I Can't Believe I Just Did/Said That ....!

Larianne · 17-09-2014 08:23PM

My name is URL wrote: »

All I know is that now I want a flan dish full of stew

You'd be following that piece of carrot all around the friggin dish with your spoon!
No thank you!!

... I can't think of a good story here.

FloatingVoter · 17-09-2014 08:25PM

That time I put cornflakes in the vodka. It was no accident. According to Jah Wobble it was God telling me I needed feeding up.

paperclip2 · 17-09-2014 08:27PM

Absently chopping cherry tomatoes into my porridge instead of strawberries is something I've done on a couple of occasions.

czechlin · 17-09-2014 08:30PM

bitemeluis wrote: »

A social gathering of Lemon, Limes and Grapefruit

You forgot oranges, that's a bit mean! :pac:

The J Stands for Jay · 17-09-2014 08:34PM

"I'm going to have to call you back; I think I've lost my phone."

Kev.OC · 17-09-2014 08:47PM

Was topping up the sugar bowl last week, but instead of picking up a bag of sugar from the press I took the bag of porridge oats beside it...

whiskeyman · 17-09-2014 08:49PM

If I shower in the evening after coming home from sports, I've often thrown my dirty socks and jocks in the toilet, thinking it was the linen basket... in a proper slam dunk motion for added effect too!! Only seeing it leave my hand do I realise... Doh!!

Thankfully, never mixed it up the other way around!

LenaClaire · 17-09-2014 08:59PM

I failed badly at making a cup tea at work a few years ago :

Me making tea:
add tea bags to cup
add hot water
take un opened sachet of sugar
throw sugar directly into cup WITHOUT opening packet
stare at cup with sugar packet floating in it
10 second processing delay
realize what I have just done
stick fingers into boiling hot water to get sugar out
stick fingers in mouth to cool them off
stare at cup
say screw it
scoop out sugar packet
add milk
drink tea anyway

Chancer3001 · 17-09-2014 08:59PM

Turned on the car.

Sat there for a second, then tried to turn on the car again. Horrible scraping sound out of the ignition.

Tail Docker · 17-09-2014 08:59PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Do not feel to bad OP, I was chatting to a lady today who IS convinced that Portugal is a province and part of Spain.

It is though, really, isn't it? A slightly ruraller province..

Call Me Jimmy · 17-09-2014 09:04PM

took the match out, lit it and put it in front of my mouth 'this cigarette ain't lighting' but only because it wasn't there coz I hadn't taken it out.

LorMal · 17-09-2014 09:48PM

Said 'thanks Love' to Barman when he served me my pint the other night. Not the right thing to do.

Mam of 4 · 17-09-2014 09:54PM

Have went to take the first mouthful of my first coffee of the morning and realised it's hot water and sugar. Worst part is I've done this more than once

fleet_admiral · 17-09-2014 10:08PM

I cant function without a coffee when I get up. Ive been known to put the coffee jar in the fridge and the milk in the press the odd time

Scruffy...The Janitor · 17-09-2014 10:15PM

Ruu wrote: »

Used glass lens cleaner spray inside of crystal spray deodorant a few weeks ago, nearly always reach for the bottle.

Ha ha. I Think you need to clean your gla...........oh.

kingchess · 17-09-2014 10:28PM

back when I was a smoker 25 years ago and driving home from work I lit my cigarette with a match(not easy when driving but it was a quite and straight country road) and then threw the cig instead of the match out the window,(how times change-I would not dream of throwing even a match out the window these days)

Jake Rugby Walrus666 · 17-09-2014 10:34PM

kingchess wrote: »

I lit my cigarette with a match(not easy when driving but it was a quite and straight country road) and then threw the cig instead of the match out the window

Were you able to find the smoke?

lazeedaisy · 17-09-2014 10:35PM

The other day I forgot to turn on slow cooker, first time in EVER,

No dinner for me,

Seriously, make a massive pot of stew, tastes better every day.

The King of Moo · 17-09-2014 10:50PM

I one accidentally pis*ed in the sink instead of the urinal in a public toilet, even though I was completely sober and alert. It was the middle of the afternoon in college and after a few seconds pis*ing I thought "this urinal is very high." Then it hit me.

It was a horrible feeling, thinking I'd have to wait there till I finished, hoping nobody would come in.
Panicking, I flexed to hold the stream in for a moment, then quickly crossed over to the urinal before the stream started again.

I've no idea how it happened, but at least it's not as weird as eating stew every night.

endacl · 17-09-2014 10:56PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

I one accidentally pis*ed in the sink instead of the urinal in a public toilet, even though I was completely sober and alert. It was the middle of the afternoon in college and after a few seconds pis*ing I thought "this urinal is very high." Then it hit me.

It was a horrible feeling, thinking I'd have to wait there till I finished, hoping nobody would come in.
Panicking, I flexed to hold the stream in for a moment, then quickly crossed over to the urinal before the stream started again.

I've no idea how it happened, but at least it's not as weird as eating stew every night.

I did exactly the same thing! In school, Monday morning after a wild weekend, I went in to the jacks, turned left as usual, and in mid flow thought to myself, 'this pisspot seems a little higher than usual?'.

In my hungover state, I'd accidentally gone into the ladies. It was an all male school, and I was in the staff ladies toilet. Full bladder too. I can't remember a pish ever taking so long...

MentalMario · 17-09-2014 11:02PM

Being asked if I saw some of The Fappening pics, I reply with I may have come across them alright. Que tonnes of girls laughing. Awkward...

...only funny because it was true :O

Jarrod · 17-09-2014 11:12PM

LenaClaire wrote: »

I failed badly at making a cup tea at work a few years ago :

Me making tea:
add tea bags to cup
add hot water
take un opened sachet of sugar
throw sugar directly into cup WITHOUT opening packet
stare at cup with sugar packet floating in it
10 second processing delay
realize what I have just done
stick fingers into boiling hot water to get sugar out
stick fingers in mouth to cool them off
stare at cup
say screw it
scoop out sugar packet
add milk
drink tea anyway

Had a similar experience:
Made tea and dipped a biscuit in said tea
Held it in there for too long and it broke off
Stick my hand in to scoop it out, the biscuit is all mushy and squishes through my fingers and I burn my hand
I grab a metal tea spoon to scoop out the biscuit and eat it, thus burning my mouth
So, I ended up with a burnt hand, burnt mouth and a ****ty cup of biscuit tea.

Jawgap · 17-09-2014 11:16PM

Have picked up the phone at home to make a call and automatically hit "9" for an outside line:o. ...........actually do that quite regularly.

Recently, I've begun to assume that all laptop and computer screens are touch enabled.....

sadie06 · 17-09-2014 11:17PM

Hungover many moons ago in work on a Monday morning. Went to loo to put on some makeup, blotted lips with tissue after applying lipstick, then threw the lipstick into the toilet instead of the tissue. Time stood still as I processed what had just happened. :-)

azul · 17-09-2014 11:24PM

Where's the feckin box of cerial? You just put it in the fridge!!

Karmella · 17-09-2014 11:26PM

Once when I was on the treadmill at the gym I kinda tripped over myself and went flying off the end. Jumped up in that 'nothing to see here' kind of way and promptly stepped back up on the treadmill - only the bloody thing was still running so I immediately went flying off again.

Morto.

syklops · 17-09-2014 11:29PM

It took me 3 years of living abroad wondering why the Jamie Oliver stuff and Irn Bru was in the ethnic section, until I figured out why.

syklops · 17-09-2014 11:34PM

sadie06 wrote: »

Hungover many moons ago in work on a Monday morning. Went to loo to put on some makeup, blotted lips with tissue after applying lipstick, then threw the lipstick into the toilet instead of the tissue. Time stood still as I processed what had just happened. :-)

Very jet lagged in a hotel in Boston(Yeah Boston, but I was tired first and then jet lagged), having breakfast and stirred my pot of tea to strengthen it, and then poured the milk into the pot. Then realised what I did. Then felt like a fool. Then left, ashamed. Then met some equally jet lagged and tired and hungover Romanians and told them what I did and they felt my pain.

FanadMan · 18-09-2014 02:38AM

At least once a week I'll get into the shower and wonder why I can't see properly..........because I keep forgetting to take off my feckin glasses!

Quite a few times when making coffee I'll reach for the tin of gravy granules instead of the Millicano. I know one is red and the other is silver but the hand just grabs the wrong one :

FloatingVoter · 18-09-2014 02:47AM

Having a bath. I sink in. Nice and relaxed and realise the ****ing towel is downstairs in the wash. Cue wet naked man searching for spare towel. This happens on a regular basis which leads me to think I have a mental gap regarding towels. I blame Douglas Adams.

I Can't Believe I Just Did/Said That ....!

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