Have you ever read the Bible

kneemos · 08-05-2014 11:39PM

The Bible can stop a speeding bullet.
Enough said.Case rested.

Joe prim · 08-05-2014 11:40PM

Hootanany wrote: »

So do I start at the beginning ?

Yes, start at Genesis, I think there's some stuff about Phil Collins' solo work in there as well. " And lo, the Lord saith unto Adam ( out of the Ants) , I can feel it coming in the air tonight.....etc..."

Apiarist · 08-05-2014 11:41PM

Chancer3001 wrote: »

It's absolutely hilarious in the Old Testament.

+1 for the Old Testament

The Book of Revelation is also a great read.

catallus · 08-05-2014 11:45PM

Goethe wrote "In the beginning was the WORD! Here I am stuck already...."

If a mind so attuned to knowledge and poetry had trouble delving into the depths of such a book then does that not suggest a small bit of humility on our part?

Chancer3001 · 08-05-2014 11:45PM

The Jesus stuff makes zero sense either,

Oh he's a man, he's mortal ....uh no, he's doing magic miracles...oh no, wait he's a normal guy...uhh oh, more magic....uh he can't get off the cross cos he's just a regul....uhhhh no, he resurrected.

He died for our sins ya know. So that your sins would be cleaned.....uh, no, you're still born with original sin.

Mr. CooL ICE · 08-05-2014 11:45PM

Jesus dies

Lucifer MorningStar · 08-05-2014 11:46PM

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umop.episdn · 08-05-2014 11:51PM

Did Jesus have to pay Mary Magdalene for sex, or did he just absolve her of her sins in the morning, so she could start with a clean slate?

AlekSmart · 09-05-2014 12:47AM

Chancer3001 wrote: »

The Jesus stuff makes zero sense either,

Oh he's a man, he's mortal ....uh no, he's doing magic miracles...oh no, wait he's a normal guy...uhh oh, more magic....uh he can't get off the cross cos he's just a regul....uhhhh no, he resurrected.

He died for our sins ya know. So that your sins would be cleaned.....uh, no, you're still born with original sin.

Wellllllll Ted,It all depends Y'see on yer knowledge of Aramaic....

http://www.latintimes.com/1500-year-old-bible-discovered-turkey-indicates-jesus-christ-was-not-crucified-171471

I've always had a soft spot for poor oul Barabbas......I'd say the Evening Herald would have loved him....:o

Lucifer MorningStar · 09-05-2014 01:07AM

Chancer3001 wrote: »

The Jesus stuff makes zero sense either,

Oh he's a man, he's mortal ....uh no, he's doing magic miracles...oh no, wait he's a normal guy...uhh oh, more magic....uh he can't get off the cross cos he's just a regul....uhhhh no, he resurrected.

He died for our sins ya know. So that your sins would be cleaned.....uh, no, you're still born with original sin.

Jesus is really just a metaphor for sun

Here's a few examples

The sun “dies” for three days at the winter solstice, to be born again on December 25th

The “Sun of God” “changes water into wine” by creating rain, ripening the grape on the vine and fermenting the grape juice.

The “Sun of God” “walks on water,” referring to its’ reflection upon the waters' surface

The “Sun of God” is the “Light of the World” and “comes on clouds, and every eye shall see him.”

The “Sun of God” rising in the morning is the “Savior of mankind

bogwalrus · 09-05-2014 01:46AM

It is such an old book so worth the read as an historical document. Pretty useless other than that.

Czarcasm · 09-05-2014 01:49AM

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Went to a Church of Ireland primary school. So yes. Used win the Bible prize regularly. Still know more Bible than most Catholics

Still know more Bible than those Catholics that you're aware of, would surely be a more accurate statement?

I wonder has anyone here also read the Qur'an, the Hadith, or the Tanakh, or the various Hindu and Buddhist texts?

Dan_Solo wrote: »

Cover to cover.
Know your enemy.

An atheist says "know your what?".

Or is that just anti-theist point of view that says all that stuff about 'enemies'. If that's the case and you plan on taking on all religions, you have your work cut out for you informing yourself and getting to know ALL your 'enemies'.

Insect Overlord · 09-05-2014 01:56AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

An atheist says "know your what?".

Or is that just anti-theist point of view that says all that stuff about 'enemies'. If that's the case and you plan on taking on all religions, you have your work cut out for you informing yourself and getting to know ALL your 'enemies'.

Touch a nerve, did they?

endacl · 09-05-2014 02:00AM

Cover to cover? No. Why would you? I've only one lifetime, and there's so much else that's actually worth reading to get through before I'd bother with disjointed Bronze Age ramblings. And the New Testament? Short version: I'm my own dad, I impregnated my mother, who is also my child, and I'm a ghost, except when I'm a zombie and/or the main course at a ritual Sunday lunch. Also, I'll be back, so behave!

Disclaimer: revelations rocks. \m/ :pac:

Czarcasm · 09-05-2014 02:09AM

An File wrote: »

Touch a nerve, did they?

Well not really, I mean, Roman Catholicism is only one of many religions, and the Christian Bible is only one book (or a collection of books, if we're going to be really picky!), so I just wonder about Dan's conflating his atheist philosophy with his anti-theism stance.

Atheism doesn't have enemies. That's why atheists don't start wars. Dan seems to be fighting an imaginary one (I'm not sure is it just the one religion he's planning on taking on, or all of them?) and that's not a good sign!

statesaver · 09-05-2014 03:06AM

Yes and it reinforced my atheism

Adamantium · 09-05-2014 03:54AM

As an agnostic, The good bits in the Bible (or any holy book) are a "bible" to live by, you just have to be intelligent enough to know which bits they are

Unfortunately we don't live in a world like that.

I often wonder will Archealogists return to Future Earth tens of thousands of years from now, they might dig up a 10000 piece collection of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich buried in some ancient library and assume(wrongly) that was the prevailing literature of the day that we all lived by.

The good timeless truths of human living will always end up being recycled anyway over and over again to form a "bible" of sorts.

We're probably on No 13241 at the mo, but we think it has and will be this way forever. It won't.

We're not at the end of history folks, that's a dangerous thought that brings out the armageddon followers in every religion, who want the world to end on their watch, because they can't bear for the world it go on without them. I always think of this scene in Contact when it comes to that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZn825jemqk

jill_valentine · 09-05-2014 03:58AM

Yeah. It makes absolutely no sense as a moral framework and it's impossible to reconcile it as a cohesive theological primer - the early bits even have multiple gods! - and long stretches are boring. But it's got some cool imagery, neat turns of phrase, and some of it is just so mad it's kind of thrilling.

Seriously - imagine a society where bat eating was such a serious problem that somebody had to make a specific rule to say "Lads, lay off the feckin' bat eating."

Arthur Beesley · 09-05-2014 07:23AM

No.

Akrasia · 09-05-2014 07:31AM

Sulla Felix wrote: »

Isn't it all just quotes of what Jesus said though, as remembered by various people? I kind of thought that's what the gospels were.

If only the incarnated omniscient supreme being wasn't illiterate, we could have read his exact words written by his own hand

creolebelle · 09-05-2014 07:43AM

Yes. I went to parochial school all the way up so I was tested on it. It wouldn't look right to college admission counselors that you got a c in theology.
In college I had taken several English classes that required us to read the books of the Old Testament as an epics which upset some of the other students and led to some interesting debates

LizzieJones · 09-05-2014 07:47AM

Many years ago, I actually did a mail in Bible Course. I can't remember why. I think I was going through a religious phase.

Akrasia · 09-05-2014 08:09AM

For anyone who wants to know what's actually in the bible without having to sit through all the begatting there's a youtube channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheBibleReloaded

It's actually pretty funny

Howard the Duck · 09-05-2014 08:48AM

"Always seemed like a rubbish lord of the rings"

Riskymove · 09-05-2014 08:52AM

Adamantium wrote: »

As an agnostic, The good bits in the Bible (or any holy book) are a "bible" to live by, you just have to be intelligent enough to know which bits they are

great point

I agree, there are many "lessons" and "ideals" in the bible which have relevance in how people live their lives regardless of religious beliefs, I am sure the same can be found in other religion's teachings

It is unfortunate that everything tends to be thrown out (the baby with the bathwather perhaps!) when people don't believe

humanji · 09-05-2014 08:54AM

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Jesus is really just a metaphor for sun

Here's a few examples

The sun “dies” for three days at the winter solstice, to be born again on December 25th

The “Sun of God” “changes water into wine” by creating rain, ripening the grape on the vine and fermenting the grape juice.

The “Sun of God” “walks on water,” referring to its’ reflection upon the waters' surface

The “Sun of God” is the “Light of the World” and “comes on clouds, and every eye shall see him.”

The “Sun of God” rising in the morning is the “Savior of mankind

That only makes sense in English. In the original writings, the words "son" and "sun" are not similar in any way.

Riskymove · 09-05-2014 08:54AM

kneemos wrote: »

Catholics don't read the Bible,

like any7 generalisation I am sure it doesn't apply to everyone.

However, in my experience, thinking on my parents and grandparents and similar, there is a ring of truth to this. I don't remember anyone specifically sitting down and reading the bible.

They did,however, tend to have prayer books and read specific prayers etc.

_MadRa_ · 09-05-2014 08:56AM

i read the new testament, so much repetition.
the main character dies right at the beginning.

wendell borton · 09-05-2014 09:02AM

umop.episdn wrote: »

Did Jesus have to pay Mary Magdalene for sex, or did he just absolve her of her sins in the morning, so she could start with a clean slate?

No where does it say she was a prostitute, she was a follower who happened to be female. It suits the male run church to have her besmirched.

c_man · 09-05-2014 09:18AM

Tropheus wrote: »

I don't like fiction. BTW, I've heard that he dies in the end.

Ah they left it open for a sequel. But they're still waiting. Like Half Life 3.

I've read it. Not a believer or anything but it's kinda interesting. Lots of mad stuff going on.

Have you ever read the Bible

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