Annoyed my kids aren't invited to my nephew's wedding.

Ocean Blue · 06-07-2014 03:26PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Exactly, my children didnt make the cut..There are other children going. I dont know why they didnt make the cut. That makes it sound that there is a problem with them. They are great kids, a bit too reserved, but really well behaved when at other peoples houses, so im, told. I dont think it was worth causing a rift in the family over a hundred euros or so. Its not like there are any other cousins to open the flood gates.

You are the only one responsible for causing a rift in your family.

Typer Monkey · 06-07-2014 03:26PM

You seem very dramatic OP tbh.

I didn't invite my cousins to my upcoming wedding and I've been to some of my cousins weddings. The only children attending are my daughter and my niece. We had a cut off of 140 and I prioritised friends over relations. Perhaps some noses will be out of joint but we had to draw the line somewhere and that's that.

If I received an RSVP like yours I'd be rolling my eyes and thinking a lot less of the invitee

Lambofdave · 06-07-2014 03:26PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

I dont think it was worth causing a rift in the family over a hundred euros or so.

Its you thats causing the rift, who told your children they were going to the wedding? you or the bride and groom. Ever hear the saying "assumption is the mother of all f ups"

Also your accident has nothing to do with the wedding.

Christian 121071 · 06-07-2014 03:29PM

I think I mentioned that there are other kids going, she listed it a bit vaguely. I rsvp by txt. First just a sorry I cannot attend, then, considering how angry I am with her I decided she should know. No point pretending. I cisider myself to be finished with her. She doesnt get a choice.

Ocean Blue · 06-07-2014 03:30PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

I think I mentioned that there are other kids going, she listed it a bit vaguely. I rsvp by txt. First just a sorry I cannot attend, then, considering how angry I am with her I decided she should know. No point pretending. I cisider myself to be finished with her. She doesnt get a choice.

I doubt she will be too upset now that you have shown how little respect you have for the decisions of family members.

Wellyd · 06-07-2014 03:31PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Exactly, my children didnt make the cut..There are other children going. I dont know why they didnt make the cut. That makes it sound that there is a problem with them. They are great kids, a bit too reserved, but really well behaved when at other peoples houses, so im, told. I dont think it was worth causing a rift in the family over a hundred euros or so. Its not like there are any other cousins to open the flood gates.

Irregardless of whether there are only your children as cousins or a hundred others on your side of the family, it's not up to you to decide if they go or not. You can try to figure out why they weren't invited for years but it doesn't matter. I'm sure your children are lovely but they didn't get invited and that's it. At the end of the day your nephew and his partner more than likely won't look back in years to come and think the wedding was ruined because they didn't invite your children.

Personally if I was getting married I wouldn't invite any children unless I had to ie nieces or nephews if I had any. A wedding is an occassion for adults.

You have made your decision not to go so now you need to forget about it and get on with it.

Christian 121071 · 06-07-2014 03:38PM

No, I never heard that. I never told my children that they woukd be going, the whole thing came up as something like xmas dinner when the family were all together. The whole table çhatted. Im the type of parent that lets the kids sit with us during a celebration dinner. Ill never be able to express how everything changes after something like what happened to us. The btb knows the situation, she has got to have had some idea that we would be hurt by this. Whats the point of a famiky wedding, if you dont invite your family. I am the grooms family. I had a wedding myself & yes I felt it was hijacked a bit by parents, but I did compromise a bit and invite my in law neighbours cis it wasnt worth upsetting them. I just dint get how she weighed it up as worth excluding us. I would have paid if that the problem, she knows that.

Christian 121071 · 06-07-2014 03:45PM

Did you really say weddings are a place for adults. I am now thinking alot of the no kids brigade are fairly interested in getting smashed and worried about children seeing their behaviour. Am I getting close to the truth?

Christian 121071 · 06-07-2014 03:49PM

Sam Kade wrote: »

The op is a troll.

I get that op is original post, but what the hell is a troll. Its been a while since I was in secondry school so im not up to date with these names. I would really like to know, im not trying to be smart.

Wellyd · 06-07-2014 03:53PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

I just dint get how she weighed it up as worth excluding us. I would have paid if that the problem, she knows that.

But she didn't exclude you. You got an invitation. I'm actually shaking with frustration after reading your suggestion that you'd pay for your children. THEY DIDNT GET INVITED!! I'm trying to phrase things as nicely as possible but I can't anymore they didn't get invited. When push came to shove they werent wanted there so you need to get over it. If you had a choice between inviting 4 more friends or 4 pre-teen children 99% of people will pick their friends.

It's ridiculous to think you could bring them and pay for them yourself. If it were a case of guests paying for extra people they wanted invite then it wouldn't be about the couple getting married.

bee06 · 06-07-2014 03:54PM

You seem to be completely blaming the bride. The groom does get a say as well you know and he chose not to invite his cousins. As everyone else has said, it's the bride and groom's choice who gets to go to their wedding and no one else should be dictating to them. I think using your accident as some kind of reasoning for your upset is OTT as well.

FairytaleGirl · 06-07-2014 03:54PM

If you think your 4 kids attending the wedding would cost 'about €100' you are seriously deluded.

I can't believe you are falling out with your nephew - the son of your closest sister- because the b&g made a diplomatic decision for their own wedding. You may be the only cousins but do you know anything about the brides family? There may be a pile of kids/cousins, all also not invited - why should you be an exception?? Because your kids were looking forward to it? Tough, take them out a day to compensate. Weddings are really no place for kids - they dont enjoy the church and with the drinking done at the reception it's no place.

You are making this into an issue - grow up - it's their wedding day, it's not about you.

Christian 121071 · 06-07-2014 03:55PM

Ocean Blue wrote: »

You are the only one responsible for causing a rift in your family.

No, I dont think so, the rift began when my chikdren weren't invited. M two other sisters dont understand it & I havnt heard from the grooms mom. Thats not a good sign, but no more than me she can do as she pleases.

Wellyd · 06-07-2014 03:56PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Did you really say weddings are a place for adults. I am now thinking alot of the no kids brigade are fairly interested in getting smashed and worried about children seeing their behaviour. Am I getting close to the truth?

I'm 25 years old if I want to get "smashed" at a wedding it's my right to do so. I don't want to have to listen to children whining at 10 or 11 o'clock because they're bored or tired. That's why I don't like children at weddings.

Sebastian Dangerfield · 06-07-2014 03:57PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Did you really say weddings are a place for adults. I am now thinking alot of the no kids brigade are fairly interested in getting smashed and worried about children seeing their behaviour. Am I getting close to the truth?

Kids have no business in licensed premises late at night. Weddings are held in licensed premises.I dont think kids should be in pubs after 8pm, therefore I do not want kids at my wedding.

Wellyd · 06-07-2014 03:58PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

No, I dont think so, the rift began when my chikdren weren't invited. M two other sisters dont understand it & I havnt heard from the grooms mom. Thats not a good sign, but no more than me she can do as she pleases.

You don't think you caused the rift?

Just read what you wrote.

FairytaleGirl · 06-07-2014 03:58PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

No, I dont think so, the rift began when my chikdren weren't invited. M two other sisters dont understand it & I havnt heard from the grooms mom. Thats not a good sign, but no more than me she can do as she pleases.

I'm gonna take a hunch and say they didnt invite your kids to stop you from going. You sound like an absolute nightmare. The reason 'no one understands' is because you are being completely ridiculous.

eviltwin · 06-07-2014 03:58PM

As a parent I can understand where you are coming from. If I get an invite to a child free wedding I can't go and if its someone I care about that can be difficult but you know what, not their problem. Their wedding, their rules. Its up to me to sort out childcare or not go.

Maybe everyone involved has handled this badly implying the kids were going to be welcome and getting their hopes up and its regrettable they are upset but do you really think the bride and groom should accommodate and extra 4 people which they will have to pay for remember just so you can have a quiet life? I think you are going to have to get over yourself here. They haven't been invited so its up to you now to decide if you go solo or not at all but to fall out with family over this is crazy. I also think you should apologise to your nephew and his fiancee for your RSVP which was very unfair.

ShaShaBear · 06-07-2014 03:59PM

Tbh on re-reading the OP, I don't even get the impression that your nephew's kids and your kids are really all that close. Giving your nephew dresses and your kids getting invited to kids birthday parties doesn't make them bonded deeply for life or anything!

The fact that you think four kids would only cost about a hundred quid to sit at a wedding is absolutely preposterous.

The fact that you seem to think (and love to keep mentioning) that because you apparently almost died, your kids are entitled to go to this wedding is also laughable.

Other kids are going, but your kids are the only cousins? Then, obviously, the other kids going are more closely related to the bride and groom than yours are. Their manners or their importance to you matters not.

My gawd, if anyone even dared RSVP to my wedding next year like that because I didn't invite their kids, I'd completely cut them out of my life! Talk about shameful, bitter and despicable behaviour from a grown adult!

CarrickMcJoe · 06-07-2014 04:00PM

OP, just read the whole thread and all I can say is GROW UP!

Ocean Blue · 06-07-2014 04:01PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

No, I dont think so, the rift began when my chikdren weren't invited. M two other sisters dont understand it & I havnt heard from the grooms mom. Thats not a good sign, but no more than me she can do as she pleases.

No, a decision was made by the bride and groom when the kids weren't invited. Nothing more than that. You are the one who decided to take offence without good reason and turn it into a rift.

projectgtr · 06-07-2014 04:01PM

Its not your day, get over it, thread closed.

I hate this crap tbh. Its a day for the bride and groom nothing else really matters they have a million and two other things to be thinking and stressing about than you, end of.

Doris300 · 06-07-2014 04:04PM

Irish culture is shifting. Everyone and their dog used to get invites to weddings, now people want a more private affair there is mass confusion and anger from people who feel entitled to go to other people's events.

Christian 121071 · 06-07-2014 04:05PM

Toots* wrote: »

Anyone who suspects the OP is a troll should use the report post button and let a moderator take a look, please don't drag the thread off topic.

Perhaps you can guve me an idea what a troll is. When I was a kid it was a toy with mad hair. I am getting the feeling in my case it refers to something other than my hair?

Sam Kade · 06-07-2014 04:07PM

Doris300 wrote: »

Irish culture is shifting. Everyone and their dog used to get invites to weddings, now people want a more private affair there is mass confusion and anger from people who feel entitled to go to other people's events.

I thought that shifted years ago, can't believe it's still going on.

Wellyd · 06-07-2014 04:07PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Perhaps you can guve me an idea what a troll is. When I was a kid it was a toy with mad hair. I am getting the feeling in my case it refers to something other than my hair?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Internet+Troll

Typer Monkey · 06-07-2014 04:07PM

Not one poster has agreed with your stance OP but I get the impression that's not going to give you any pause for thought. You seem determined to play the victim here no matter how ridiculous that is.

Doris300 · 06-07-2014 04:08PM

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Perhaps you can guve me an idea what a troll is. When I was a kid it was a toy with mad hair. I am getting the feeling in my case it refers to something other than my hair?

A troll is someone who posts controversial things on the internet that are mostly untrue to cause arguments etc.

username123 · 06-07-2014 04:10PM

This thread is just amazing. I cannot believe there are such entitled deluded selfish people in the world.

When two people get married it's THEIR day. Not yours. If you want to hold a big shindig and invite your kids to it, go ahead. When you are an invited guest at someone else's wedding you don't get a say in who goes.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if the bride deliberately did not invite your kids so that you wouldn't go yourself. You sound like someone that no one would want at their wedding.

I can't decide if it's childishness, selfishness, lack of intelligence of just complete social autism that would lead you to throw such an unreasonable strop.

In this case the bride will be better off if you two are "finished", no one needs a selfish dictator as a friend.

I think you need to grow up. Think about what this episode is teaching your children, do you want them to grow up as entitled selfish brats?

nc19 · 06-07-2014 04:10PM

Google it....

Annoyed my kids aren't invited to my nephew's wedding.

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