What's the stupidest thing you've ever done to yourself?

GhostInTheRuins

I had to get a wisdom tooth out a couple of days ago, so was only eating soft food. "Pancakes would be perfect" says I. So I throw a few on and only after eating a bunch of them I noticed that the eggs I used have been gone off for two weeks.

So I just gave myself a woeful dose of salmonella food poisoning. ****e'n and heaving the whole day.

It's not good craic. It's definitely on the top of the list of stupidest ****e I've done to myself.

PizzamanIRL

Coloured my willy with green marker when I was a child.

My Mammy told me it would fall off. There's another lie that parents tell you :mad:

Wacker The Attacker

Lost a 1200 euro bet

GenieOz

Ripped my banjo string.
Thought she was just tight, then thought she was really wet..

I was really tore, that was really blood..a lot of blood.

PizzamanIRL

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Lost a 1200 euro bet

Wouldn't have been stupid if ya won!

harry Bailey esq

mine usually involve fire.When i was a kid lighting your own farts was all the rage,the whole class was at it,one unfortunate day in April 92 i let rip and burnt the hole off meself i was known as apollo for a while after that,also its not uncommon for me to burn off my eyebrows while drunkenly lighting cigarettes which has led to a quite impressive 'brow that my barber often has to thin out.great thread by the way op.

humbert

Was once cutting packaging with a Stanley knife on a desk. Dragging it toward myself slowly while putting a lot of pressure down on it. Suddenly the resistance disappeared and I plunged it into my thigh. It was a nasty cut but could have been so much worse.

scudzilla

Big Man Utd fan, and grew up in Wales, used to go to all home games and most away in the late 80's

Anyways, had this ingrowing toe nail, and it hurt like nothing else, couldn't walk or stand for long periods of time.

Was due to get it out in Sept '88, but George Bests testimonial was in Belfast in the August, and a few of the lads were heading over, so i pulled it out, with a pair of pliers

Had a great time at the game though

131spanner

Four shots of Sambuca in ~10 minutes when I was 17, came up as quick as it went down. Haven't had it since

Wacker The Attacker

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Wouldn't have been stupid if ya won!

True.

But its stupid because I lost

beano345

Put a black cat banger which I thought was a dud after it didn't go off into my mouth like a smoke, full of drink one night only for it to go off,luckily it blew outwards and left me with a shocked head and ringing ears.....complete silence followed by laughter from everyone in the room!

corner of hells

beano345 wrote: »

Put a black cat banger which I thought was a dud after it didn't go off into my mouth like a smoke, full of drink one night only for it to go off,luckily it blew outwards and left me with a shocked head and ringing ears.....complete silence followed by laughter from everyone in the room!

What's even more astonishing is the fact that you were lighting fireworks indoors.

Wacker The Attacker

beano345 wrote: »

Put a black cat banger which I thought was a dud after it didn't go off into my mouth like a smoke, full of drink one night only for it to go off,luckily it blew outwards and left me with a shocked head and ringing ears.....complete silence followed by laughter from everyone in the room!

podge and rodge did warn you not to stick a banger up your arse at halloween

Sir Arthur Daley

Got Married.

Mrs W

Opened a pack of sharp knives with a sharp knife, it happened so quick I don't know if it was the knife or the edge of the plastic packet that sliced through my two fingers but I can't even type it without making a face :eek:

harry Bailey esq

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Coloured my willy with green marker when I was a child.

My Mammy told me it would fall off. There's another lie that parents tell you :mad:

what in gods name possessed you to do that???
'The Incredible Mickey'

Sir Arthur Daley

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

what in gods name possessed you to do that???
'The Incredible Mickey'

His friends were green with envy!

Mr. CooL ICE

Tons of stuff when cooking. Aside from the usual slicing my thumb open to almost the bone, I've rubbed my eye while chopping chillies only to panic and think I was going blind.

I was doing some maintenance on a guitar and was holding it upright on my bed when it slipped and started falling over towards my monitor. Because my hands were kinda stuck in some wiring, I tried to stop it from falling using my face. Gave myself a black eye.

One night while slightly intoxicated, I was feeling some nausea. I thought it would be a good idea to hop up on a nearby wall and wait for it to pass. Ended up fainting and falling backwards off the wall and landed on my head on conrete and broken glass.

Sam Kade

I started a thread and wrote stupidest in the title :rolleyes:

maryfred

Cut my hair with a kitchen scissors when i was 13,think Ann Hathaway in Les Mis.Not a good look,haven't a notion why I did it.

managed to trap myself in my own attic by dropping a huge box down the hole, only for it to get stuck half way thanks to the ladder and the wall!

middle of winter, freezing up there, no phone, no one at home.
took me over an hour to eventually get out.
after i cried for half an hour!

climbed up on the kitchen counter one day to reach the top of the press, when i jumped down, my top got caught in the door handle, door flew open, hit me a right wallop into the middle of my face and knocked myself clean out!
lying on kitchen floor with the dog staring at me for i dont know how long!

reckon im eventually going to die in some strange household accident and wont be found for days!

Sir Arthur Daley

bubblypop wrote: »

reckon im eventually going to die in some strange household accident and wont be found for days!

You need one of those panic button alarm like my aunt has i reckon.

GenieOz

Sam Kade wrote: »

I started a thread and wrote stupidest in the title :rolleyes:

You're one of those people who thinks it isn't a word then?

The Backwards Man

Wouldn't even know where to start.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Wouldn't even know where to start.

The beginning?

Tasden

bubblypop wrote: »

Climbed up on the kitchen counter one day to reach the top of the press, when i jumped down, my top got caught in the door handle, door flew open, hit me a right wallop into the middle of my face and knocked myself clean out!
lying on kitchen floor with the dog staring at me for i dont know how long!

reckon im eventually going to die in some strange household accident and wont be found for days!

Similar thing happened to me, was feeling faint but it happens a lot when I stand up too fast due to low blood pressure so I didn't think anything of it, stood on a chair to reach the top shelf of the press and when I looked up my vision just went and I fainted, I just remember waking up on the floor as my mam walked in saying "get up off the floor will ya", no concern whatsoever :pac:

obplayer

As a 14 year old kid I was given a chemistry set, it included magnesium strips. I tried to light one with matches, a lighter, even lit a candle so I could keep it in the flame longer. No go, what now? I was sitting in front of a two bar electric fire holding the magnesium strip with metal pliers. Strip to bar, big bang, fortunately the fuses blew before I did and the only effect was it was now a one bar electric fire.

Kovu

Jumped off one of our sheds with a golf umbrella thinking that I would float like Mary Poppins.

Taking a 3yr old 17.3hh horse onto a road with traffic and he bolted. Could have killed myself with that one if there was oncoming traffic.

Checking out a lad in a club as I walked past him, glanced back over my shoulder at him and he was doing the same. Love sparked between us for a second.....then I fell down the steps I had been walking towards. Nice black eye right there.

mfergus

While trying to shoot staples out of a paper stapler, put my finger over the hole...

poundapunnet

Put my finger into one of those hand-held blender things, sure no need to plug it out, there's no way I'd be so stupid as to push the button with my finger in there...

Dropped a 10l catering bucket of mayonnaise on my thumb.

Drank enough that when I was heading to bed and my friend texted me to see if I was around town I thought 'sure I'll just go out in my pyjamas, be grand'. It wasn't grand.

Oh and going straight from getting a tongue piercing for a pint and a fag 'because it's a really nice day and it'd be stupid not to'.

Galwayguy35

Climbing over an electric fence, not a good idea when you're not the tallest of men and the fence is attached to the mains.