Saved family €4,000, shockingly ungrateful

PLL · 24-05-2014 01:24AM

Strumms wrote: »

If you are someone who doesn't direct like confrontation... Just send them a link to this thread... It's what your fellow boardsies are for after all....

I was actually thinking of taking screen shots of the thread and emailing them to them. Subject along the lines of 'I really can't be arsed to waste more of my time with your ****, this explains it nicely'

Boardsies have taught me so much about myself! I'm fine with not confronting them about the junkyard, I just want it gone. However, I know I will get drunk one day and go ape about how ungrateful they are and digusting to treat my daughter the way they have. But I will be right so maybe a drunken rant could be fun.

Seriously not doing anything for family again, I hope they stay in the UK. I feel bad for my oh, he is really hurt by what his brother has done.

PLL · 24-05-2014 01:31AM

cuana wrote: »

They did them a huge favor and should be grateful for it! IT COST NOTHING TO SAY THANK YOU

When my sister first emigrated after a while she needed a helping hand financially & asked if we didn't mind we all put a few euro together & help her out. It was a tiny amount but just enough to keep her going. We each sent what we could afford & never expected payment but she never ever forgot.

Thing is much like the poster we helped because we could... a little gratitude is all it took. Two years later when she was settled she sent us each a cheque and was furious with us for never cashing them!! Enough said all it took we a thank you for helping me. At some point we all need a little support. They sound like horrible ungrateful people and if they are any way embarrassed about there situation well then suck it up and say so. What bothers me most about this whole situation is that they couldn't be bothered to keep in contact which just shows how little respect or care they have for them in the first place.

I'd happily burn there stuff or donate it, its been two years they obviously don't need it.

I completely understand. I'm the same way. I genuinely wanted to help so they would have more money and a great time travelling. If in the whole 2 years they sent one message to say 'we're staying a bit longer, hope you don't mind, thanks for taking our stuff' and another to say happy birthday to my daughter this thread wouldn't even exist.

cuana · 24-05-2014 01:48AM

PLL wrote: »

I completely understand. I'm the same way. I geniunley wanted to help so they would have more money and a great time travelling. If in the whole 2 years they sent one message to say 'we're staying a bit longer, hope you don't mind, thanks for taking our stuff' and another to say happy birthday to my daughter this thread wouldn't even exist.

Exactly! You didn't expect anything in return but the very lack of gratitude or the occasional phone call/e-mail to catch up. They are the one's missing out though I have nieces & nephews and you know what they adore me! They don't see me often but you know what I'll make a wee fuss of them when I do. It doesn't cost me much but my time! I have a nephew I've yet to meet but he knows me he gets to see me on skype

and that's completely free..... A little effort on there part wouldn't go amiss :eek:

Personally I just think they are far too self centered & I just hope they see the errors in there way for your families sake!

InReality · 24-05-2014 01:51AM

Well
Could be they ( genuinely and not being dicks about it) never thought it bothered you ..
Obviously you saw it everyday in your house but to them it was out of sight and out of mind ..
They might have even thought you'd dumped it in the meantime and wouldn't have cared if you had.

ryan101 · 24-05-2014 02:03AM

At least you're rid of the stuff now and rid of them.

24-05-2014 02:42AM

Candie wrote: »

They are obnoxiously ungrateful and entitled. Don't let them drag you into an argument where you run the risk of looking ungracious. But never do them a favour again either.

What he said.

No offense OP, but you sound like the biggest doormat that ever wore shoe leather. OK, granted they are family, but that fact didn't seem to deter them from dumping all over you, now did it? And in all fairness, you've admitted you saw the problem looming a very very long time before it came to a head and yet still continued to be a pushover.

Just one short message was all you needed:
"I don't give a good wet fart whether you're living next door or living in Australia. I took your stuff for 12 months. It's now 12 months and 1 day and my patience has a limit. You got 48 hours to get your crap out of my crib or I put a match to it all."

Chinasea · 24-05-2014 08:06AM

Communicate that their failure to acknowledge their agreement with you has long expired and that you would like to revisit the situation to assess what suits and what does not suit now.

Time to sell and split proceeds or donate to somebody in needs.

chuckyarelaw · 24-05-2014 08:19AM

Wipe your arse on everything

myshirt · 24-05-2014 08:28AM

Genuinely and wholeheartedly, I mean this

GET OVER IT

Admldj · 24-05-2014 08:42AM

I was in a similar situation op, brother in laws stuff filled my garage and attic when he couldn't afford storage place any more, he never bothered to contact us once looking for his crap and moved house a few times so he could have, i got sick of looking at it there before Christmas, ordered a skip and dumped the lot ,felt great garage and attic empty and feeling like mine again! his reaction? thanks saved me the bother! I swear I wouldn't store a stamp for anyone ever again!

Baron Kurtz · 24-05-2014 08:43AM

GonnaFreak1994 wrote: »

Oh yeah, don't get me wrong I enjoy and it is better than playing xbox, but I've been working on it since I was 5 (obviously doing small stuff then) but now I own a few bulls and will be selling them next year (3 big herefords)

Also, just finished reading all of the OP post, how the fcuk can they expect you to to look after their stuff when your in the black!!!! I say step up now and ask them what's going on, otherwise they will just continue to abuse your position further! Tell them to deal directly to you, if they have the indecency to leave you with their stuff for 2 years then they should at least talk to you directly. Honestly, just shows what they are if anything. There's always someone in the family willing to take advantage off bro/sis.

In the black is a good thing, no?

evolving_doors · 24-05-2014 08:55AM

Hmm I think you should maybe move the initial post to the personal issues forum OP...

Its a bit too big and taking up a lot of room!

On a more serious note OP... Have you mentioned that you need the space to the inlaws?
If you think about it you might have paid for a 4 bedroomed house but you may as well be living in a 3 bedroom one....that's a saving of about €20,000 right there. The fact that they havn't contacted you is just taking the pi55,

let your other half give them an ultimatum and make sure the whole family know that he'll be chucking it out because you have to, not because of facebook gripes (this will just give them ammo for any gripe).

As you are an in law id stay the hell out of it, your other half needs to step up to the plate an deal with their own family problems.

As for facebook..... de-friend.

As a matter of interest op, could you list whats there and what area you are in, photos will help too!

Butterface · 24-05-2014 09:11AM

This is ridiculous. Absolute pair of pisstakers! Keep the feud from developing on Facebook, but you definitely should say something to them.

Put it all down in an email, or even request a phonecall with them. Tell them what you've told us, and ask them if it was the reverse would they have expected to get the same treatment.

I wouldn't mind storing stuff for a sibling if they went abroad, but I'd be expecting to keep in regular contact and also a smidgeen of gratitude. This is rage-inducing!!

Oryx · 24-05-2014 09:14AM

Op, you are far too soft. These people don't care about you so just tell them how you feel like you've told us here. They just won't contact you again which will mean nothing changes!

If the stuff isn't gone, give them a week to get rid or youre hiring a skip. Stop being nice to people who treat you badly.

Tail Docker · 24-05-2014 09:14AM

PLL wrote: »

When they told us they were moving to OZ they said they got the storage estimated and it was going to be €2,000 a yr. I then said they could keep it in our spare room to save the money and keep it for their trip to oz.

Thanks for all the replies, it is good to see so many other points of view. In regards to selling it, it is pure junk. 14" large back tv, boxes VHS Disney videos, sentimental crap. They are pure hoarders. If any of it was useful we would be using it, but it has sat there. We would love the extra room. It is our only spare room, visitors have to sleep on the sofa bed in the dining room.

I'm on your side PLL -but there's your mistake - never a good deed goes unpunished.

The same happened to us, huge amount of stuff left with us, no thanks, no nothing. Happily though, I'm also a fecker, so I literally threw it all into the dampest, leakiest shed I have, and when douche-couple turned up to "check" their gear ( and were arrogant enough in that itself...)it was in absolute mouldy shyte.

Removal suddenly became their number one priority. I've also lost count of the number of times they dumped their kids on us, even fairly long-term occasionally.. but kids I can live with - it's not their fault their parents are ar5eholes.

gg2 · 24-05-2014 09:17AM

Are the brothers close? Are you close with the girlfriend? Myself and my other half are going travelling next year, I will be in contact with all my family but one of my brothers is a bit of a flake I know I won't hear a word from him so won't be busting myself to contact him, nothing negative to say about him, its just the type of him. Have you tried to contact them? Is there a chance that he is really really close with the cousin and they are in regular contact since he left?

On the issue of the stuff, sometimes people are just so wrapped up in themselves they just don't think. I have a friend like that, who I love, and if you just point something out to her she'll say "fuk I never even thought/ didn't realise, and be full of apologies.

anto9 · 24-05-2014 10:41AM

>>On the issue of the stuff, sometimes people are just so wrapped up in themselves they just don't think. I have a friend like that, who I love, and if you just point something out to her she'll say "fuk I never even thought/ didn't realise, and be full of apologies. <<

ITS FAR MORE THAN THAT WITH THE OPs RELATIVES .

p,s , OP have the Courier CO.come yet to take the stuff away ? At this stage i think there is little you can do .After the first year and when you moved house was the time to have given them a final notice .i e ,get your things removed or we dump it .

P,S,To those who called this a silly topic ,well you are not forced to read or reply to it ,so shut up .

Cee-Jay-Cee · 24-05-2014 11:00AM

They sound like a pair of right ignorant selfish inconsiderate bastards, the type of people that you wouldn't want as friends....so tell them to fcuk off and sort their own things that you will be leaving all their **** in your garden and they could do what they bloody well liked with it after that. I wouldn't put myself out one second more over a pair like that.

evolving_doors · 24-05-2014 11:14AM

gg2 wrote: »

Are the brothers close? Are you close with the girlfriend? Myself and my other half are going travelling next year, I will be in contact with all my family but one of my brothers is a bit of a flake I know I won't hear a word from him so won't be busting myself to contact him, nothing negative to say about him, its just the type of him. Have you tried to contact them? Is there a chance that he is really really close with the cousin and they are in regular contact since he left?

On the issue of the stuff, sometimes people are just so wrapped up in themselves they just don't think. I have a friend like that, who I love, and if you just point something out to her she'll say "fuk I never even thought/ didn't realise, and be full of apologies.

Ya, second that,,, the issue really is two lads,, which lets be honest here don;t give a fiddlers either way. So the real issue you have is with your other half's brother's other half!!! Hows that ever going to be resolved through facebook and passing on messages.

It's the men's fault. get one of them to give an ultimatum and then act accordingly...Then either sell it, bin it or move to another relative. Job is oxo.

Let us know how this ends OP...

kylith · 24-05-2014 11:30AM

Don't ask them when the courier will be coming tell them 'It's to be out of my house by Friday or it goes in a skip'. And stick to that. I had similar with my brother, he left a load of crap here when he moved out after a couple of years I binned it and when he came looking I told him "I told you to come get it, you didn't get it so I assumed you didn't want it and I chucked it out". He took the crap he'd left in the shed pretty sharpish after that.

weemcd · 24-05-2014 11:32AM

Sell their stuff

chuckyarelaw · 24-05-2014 11:44AM

weemcd wrote: »

Sell their stuff

If you do this best not to take my advice from earlier - wiping your arse on everything will make things harder to sell.

Pumpkinseeds · 24-05-2014 12:09PM

If they've not bothered with their stuff for years then it isn't important to them. I'd go through it and sell anything of value then put any junk in a skip, then send them the bill for the skip:)

weemcd · 24-05-2014 12:12PM

Actually give them a date. Tell them they have until X to collect. If the date passes everything is fair game. They may be family and all but burn them, you don't need using pieces of shit like that in your life, family or not.

RustDaz · 24-05-2014 03:08PM

post pics of every item here and we can offer you cash.

anto9 · 24-05-2014 05:58PM

Many ,many silly replys but as of yet nothing constructive .The intelligence level on this forum is near the floor .Is it mostly young kids under 17 ,with no or little life experience who frequent After hours ?seems so .

ratmouse · 24-05-2014 06:00PM

Furniture equivalent of cash for gold

flutered · 24-05-2014 06:03PM

you can pick your friends but not your relations, i any country in the eu bar ireland, familys claan togeaather help themselves, in ireland all they are interested in is sticking the scian between the ribs.

Tail Docker · 24-05-2014 06:04PM

anto9 wrote: »

Many ,many silly replys but as of yet nothing constructive .The intelligence level on this forum is near the floor .Is it mostly young kids under 17 ,with no or little life experience who frequent After hours ?seems so .

I have studied this for the mature, sensible advice contained within and come up empty.

enfield · 24-05-2014 06:07PM

Tell them you are moving house shortly. If they want their stuff to make arrangements but you wont be there in four weeks time and it will be left behind.

Saved family €4,000, shockingly ungrateful

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