Peaches Geldof dead aged 25 - MOD NOTE: NO JOKES

amdublin · 09-04-2014 08:07AM

I don't think closure means that it lessens the family's grief in anyway.

What it does do is answer the question "how/why". So in essence it gives closure to one question.

Bad enough struggling with your grief, but also struggling with the "why"...I hope they get closure for that.

09-04-2014 08:17AM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Otherwise, grief is grief, knowing the details won't take the edge off it.

The exception to this of course is if it was some hereditary condition, like the apparently hereditary aneurysms that blight Geldofs family.

If it was this that killed her it might be very important for some medical investigations into his other girls.

If it's unpredictable or untreatable or unpreventable, it means he lives in abject terror of this happening to another of his daughters or grandchildren, for the rest of his life.

As someone who's lost a close family member (although we knew the cause and it was after a long illness), I do think the cause of death is a crucial piece of information for the family, and that that closure - as trite and as overused as the term may be - is sometimes all you have to hope for and all you can hang on to. It might not ease the grief in some universal way, but it changes the quality of it.

axel rose · 09-04-2014 09:39AM

Candie wrote: »

The exception to this of course is if it was some hereditary condition, like the apparently hereditary aneurysms that blight Geldofs family.

If it was this that killed her it might be very important for some medical investigations into his other girls.

If it's unpredictable or untreatable or unpreventable, it means he lives in abject terror of this happening to another of his daughters or grandchildren, for the rest of his life.

As someone who's lost a close family member (although we knew the cause and it was after a long illness), I do think the cause of death is a crucial piece of information for the family, and that that closure - as trite and as overused as the term may be - is sometimes all you have to hope for and all you can hang on to. It might not ease the grief in some universal way, but it changes the quality of it.

I logged on to make this very point. With sudden death there are a ton on questions and fears- the worst would be- what are the odds that this could happen again? She has two very small children, and her siblings are also at risk. Knowing what killed her is crucial.

'Closure'- what other word would YOU deem appropriate Muise?

09-04-2014 09:50AM

axel rose wrote: »

I logged on to make this very point. With sudden death there are a ton on questions and fears- the worst would be- what are the odds that this could happen again? She has two very small children, and her siblings are also at risk. Knowing what killed her is crucial.

'Closure'- what other word would YOU deem appropriate Muise?

To be fair, I think Muise was more commenting on the more trite, chat-show definition in relation to the interested onlooker, and not the more personal meaning to the directly affected family and friends.

The public doesn't need Oprah style closure, but the family need their answers.

Muise... · 09-04-2014 09:54AM

axel rose wrote: »

I logged on to make this very point. With sudden death there are a ton on questions and fears- the worst would be- what are the odds that this could happen again? She has two very small children, and her siblings are also at risk. Knowing what killed her is crucial.

'Closure'- what other word would YOU deem appropriate Muise?

Peace

Patience

Acceptance

Mindfulness

Listening

(sorry this next one is a string of words, but life and death are complicated like that)

Reading posts carefully before losing one's temper.

Ann Landers · 09-04-2014 09:58AM

^^^^^^

One could most certainly argue that 'mindfulness' is even more wanky than 'closure'. Both are recognised by mental health workers though, with mindfulness being a bit more vogueish at the moment. Closure as an idea is unfairly maligned, it's something that it has been popular to berate. You certainly have it in for it, anyway.

Muise... · 09-04-2014 10:08AM

Ann Landers wrote: »

^^^^^^

One could most certainly argue that 'mindfulness' is even more wanky than 'closure'. Both are recognised by mental health workers though, with mindfulness being a bit more vogueish at the moment. Closure as an idea is unfairly maligned, it's something that it has been popular to berate. You certainly have it in for it, anyway.

Hey, I'm just trying to be clear and keep some semblance of integrity, but objectivity vs pain is not a fair fight.

Ann Landers · 09-04-2014 10:13AM

Muise... wrote: »

Hey, I'm just trying to be clear and keep some semblance of integrity, but objectivity vs pain is not a fair fight.

Well, that's a nothing post if ever there was one. What does that even mean?

bobwilliams · 09-04-2014 10:16AM

read the last few pages and they remind me of the discussions/arguments I have with my headstrong(beyond belief)13 year old......move on please

Muise... · 09-04-2014 11:58AM

Ann Landers wrote: »

Well, that's a nothing post if ever there was one. What does that even mean?

It means (sorry bobwilliams

), that having unintentionally upset a widow, I am trying to clarify what I meant (integrity) without being drawn into an emotional fight.

ahnowbrowncow · 09-04-2014 12:01PM

bobwilliams wrote: »

read the last few pages and they remind me of the discussions/arguments I have with my headstrong(beyond belief)13 year old......move on please

Never.

yellow hen · 09-04-2014 12:04PM

bobwilliams wrote: »

read the last few pages and they remind me of the discussions/arguments I have with my headstrong(beyond belief)13 year old......move on please

Agreed. No matter what the thread is, there are always a few posters (intentionally or unintentionally as may be the case here) who want to steal the limelight.

I don't think it is our position to comment on cause of death or the feelings or grief experienced to those closest to Peaches Geldof. Whatever the circumstances, a young mother, wife and daughter has died and it is a tragedy.

jane82 · 09-04-2014 12:12PM

Yeah but I have 3 kids so I have to mention that before I say rip. Maybe say I hugged them a bit more this morning as well. People need to know my rip is more valueable than everybody elses. Might even quote a joke and call the guy out on it. Ask him to have some respect.
I could get about 6 thanks for that.

ahnowbrowncow · 09-04-2014 12:29PM

jane82 wrote: »

Yeah but I have 3 kids so I have to mention that before I say rip. Maybe say I hugged them a bit more this morning as well. People need to know my rip is more valueable than everybody elses. Might even quote a joke and call the guy out on it. Ask him to have some respect.
I could get about 6 thanks for that.

The posters you're mocking seem too be winding you up. Just click the unfollow thread icon, ignorance is bliss.

jane82 · 09-04-2014 12:31PM

They arnt winding me up in the slightest its just a song I wrote.

humanji · 09-04-2014 12:55PM

Cut out the pettiness and the trolling.

Donkey Oaty · 09-04-2014 01:31PM

Post-mortem result, via Telegraph:

A post-mortem examination into the death of Peaches Geldof has proved inconclusive pending the results of toxicology tests.
Kent Police said officers are continuing to investigate the circumstances around the 25-year-old's death and a toxicology report could take several weeks.

jane82 · 09-04-2014 01:57PM

Thatd fall in line with my round of text messages theory.

Mr. Nice · 09-04-2014 01:59PM

Thatd (sic) also fall in line with my space monkeys theory...

Or any other theory for that matter.

iwantmydinner · 09-04-2014 02:00PM

jane82 wrote: »

Thatd fall in line with my round of text messages theory.

Why are you so obsessed with being right about this?

jane82 · 09-04-2014 02:10PM

iwantmydinner wrote: »

Why are you so obsessed with being right about this?

I do it with all news stories. Im usually right.

Lollipops23 · 09-04-2014 02:15PM

jane82 wrote: »

Thatd fall in line with my round of text messages theory.

Mr. Nice wrote: »

Thatd (sic) also fall in line with my space monkeys theory...

Or any other theory for that matter.

jane82 wrote: »

I do it with all news stories. Im usually right.

Jesus H Christ, would you all cut it out PLEASE?!!

ibarelycare · 11-04-2014 09:41AM

It's been reported this morning that Peaches' 11-month-old son Phaedra was with her when she passed. So sad, I hope it wasn't too long before she was found, the poor baby

Merkin · 11-04-2014 10:34AM

I just read that too. What an awfully sad end and so reminiscent of her Mum dying in the company of her baby all those years ago too.

Thankfully the baby won't remember any of it.

http://www.breakingnews.ie/showbiz/peaches-11-month-old-son-with-her-when-she-died-627566.html

Piliger · 11-04-2014 04:31PM

Who on earth is this Peaches Geldof other than some spoilt child of Bob ?
I have NOTHING against her, mind ! and I love Bob. But really ... WTF is this all about ?
She is a virtually unknown young woman who writes a column unknown to 99% of people and has no talent or importance whatsoever. The only people interesting in this day after day after day after day coverage in the media are her family and friends.

11-04-2014 04:50PM

Piliger wrote: »

Who on earth is this Peaches Geldof other than some spoilt child of Bob ?
I have NOTHING against her, mind ! and I love Bob. But really ... WTF is this all about ?
She is a virtually unknown young woman who writes a column unknown to 99% of people and has no talent or importance whatsoever. The only people interesting in this day after day after day after day coverage in the media are her family and friends.

I've no idea if she was spoilt, since I didn't know her personally. And never having read her columns, I've no idea if she was talented or not, or if she's important to her readers, so I can't confidently form an opinion on that either.

She's notable to me because she's Bobs daughter, and it's a family tragedy in a sad procession of tragedies for him. That makes it newsworthy, surely?

Piliger · 11-04-2014 04:52PM

Candie wrote: »

I've no idea if she was spoilt, since I didn't know her personally. And never having read her columns, I've no idea if she was talented or not, or if she's important to her readers, so I can't confidently form an opinion on that either.

She's notable to me because she's Bobs daughter, and it's a family tragedy in a sad procession of tragedies for him. That makes it newsworthy, surely?

For how many days ? spread over all of the newspapers and tv ? please !

11-04-2014 04:56PM

Piliger wrote: »

For how many days ? spread over all of the newspapers and tv ? please !

It's a family tragedy with some public interest, and the history of tragedy in the family makes it fodder for the tabloids.

Yes, it's too much.

It is completely unnecessary to malign the dead girl though.

LorMal · 11-04-2014 04:59PM

Piliger wrote: »

For how many days ? spread over all of the newspapers and tv ? please !

But if you feel that way, why on earth are you posting comments about it?
Surely you can visit other threads that you are interested in instead.
Looking for something to be contrary about?

Piliger · 11-04-2014 05:04PM

LorMal wrote: »

But if you feel that way, why on earth are you posting comments about it?
Surely you can visit other threads that you are interested in instead.
Looking for something to be contrary about?

I'm writing to a thread about her passing because that's what I want to comment on. Why do you have a problem with that ?

Peaches Geldof dead aged 25 - MOD NOTE: NO JOKES

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