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Ladies and Gentlemen:How do you reject/deal with rejection?
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09-07-2014 10:12PM#1So I just posted this on the "Trivial Things That Annoy You" thread and it got me thinkingWhen casually chatting with a member of the opposite sex and the subject of being single comes up and you make it clear that you have no time for a boyfriend. He says you are just making excuses and I say I'm not, I simply have no interest in dating right now. He turns on the "charm" and asks me to go to the cinema. I tell him I don't have the disposable income right now (which is true) and I'd rather focus on the things that need sorting now, which will get me a better standard of living in the long run, than blowing money I don't have on seeing a movie that I could probably find on the internet if I really wanted to see it.
He then says "don't worry, I'll take care of that". No thanks. I've made it clear that I'm not into dating at the moment and a guy paying for me to go to the cinema is definitely moving from the friendzone to the datezone. It's not going to happen. Let it go. I admire your courage in putting yourself out there but please don't make it awkward after I've made it perfectly clear to you that I'm not interested by pushing the idea that we should do "date" stuff. I'm not going to change my mind. If you want to date someone, then find women who want to date.
What goes through the minds of guys when they are asking someone out and how do they handle rejection? I was clearly not interested in dating anyone, yet this guy kept pushing it. At first it was funny but then it just got annoying. I was polite and kept it casual but part of me wanted to tell him to fcuk off as I'm simply not interested. We were both sober at the time and he was quite pushy. If it had been in a nightclub setting where some men seem to think that alcohol turns them into a Casanova, and "ladies"
loose their inhibitions, I think I'd probably have turned into one of those "stuck up b1tches" who spurned his advances and told him to fcuk off.
What do AH'ers make of the whole asking people out malarkey? On the one hand I commend people who have the balls to ask someone out but on the other it annoys me no end when someone thinks that asking you out and being told "sorry, not interested" (no matter how politely it is put across) means that they feel entitled to cross exam you to the point where you feel awkward.
So my questions are;
Ladies:-
How do you deal with advances you reject?
How do you feel/react if you make the advances and they are rejected?
If you ask someone out and have been rejected, is there any answer that the other person can say which lessons the blow?
If you have been rejected, do you move on or do you push it?
Gentlemen:-
How do you deal with advances you reject?
How do you feel/react if you make the advances and they are rejected?
If you ask someone out and have been rejected, is there any answer that the other person can say which lessons the blow?
If you have been rejected, do you move on or do you push it?
I know the questions are the same for both genders but I think the answers will be different. I'm all for equality but men and women are not the same. As a woman (I don't speak for all women) it gets on my goat how someone thinks that chatting me up means that I somehow owe them my time. No. I. Don't. I would be interested to hear if men get this same thing.1
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I cringe, try to save face, run away and plan my life around never seeing this person againGirth and Length wrote: »OP how do you feel when you are rejected?
Trust me, I am not a sexy celebrity and I did make it very clear to the guy that I am not on the market.Girth and Length wrote: »Personally I think you should just tell someone that you aren't interested in them romantically.
Telling someone you aren't looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend isn't as genuine as one could be. If a sexy celebrity that you are crazy about had asked you out would you have still said no as you weren't looking for a boyfriend.
What a bizarre outlook. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't interested in anything and I never said anything about his looks (he is quite handsome). I'm not interested so he could be the most attractive man on the planet and I'd still have no interest. Is that really so hard for you to understand?Girth and Length wrote: »The truth is you just didn't find him attractive enough more than likely.0 -
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So I just posted this on the "Trivial Things That Annoy You" thread and it got me thinking
What goes through the minds of guys when they are asking someone out and how do they handle rejection? I was clearly not interested in dating anyone, yet this guy kept pushing it. At first it was funny but then it just got annoying. I was polite and kept it casual but part of me wanted to tell him to fcuk off as I'm simply not interested. We were both sober at the time and he was quite pushy. If it had been in a nightclub setting where some men seem to think that alcohol turns them into a Casanova, and "ladies" loose their inhibitions, I think I'd probably have turned into one of those "stuck up b1tches" who spurned his advances and told him to fcuk off.
What do AH'ers make of the whole asking people out malarkey? On the one hand I commend people who have the balls to ask someone out but on the other it annoys me no end when someone thinks that asking you out and being told "sorry, not interested" (no matter how politely it is put across) means that they feel entitled to cross exam you to the point where you feel awkward.
So my questions are;
Ladies:-
How do you deal with advances you reject?
How do you feel/react if you make the advances and they are rejected?
If you ask someone out and have been rejected, is there any answer that the other person can say which lessons the blow?
If you have been rejected, do you move on or do you push it?
Gentlemen:-
How do you deal with advances you reject?
How do you feel/react if you make the advances and they are rejected?
If you ask someone out and have been rejected, is there any answer that the other person can say which lessons the blow?
If you have been rejected, do you move on or do you push it?
I know the questions are the same for both genders but I think the answers will be different. I'm all for equality but men and women are not the same. As a woman (I don't speak for all women) it gets on my goat how someone thinks that chatting me up means that I somehow owe them my time. No. I. Don't. I would be interested to hear if men get this same thing.
Hey
If someone rejects me ... I tend to feel I need to retreat in embarrassment and shame.:o I don't push it to be honest it takes a lot for me to ask a guy out and if he says no I know he has no interest for me. Honestly no there is nothing someone can say to lesson the blow for you. I guess I feel hurt and embarrassed like everyone. It is tempting to sort of go 'Oh they are playing the hot and cold game or oh they are playing etc'. But to be honest they just wanted someone else. They will accept and go all out for another girl. And that's that.
Oh sigh ....
I think my gripe with guys is that they chat up women off the bat or out of the blue and give false impressions of how much they are invested and then lay off. It is like playing or toying. They expect just to walk up to you with no introduction and hey 'number?'. It is kind of like being hit by a brick and you feel it is more about their ego than them actually liking you. I consider all genuine offers seriously. I think some guys half offer or state affections with a get out clause like oh I was drunk. And obviously that's not real. Have the time it is figuring out whether you will be lead on or not. Maybe they fear rejection so much or something.
I usually try to be very polite and friendly in rejections. (Not that I have millions to reject or anything:o)
But yeah I probably take rejection to heart really.0 -
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LOL I've tried that and it doesn't work. You get told that you are playing "hard to get" blah blah. Seriously, I have outlined a situation to you where I was having a casual conversation where I said I was not interested in dating, one guy tried to date me and you have several excuses for this guy?????
So, you're a lesbian, right?
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LOL Are you new to After Hours?Hotfail.com wrote: »Paddy Cow, seriously, move this thread to a more relevant forum, it actually looks like you want genuine answers.. Otherwise eejits like me are going to end up ruining it :rolleyes:0 -
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Hotfail.com wrote: »Oh please, I don't want a girlfriend right now
Probably not. It's a bit late at night for all that nagging........0 -
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