Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 02:59PM

bb1234567 wrote: »

Everyone finds fitter and sexier people more attractive because thats what those words mean. But you put younger in there like as if young =sexier. You can be older and still sexy and fit

If someones partner is younger, fitter, and sexier than you, or yours, you'lll have to get over it, it's your problem not theirs.

lufties · 28-09-2014 03:12PM

Wibbs wrote: »

To some degree we all "self delude" in relationships. In any event what's the issue? I'm not them or in their relationship so why would it worry me?

Outside of the whole "mail order" arrangements, I have encountered a bit of the snarkiness in age gap relationships I've had(10-15 year gaps, so nothing too mad). Men who made comments were coming from jealously as far as I was concerned. The women who made comments were the ones around my age who were usually single and as they aged added to their long list of criteria for what they wanted, nay demanded in a man. Yea real clever love, that's like sticking a Ferrari price tag on a Skoda. Might work at 20, ain't gonna fly at 40. And they knew it, hence the snarkiness at what they saw as "unfair competition" from younger women.

You are right, its just jealousy from a male side , and insecure women become snarky about it. I met an irish girl out the other night in london, we were having a right laugh. Then I was telling a story and mentioned my ex who was Filipina...I could see the glint in her eye just disappear, and whatever comment she made, felt like she was trying to shame me.

My ex who was english was the same, as soon as I mentioned that I dated Asian girls while living in hong kong, it felt like I became of lesser social value. Quite strange indeed.

ireland.man · 28-09-2014 03:29PM

So who here would actually avail of a mail order bride (or groom)?

EazyD · 28-09-2014 03:29PM

lufties wrote: »

You are right, its just jealousy from a male side , and insecure women become snarky about it. I met an irish girl out the other night in london, we were having a right laugh. Then I was telling a story and mentioned my ex who was Filipina...I could see the glint in her eye just disappear, and whatever comment she made, felt like she was trying to shame me.

My ex who was english was the same, as soon as I mentioned that I dated Asian girls while living in hong kong, it felt like I became of lesser social value. Quite strange indeed.

Funny you say that as I have direct experience of this. Even with female friends, they would always exhibit thinly veiled jealousy and sly digs when the topic of my gf came up. It's insecurity plain and simple.

lufties · 28-09-2014 03:32PM

EazyD wrote: »

Funny you say that as I have direct experience of this. Even with female friends, they would always exhibit thinly veiled jealousy and sly digs when the topic of my gf came up. It's insecurity plain and simple.

In fairness, on the flip side, If I had a female friend who had an asian man, I'd probably be a bit miffed. I wouldn't snipe and sneer though.

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 03:32PM

lufties wrote: »

You are right, its just jealousy from a male side , and insecure women become snarky about it. I met an irish girl out the other night in london, we were having a right laugh. Then I was telling a story and mentioned my ex who was Filipina...I could see the glint in her eye just disappear, and whatever comment she made, felt like she was trying to shame me.

My ex who was english was the same, as soon as I mentioned that I dated Asian girls while living in hong kong, it felt like I became of lesser social value. Quite strange indeed.

And yet the same girl would rightly date a hot asian lad in a heartbeat. It's like they feel suddenly threatened and insecure for some reason. Never a good idea to talk about previous sexual partners to a new one though, especially so if the last one were hot and asian.

EazyD · 28-09-2014 03:34PM

lufties wrote: »

In fairness, on the flip side, If I had a female friend who had an asian man, I'd probably be a bit miffed. I wouldn't snipe and sneer though.

Why would you be miffed though?

lufties · 28-09-2014 03:34PM

Foxmint wrote: »

And yet the same girl would rightly date a hot asian lad in a heartbeat. It's like they feel suddenly threatened and insecure for some reason.

That was the word I was looking for.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 03:37PM

Cheers for confirming you're on boards to have a go at Irish women Foxmint.

lufties wrote: »

In fairness, on the flip side, If I had a female friend who had an asian man, I'd probably be a bit miffed. I wouldn't snipe and sneer though.

What's there to be a bit miffed about?

You went out with a filipina didn't you?

lufties · 28-09-2014 03:41PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Cheers for confirming you're in boards to have a go at Irish women Foxmint.

What's there to be a bit miffed about?
You went out with a filipina didn't you?

because it is not very common in my experience, that may or may not count for much but I have lived in six countries including 2 asian ones.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 03:50PM

The mail order thing is a topic of its own - people are allowed to be of the opinion that it's not an ideal arrangement without being shut down by people who'd be the first to whinge "free thpeech!"
The issue is nothing to do with looks, it's to do with situation. Jealous of a man in his 60s who has to buy a wife. O...k...
Still though, nobody's stopping them.

Suspicion in relation to Irish people going out with Asian people in just standard relationships though... weird and irrational.
I don't know anyone whatsoever who has the above problem though, so I suspect instances of it are exaggerated in order to have a go at Irish women.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 03:53PM

lufties wrote: »

because it is not very common in my experience, that may or may not count for much but I have lived in six countries including 2 asian ones.

Ah ok, miffed as in surprised, rather than pissed off.

lufties · 28-09-2014 03:55PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

The mail order thing is a topic of its own - people are allowed to be of the opinion that it's not an ideal arrangement without being shut down by people who'd be the first to whinge "free thpeech!"
The issue is nothing to do with looks, it's to do with situation. Jealous of a man in his 60s who has to buy a wife. O...k...
Still though, nobody's stopping them.

Suspicion in relation to Irish people going out with Asian people in just standard relationships though... weird and irrational.
I don't know anyone whatsoever who has the above problem though, so I suspect instances of it are exaggerated in order to have a go at Irish women.

Why would anyone do that, shur ye're great aren't ye?

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 04:06PM

lufties wrote: »

Why would anyone do that, shur ye're great aren't ye?

Not great - a mixed bunch, but definitely not as dreadful as some people like to say here!

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 04:08PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Cheers for confirming you're on boards to have a go at Irish women Foxmint.

Rather than trying to continually pretend what other people have said, in some vain effort to hide, defend, and excuse such behaviors and attitudes as Irish, or male or female, you'll have to learn to differentiate between bitter jealous begrudging people, male or female, irish or otherwise.

lufties · 28-09-2014 04:09PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Not great - a mixed bunch, but definitely not as dreadful as some people like to say here!

I don't know too many great ones being honest, but i'm sure they exist.

bodice ripper · 28-09-2014 04:14PM

lufties wrote: »

I don't know too many great ones being honest, but i'm sure they exist.

maybe you have **** friends.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 04:18PM

Foxmint wrote: »

Rather than trying to continually pretend what other people have said

I agree, you *should* stop doing that.

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 04:19PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

I agree, you *should* stop doing that.

Quote the full text, rather than pretending yet again what I said.

Shakespeare's Sister · 28-09-2014 04:21PM

lufties wrote: »

I don't know too many great ones being honest, but i'm sure they exist.

Yes, you're right to be sure.
Weird, I know loads of lovely, attractive, intelligent Irish women.
Would it bias confirmation/self fulfilling prophecy at play? How come it's you that feels that way, yet many Irish men don't?

Foxmint · 28-09-2014 04:23PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Weird, I know loads of lovely, attractive, intelligent Irish women.

Keeping good company is a start

krudler · 28-09-2014 04:29PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Yes, you're right to be sure.
Weird, I know loads of lovely, attractive, intelligent Irish women.
Would it bias confirmation/self fulfilling prophecy at play? How come it's you that feels that way, yet many Irish men don't?

Smack of red pill off his posts alright

maninasia · 28-09-2014 04:31PM

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Sorry to hear about that OP. It's hard to believe some people are still like that in this day and age. It's probably jealousy on their part. If my mates were like that I'd quickly disown them.

You may find you won't have many friends or close family left from my experience, and my friends would be fairly liberal and well traveled. Irish women in particular get very defensive...stealing our men and all that. I saw first hand how a bunch of my Irish 'female friends' didn't bother to include my wife in their chat on a night out, plain rude if you ask me, and not their normal behaviour from previous observations.
The countryside is a lot worse than the big smoke from other accounts I've heard.

bluto63 · 28-09-2014 04:50PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Well maybe it was two years ago or she was involved with the embassys but wasn't the ambassador. I definitely talked to her about my work permit and she was on an embassy stint. If I was gonna bull****, I wouldn't lie about something you can find on Google.

Interesting username

MonkieSocks · 28-09-2014 04:51PM

Once you go Asian....you don't want Caucasian

deseil · 28-09-2014 04:51PM

maninasia wrote: »

You may find you won't have many friends or close family left from my experience, and my friends would be fairly liberal and well traveled. Irish women in particular get very defensive...stealing our men and all that. I saw first hand how a bunch of my Irish 'female friends' didn't bother to include my wife in their chat on a night out, plain rude if you ask me, and not their normal behaviour from previous observations.
The countryside is a lot worse than the big smoke from other accounts I've heard.

Seriously man as other posters have said you need new friends, they sound horrible and rude and not the sort of people you need as friends.

Son Of A Vidic · 28-09-2014 04:52PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

Nope.

TheBeardedLady · 28-09-2014 05:40PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Not really. I was talking about a particular kind of individual, not all women, nor most indeed. .

Single women in their 40s from what I gather.

Fact of the matter is, my standards when I was a hot young 20 year old were:

A man who likes me back. And who calls me. And acknowledges my existence.

My standards at 34 and a half having lived my life, having been in a few long-termers and having a bit more self-respect, more life experience and more going for me in terms of personality/**** to talk about are more extensive. I won't settle if I'm single again.

I can imagine yours differ now to when you were 20. Your comments using metaphors of cars wasn't nice no matter what way you dress it up.

You're a man knocking on the door of 50 and I've seen you talk about your standards now in a woman and how you're a lot less tolerant of **** and how you'd rather remain single than get involved. You've talked about how you've dated neurotic loonies who I'm assuming were good-looking and young. They didn't work out, so you know your previous comment was rubbish. Looks make up for that to a degree but not in the long run.

I looked "better" at 25 years old than I do now but I'd rather spend day in, day out with me at 34 and I've no doubt I'll be a more interesting, whole person at 40 then the insecure girl I was at 20. In terms of the whole package, I'd say I'm fairly Ferrari now compared to back then and I say that in all seriousness.

Funnily enough, I'm better at relationships as well. Women don't DEMAND anything off men. It's their choice to be with that woman or not but I don't see why they should settle, particularly after having waded through so much bollocks in their 20s and 30s.

Pity you had to reduce it to looks though and label women by car names based on solely their appearance. Shallow to say the least.

Edit: The token dig at jealous men doesn't make up for it - you took the claws out for the older women only.

lufties · 28-09-2014 05:53PM

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Single women in their 40s from what I gather.

Fact of the matter is, my standards when I was a hot young 20 year old were:

A man who likes me back. And who calls me. And acknowledges my existence.

My standards at 34 and a half having lived my life, having been in a few long-termers and having a bit more self-respect, more life experience and more going for me in terms of personality/**** to talk about are more extensive. I won't settle if I'm single again.

I can imagine yours differ now to when you were 20. Your comments using metaphors of cars wasn't nice no matter what way you dress it up.

You're a man knocking on the door of 50 and I've seen you talk about your standards now in a woman and how you're a lot less tolerant of **** and how you'd rather remain single than get involved. You've talked about how you've dated neurotic loonies who I'm assuming were good-looking and young. They didn't work out, so you know your previous comment was rubbish. Looks make up for that to a degree but not in the long run.

I looked "better" at 25 years old than I do now but I'd rather spend day in, day out with me at 34 and I've no doubt I'll be a more interesting, whole person at 40 then the insecure girl I was at 20. In terms of the whole package, I'd say I'm fairly Ferrari now compared to back then and I say that in all seriousness.

Funnily enough, I'm better at relationships as well. Women don't DEMAND anything off men. It's their choice to be with that woman or not but I don't see why they should settle, particularly after having waded through so much bollocks in their 20s and 30s.

Pity you had to reduce it to looks though and label women by car names based on solely their appearance. Shallow to say the least.

Edit: The token dig at jealous men doesn't make up for it - you took the claws out for the older women only.

Well I agree with much of what you said, but I don't think wibbs said anything about looks with the car analogy. I've had many dates with women, mostly average looking in all honesty ,but they weren't even interesting to back it up. I felt I was on a threadmill with my last gf, on the second date she said she wouldn't go out with someone with depression.

I take full responsibility for attracting these kind of women, im not blaming anyone but myself. All I'm saying is it's not as easy for men as you think, it doesn't suprise why there is such bitterness towards women on these forums, which is quite saddening.

TheBeardedLady · 28-09-2014 06:00PM

Well I agree with much of what you said, but I don't think wibbs said anything about looks with the car analogy. I've had many dates with women, mostly average looking in all honesty ,but they weren't even interesting to back it up. I felt I was on a threadmill with my ladt gf, on the second date she said she wouldn't go out with someone with depression.

Yes, he did.

I take full responsibility for attracting these kind of women, im not blaming anyone but myself. All I'm saying is it's not as easy for men as you think, it doesn't suprise why there is such bitterness towards women on these forums, which is quite saddening.

Lufties, with all due respect, it's not that you attracted these kinds of women (I've attracted totally insane men in my time) but the fact that you made the choice to stay with them. You stayed with a woman who you had "issues" with from the very first week you dated. Remember? You talked about it on Boards. YOU made that choice.

Staying with women because she's not a "Plain Jane" or a "Common Girl" i.e. hot but who treats you like muck....your fault. Take responsibility for that. Learn from it. Move on.

Hot, kind, sound women exist.

Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

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