my girlfriend is in labour and I'm freaking out

Snake · 07-08-2014 4:10pm #1

I'm freaking out ****. Help. What do what do

Maximus Alexander · 07-08-2014 4:10pm

Probably should go to the hospital and then proceed to be a good dad for the rest of your life.

Also, congratulations!

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller · 07-08-2014 4:10pm

At least she didn't join Sinn Féin eh.

Dave0301 · 07-08-2014 4:11pm

I would stop posting on boards and go see if there is anything she needs/wants, and above all just be there for her.

wazky · 07-08-2014 4:11pm

Stop watching it, you'll never look at that vagina the same way again if you do.

rannerap · 07-08-2014 4:11pm

Start a pointless thread on boards that'll totally help the situation

zefer · 07-08-2014 4:11pm

Take it easy OP, she could be in labour for days

07-08-2014 4:11pm

Run. Run to Mexico.

Thoie · 07-08-2014 4:11pm

Start boiling water and tearing up towels. Wander over to Buzzfeed too, see if there's anything of interest there today.

knucklehead6 · 07-08-2014 4:12pm

Are you sure it's yours?

Ruu · 07-08-2014 4:12pm

Log off.

fleet_admiral · 07-08-2014 4:12pm

Get the f off this site and ring the hospital

Neyite · 07-08-2014 4:12pm

Rip up sheets and boil water !!!!

Oh, and if she ends up having a C-section, dont look up at the light.

Dave0301 · 07-08-2014 4:12pm

wazky wrote: »

Stop watching it, you'll never look at that vagina the same way again if you do.

Actually this is way better than my advice :pac:

jjjade · 07-08-2014 4:13pm

Probably should get of boards... but one tip for you stay calm!!! she will freak if you are freaking!

Good luck

Snake · 07-08-2014 4:13pm

ITS INDUCED LABOUR... THERES NO DAYS LONG **** GOIN DOWN HERE SON..

Fingers! · 07-08-2014 4:13pm

Always a difficult time for a man. Keep the chin up and you'll get through this difficult time. Tell herself to stop looking for attention -- shouting at everyone isn't going to achieve anything in this situation.

gandalf · 07-08-2014 4:13pm

Did she not tell you that she was pregnant until now or something!!! Relax and stay out of reach until after the child has been delivered.

Oh and congrats

Snake · 07-08-2014 4:13pm

Sarannewrap wrote: »

Start a pointless thread on boards that'll totally help the situation

Klolbye

07-08-2014 4:14pm

Suppose it's too late to tell you to pull out

miju · 07-08-2014 4:14pm

Take a few snaps of herself and we will all make our best attempts to give you sound medical advice.

Plus your other half will appreciate it too

bumper234 · 07-08-2014 4:14pm

Don't watch!!!!

It's not a spectator sport no matter what they tell you. Don't let her hold your hand she will CRUSH it. This is not the time for comedy, trust me....it may sound funny in your head but for some reason women lose their sense of humour around this time.

Also congratulations

iDave · 07-08-2014 4:15pm

Not sure if I believe this.

07-08-2014 4:16pm

Boards shouldn't actually be the focus of your attention right now. It doesn't matter if you're freaking out, there's a bigger picture here and you're not in it! Mind your partner and many congratulations and I hope it all goes smoothly.

Deep breaths for both of you.

wazky · 07-08-2014 4:16pm

iDave wrote: »

Not sure if I believe this.

Think we can safely say we don't want pictures for proof though.

bumper234 · 07-08-2014 4:17pm

iDave wrote: »

Not sure if I believe this.

You think it's time to say pics or gtfo?

Twigster · 07-08-2014 4:17pm

whatever you do, don't complain about anything. Or speak without being spoken to. And be prepared for her to lose the head at you for little or no reason. labour is like a scene from the exorcist

Pablodreamsofnew · 07-08-2014 4:17pm

I'd start with getting of boards on your phone and focus on your girlfriend before she kills you!! It's the ONE time in a woman's life when ALL your complete and undivided attention should be on her.

Also hate to break it to you.. I was induced and gave birth about 2 days laters. Sucks to be you!

the_monkey · 07-08-2014 4:18pm

It's a tough time allright, it was a traumatic time for me as well as my wife.

In a few days ye'll be grand getting into the swing of things ..

07-08-2014 4:19pm

Wait with her until the baby is born and once both are confirmed to be doing well go to the pub and drink the head off yourself to celebrate!!

LETHAL LADY · 07-08-2014 4:19pm

Well stop freaking out for starters, that's the last thing a woman in labour needs.
You're are meant to be cool, calm, collected and helpful one now.
Best of luck OP, it is a magical time and you'll shed a manly tear before the night is out.

zefer · 07-08-2014 4:20pm

GrayFox208 wrote: »

ITS INDUCED LABOUR... THERES NO DAYS LONG **** GOIN DOWN HERE SON..

Still can take a while...
But if it happens today, enjoy the experience but DO NOT take a look down the business end, I repeat DO NOT take a look!!! :eek:

Pablodreamsofnew · 07-08-2014 4:20pm

It's not like you're the one who needs to push a melon through your butthole. You'll be grand but she on the other hand won't be able to sit straight for a few months and oh goodbye vagina. ( for FOREVER)

Lou.m · 07-08-2014 4:20pm

'WHAT SHOULD YOU DO???????'

BE THERE FOR HER...DO WHATEVER THE FU*K SHE SAYS???

INDUCED LABOR IS IN A HOSPITAL ARE YOU FU**ING POSTING ONLINE IN A HOSPITAL??

IF SHE FINDS OUT YOU WERE POSTING ON BOARDS ASKING THE F**KING MEDICAL GENIUSES OF AH WHAT TO DO WHEN SHE WAS IN LABOR I WOULD NOT BLAME HER FOR KILLING YOU.

DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD TO BY HER OR THE OBSTETRICIAN. BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY NICE TO HER FOR A MONTH NOW.

AND BE THE BEST FU**KING DAD YOU CAN F**KING BE.

CONGRATS.

P.S IF SHE GIVES YOU SH*T WHEN IN THE PAINS OF LABOR JUST TAKE IT! F**K SCIENTOLOGY LET HER SCREAM HER F**KING HEAD OFF. F**K YOU TOM CRUISE!

Maximus Alexander · 07-08-2014 4:21pm

Oh my ears. No need to shout.

Pablodreamsofnew · 07-08-2014 4:23pm

Fingers! wrote: »

Always a difficult time for a man. Keep the chin up and you'll get through this difficult time. Tell herself to stop looking for attention -- shouting at everyone isn't going to achieve anything in this situation.

Yeah goodbye life and welcome fatherhood

Tough time for the dad... sure he is the one pushing it through his vag...

Oh wait no his not!!

nullzero · 07-08-2014 4:23pm

Ah labour; the screaming, the blaming the father, the blood and feces...what a miracle.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 07-08-2014 4:24pm

Pub?

monflat · 07-08-2014 4:25pm

GrayFox208 wrote: »

I'm freaking out ****. Help. What do what do

Ah are you only freaking out now?

I bet she handling it better!

It will all work out good luck!

Pablodreamsofnew · 07-08-2014 4:28pm

This thread is the most entertained i've been all day..

Just wait until baby is here.. that's the hard part

Someone said something about pub?? haha yeah right, you'll not see an inside of a pub for about two years now. It's all family day out from now on.

Adamantium · 07-08-2014 4:29pm

Pick a good username for the child; I'd be freaking out too if I were in your situation.

Sheeps · 07-08-2014 4:30pm

Only one thing to do when your wife/girlfriend is giving birth: Selfie

Arcturus IV · 07-08-2014 4:30pm

You're freaking out and she's the one in Labour?

Get off the site, stay by her side until the baby is born and then go out and down a skinfull at the pub in celebrations.

Fingers! · 07-08-2014 4:30pm

Might not even be yours..

Ravenid · 07-08-2014 4:32pm

Can We Pick the Name???!!!!!

Twatwaffle is very popular these days.

secman · 07-08-2014 4:32pm

file that complaint form with Durex..................

Angry_Mammarys · 07-08-2014 4:34pm

I heard watching your partner go through labour is kinda like watching your favourite pub burn down:)

LETHAL LADY · 07-08-2014 4:38pm

Hubby took a close up photo of my face right after giving birth, the fecker!
My nose looked like Chris Eubanks (must have been the meds) and he thought it was hilarious.

07-08-2014 4:38pm

+1 that we should name the luttle ankle biter.

Arthur Horatio if it's a boy. Alice Helga for a girl.

Either way they shall be called AH.

Lou.m · 07-08-2014 4:39pm

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Oh my ears. No need to shout.

IT'S LABOR EVERYONE SHOUTS THE DOCTOR THE MOTHER THE FATHER EVEN THE BABY DEAL WITH IT!!

Son Of A Vidic · 07-08-2014 4:40pm

GrayFox208 wrote: »

I'm freaking out ****. Help. What do what do

Paternity test.

my girlfriend is in labour and I'm freaking out

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