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Anyone know any confirmed bachelors/ never met anyone special who were happy?

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2

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    costadeldole wrote: »
    I am a 37 year old man, never married, no kids.
    Am I happy? Yes. I don't feel the need, or desire to every marry or have kids.

    I can understand why people want to marry and have kids, but I value my freedom to do what I like with no responsibilities more. Selfish? Yes.

    I don't know how this could be considered selfish, I think people getting married just because they want to marry or think they should, is selfish.
    And don't get my started about those people who have kids so they have ' someone to take care of them when they are old'
    I don't think you're selfish at all.
    Just like I'm not!


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    #33
    Laura Palmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭Laura Palmer


    Agreed. Selfishness affects other people. If you don't have a spouse/kids, then there aren't other people in the equation!


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    #34
    karaokeman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,328 ✭✭✭karaokeman


    NotASheeple wrote: »
    Yes. My older brother is a bachelor and very happy with it. He learned a painful lesson many years ago when his woman betrayed him. Thankfully he wasn't married and they had no kids. Today he hasn't a care in the world and is totally minted.

    In all honesty, if your brother was tied to someone that treated him unfairly in the end he probably would of been better going on casual dates until he found someone he knew he could trust.

    Not saying he was just serious with someone for the sake of it, but there are probably cues people should be aware of in the progression of any relationship.


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    #35
    Saralee4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,077 ✭✭✭Saralee4


    NotASheeple wrote: »
    Yes. My older brother is a bachelor and very happy with it. He learned a painful lesson many years ago when his woman betrayed him. Thankfully he wasn't married and they had no kids. Today he hasn't a care in the world and is totally minted.

    In this case it sounds like he was hurt and now has decided that all relationships arent worth it based on the woman who betrayed him.


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    #36
    Saralee4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,077 ✭✭✭Saralee4


    NotASheeple wrote: »
    Yes. My older brother is a bachelor and very happy with it. He learned a painful lesson many years ago when his woman betrayed him. Thankfully he wasn't married and they had no kids. Today he hasn't a care in the world and is totally minted.

    In this case it sounds like he was hurt and now has decided that all relationships arent worth it based on the woman who betrayed him.


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    #37
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    NotASheeple wrote: »
    Yes. My older brother is a bachelor and very happy with it. He learned a painful lesson many years ago when his woman betrayed him. Thankfully he wasn't married and they had no kids. Today he hasn't a care in the world and is totally minted.

    What lesson did he learn?


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    #38
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,161 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    I'm in my late 30's and if I met someone and settled down, that'd be nice. If it never happened, I'd be ok with it too.

    I would like to be a dad, but unfortunately you kinda need a woman to do that.


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    #39
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,404 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    Grayson wrote: »
    I'm in my late 30's and if I met someone and settled down, that'd be nice. If it never happened, I'd be ok with it too.

    I would like to be a dad, but unfortunately you kinda need a woman to do that.

    For all the...they are having a marvellous time and its all great, I would say Grayson post is the reality for most people.

    Have you really been on boards 15 years wow.


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    #40
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,161 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    mariaalice wrote: »
    For all the...they are having a marvellous time and its all great, I would say Grayson post is the reality for most people.

    Have you really been on boards 15 years wow.

    No. I joined back when this was a board for people who played quake. then left for 14 years :)


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    #41
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    The thing is you can be in a relationship or a marriage with kids and not care what anyone else thinks either and be happy as well.

    It's a constant across every culture I'd imagine.

    "Are you seeing anyone yet?"

    "Aren't you two married yet? *nudge nudge*"

    "Congratulations! Have you set a date yet?"

    "Congratulations, are you expecting yet? *wink wink*"

    etc

    You can do what you want (get married/don't get married, live here/live abroad, have kids/no kids), when you want together as well so long as it's a healthy and fulfilling relationship and neither of you are needy or overly demanding.


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    #42
    bur
    Registered Users Posts: 1,689 ✭✭✭bur


    mariaalice wrote: »
    For all the...they are having a marvellous time and its all great, I would say Grayson post is the reality for most people.

    Have you really been on boards 15 years wow.

    Bit passive aggressive.

    The same goes for relationships and marriages. Brother is married to a woman who has gone a bit nuts the last few years, she's a nightmare but he stays for the kids. One uncle in a similar boat and another going through a messy divorce.


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    #43
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,404 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    bur wrote: »
    Bit passive aggressive.

    The same goes for relationships and marriages. Brother is married to a woman who has gone a bit nuts the last few years, she's a nightmare but he stays for the kids. One uncle in a similar boat and another going through a messy divorce.

    The way I see it is it all random that's not a popular view though because humans like to think they have some controlee over things.

    There are all kinds of situation people who are happy married, happy single and unhappy in both situations, happiness or rather contentment is an inner state and closely related to you underling temperament.


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    #44
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    You do realise that 'confirmed bachelor' is a euphemism for an older gay man that never came out?


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    #45
    Holsten
    Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    Never had any form of intimate relationship and be happy? I doubt that very much.

    Knowing men who have been trough the mill with ex wives and divorces etc. They can have very happy lives with a dog and casual partners.


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    #46
    Potatoeman
    Registered Users Posts: 4,265 ✭✭✭Potatoeman


    Birneybau wrote: »
    You do realise that 'confirmed bachelor' is a euphemism for an older gay man that never came out?

    Nah, people that say stuff like that are usually gossips that are unhappy in their own lives and feel the need to knock other people behind their backs.


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    #47
    blackbird98
    Registered Users Posts: 533 ✭✭✭blackbird98


    aren't all single men batchelors???


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    #48
    Fuhrer
    Registered Users Posts: 4,661 ✭✭✭Fuhrer


    blackbird98 wrote: »
    aren't all single men batchelors???


    Some are widows


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    #49
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Potatoeman wrote: »
    Nah, people that say stuff like that are usually gossips that are unhappy in their own lives and feel the need to knock other people behind their backs.

    Well, I heard it said of Joe Dolan, Cliff Richard...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=confirmed+bachelor
    Polite euphemism for a gay man (from Victorian times, on the premise that such a man will never marry.)


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    #50
    blackbird98
    Registered Users Posts: 533 ✭✭✭blackbird98


    Fuhrer wrote: »
    Some are widows

    Widowers even!!


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    #51
    Mesrine65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,969 ✭✭✭Mesrine65


    50 never married, no progeny & I'm happy out.
    Never wanted the whole marriage, kids thing, find relationships too much of a hassle, prefer my own company anyway.
    Free to roam & live my life as I see fit without the burden of responsibilities.


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    #52
    Joe prim
    Registered Users Posts: 919 ✭✭✭Joe prim


    I reckon batchelors are still human beans.


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    #53
    Saipanne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    Joe prim wrote: »
    I reckon batchelors are still human beans.

    Mods, close the thread please. It's only downhill from here.


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    #54
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Why is the thread about men only?

    I am over 70 and "alone"; never regretted it. We are individuals, not clones after all and being single gives me time and energy for many things that help others. Which matters to me.


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    #55
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Holsten wrote: »
    Never had any form of intimate relationship and be happy? I doubt that very much.

    Knowing men who have been trough the mill with ex wives and divorces etc. They can have very happy lives with a dog and casual partners.

    Assuring you yes. Very happy...


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    #56
    Potatoeman
    Registered Users Posts: 4,265 ✭✭✭Potatoeman


    Birneybau wrote: »
    Well, I heard it said of Joe Dolan, Cliff Richard...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=confirmed+bachelor

    I heard it used most when people dont know and just assume though.


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    #57
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Cosmicfox wrote: »
    I have an aunt in her fifties whose never married or had kids.

    She's very happy and has a very good career, always has plenty of money to spend on herself and to hand out to nephews and nieces. She did put up with some stick from her parents, especially since she's Spanish from a very catholic family but eventually they gave up pestering her and they got on better in the end. Some people just prefer their own company.


    That is not it at all.. You can relate to far more if you are not married as your aunt shows in her life.A much wider connectedness


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    #58
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,045 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Holsten wrote: »
    Never had any form of intimate relationship and be happy? I doubt that very much.

    An enlightened monk might disagree. Plus it can be a kind of you never miss what you've never had sort of thing.


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    #59
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Laura Palmer wrote: »
    I'm not sure if I'm convinced someone would be happy to live their entire life without ever having a partner of significance (for want of a better word) - but then again, that's just me thinking people think the same way I do.
    I do think it's definitely possible to be happy single for long periods though, and right up to well into one's 30s/40s. We assumed the bachelor life was the one for my uncle (and he seemed content too) and then he met herself in his late 40s, married and had kids.

    I don't agree that the above is selfish. Selfish to whom?

    Believe me, it is more than possible; I am proof of that. And I know many others.


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    #60
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    DoYouEvenLift wrote: »
    You should still think about having some sperm frozen as a 'just in case' for the future and then get a vasectomy - happy days. Also, what'd be your cutoff age for the youngest and oldest you'd hookup with?

    What a dreadful idea!


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    #61
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Laura Palmer wrote: »
    Agreed. Selfishness affects other people. If you don't have a spouse/kids, then there aren't other people in the equation!

    But there are. the whole world...


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