.

hatrickpatrick · 09-12-2014 03:16AM

Dude sounds like an absolute legend

MaroonAndGreen · 09-12-2014 04:09AM

I dunno about this.... 8.5 grams is an awful lot to be giving out free to just one person.

I call búll****.

drug dealers using club card point system!!

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