I am so angry

a fat guy · 15-09-2014 10:49PM

It is one of lifes greatest tragedies for a parent to outlive their child.

Your losses in life have been heavily stacked against you when compared to most people, but please do not let this destroy you.

No matter your religion, or lack of it, you will one day go where they have gone.

Wibbs · 15-09-2014 10:49PM

eviltwin wrote: »

People capable of that kind of insensitivity shouldn't be mods, aren't they expected to set an example to the rest of us.

I thought it was a twatty post too, but we all have our bad moments(oh god do I), but the chap apologised and made amends. No need to start a witch hunt over it ET.

THIS is the important bit of the thread;

auldgranny wrote: »

Thank all of you for your kind words. I am upset. My family is upset. But my poor mother, my poor mother who has tried so hard to take all of this.

Christ talk about being dealt a bad hand AG.

All I can say is it will get easier. Try and concentrate on the good in you and your family's lives and it is there. People getting loved up, people having children, goin on holiiers, having some fun and contentment. If you try and focus on that it will make the crap easier to take. Difficult I know lass, but it can be done.

15-09-2014 10:50PM

It's hard to be optimistic if you have a family history like yours OP, but your nephew isn't destined to die too. Depending on his cancer his outlook could be very good and this could be a tough time, but not necessarily a tragedy, for the family.

Stay hopeful, hang in there and let the life experience and empathy that your terrible losses have given you, be a tool to help yourself and your family through this new challenge. But keep the hope alive in your heart, you need it and you deserve it.

AndonHandon · 15-09-2014 10:51PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

I guess you don't have to post though, particularly that you're suspicious of them when they could be genuine.

There are different rules than in P.I. where unhelpful posts are rightly not permitted.

This thread is simply to vent, there is no real anything to discuss, therefore I am fully entitled to make a general point about the type of post that the OP is; anonymous and unverified which means that a lack of a knee jerk sympathetic reaction is not absurd. I am fully entitled to point that out here.

Let me be clear for you before your little one liner response again; I am saying nothing personal against the OP.

delw · 15-09-2014 10:51PM

Easy for me to say OP but try stay strong especially for your mother,life can be so cruel & some people just never know how good & lucky they have it

December2012 · 15-09-2014 10:52PM

I bet anybody who has been through all of that would be angry too.

Even the most outwardly appearing calm person must seethe with anger at times.

That's so much to bear.

Anger gets a bad rap sometimes, it's a normal and healthy emotion. I hope you can control it, if you start to feel like it's controlling you, you could go have a chat with a GP or a Mental health professional. Or even get a boxing punchbag or trampoline or something to use up some negative angry energy.

Take care of yourself

AndonHandon · 15-09-2014 10:52PM

KKkitty wrote: »

So a person on an internet discussion board posts about something that is harrowing to them and they're a bot? I'd rather be empathetic than just pathetic for the clear reason that you seem to have cynicism in abundance.

Well excuse me for not taking everything at face value, particularly given the context within which this OP was placed.

Shiraz 4.99 · 15-09-2014 10:53PM

Do you remember their faces, the way they talked, their mannerisms, do you think about them often ? . . . then they're not really gone are they ?

15-09-2014 10:53PM

AndonHandon wrote: »

There are different rules than in P.I. where unhelpful posts are rightly not permitted.

This thread is simply to vent, there is no real anything to discuss, therefore I am fully entitled to make a general point about the type of post that the OP is; anonymous and unverified which means that a lack of a knee jerk sympathetic reaction is not absurd. I am fully entitled to point that out here.

Let me be clear for you before your little one liner response again; I am saying anything personal against the OP.

Mod

Don't post in this thread again.

Others, please don't respond to this poster again.

auldgranny · 15-09-2014 10:53PM

My mother has already lost 4 gramdchildren. The first one was my son. The number of people who said we had an angel in heaven who would look after the rest of us. Sweet jesus.

Soups123 · 15-09-2014 10:53PM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

My father in law is going through a real bad time at moment, they don't think he will be here this time next year then I find out my mum has breast cancer a few days ago, we find out the full truth tomorrow after her full scan results . My heart goes out to you op .

Stay strong , talk to people , counciling , there's always somebody to talk to , personal issues even on here is really helpful .

I hope thinks go as well as they can tomorrow

15-09-2014 10:57PM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

My father in law is going through a real bad time at moment, they don't think he will be here this time next year then I find out my mum has breast cancer a few days ago, we find out the full truth tomorrow after her full scan results . My heart goes out to you op .

Stay strong , talk to people , counciling , there's always somebody to talk to , personal issues even on here is really helpful .

Sending my best wishes to you too, Monkey x

monkeysnapper · 15-09-2014 10:58PM

Soups123 wrote: »

I hope thinks go as well as they can tomorrow

Thank you :0)

15-09-2014 10:58PM

auldgranny wrote: »

My mother has already lost 4 gramdchildren. The first one was my son. The number of people who said we had an angel in heaven who would look after the rest of us. Sweet jesus.

You have each other auldgranny, and your nephew hasn't gone anywhere and he may not be going anywhere for a very long time. Do you know anything about his prognosis?

I know you can't be anything other than fatalistic after your experiences, but it's not a given that this will end in his loss too. Try hang on to that.

You're a very strong person to come through what you have already, and I'm genuinely sorry for all you've suffered.

15-09-2014 10:58PM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

Thank you :0)

And from me too monkeysnapper. Hang on in there, and I wish you the best.

dgt · 15-09-2014 10:59PM

That's a horrible run of events that I'm sure no amount of words can describe what you are going through

Chin up and stay strong. I really hope things pick up for you OP

eviltwin · 15-09-2014 11:01PM

Wibbs wrote: »

I thought it was a twatty post too, but we all have our bad moments(oh god do I), but the chap apologised and made amends. No need to start a witch hunt over it ET.

THIS is the important bit of the thread;
Christ talk about being dealt a bad hand AG. All I can say is it will get easier. Try and concentrate on the good in you and your family's lives and it is there. People getting loved up, people having children, goin on holiiers, having some fun and contentment. If you try and focus on that it will make the crap easier to take. Difficult I know lass, but it can be done.

That's fair enough Wibbs but when someone in distress gets a comment like that a deletion and sorry doesn't undo the hurt.

Merkin · 15-09-2014 11:06PM

I think your anger and hurt is entirely justified, I don't think a parent should ever ever outlive their own child, let alone have two children die so young. You poor thing. When did you lose your son and daughter OP?

P_1 · 15-09-2014 11:06PM

Also OP cancer isn't quite the death sentence it once was. Hopefully your nephew has discovered it in time. Yes it is petrifying initially but the sooner you've caught it the better.

Spoken as a proud owner of the scar and tshirt.

auldgranny · 15-09-2014 11:08PM

P_1 wrote: »

Also OP cancer isn't quite the death sentence it once was. Hopefully your nephew has discovered it in time. Yes it is petrifying initially but the sooner you've caught it the better.

Spoken as a proud owner of the scar and tshirt.

Thank you that gives me hope

eviltwin · 15-09-2014 11:09PM

OP you are probably trying to be strong for everyone but don't forget yourself in all this. To take care of everyone else you have to first take care of yourself. Irish Cancer Society has counselling services and a phone line you can get support from.

15-09-2014 11:12PM

OP I have unfortunately lost children in an accident, and watched too many loved ones suffer from cancer, and from motor neurons. It's hard not to be angry sometimes. I don't know what else to say really except that I do have some idea of your heartache

auldgranny · 15-09-2014 11:12PM

eviltwin wrote: »

That's fair enough Wibbs but when someone in distress gets a comment like that a deletion and sorry doesn't undo the hurt.

But everyone has different experiences and sometimes people's discomfort makes them react inappropriatly. I am not mad at anyone for what they post.

Gran Hermano · 15-09-2014 11:13PM

We havent had a pity party in ages...

Mod edit: Banned

Play To Kill · 15-09-2014 11:14PM

I wish you all the best OP and I hope you find some peace of mind soon. I know how you feel as someone very close to me hasn't got a lot of time left due to cancer. I haven't got any words that can help you at this time but I can assure you that you have posted in the right place because many people in After Hours have given me help and support in the past few months.
Best wishes OP

Mam of 4 · 15-09-2014 11:23PM

Genuinely don't know what to say except be there for each other , help each other and never give up hope for your nephew . Look after yourselves too AuldGranny

15-09-2014 11:24PM

I can't add anything OP other than to say I'm sorry to hear this and hope it will end with good news for your nephew and family. Stay strong.

Bafucin · 15-09-2014 11:34PM

I hope you find some support OP. I think you could use some help.

Stay strong.

The Peanut · 15-09-2014 11:38PM

It's disgusting that on a thread like this, where the OP is reaching out for support and an ear, that some posters haven't the humanity or the intelligence to shut up or fcuk off.

auldgranny · 15-09-2014 11:39PM

The Peanut wrote: »

It's disgusting that on a thread like this, where the OP is reaching out for support and an ear, that some posters haven't the humanity or the intelligence to shut up or fcuk off.

Thank you, but maybe I post in the wrong place

I am so angry

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