What's the stupidest thing you've ever done to yourself?

SparkySpitfire · 31-03-2014 05:23AM

scudzilla wrote: »

Big Man Utd fan, and grew up in Wales, used to go to all home games and most away in the late 80's

Anyways, had this ingrowing toe nail, and it hurt like nothing else, couldn't walk or stand for long periods of time.

Was due to get it out in Sept '88, but George Bests testimonial was in Belfast in the August, and a few of the lads were heading over, so i pulled it out, with a pair of pliers

Had a great time at the game though

You absolute psycho :eek:

WikiHow wrote: »

The beginning?

Nah man, the Backwards Man starts at the end. :P

Fortunately, the only stupid things I've done to myself are minor. Although I remember when I was about 5, my mum had my "easter dress" out and I was brandishing a pair of this round-edged primary school art class scissors.
Mum: "Sparky put that down, they're dangerous" Me: "Muuuuuum, they're not dangerous! They couldn't even cut anything *starts running blade along arm*" Mum: "No, Sparky put them down NOW." Me: "Mum stop being stupid, they really can't cut anything, look! *snips gigantic hole into Easter dress*

Wow was I sorry I did that. Never underestimate the sharpness of scissors

Irish Guitarist · 31-03-2014 07:34AM

About a year ago I was cutting my toenails and was having a hard time cutting the big one. I cut it half way across and then pulled it out the rest of the way with my fingers. I had done this before without any problems but this time I pulled the nail downwards rather than across and my toe started bleeding. I had to put a plaster on it every day for about four months until the nail grew back. I think there are still blood stains inside some of my shoes.

AulBiddy · 31-03-2014 07:58AM

Went to my locker in school, dropped my schoolbag down onto my elbow to get out a book. Stupid idea considering I had really long hair - hair got caught in my bag strap, head jerked and ended up hitting the very corner of my eye off the edge of the locker. Have a little scar beside my right eye now.

stimpson · 31-03-2014 08:17AM

Opening Hilti bullets with a hammer and nail to harvest the gun powder. I was about 12 and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I had around 5 of them done when they're was a loud bang followed by ringing into ears and a reasonably large amount of blood. Apparently I looked like I had grown lots of freckles on my face. Washed off and bandaged the wound and never told me ma.

Many many years later I had an operation on a lump on my hand where the surgeon removed several pieces of shrapnel.

Teyla Emmagan · 31-03-2014 08:57AM

At the age of 8 I picked the scabs off my tonsil wounds the week after I had them taken out. With a Bic biro. Spent a week in Crumlin on a drip after.

Confessed the truth to my parents 20 years later.

sbsquarepants · 31-03-2014 10:09AM

GhostInTheRuins wrote: »

So I throw a few on and only after eating a bunch of them I noticed that the eggs I used have been gone off for two weeks.

So I just gave myself a woeful dose of salmonella food poisoning. ****e'n and heaving the whole day.

.

You probably just have a bug of some sort - the eggs would still be fine for another month or so once they were in the fridge.

homemadecider · 31-03-2014 10:13AM

Back when I was a student in a houseshare, I got up one morning to find a pile of my housemate's clothes ready go to Oxfam. Had a rummage through the pile and found a really nice pair of trousers in good condition. I couldn't understand why she'd be getting rid of them so I decided to wear them to college that day.

I soon found out why she was giving them away.

Picture the scene... I'm through the arch of Trinity College and coming into front square. One arm is carrying a load of library books, the other arm is occupied with a hot coffee. Front square is really, really busy and there are loads of tourists and students about. Suddenly I feel something kind of 'give' and I realise the side zip has released itself on the trousers and they are slipping... I haven't any free hands to grab the trousers and before I can work out what to do they fall right down and I'm standing in the middle of front square with my trousers round my ankles.

The worst part was (I'm really cringing now) I was wearing really really awful leopard print knickers and now everyone could see.

I don't think I went back to college for a week after that.

Renegade Mechanic · 31-03-2014 10:15AM

Serves you right for robbing them poor Africans!!!

harry Bailey esq · 31-03-2014 10:23AM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

You probably just have a bug of some sort - the eggs would still be fine for another month or so once they were in the fridge.

eggs don't need to be refrigerated,and are safe for about a month,your right it probably was just a bug.

Noxin · 31-03-2014 10:26AM

Using a toenail cutter on my tooth when I was a child. Actually managed to take the tip off too. Pain was sickening.

Maximus Alexander · 31-03-2014 10:28AM

Jumped out of an aeroplane. I mean, it was really fun and I would do it again, but if you think about it it's pretty stupid.

PizzamanIRL · 31-03-2014 10:36AM

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

what in gods name possessed you to do that???
'The Incredible Mickey'

Haven't a clue. I was just a stupid 6 year old but I was terrified when I thought it was gonna fall off.

Going Strong · 31-03-2014 10:37AM

Must be thirty years ago now. Came home from the pub rather drunk, put on a couple of mini pizzas and ate same. Grand, only I have a bit of food caught in my teeth. So, I took a fork and had a dig about. I was a bit too enthusiastic and punctured a molar. Only, I hadn't realised how rotten it was as some sort of foul liquid came out, causing me to throw up all over the kitchen floor. Then came the pain, lots and lots of pain. It was early hours of Sunday morning so I had to wait until the Monday afternoon before I could see the dentist. "Fill her up" says I. "Not a chance, it's too far gone. That'll have to come out" says he. So, half an hour of him kneeling on my chest and yanking out bits of tooth ensued.

Then there was the time I was flirting with a girl. She made some comment about being carried over a threshold. So, I decided to oblige by going all Mills & Boon and carrying her over the threshold of my bedroom and down the stairs, only I fell and we landed in a heap at the bottom. She was grand but I'd wrenched my knee and ended up on crutches for a month. I never got anywhere with her either.

Blazer · 31-03-2014 10:40AM

Not backing Franky Detori for his 7 horse win.
A regular at the bar I worked in at the time gave me the tip but since I had no interest in horses I didn't bother.
Needless to say 8 hours later I was kicking myself.
Wouldn't mind but he was one of those guys who'd only put a few pence on a horse etc but he got 10 grand or something.

Irishcrx · 31-03-2014 10:52AM

When I was 10 or something I drank bleach , was watching a movie and had just poured a glass of Club oranage and it was sitting beside a cup for of bleach , reached over not looking and just drank it, was too late before I realised wtf I'd done.

Throat was on absolute fire , had to get rushed into temple street and have my stomach pumped.

Not a good experience.

Dramatik · 31-03-2014 11:16AM

One year I was on holidays with my parents when I was about 9 or 10, I remember the weather being unusually warm that summer, well for Ireland anyway. I was out enjoying the sun when my ma told me to head inside and put on some sun tan lotion as I was going to get burned. So I head inside into her room and I see two bottles sitting on the bedside table, being 9 or 10 I just picked up the closest bottle and started lathering the stuff on. Yep you guessed it, I had just covered myself head to toe in my ma's fake tan. It's must have been some kind of industrial strength fake tan, it only started fading after a week and I had orange palms for at least 3 weeks after!

Motivator · 31-03-2014 11:33AM

Blazer wrote: »

Not backing Franky Detori for his 7 horse win.
A regular at the bar I worked in at the time gave me the tip but since I had no interest in horses I didn't bother.
Needless to say 8 hours later I was kicking myself.
Wouldn't mind but he was one of those guys who'd only put a few pence on a horse etc but he got 10 grand or something.

You got a tip for 7 horses in one day? Come on now, seriously?

What's the name of this bar man or does he really exist?

31-03-2014 01:00PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

When I was 10 or something I drank bleach , was watching a movie and had just poured a glass of Club oranage and it was sitting beside a cup for of bleach , reached over not looking and just drank it, was too late before I realised wtf I'd done.

Throat was on absolute fire , had to get rushed into temple street and have my stomach pumped.

Not a good experience.

who leaves cups of bleach lying around??:eek:

Ciderswigger · 31-03-2014 01:03PM

Motivator wrote: »

What's the name of this bar man or does he really exist?

Blazer...

Pumpkinseeds · 31-03-2014 01:05PM

We went to a Hilton cocktail bar for my 30th birthday, I needed to drown my sorrows. Worked my way through the cocktail menu, including the ones that you have to inhale the fumes from. Then managed to fall on the way to the downstairs toilets. I slipped all the way down on my ass and bruised my back.

Got home and nodded off for a minute with a lit ciggy in my hand, and managed to burn a hole through a really expensive velvet throw. The shock of falling asleep with the lit ciggy sobered me up fast. 6 weeks later my back was still very painful so I had to go to the doctor with it. I'd managed to damage my tailbone or something, 11 years later I still can't sit on a hard seat for long or I look like an elderly woman hobbling around when I stand up.

murphym7 · 31-03-2014 01:06PM

Started Smoking was the stupidest thing I have ever done to myself.

Kablamo! · 31-03-2014 01:08PM

As a curious child, I once put lego up my nose. I really wedged it up there and it required a hospital visit to remove it.

Jarrod · 31-03-2014 01:28PM

Motivator wrote: »

You got a tip for 7 horses in one day? Come on now, seriously?

What's the name of this bar man or does he really exist?

I presume he's talking about Dettori's 'Magnificent seven', when he won all seven races on one day at Ascot, around '95/'96 I think. A one pound accumulater would have won tens of thousands.

blue note · 31-03-2014 01:53PM

My girlfriend left her house one day locking the front door behind her. Then went to open the porch door only to realise it was locked and she didn't have any keys to open either door. She was trapped in her porch for a couple of hours until her mother came home.

Galwayguy35 · 31-03-2014 03:45PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

When I was 10 or something I drank bleach , was watching a movie and had just poured a glass of Club oranage and it was sitting beside a cup for of bleach , reached over not looking and just drank it, was too late before I realised wtf I'd done.

Throat was on absolute fire , had to get rushed into temple street and have my stomach pumped.

Not a good experience.

Kinda reminds me of a case around here about 30 years ago, a fella who couldn't read gave his uncle Parazone, burned the throat out of him and killed him, they locked him up in the Joy for it.

TimeToShine · 31-03-2014 04:06PM

Noxin wrote: »

Using a toenail cutter on my tooth when I was a child. Actually managed to take the tip off too. Pain was sickening.

This made me physically recoil in horror

on the river · 31-03-2014 05:14PM

Had a **** and got caught. Very awkward conversation

Renegade Mechanic · 31-03-2014 08:07PM

on the river wrote: »

Had a **** and got caught. Very awkward conversation

Should have looked them in the eye and finished like a beast!

csallmighty · 31-03-2014 11:34PM

Got dared to punch myself in the face in a drinking game one night.
Gave myself a mighty wallop and broke my nose and fractured left cheek.
Went to my debs two weeks later looking like the elephant man with two black eyes.

Motivator · 31-03-2014 11:39PM

Jarrod wrote: »

I presume he's talking about Dettori's 'Magnificent seven', when he won all seven races on one day at Ascot, around '95/'96 I think. A one pound accumulater would have won tens of thousands.

I know exactly what he's on about, I just find it hard to believe someone told him to back all 7 horses before they all won.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever done to yourself?

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