Sneakiest thing you have done???

DVDM93 wrote: »

He wasn't your mate so, or shouldn't be, for a few reasons.

If you disagree then that's a real scummy thing to do, hardly sneaky.

"Titfeck"? Christ.

More snaykey than sneaky

When I was in 3rd class, I lied to my parents that a pipe in my school burst and I was given the day off. My parents trusted me enough so I ended up getting to sit at home with no school. Since my plan worked, I decided to do it again the next day as well. Pretended to go to school but got half way, then turned back and went home. Told them that the damage had not been repaired yet and we were allowed the day off again. Thus I got the next day off as well. On the third day I got a little cocky and believed I could pull it off again, so I did the exact same thing again. Went home and told them that the problem still wasn't resolved and we were given the day off again. This time however my parents and my older sister got suspicious, and the whole day my sister kept questioning me over the story. They couldn't understand how the issue hadn't been solved after three days, and eventually I caved and confessed to them that I lied. When my dad heard what I did, he almost hit the roof.

My punishment was, I was grounded for three months, banned from watching tv for 3 weeks and also banned from watching The Simpsons until my dad said otherwise, and I was to collect all the homework I had missed over the three days and do it over the weekend which effectively cost me my Saturday.

However I suppose another sneaky thing that I did, was that I actually still watched The Simpsons even when I was banned. I just recorded the episodes and watched them when nobody was around or looking.

The penny sweets thing, everyone did that though Or in shops where nothing is bar-coded, switching the price labels. Going through the coat press to get all the change left in my parents pockets. The folks were away on hols one time, I decided to have my own holiday, drove the car (no licence, could barely drive, still haven't learned ) in to collect my then bf from the bus so he could spend the week with me. Other stuff like they still don't know I finished my undergrad later than they thought, or one summer I quit a job after a few hours, never said anything, I stayed in Dublin, they just thought I was working away. Harmless stuff though.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist:


In primary school I sat next to one of the pariahs of the class who we'll call Al, one other kid Jo was being constantly annoyed so was moved next to Al and by default these two pariahs started to become friends.

Over the course of a couple of months I would serupticiously steal Al's stationery and put it down this seemingly bottomless hole in the floor of our toilets that was filled with water (not the actual toilet) Pens,pencils, parers and rulers would all be snapped in half and thrown down it.after a while I had the technique down so good that it was almost a form of gaslighting (my best friend who sat at the same table didn't even notice.

Now Al's family didn't have very much money and after a while I think his parents got sick of constantly buying him new stationery and he had to ask around for a lend of a pencil here and a sharpener there, me being the saint I am obliged him and did my old routine and stole my own pencil back and gave out to him for losing my pencil. So he goes to Jo and asks for a lend of a pencil but Jo is kind of reluctant given Al's history of "losing" stuff, after some badgering Al gets his pokemon pencil.

I didn't strike right away, I was playing the long con, I waited until Jo built up enough trust with Al so that Al relied on him as his main supplier of stationery and then I would rob Jo's stuff from his pencil case until one day Jo called out Al he was like "where's my pencil?" Al visibly shocked because he didn't know either denied knowing where it was (I always remembered how disingenuous Al sounded even though he was telling the truth) and Jo flipped and went "right that's it we're never talking again everyone knows youre a little robber you even robbed fozzydog's pencil" and after that they stopped talking,

So yeah I made two people who only ever had each other, fall out.

DazMarz wrote: »

What's a titfeck?

Is it the Catholic version of a titfúck or some kind of a bird?

It's when you place your penis between the girls bosoms until you... well... you know...

DazMarz wrote: »

Address it by its proper title, so... not some made-up, precious, "I-DON'T-WANT-TO-SWEAR-BUT-I-REALLY-DO", baby-talk nonsense.

A gentleman never uses strong language to relate the time he t*t-f*cked a mate's girlfriend

DVDM93 wrote: »

and did ya?

Yes. I fell in love with her and we went out for many years, subsequently.

DazMarz wrote: »

A gentleman would never titfúck a mate's girlfriend to begin with...

But I loved her

DazMarz wrote: »

Doesn't matter... he was your mate, she was his girlfriend. That is nigh on the most scumbag thing you can do. No gentleman would ever do it. Simples.

In fairness, I was 16. Long time ago.

I love the way people are putting everything from burglary, theft and criminal damage down to being sneaky

I worked in a call centre about 15 years ago. Everything we did was monitored and we would get in trouble if our average call time was longer than 2 minutes, which was next to impossible to maintain.

My call stats improved drastically after I began a practice of carefully hanging up on circa 4 calls per hour, without anyone seeing me. I was so sneaky that in fact I won a few team prizes, such as tiny boxes of Ferrero Rocher and Body Shop crap.

That's the first time I've ever said/typed that

heard of a lad that faked a stomach ache to get outta school , cue the obligatary visit to the gp , and he got rushed to hospital to get his appendix taken out. the "symptoms" he gave pointed to a burst appendix