Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

Moonbeam · 01-02-2014 12:25am

I was not adopted through the Good Shepherd but pass it every day and can't help but imagine what it was like and how many mothers and babies were seperated:(

cleansweep · 11-02-2014 1:24pm

Hi Kleo,
I'm new to tracing. I'm searching for a BM aged 15 when giving birth to boy on 1 Feb 1979 - adopted from Dunboyne aged about three weeks old. BM came from north east. Got details from NE Health Board. You say you were there until March 1979. Have you managed to make contact with other mothers there at the same time? I am also concerned that the birth dates might not have been properly recorded in the Births Registry, as I have discovered some entries which did not tally with the entry against their names in the books which I consulted in the GRO. This makes it very difficult to when doing a search to find the correct entry if you confine the search it to a specific date, which may have been falsified
Hope to hear from you
Cleansweep

shanef124 · 12-02-2014 12:00am

hi there would love to meet up I was there with yoy I remember Maura,maryanne,liz, dee im Fiona they called me Fiona mary though

Kleo · 12-02-2014 7:28am

Hi Cleansweep...., not sure if I can help but am willing to try ....can you send a pm to me as that may be easier for for both of us .....Regards ...Kleo

shassa · 12-02-2014 8:22am

Is the trip to dunboyne castle on the 17 th of February still going ahead I am looking forward to it ðŸ˜႒ðŸ˜႒

junemay · 12-02-2014 8:49am

I'll be there. Look forward to meeting you.

shassa · 12-02-2014 8:51am

junemay wrote: »

I'll be there. Look forward to meeting you.

Do you know the arrangements

junemay · 12-02-2014 8:54am

No, haven't heard from anyone else recently. Hopefully we can firm things up over the weekend.

shassa · 12-02-2014 8:58am

junemay wrote: »

No, haven't heard from anyone else recently. Hopefully we can firm things up over the weekend.

Hopefully I know it is a big thing for everyone involved but I know for me it is very important for me to go as it was a very special time for me and part of my life

)

teddybug · 12-02-2014 4:14pm

Hello to any girls interested in going back to the dunboyne castle hotel,im gonna ring the hotel today to check available rooms for an overnight stay and dinner if that suits everyone?? Hope of us as possible can meet up for dinner and a chat on monday 17 feb next week ,lookin forward to meeting you all. take care for now..please post on public forum if you like or pm me , so i can have an idea of how many for to tell the hotel tnks...

shassa · 12-02-2014 4:26pm

teddybug wrote: »

Hello to any girls interested in going back to the dunboyne castle hotel,im gonna ring the hotel today to check available rooms for an overnight stay and dinner if that suits everyone?? Hope of us as possible can meet up for dinner and a chat on monday 17 feb next week ,lookin forward to meeting you all. take care for now..please post on public forum if you like or pm me , so i can have an idea of how many for to tell the hotel tnks...

Me for definite looking forward to it

teddybug · 13-02-2014 12:40am

Hi girls there doesnt seem to be much of a response to the reunion to dunboyne castle hotel,its possible the reason could be thatoryou monday coupled with schools midterm,but if anyone can make it, please do as we all need to support each other.
Also we can try to make a meeting up place and time that suits everyone,like maby every 3 months or so,if anyones free for monday evening,even if you cant stay overnight,and its not too far or inconvienent for you,would love to meet up for a chat

teddybug · 13-02-2014 4:00pm

Helo again just to let you know the hotel asked to know how many coming for monday,they have given a good rate so
by tomorrow 5 o clock ,i will ring dunboyne hotel to give the number of girls going ,so if anyone wants in on this meet, post online on this forum or p m teddybug if you like before 5 o clock friday evening,look forward to hearing from you
take care regards ....

shassa · 13-02-2014 5:22pm

teddybug wrote: »

Helo again just to let you know the hotel asked to know how many coming for monday,they have given a good rate so
by tomorrow 5 o clock ,i will ring dunboyne hotel to give the number of girls going ,so if anyone wants in on this meet, post online on this forum or p m teddybug if you like before 5 o clock friday evening,look forward to hearing from you
take care regards ....

going

survived · 14-02-2014 2:18pm

shassa wrote: »

going

Sorry teddybug can't make it but would still love to meet up next thank you. Hope all goes well for ye will be thinking of ye all.

shassa · 14-02-2014 6:24pm

helen k wrote: »

shassa wrote: »

hi shassa helen k. here i took a photo of a girl with her baby in holistreet hospital my daughter was born in march 1989 she is 22 this year .i was in dunboyne from sep 1988 till march 1989.i hope this is some help for u .

regards helen k

Hi Helen k no I don't think that was me as I was there from November 1985 to march 1986

carolanne83 · 15-02-2014 12:41am

hi there, just heard of this site, not very good at this, but was in dunboyne in 83, heard theres a reunion soon, would love to be able to contact or interact with people with the same experiences

junemay · 15-02-2014 1:01am

Hi carolanne83
yes, a few of us are meeting this Monday 17 at the Dunboyne Castle Hotel. Hope you can make it

carolanne83 · 15-02-2014 1:04am

unfortunately, i only heard of reunion arrangements today, gutted, as i cant make it due to commitments

junemay · 15-02-2014 1:07am

Thats a pity, but we can organise one for another time and hopefully you can make it

shassa · 16-02-2014 1:13pm

What time are we all meeting up tomorrow in dunboyne castle

teddybug · 16-02-2014 2:21pm

Shassa have alook at ur private messages

teddybug · 16-02-2014 2:25pm

Hello carolann83,your very welcome,hope you can make the next reunion,very important to us all,to meet up and chat, and to give each other support,as this site does....Take care

sheba99 · 17-02-2014 4:33pm

Hope the meet up is going well. I was in Dunboyne in 1974 from January till April.

Are you all aware that there are closed groups on facebook for adoptees and birth mom's?

mamafi · 21-02-2014 4:38pm

Hi Ladies...I am helping a friend trace her bm...she knows that her mam was in Dunboyne and that she was born in national maternitity hosp...her dob is 15th feb 1967...was there anyone there around that time...we have loads of info but she only had her 1st meeting with sw on tuesday and they said there is about a 2 yr waiting time before she can start he search....nither of us are in the position to head to dublin to the gro to search through the books ..

shassa · 21-02-2014 10:41pm

the reunion was emotional to say the least it felt so strange to be back at dunboyne and it really opened up a lot of emotions for me i felt like i was the little girl again and it was very strange staying at the hotel it just didn't seem real. i felt very sad when i came home as it reminded me of the first time i left and left my daughter behind and i am still trying to get my head around it. i met two very brave women there thank you to teddybug and junemay it was lovely to meet you both and i hope we can keep in touch. i would like to say a big happy 28th birthday today to my daughter you will never be forgotton love always.

sheba99 · 24-02-2014 5:10am

Hi

I'd just like to let people here know that I have started a group on facebook for Irish First Mothers at this address

https://www.facebook.com/groups/IrishFirstMothers/

If anyone uses facebook and would like to join. We are a closed support group.

I think you were all very brave going back to Dunboyne. I could not do it this time, but if you decide to go again I will attend. I was there in Jan to April '74.

Mazdoll · 24-02-2014 8:26pm

Hi there, just in regards to your fb page ...all your members can be seen by anyone who search's facebook. although you cannot see the content of the page anyone who joins can be identified...if they are not aware of this might be a bit of a shock..

Mazdoll · 24-02-2014 8:36pm

Sorry I was unable to join the reunion..i hope it went well.....my lovely dad passed away suddenly and it has left a void in my heart I thought I would never experience again.

He visited me whilst in was in dunboyne, brought me sweets, bikkies and a few fags. He would turn up out of the blue and just make it a little bit easier. He was there the day I left my darling son in holles street, brought me back to dunboyne cause it was a bank holiday and nuns couldnt collect him till that tuesday. When filling in the birth cert, he politely put it, sure ya dont have to put anything down ya dont want to"

. He was also there when I collected my son from his foster parents and brought him "home". A good kind man, he became dad to my son and never left us down. I will love and miss him forever. Isnt life so strange...the wheels keep turning and we stand here still ...watching while the world goes on.

i would love to make the next reunion and look forward to someday meeting all of you...<3

Kleo · 24-02-2014 9:08pm

Hi Mazdoll
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your Dad, I lost my Dad in Nov 2012 and my Mum 10months later in sept 2013 and feel as if my world has ended..no matter how old you are ,the death of a parent is heartbreaking and leaves a huge hole in your life..like you ,I find it so strange that life just goes on as if nothing happened..My son was their first Granchild and they adored him...without their help and support I would never have been able to keep him...he misses them a lot .....please take heart in knowing how how much your Dad loved you and your son and what a good man he was...Dads like them are very rare...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very sad time...xxx

Lou1989 · 03-03-2014 1:02pm

Hi girls. I'm new to this forum so not too sure what I'm doing. I was in Dunboyne from Easter until may 1989. I had to give up my daughter too like so many others.
I have contact with her so I'm one if the lucky ones. Reunion and building some sort of a relationship is not an easy landscape to navigate but I suppose nothing in life's perfect. Still feel v aggrieved regarding the whole situation, the way society was at that time and the role the Catholic Church played in all of that.
I don't have bad memories about my time in Dunboyne in fact it was a relief to get away from the atmosphere I was living with at home and realise I wasn't the only girl in Ireland that this happened to. I remember packing the cards and the schoolroom and that awful laundry out the side of the building. I shared a room with a Gillian from Dublin and a Laura from cork I think. I remember Grace and a few faces s but names are eluding me.

It still bothers me that we gave up our children as if giving up a puppy and no counselling nor aftercare were offered in the aftermath. I can only say I suffered from what id describe as Post Traumatic Shock for 17 years afterwards until I finally went searching for help and support to finally deal with my buried grief and loss.
As part of my healing Iv returned to Dunboyne castle myself on three occasions, once with my husband, once on my daughters 20th birthday on my own n once with my daughter. I asked at reception if i could go n look around the old part of the convent and found myself back in the first room i was brought into when i arrived, just inside the front door. Emotional to say the least. I'd love to meet up there with a few of ye the next time ye go there. It's so nice to finally get to talk to others who were in Dunboyne as sometimes it feels so surreal as if I'd dreamt it. Louise x

Lou1989 · 03-03-2014 1:40pm

Interesting and thought provoking article

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2563185/Real-lives-We-coerced-conned-giving-away-children.html

to sir with love · 06-03-2014 2:19pm

I was resident of Dunboyne Castle mother & baby home from about March - June 73. I will never forget Sr Ann who was the midwife there and I cant remember the sister's name who was the social worker then but looking back now we were lucky to be there and not some other hell hole, like some of the poor other creatures who found themselves in. My memories of my stay in Dunboyne are good but not what happened to me. I believe my health has suffered because of what happened to me, not been able to speak to anyone, always denying I had a son, when people would say "such a pity you never had a son" I felt like screaming out, I did have one but he was taken from me. After 40+ yrs the pain is still raw. Good health and happiness to all the women who went up the front steps to the Convent.

junemay · 11-04-2014 10:20pm

Some of you may have heard Pat Kenny on Newstalk today, talking to women who have had their babies adopted. It was a preview of a radio programme which will be aired on tomorrow April 12 at 7am and repeated Sunday 13 at 6pm. On Podcast too. It's called 'A Pocket of Time- The other side of the Adoption story' and focuses on the mothers experience of adoption.

Jovi · 25-04-2014 9:55am

Hello all,

I am an adopted person and only recently decided to make contact with the agency who arranged my adoption for information regarding my birth mum. I've just met with a social worker and got some non identifying information. It has ignited a curiosity in me and I would like to no more about what it was like for my bm in the mother and baby home. My birth mum came to the Good Shepherd mother and baby home in Dunboyne in December 1971. She was from Connaught and I know she went home for Christmas. She returned to the home early January and I was born in February 1972 in Holles Street. Its a long shot but I was wondering if there was anyone there around that time to give me some info on what it was like. It was probably unusual at the time in so far as she may have been a lot older than most girls in the home. She was in her early 40's when she gave birth to me. I dont know her name, the sw is unable to give it me as yet.

junemay · 27-04-2014 5:12pm

Hello Jovi
I was in Dunboyne 76/77, it probably wasn't too different from when your mother was there.

I will send you a PM.

RANIA · 05-05-2014 1:49am

https://www.facebook.com/groups/629383703818061/members/

Ann1966 · 05-06-2014 8:08pm

My parents bought a pup from Sr. Ann. Ivan was a Samoyed. I was in the home from August 1986 until December 1986. My little girl was born in Holles Street in November and I held her for five days until I walked out of the hospital without her. My friend, Melissa, had her twins around the same time and she stayed with my little girl until the social worker came to take her. I couldn't bear to be there for that.

I went home but was a day there when I asked my parents to bring me back to the home. I really became attached to the place....it was so peaceful and we were treated like human beings.

Two other girls I remember were Vera and Maggie. I remember Maggie's green dress with a pattern, like it was yesterday. I drove in around it once since that time and it felt like my heart had stopped beating....very emotional.

I got word a couple of weeks ago that my little girl, who is almost 28, has come searching for me. Needless to say, I am so overjoyed! Please, if you were there around the same time as me, please tell me.

Thank you for reading this.

shassa · 05-06-2014 10:36pm

Hi Anne I left dunboyne in march of 1986 I am delighted that your daughter has found you I too was went back to dunboyne recently and found it very emotional and like yourself I didn't want to go home from dunboyne I wanted to stay there as I was happier there than I was at home

sheba99 · 09-06-2014 4:17am

Hi Anne, I was in Dunboyne from January to April '74. My daughter was born in Hollis Street, I nursed her for a week after the birth. The day I was discharged was the last I seen of her for 28 years. I am glad to hear your daughter has traced you and wish you every happiness in the future. We have a group for Irish First Mothers on facebook if you would like to join us. The group is a closed confidential group and only for Irish Birth Mothers whose children were set for adoption in Ireland.

facebook.com/groups/IrishFirstMothers/

Regards
Kathy

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 3:12am

Hi all! I was there for 5-6 months in 1979. My experience was a complete nightmare. I went in there because I had no where else to go. My family didn't want me at home, or the baby after giving birth. While I was there I spent all my time thinking how I would be able come out of there with my baby and where I could go after. Cutting a long story short, I had the head nun,I cant think of her name. I must have pushed it way back into the subconscious, taking me into her office most days trying to force me into signing adoption papers, I believe there were three papers to be signed, two before birth, and the final paper after the birth.
This nun was what I can only describe as an psychopath, because of how she reacted towards me when I refused to sign the forms. I say psychopath because I can never get the picture of her face, how twisted and evil she looked when she wasn't getting her own way. She punished me by getting me to clean the outside windows with newspapers and vinegar, and you all know how high up they were. I had to climb the ladder and do a lot of stretching in order to do a proper job, "there was no need for this they had a window cleaner". On a daily basis I was summonsed to clean out each of the nuns bedrooms each of which had on suites, not an easy task when you are pregnant, for most of the time I was feeling sick while cleaning, they obviously weren't bothered about now I seen their private space.
Anyway, after giving birth they stole my baby! I was up in my bedroom taking with one of the girls. a few of the girls arrived into the room and said they were taking away my baby. I rushed down the corridor with the girls, we looked out the window only to see two nuns, one handing over my son to who ever was in the van. Again I got downstairs to the front door, the van had gone. Now that is just the tip of the iceberg.

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 12:19pm

sorry if I upset anyone by writing the above. Maybe...., Im not sure if this is the right forum for me to write about my experience. From what I see now, there dosen't appear to be posts of a similar experience. If, it is not the right place, again I am truely sorry people. And if anybody can direct me onto the right forum, or lend some advice it would be truely appriciated.

Hermy · 11-06-2014 12:30pm

It's absolutely the right place Pamela and welcome to Boards.
It's just hard sometimes to find words to adequately respond to your experience.
You say the tip of the iceberg - I'm almost afraid to ask but was that the last you saw of your baby?

[It's also not the busiest forum so it might take a while longer for a response than other parts of Boards]

Ghekko · 11-06-2014 1:58pm

Pamela that is just so sad. I cannot believe that in more recent years they took your baby without the papers being fully signed. Have you ever tried to trace your son?

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 2:38pm

Hi Hermy! Thanks for your response. No it wasn't the last time I seen him. I went back home, my cousin kindly allowed me to live with her and her family. I went to the social worker, who organised my stay at Dunboyne. I went to her office for many, many weeks, it went into almost 3 months, asking her where my son was, and how I wanted him back with me.. Again cutting the story short, she told me he was at St Clares Stumullen. I went to St Clares on a number of occasions before they allowed me in to see him, I'll never forget seeing him, he looked so grown up,. I later found out that my son was actually with a family in Castlpollard Co Westmeath, who obviously thought they were going to be adobting him, because these actual people who had him actually christened him during his stay " words are hard to decribe the feeling, of not addending your own babys christening".
When I finally got my son, I quickly got married to his father " a mistake on both parts", and hurried away to England, for fear of them taking him away again.

With all the reflecting I have been doing over the years, and that void I carry with me for the rest of my life, from missing the most important part " the 3 months bonding process" and my babys Christening, I have come to the conclusion that the "Sale" of my baby was very close to been sealed.

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 2:48pm

sorry about spellings there Hermy! I shouldn't write without my glases

Ghekko · 11-06-2014 2:55pm

Well done Pamela on your bravery for standing up to these people. I am glad for you that you did get to take your baby home with you (I assumed you had not from your first post) It's shocking to think that you were very close to losing him through what sounds like forced adoption.

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 2:59pm

Thank you Ghekko

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 3:24pm

survived wrote: »

What a truly great day for the madelene survivors. does anyone out there know is there anywhere we can register to even get an apology for our treatment in dunboyne although it was in no way in comparison to the madelene laundries we did work, our real names were taken from us we paid the nuns for the pleasure of being there !!!!!! etc etc is there anyone that feels the same way as i do. The nuns also got paid for the laundry and the packing of cards we the girls did all the work cooking cleaning etc we paid them as did the government would love to hear so views.

I agree with you entirely! I know from my experience... the psychological damage is ongoing, I never did recover properly.

pamela1961 · 11-06-2014 3:35pm

sunshine1799 wrote: »

Hi All,

I too stayed at the convent from Jan 83 until June 83 and had the pleasure of knowing St Cait. I have never known, until this day, a more kind hearted person than Cait. All my experiences there were good, even if the circumstances was not great, I was only 17. We were never chastised for our situation, we were treated with kindness and compassion, and never forced to do anything against our will. My situation was not as bad as some of the girls, I didn't have to hide my situation from my parents, I was there because my boyfriends parents wanted me there, and to give up my baby but I was lucky, I was allowed to keep my baby and he is now 29yrs old. Not everyone was as lucky as me but it was my decision and any girl who gave up her baby was very brave, it was and will be the hardest decision they will ever have to make. I know it was the 80s but those who post and say it was an awful place is lying, in my opinion. The nuns were lovely, they never treated us badly, I even sat my leaving cert there, they even hired tutors for me. If anyone reads this and thinks its easy to give up their baby is far from mistaken, those girls done the best they could in a bad and difficult situation. Sr Cait, Claire and Maura were saints esp Cait, I cannot imagine how my life would be now if someone had forced me to put my baby up for adoption, it was left to us. That is not to say we were not encouraged for adoption and yes it was discussed, but in the end in it was our parents decision whether we could take the baby home. I was lucky they said yes.

I find what you are saying here to be very hurtful. To say that those who were mistreated were lyres.How dare you!!! Just because your experience was different. Those who has had a bad experience, do not need people like you to crush them down even further. SHAME ON YOU...for posting such a discusting statement. You shouldnt be on this forum...."because yoiur alright" Arn't you Jack!!!

Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

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