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I am so angry

13

Comments

  • #62
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,839 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You stay posting here AuldGranny, this is your forum as much as anyone elses!


  • #63
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Thank you, but maybe I post in the wrong place

    It shouldn't matter where you post. Empathy, or at very least a bit of tact, should be granted in any forum.

    If you would prefer it moved just say the word but one or two nasty posters do not a forum make :)


  • #64
    The Peanut
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,169 ✭✭✭The Peanut


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Thank you, but maybe I post in the wrong place

    You are quite entitled to post where you like. You are in the midst of a hugely traumatic time for your family and I cannot believe that posters cannot respect the obvious anguish in your OP.


  • #65
    Pulsating Star
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Pulsating Star


    The Peanut wrote: »
    It's disgusting that on a thread like this, where the OP is reaching out for support and an ear, that some posters haven't the humanity or the intelligence to shut up or fcuk off.

    If my memory serves me right, one of them may well be angry over much the same issue themselves
    .
    An immediate family member got the all clear after cancer just last week, hoping you get to experience the same relief OP, all the best.


  • #66
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    The Peanut wrote: »
    It's disgusting that on a thread like this, where the OP is reaching out for support and an ear, that some posters haven't the humanity or the intelligence to shut up or fcuk off.
    The thankers are as bad. ****ing cowardice.

    Fashionable to act all heartless and edgy online though, they wouldn't dream of it in real life, so it's something of an illusion. Don't let it put you off, OP.


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  • #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,839 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OP, your username reminded me of this youtube vid. Just a little light relief, if you're up to it?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J-Xab9b_a8

    G'night.


  • #68
    ringadingding
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    You have a lot more class than I would have in your shoes.

    Nothing I can say apart from I hope things improve somewhat for you.

    You have my heartfelt condolences x


  • #69
    hinault
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,933 ✭✭✭hinault


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Like i said i am so angry. Full of rage, resentment, sadness, guilt, fear....every negative emotion under the sun. I had a disabled son who died young. I had a daughter killed in an accident. My sister had a daughter die of cancer and a son commit suicide. Now we find out our nephew also has cancer. We are distraught.It is after hours so I guess the answers will be of every kind but I didn't know where to post.

    I'm very sorry for your troubles.


  • #70
    AlanS181824
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,575 ✭✭✭AlanS181824


    So very sorry for your troubles OP.

    No one should ever have to deal with that amount of heartbreak.

    Stay strong.


  • #71
    DubDJ
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,364 ✭✭✭DubDJ


    So sorry for your troubles OP, really must be a hard time for yourself, you must be a very strong person to be able to go through so much, I don't know if I could.

    I'd suggest try to take the good times from it, because even though your feeling sad and angry now, you must of felt really good before, so focus on that good and those happy times, work towards more of those, and stay hopeful. Even though it might feel hopeless, there's no reason he won't beat it, and I sincerely hope he does. Stay positive as best you can.


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  • #72
    Bog Standard User
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 847 ✭✭✭Bog Standard User


    i know a guy who lost his entire family to a senseless war. (he is from africa - dufar region) its horrible but he has been through hell and back. but still he holds his head high and soldiers on. i have no idea how he does it but fair play to him. be strong and you can do the same


  • #73
    Buona Fortuna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭Buona Fortuna


    AG so sorry to read your post.

    I have no wise words I'm afraid.

    I hope this thread shows that, apart from the odd cnut, you have friends here.

    You're in my thoughts AG.


  • #74
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    I don't know what to say, op, but your family are in my thoughts. X


  • #75
    Pawn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭Pawn


    OP, would you like to press the reset button...?


  • #76
    Ed Winchester
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Ed Winchester


    Auldgranny, your story is just tragic and my heart breaks for you. I hope you find the strength to overcome your anger. As the father of a 5 year old boy who has just finished treatment for cancer for the second time in his short life, please be assured that the paediatric cancer treatment in Ireland is absolutely fantastic. The staff in St Johns Ward in Crumlin are incredible people and i hope and pray your nephew, like the VAST majority of childhood cancer patients, makes a full and complete recovery.
    If you ever have any questions, or need to be pointed in the right direction for some answers, i would be only too happy to help. There are fantastic supports out there, should you want to avail of them.


  • #77
    auldgranny
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 909 ✭✭✭auldgranny


    Buona Fortuna wrote: »
    AG so sorry to read your post.

    I have no wise words I'm afraid.

    I hope this thread shows that, apart from the odd cnut, you have friends here.

    You're in my thoughts AG.

    Actually yes, the kind words calmed me down last night. I was angry and wound up and fit to break something but posting here and seeing the nice things people wrote did calm me. Thanks everyone.


  • #78
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,338 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    OP, I'm so sorry for your troubles and I hope your family finds the strength to cope.
    Can fully understand your being angry, but the problem with anger in circumstances such as the ones that have stricken your family is that its general rage at the world, rage at everything for heaping **** on you....
    I'm not one of these ''anger is a negative emotion and I avoid negativity types.''
    Anger is a fact of life, how one deals with it is a choice.
    I would hope that you can redirect your anger and repurpose it.
    Don't be angry at the world for the hand you've been dealt, from my own experience it can leave one very bitter and resentful,
    Maybe focus your anger on a fight? And by that I mean fighting to get supports and help improved for people who are stricken by similar be it illness or the aftermath of bereavement, or better yet against the causes of the loss in the 1st place..
    Focus on the supports you felt lacking during your darkest times and use the energy your anger brings to try and improve that situation for others who face similar struggles.
    I wish you well O.P and I hope AH treats you with the tenderness you need right now.


  • #79
    RobertKK
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,782 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    I am sorry to read of your grief, OP.
    Be aware great advances are being made in the area of cancer and you should have hope for your nephew, you always need to have hope and particularly in the darkest moments of one life, when a tsunami of events seem to conspire against one.

    You say you are angry, and I don't know how one removes this as the anger won't change things.
    You should try and focus on the good times you had with these people who are no longer around, yes it will bring sadness thinking of them but think of it this way, would they want you to be feeling the anger you feel?

    The anger is a negative and get help if you feel you can't cope, remember the anger won't change what happened but can have very bad effects on the indiviudual. You really need to remove that from your life. The grieving and the void left by the tragedies you suffered are natural.
    Most of all you need to replace the anger with hope.

    I wish you the best.


  • #80
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    banie01 wrote: »
    Don't be angry at the world for the hand you've been dealt, from my own experience it can leave one very bitter and resentful,
    Maybe focus your anger on a fight?
    Focus on the supports you felt lacking during your darkest times and use the energy your anger brings to try and improve that situation for others who face similar struggles.

    QFT.

    Of course you'll be angry, but don't let that anger own you. I've seen how bitter it can make a person, and it's a horrible horrible thing.

    I'm very grateful that I've never become bitter or resentful. Sometimes it's better (and easier) to accept that life can be a bastard, than to wonder why.


  • #81
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    One thing thats come out of this thread is it's shown that even anonymous internet people are hugely good hearted and full of compassion for a fellow human in their suffering. It's awful that Auldgranny is facing this thing, but it's good to know that people care about what has and is happening. And it's obvious people here care about her. :)

    It's also proof that there's no such thing as karma, and bad things can and do happen good people out of the blue. Life can be a nasty little lottery at times.


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  • #82
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Actually yes, the kind words calmed me down last night. I was angry and wound up and fit to break something but posting here and seeing the nice things people wrote did calm me. Thanks everyone.

    Incredible the impact words can make, even online. Some people should have a think about that.



    I'm so sorry for your situation, Auldgranny. I hope things improve for you down the line. Look after yourself. x


  • #83
    Gael23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,177 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    First thing I'm going to say is this thread needs to be moved to Personal Issues, AH is not the place for something so sensitive.
    Secondly, to the OP, While I've never been in your situation, be assured that there is help out there in so many forms. I would suggest the first stop to be your GP and then work forward from there. Nobody can feel your pain as much as yourself but often talking to someone about your feelings can somewhat help.


  • #84
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    ryanf1 wrote: »
    First thing I'm going to say is this thread needs to be moved to Personal Issues, AH is not the place for something so sensitive.
    Secondly, to the OP, While I've never been in your situation, be assured that there is help out there in so many forms. I would suggest the first stop to be your GP and then work forward from there. Nobody can feel your pain as much as yourself but often talking to someone about your feelings can somewhat help.

    It's doing just fine where it is


  • #85
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ryanf1 wrote: »
    First thing I'm going to say is this thread needs to be moved to Personal Issues, AH is not the place for something so sensitive.

    That has already been discussed and the OP has been given the option of having it moved but the community in AH is perfectly capable of being sensitive for the mostpart which has been proven over the last 80+ posts :)


  • #86
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    OP, sorry to hear it. What can I say except you're not alone. Cancer is terrible but people and families do pull through it. I hope things work out for you and yours.


  • #87
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Strange. The irish cancer society sent chuggers around shortly after I read this thread. I never do business at my door, but I thought of this thread,and signed up for a monthly donation.

    I hope you and your nephew and family get all the support you need x


  • #88
    Corkgirl210
    Closed Accounts Posts: 329 ✭✭Corkgirl210


    OP no wonder you are full of emotion.. and rightly so! Really sorry to hear your news.. I agree with what others have said.. i.e. anger, resentment etc is part of the grieving process as well there is only so much one can deal with.. so its important to get help/support..

    My advice is to go to a bereavement support group and look after yourself (before you hit breaking point or get sick too).. it might help to talk to like minded individuals who understand & have gone through similar experiences as well as you shall receive great help from experienced professional facilitators etc.) You can even discuss your nephew too as grief is grief whether it be grieving the living, dying or passed..

    pm me if you need help in finding a group.. :)


  • #89
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,822 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    How old are you people? Have I been lucky enough to avoid all this heartache for the majority of my life? Will I inevitably have it my future?

    I was lucky enough to have my grandparents and a parent to die abruptly rather than seeing the ravages of cancer and the like.


  • #90
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Auldgranny wish I had the right things to say to you but just to let you know that I and many others here care.


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  • #91
    Calibos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 7,931 ✭✭✭Calibos


    Deleted User wrote: »
    How old are you people? Have I been lucky enough to avoid all this heartache for the majority of my life? Will I inevitably have it my future?

    I was lucky enough to have my grandparents and a parent to die abruptly rather than seeing the ravages of cancer and the like.
    `

    As bad as the 1 in 3 statistic for cancer is, its a kinda unfair fact that its not distributed evenly across the population. From my 4 grandparents through all their kids and grandkids and all the associated spouses, you're talkin' about 70 people. 1 case of beaten non hodgkins lymphoma in the lot. You might have another extended family totalling 70 people where 40 of them will get cancer eventually. Add them together and you would get an average figure for cancer rates of near 1 in 3 and yet one family was devastated by it with it being the leading cause of death in that family the other family (mine) in this example literally barely touched by it at all.


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