Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

For at least the tenth time, I had an Irish cunt last night turn from friendly into a "You're being taken for a ride" or "can you not find an Irish girl?" when I said my girlfriend was Vietnamese.

I was by myself playing pool in the bar after a really tough week at work and I had just given him some advice about travelling and stuff. For about ten minutes, I listened to his "I don't agree with that, go home and find a proper girl" speech and then I just flipped, called him out as a racist wanker and then he tried to start a fight. Thankfully, his older friend got involved and made him leave.


My brother had the same with his eastern European wife. My friends back home said it all about him.

The Irish ambassador to Vietnam (I hope she sees this) on her last night six months ago or a year ago was drunk, came onto me and when I told her "I'm with my girlfriend" who was standing next to me, said "Is she with you for your money?". This woman had been here for three years and that was her opinion.

In Galway a few years ago, one of the lads took home his Japanese girlfriend and everyone had a field day talking about it.

One of my friends came to Hanoi a few months ago and told me about "a terrible rumor that I had married an Asian".

And then there's been all the Irish passing through Hanoi who had to give their backward opinion.


No other nationality has ever said a word.. It's literally always the Irish. And then people wonder why I don't go to Irish bars or visit home.

Collie D

There are two U's in rumour

On topic: I get the same about my girlfriend from Mullingar. She does earn more than me though.

Canis Lupus

Won't lie to you Marge. Whenever I see an older dude with an SE Asian women I think mailorder/relationship of convenience.

If they're same age though... I think lucky bastard. Living here in Australia and it's very common as the asian population is massive compared to back home so I don't really pay attention to it anymore.

The Backwards Man

Maybe it's your circle of friends.

For all the faults of this country, I'd say ignorance is fairly well down the list once you bypass the altar railkissers, the Facebook commentators and the plain racist. In my own village, one fella is married to an Indonesian, a girl is co habiting with a Senegalese girl, and my own brother is married to a Brazilian, and not one eyelid is batted. Ireland is second only to dareisay Britain in terms of tolerance IMO, believe it or not.

dimcoin

Collie D wrote:

There are two U's in rumour

That's just a rumor.
People that are dim enough not to conceptualize the thought of choosing a partner outside ones race are not worth the time.

--LOS--

just small-mindedness

My family would be the same, it's very important for them to know where someone is from and if they're from the countryside they're automatically more trustworthy or something, it's weird. Every family meetup will inevitably turn into racial humour, it's pretty uncomfortable to be around, on the inside I'm face-palming them. Better dealt with at a distance I find

GabbyJay

Funny thing is that most wealthy Vietnamese are far richer than your average Irish guy. A lot of poverty in the countryside, but when someone is from a rich family there's big money there and they spend $10k on their sofa. That's not to get started on Singapore / Hong Kong / Japan where even there is serious cash flying around even in ordinary families. I think the ignorant Irish guy will eventually cop on to the fact that his souped up Nissan Micra actually isn't so impressive outside of Offaly.

mikemac1

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The Irish ambassador to Vietnam (I hope she sees this) on her last night six months ago or a year ago was drunk, came onto me and when I told her "I'm with my girlfriend" who was standing next to me, said "Is she with you for your money?". This woman had been here for three years and that was her opinion.

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

john the one

mikemac1 wrote: »

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

Busted!

pickarooney

mikemac1 wrote: »

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

Is 'ladyboy' one of your reactions?

JONJO THE MISER

Could you not find yourself a nice Irish girl, them foreign types will have your head turned in no time.

mikemac1

mikemac1 wrote: »

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

Well maybe it was two years ago or she was involved with the embassys but wasn't the ambassador. I definitely talked to her about my work permit and she was on an embassy stint. If I was gonna bull****, I wouldn't lie about something you can find on Google.

R.D. aka MR.D

I'm aware this is AH but i'll give you a serious response.

I live in Asia, have done for 3 years now. I'm female.

Lots of my friends are guys (none are Irish though) and lots of them have for want of a better word 'native' girlfriends. My OH is American and god love him I guess Irish is exotic to him! But he has experienced the opposite. 'Would you not find a local, it's easier, they're less hassle blah blah blah'. He's been looked down on for having a western girlfriend.

A lot of the guys here have the opinion that Asian girls are 'easier'. Now, I've never been to Vietnam so can't comment. It wasn't like this in Korea but here in China there is definitely a set of girls who actively seek out foreigners for their passport if you know what I mean.

So I don't think the situation is as cut and dry as Irish people being racist. There are a lot of opinions on 'mixed' relationships here in Asia. Some guys take advantage of women here and some people are genuinely in love. I've seen both first hand. The people who are saying negative things to you just have their own preconceptions and it's their own lot in life if they aren't able to move past them.

mikemac1

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well maybe it was two years ago or she was involved with the embassys but wasn't the ambassador..

Did she have a tray of Ferrero Rocher? If she didn't then she wasn't the ambassador

Buona Fortuna

I found it hard to vote in the poll.

I think if you were middle-aged and she were early 20s, I'd say Mail Order.

If you were closer in age say 5-10 years, or if she were a heart sugeon or similar I'd say the lucky fecker.

RobAMerc

If you were a 50 year old fat bloke and she was a 26 yo hottie whom you couldn't even communicate with I have to be honest I would think "Mail Order" too. But the fact is I think we are one of the most xenophobic / racist countries on the planet.

I am born and bred here but of foreign born parent, I therefore look different and have a non national name.

In close to half century living here, I can honestly say that despite having a good grasp of the Irish language, an unmistakably country Irish accent, playing GAA and enjoying the Irish social scene as much as anyone else, there is rarely a day goes by without it being pointed out to me that I am not Irish and "what would I know ?" about anything based on Irish culture.

I hate to take this off topic but this in my opinion is the crux of your issue too.

kneemos

I'd say take the chip off your shoulder,stop looking for things to get offended by and get on with the life.

suicide_circus

RobAMerc wrote: »

But the fact is I think we are one of the most xenophobic / racist countries on the planet.

Not even close

crazygeryy

That is the worst poll ever.

Timberrrrrrrr

suicide_circus wrote: »

Not even close

Definitely top 10.

suicide_circus

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Definitely top 10.

That's the spirit

Soft Falling Rain

Jesus, your friends sound awfully condescending OP. In fact, there's something awfully insulting about comments such as "would ya not meet a nice Irish girl?" because it suggests that you haven't tried enough, and that women of the same nationality are "harder to get" than a foreign woman.

They're not the kind of people I'd surround myself with op, they sound like a horrible bunch of *****.

Don't bother with what others think OP.

If you love each other what others think is irrelevant.

MortGoldman

I get it constantly, cos I'm an ugly bastard and I've a hot Asian girlfriend (Hong Kong born, but raised in Ireland).

I just put it down to jealousy now, you wouldn't be mail ordering a girl who wasn't attractive!

RobAMerc

suicide_circus wrote: »

Not even close

Not exactly a great argument there, I have lived in a few counties in my time and have never been subject to the levels of racism I have in my own.

I think I am qualified to voice my opinion whats yours based on ?

suicide_circus

RobAMerc wrote: »

I think I am qualified to voice my opinion whats yours based on ?

Having even the most basic grasp of world affairs and common sense.

Timberrrrrrrr

suicide_circus wrote: »

Having even the most basic grasp of world affairs and common sense.

So never been out of Ireland?

Cee-Jay-Cee

How can we give an honest opinion when you never told is how you met etc etc? From your OP yeah it sounds like mail order bride as you told us nothing about her, her age, job, or how you met, only what your friends and others said.

Day Lewin

OP, forgive me if I mention, you seem to have some horrible friends. And to drink in bars with unpleasant people who are nasty when drunk.
Its always been quite normal to date or marry a person from another country or continent, or who speaks another language. I bet every one of us could mention someone from our class at school who had a parent from another culture. [if not their own parent]
I have literally never heard anyone make the kind of snide remarks you complain of.
(apologies to Rob-A-Merc above)
[I know the conventional-appearing have the luxury of not experiencing racism] - [but still we can try to not be GUILTY of it] !!
- I am local, but my best friend at school was of Dutch parentage...I can think of dozens of couples of differing nationalities and so can everyone, I bet.
Why not just say "Love laughs at borders" and find yourself some new and nicer friends?

suicide_circus

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

So never been out of Ireland?

Potatoe

hognef

My Irish wife is from a significantly poorer country than I. I've never heard any negative comments because of that.

RobAMerc

suicide_circus wrote: »

Having even the most basic grasp of world affairs and common sense.

Wow, what my friend is an utterly horse sh1te answer.
I imagine you disagree with anything that is disparaging of Ireland, I'm not going to bother.

Rosy Posy

RobAMerc wrote: »

I am born and bred here but of foreign born parent, I therefore look different and have a non national name.

In close to half century living here, I can honestly say that despite having a good grasp of the Irish language, an unmistakably country Irish accent, playing GAA and enjoying the Irish social scene as much as anyone else, there is rarely a day goes by without it being pointed out to me that I am not Irish and "what would I know ?" about anything based on Irish culture.

I hate to take this off topic but this in my opinion is the crux of your issue too.

Would it maybe be an urban/rural thing? Or possibly jackeen/culchie? Because I'm in the same position as RobAMerc above and while I experienced a lot of ignorance growing up in the eighties (staring in the street, being abused as a 'Spanish student'), from the nineties onwards I've found Dublin at least to be fairly multiethnic and tolerant. Not to say that I haven't experienced the odd bit of casual racism but I'm lucky and discerning enough not to make friends with ar$eholes.

leggo

I see it nearly every day in work: man in his 50's/60's, very creepy vibe and poor social skills making unwanted inappropriate comments to anyone who'll listen, walking around with a young, gorgeous (or even normal-looking) Asian/Eastern European girl who he's barely acknowledging and who seems to be in a permanent state of eye-roll with him. That's not tough to tell.

Worked with a girl from Romania (came from a poor background) a while back who basically told me it was the objective or her and her mates to go out and find someone old and rich. The older the better. It's more sad than anything else that that's the objective but it's very much the case with a lot of cultures. For her the idea of finding someone who liked and valued her as a person, and just made her happy, was something that happened in movies or to saps who didn't see the big picture. She'd tried it before, got hurt, never again.

Normal Irish guy with normal female of around the same age from a different country, though? No questions asked.

suicide_circus

RobAMerc wrote: »

Wow, what my friend is an utterly horse sh1te answer.
I imagine you disagree with anything that is disparaging of Ireland, I'm not going to bother.

You stated that ireland is one of the most racist on the planet. If you truly believe that I suggest you read a newspaper or open a book, you'll be in for a shock. Is Ireland perfect? No. Is Ireland even particularly welcoming? No. Is it one of the most xenophobic places on earth? Get a grip.

Buona Fortuna

leggo wrote: »

I see it nearly every day in work: man in his 50's/60's, very creepy vibe and poor social skills making unwanted inappropriate comments to anyone who'll listen, walking around with a young, gorgeous (or even normal-looking) Asian/Eastern European girl who he's barely acknowledging and who seems to be in a permanent state of eye-roll with him. That's not tough to tell.

Worked with a girl from Romania (came from a poor background) a while back who basically told me it was the objective or her and her mates to go out and find someone old and rich. The older the better. It's more sad than anything else that that's the objective but it's very much the case with a lot of cultures. For her the idea of finding someone who liked and valued her as a person, and just made her happy, was something that happened in movies or to saps who didn't see the big picture. She'd tried it before, got hurt, never again.

Normal Irish guy with normal female of around the same age from a different country, though? No questions asked.

anncoates

Nobody has the right to pass judgement on love (you long time) between two people.

Daveysil15

Sorry to hear about that OP. It's hard to believe some people are still like that in this day and age. It's probably jealousy on their part. If my mates were like that I'd quickly disown them.

RobAMerc

suicide_circus wrote: »

You stated that ireland is one of the most racist on the planet. If you truly believe that I suggest you read a newspaper or open a book, you'll be in for a shock. Is Ireland perfect? No. Is Ireland even particularly welcoming? No. Is it one of the most xenophobic places on earth? Get a grip.

You still have not given a reasonable argument other than I am ignorant or misinformed.

Just because certain groups get a voice through media does not mean its a widely held belief.

That's not to say there are not counties worse than us, but we are bad.

triple nipple

RobAMerc wrote:

In close to half century living here, I can honestly say that despite having a good grasp of the Irish language, an unmistakably country Irish accent, playing GAA and enjoying the Irish social scene as much as anyone else, there is rarely a day goes by without it being pointed out to me that I am not Irish and "what would I know ?" about anything based on Irish culture.

people are dicks !!!

franglan

This other bloke OP was probably wearing a baggy shirt or a small for his size superdry t-shirt on top of his beer belly, was generally greasy and may have worn a necklace as an accompaniment. He also smelled slightly of BO. I'd bet he doesn't have a girlfriend, if he does she's rank and in summary he's a narrow minded wAnker.

fits

Its not just Ireland, outside major cities in countries like the netherlands, Germany and elsewhere people can be pretty conservative and insular, and racist too. It might not be immediately apparent but definitely there. Added to this Ireland was genetically homogeneous until very recently. I barely saw anyone not Irish looking as a child. I guess few were mad enough to move to Ireland until it liberalised a bit.

Mantis Toboggan

I've found the Europeans to be very racist, much more than us, especially France and Germany, and I've heard it's very bad in countries like Spain, Turkey and Netherlands.

1stimpressions

A few points.

People are naturally disposed to being racist.
If you don't think your way out of it you'll stay there.
Irish people are no more racist then any other country.
Irish people passing through Vietnam are more likely to air their views to another Irish person. You might be posting this on boards.de if you were German.
Your drinking buddies suck.

As an aside I've had two long term girlfriends here in Thailand. Both were more than six years older than me. Am I a goldigger?

mikemac1

RobAMerc wrote: »

I am born and bred here but of foreign born parent, I therefore look different and have a non national name.

Why does your name matter?

Never stopped Eamonn DeValera reaching the top

DLMA23

RobAMerc wrote: »

But the fact is I think we are one of the most xenophobic / racist countries on the planet.

I am born and bred here but of foreign born parent, I therefore look different and have a non national name.

In close to half century living here, I can honestly say that despite having a good grasp of the Irish language, an unmistakably country Irish accent, playing GAA and enjoying the Irish social scene as much as anyone else, there is rarely a day goes by without it being pointed out to me that I am not Irish and "what would I know ?" about anything based on Irish culture.

+1 Ditto

Omackeral

The chap saying Ireland is one of the most racist countries in the world must have been bitten by the hyperbole bug or else is hanging out with some absolute backwards cretins. Watch any football team that has a black footballer playing against the likes of Serbia and get back to me. The whole stadium whistles and monkey chants. That's indicative of some societies, not ours. Try speaking to a white South African about his darker skinned compatriots, even a generation after Apartheid ended. Try being a westerner in the more fundamental parts of the Middle East. Even try wearing a Turban in the Deep South and you'll be deemed a 'terrorist' by some, even though you'd be most likely a Sikh.

Ireland is far from being near the top of the racist pyramid.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Maybe you're a bit unfortunate looking OP, and maybe your girlfriend is a cracker, so obviously people would think you bought her if you're punching above your weight.

Beaner1

South East asian women are in it for the money, sorry. That's just their culture. The european male will never see it that way though.

Timberrrrrrrr

Beaner1 wrote: »

South East asian women are in it for the money, sorry. That's just their culture. The european male will never see it that way though.

What an utterly idiotic post.

ScumLord

Deleted User wrote: »

One of my friends came to Hanoi a few months ago and told me about "a terrible rumor that I had married an Asian".

That's like something you'd hear in Fr. Ted.

Some people are dicks, I'm sure you meet as many Irish people that either don't care where you're girlfriend is from or are pleased for you. I wouldn't get upset about the naysayers, just treat them like the children they are.