I Can't Believe I Just Did/Said That ....!

Ditch · 17-09-2014 07:28PM #1

We all have these moments. Call them " Blonde ". " Senior ". Not to be confused with accidents. I'm talking about those transient times when eye, hand and brain fleetingly lose all contact.

I eat stew. Every night. I make it in my slow cooker and ladle it onto my glass flan dish. On my tray. Bring it in here and nom nom nom. Every night. Ye'd think I'd have got the hang of it, by now ....?

Other night, I came in here. Sat down and prepared to enjoy. Till, looking down at my lap I thought; " Hang on ..... Where's the fcuking Dish?!? "

What have You managed, AH?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 17-09-2014 07:30PM

Stew every night out of a flan dish?

You're a weirdo.

The_Valeyard · 17-09-2014 07:30PM

Do not feel to bad OP, I was chatting to a lady today who IS convinced that Portugal is a province and part of Spain.

Kovu · 17-09-2014 07:31PM

Laughed at the cat asleep on the armchair an hour ago.
Came in 20 minutes later while looking at my phone and *plonk* sat on the cat.

Mr_Red · 17-09-2014 07:34PM

Yes my OH has these issues all the time

17-09-2014 07:34PM

I was on the phone to someone who was shadowing my citrix session, they asked "which file" and I said "that one" and I pointed to the file. With my finger.

DLMA23 · 17-09-2014 07:35PM

Mmmm...stew

The Backwards Man · 17-09-2014 07:36PM

I made a raisin scone earlier, forgot to put the bloody raisins in it.

Ficheall · 17-09-2014 07:42PM

I want some stew

Can we come around for dinner, OP?

Adyx · 17-09-2014 07:45PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I made a raisin scone earlier, forgot to put the bloody raisins in it.

Lucky escape :cool:

padd b1975 · 17-09-2014 07:45PM

Ditch wrote: »

We all have these moments. Call them " Blonde ". " Senior ". Not to be confused with accidents. I'm talking about those transient times when eye, hand and brain fleetingly lose all contact.

I eat stew. Every night. I make it in my slow cooker and ladle it onto my glass flan dish. On my tray. Bring it in here and nom nom nom. Every night. Ye'd think I'd have got the hang of it, by now ....?

Other night, I came in here. Sat down and prepared to enjoy. Till, looking down at my lap I thought; " Hang on ..... Where's the fcuking Dish?!? "

What have You managed, AH?

Where the fcuk is here???

Sterling Archer · 17-09-2014 07:47PM

I've often been driving home playing music from my phone, and had a mini panic as I think sh*t did I leave my phone at work again

endacl · 17-09-2014 07:48PM

Forgot to put me trousers on today.

Again.

Nib · 17-09-2014 07:49PM

Frantically search for my glasses all the time before I realise I'm wearing them.

Ruu · 17-09-2014 07:50PM

Used glass lens cleaner spray inside of crystal spray deodorant a few weeks ago, nearly always reach for the bottle.

The_Valeyard · 17-09-2014 07:51PM

You mean like when you accidentally tried to put it in the a** ?

greedygoblin · 17-09-2014 07:56PM

Once, when having breakfast I poured milk into a glass while simultaneously pouring orange juice into my cereal.

It was not nice.

Ditch · 17-09-2014 07:59PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I was on the phone to someone who was shadowing my citrix session, they asked "which file" and I said "that one" and I pointed to the file. With my finger.

That actually reminds me of the best blonde joke I've ever come across .....

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square
mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

:pac:

J Mysterio · 17-09-2014 08:01PM

Ditch wrote: »

We all have these moments. Call them " Blonde ". " Senior ". Not to be confused with accidents. I'm talking about those transient times when eye, hand and brain fleetingly lose all contact.

I eat stew. Every night. I make it in my slow cooker and ladle it onto my glass flan dish. On my tray. Bring it in here and nom nom nom. Every night. Ye'd think I'd have got the hang of it, by now ....?

Other night, I came in here. Sat down and prepared to enjoy. Till, looking down at my lap I thought; " Hang on ..... Where's the fcuking Dish?!? "

What have You managed, AH?

How long have you been eating stew every night for?

Irish stew?

I am pie · 17-09-2014 08:03PM

Leitrim man dies from massive stew overdose.

Nib · 17-09-2014 08:03PM

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

Birneybau · 17-09-2014 08:04PM

Nib wrote: »

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

You're too young to know.

17-09-2014 08:06PM

Ditch wrote: »

That actually reminds me of the best blonde joke I've ever come across .....

Heh, yeh, imagine being blonde.

<.<
>.>

Nib wrote: »

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

Sorry, it's a virtual desktop on your puter. It's a pain in the bleedin' tits.

I, um, work in IT

Mariasofia · 17-09-2014 08:06PM

Lots of times over the summer I put the dinner in the oven, lay out in the sun and came in an hour later starving to find I hadnt turned the oven on.....
I am blonde though..... :O

Wabbit Ears · 17-09-2014 08:07PM

A citrix session is like BDSM but instead of rubber whips and chains and stuff you torture yourself with timeouts, laggy connections and sh1t applications that have to be run in citrix because there so cr@p they only run in this ancient virtualised environment.

This morning I said to myself that i should put my laptop bag with both laptops on it by the door so I wouldn't forget them. Realised when I got to work I had forgotten them.

i also had to edit this post because I forgot to actually write my response to the topic.

FloatingVoter · 17-09-2014 08:09PM

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

A citrix session is like BDSM but instead of rubber whips and chains and stuff you torture yourself with timeouts, laggy connections and sh1t applications that have to be run in citrix because there so cr@p they only run in this ancient virtualised environment.

This is why Nerd Porn failed epically in the test screenings.

bitemeluis · 17-09-2014 08:14PM

Nib wrote: »

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

A social gathering of Lemon, Limes and Grapefruit

Peregrine · 17-09-2014 08:16PM

greedygoblin wrote: »

Once, when having breakfast I poured milk into a glass while simultaneously pouring orange juice into my cereal.

It was not nice.

I was making a cup of coffee and getting a bowl of cereal one morning. Ended up putting coffee and sugar into a bowl of milk.

It was actually quite nice though

My name is URL · 17-09-2014 08:21PM

All I know is that now I want a flan dish full of stew

Fiolina · 17-09-2014 08:21PM

If I park my car the opposite way to normal outside my house I'll invariably go to get in to the passenger side every time.

Collie D · 17-09-2014 08:23PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I was on the phone to someone who was shadowing my citrix session, they asked "which file" and I said "that one" and I pointed to the file. With my finger.

Haha. I can relate to that. I regularly have to wipe my work monitor clean because I circle things on it with pen while showing things to other people.

I Can't Believe I Just Did/Said That ....!

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