What do you think of wedding's abroad?

15-03-2014 09:48PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

True. He hasn't actually responded to the email yet though. Now I'm worried.

He's planning his wedding. He's busy

Legs.Eleven · 15-03-2014 09:49PM

Candie wrote: »

He's planning his wedding. He's busy

Ah you're right! Just had a touch of the paras there for a moment.

15-03-2014 09:50PM

Muise... wrote: »

OT, but I'm curious - how is it that a wedding meal costs 50 euro per head when the economics of buying & preparing food mean that it's cheaper per unit to make more meals than fewer?

I think most wedding venues charge more than that per head too. For mass catering like that, it's insanely expensive. I suppose the rental of the rooms are factored into the per head price?

I've never had a memorable meal at a wedding.

15-03-2014 09:50PM

Cienciano wrote: »

Because when you add the word "wedding" to something, the price triples.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gimiDBAK2wA

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 10:46AM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Some people really love the idea of getting married in a lovely sunny place abroad, so they should do it if they have the means. Anyone I know who has done it or hopes to do it, has not expected anyone to go, apart from very close family. Even close friends aren't expected to attend (but tend to want to). In the case of couples I know, their preference is to have a small wedding anyway; it's kinda part of why they are having it/had it abroad.

I know one couple who wanted to go abroad and just have their parents/siblings present, but other family members kicked up a stink over it so they had their wedding at home, but still kept it as small as possible.

If other family members planned their weddings to fit in with OTHER PEOPLE rather then what suits them - then that's their business.

I don't think they then have the right to start bitching about the fact that another couple planned a wedding that created the type of day/event the COUPLE were looking for.

Its a bit like someone buying a nice sensible Avensis on "cost efficiency" but then bitching because next door bought a second hand V8 Lexus for 4 grand rather then the Avensis the moaners bought for 27,000 euros

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 11:03AM

Muise... wrote: »

Guests will have to spend money on your present, drinks, transport, possibly babysitters and clothes and accomodation. Why make it more expensive for all of them just so you can recoup the cost from some of them?

Fair point

I however have a counterargument to that

Whose special day is it - the COUPLES or the Guests???

I do agree that couples do need to be mindful of the expense they are putting on guests.

However - is it acceptable to plan a day that's convenient for guests - but ISN'T what the couple wanted.

Yes you do need to compromise - to fit in with whats reasonable for guests.

But (imo) it would be better for a Couple to plan a day that's special for them - even if that means less guests can be accommodated - and some people may not want to go.

I think a small wedding abroad - with just a few people very important to bride and groom - and well planned - has much to comment it.

Personally - id much prefer attend one of those as a guest then the typical Irish type wedding.

Give plenty of notice - try to keep costs reasonable for those attending - and make it clear that you realise the travel/costs may be a pain for some.

Can't see the problem tbh.

Maybe its me been cynical but I suspect people who moan about the hassle of a wedding in Rome - would suddenly find a way around the hassle if the bride and groom were paying for it all.

16-03-2014 12:53PM

Old diesel wrote: »

Maybe its me been cynical but I suspect people who moan about the hassle of a wedding in Rome - would suddenly find a way around the hassle if the bride and groom were paying for it all.

Well of course they would, if it was money preventing them from going. Whoever suggested otherwise?

The financial burden of a wedding abroad would be the deciding factor for most guests. To imply otherwise is disingenuous.

16-03-2014 12:57PM

Old diesel wrote: »

Can't see the problem tbh.

The problem is the b&g apparently nagging some people who said they can't afford to go, or being annoyed at people because their presents aren't as much as they would have been back home

Lucyfur · 16-03-2014 01:08PM

We got married abroad. We invited a small amount of people, sourced affordable accommodation, asked for no gifts. We were delighted that most people could come but it was no biggie if they couldn't. Dress code was very much wear what you want. We didn't care if people showed up in full tuxedo or shorts and tshirts. We had a free bar for the whole day and a party the next day, so that kept the cost down for the guests. We paid for the two mammies. It was an awesome and super relaxed day that didn't cost the earth

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 01:49PM

bluewolf wrote: »

The problem is the b&g apparently nagging some people who said they can't afford to go, or being annoyed at people because their presents aren't as much as they would have been back home

My thinking when I said that was more around the foreign wedding concept itself.

The scenario you put forward is far more to do with individual brides and grooms - then the actual idea of a foreign wedding.

Imo a REASONABLE bride and groom should accept that guests won't be able to go because of cost, or work and family commitements - and that thus those guests (or any guests) not going - is nothing personal.

I think part of the issue possibly is that some couples take not going to their wedding when invited as a personal insult - which imo is just silly.

My attitude is that if bride and groom were the type to get insulted because you couldn't go - then that's their tough luck and they have to deal with that.

Its not the guests problem at all - and shouldn't be.

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 01:52PM

Lucyfur wrote: »

We got married abroad. We invited a small amount of people, sourced affordable accommodation, asked for no gifts. We were delighted that most people could come but it was no biggie if they couldn't. Dress code was very much wear what you want. We didn't care if people showed up in full tuxedo or shorts and tshirts. We had a free bar for the whole day and a party the next day, so that kept the cost down for the guests. We paid for the two mammies. It was an awesome and super relaxed day that didn't cost the earth

Nice one - sounds like you had a great time

Continued best wishes to you and your OH

ronjo · 16-03-2014 03:31PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Ah you're right! Just had a touch of the paras there for a moment.

Why don't you give him a call? I am sure he would appreciate it more.

Ann Landers · 16-03-2014 09:05PM

Candie wrote: »

I've never had a memorable meal at a wedding.

I actually did a few months back for thr first time ever. The beef was amazing, a little lump of tender, perfectly pink roast beef. Gorgeous. Serious money thrown at the wedding though. Felt a bit bad that my BF and I could only afford to give them E100 between us.

Femme_Fatale · 16-03-2014 09:10PM

Old diesel wrote: »

If other family members planned their weddings to fit in with OTHER PEOPLE rather then what suits them - then that's their business.

I don't think they then have the right to start bitching about the fact that another couple planned a wedding that created the type of day/event the COUPLE were looking for.

Its a bit like someone buying a nice sensible Avensis on "cost efficiency" but then bitching because next door bought a second hand V8 Lexus for 4 grand rather then the Avensis the moaners bought for 27,000 euros

Not sure how you read what I said, but in the case of the couple I'm talking about, other family members of theirs were giving them grief for planning a wedding abroad - due to the hassle and expense for those other family members I guess. So to keep the peace, the couple had their wedding in Ireland, but still kept it immediate family only.

Gael23 · 16-03-2014 09:35PM

I think it's a lot of expense to force on your guests. Added to the cost of a gift and outfits and so on you then have to cover the cost of your trip. We were invited to the wedding of a fairly close family member in spain a few years back and the trip cost €3000 for the week, that's before spending money, clothes for 4 of us and a gift.

Ann Landers · 16-03-2014 09:35PM

Old diesel wrote: »

Maybe its me been cynical but I suspect people who moan about the hassle of a wedding in Rome - would suddenly find a way around the hassle if the bride and groom were paying for it all.

Well, yeah, it'd be a huge part of it as expense is one of the main issues. Though the issues of days off work and it being the only holiday some can afford that year would still remain.

HairyArse · 16-03-2014 09:36PM

I saw a video of a couple getting married abroad on youtube. It was only afterwards that it was discovered that the cleric who married them and didn't speak English was actually effing and blinding them and generally having a laugh at their expense.

Lucyfur · 16-03-2014 09:42PM

ryanf1 wrote: »

I think it's a lot of expense to force on your guests. Added to the cost of a gift and outfits and so on you then have to cover the cost of your trip. We were invited to the wedding of a fairly close family member in spain a few years back and the trip cost €3000 for the week, that's before spending money, clothes for 4 of us and a gift.

3k??!!! That's more than we spent on flights and accommodation in a 4star hotel for a suite with an adjoining room for 2 weeks.

Red Pepper · 16-03-2014 10:30PM

Candie wrote: »

I've never had a memorable meal at a wedding.

Yes wedding food is just average carvery. Worse again if its a big wedding (150+). You cant blame the chefs though, its just impossible to cook high quality food for big numbers at one time.

It's rare enough to have a memorable wedding never mind memorable food. All my wedding memories are a mash-up of one long largely boring day.

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 11:11PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Not sure how you read what I said, but in the case of the couple I'm talking about, other family members of theirs were giving them grief for planning a wedding abroad - due to the hassle and expense for those other family members I guess. So to keep the peace, the couple had their wedding in Ireland, but still kept it immediate family only.

My apologies - I read your post wrong

Femme_Fatale · 16-03-2014 11:14PM

Old diesel wrote: »

My apologies - I read your post wrong

Ah jeez no worries!

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 11:26PM

ryanf1 wrote: »

I think it's a lot of expense to force on your guests. Added to the cost of a gift and outfits and so on you then have to cover the cost of your trip. We were invited to the wedding of a fairly close family member in spain a few years back and the trip cost €3000 for the week, that's before spending money, clothes for 4 of us and a gift.

That's a ridiculous level of expense to be sure

Sir Arthur Daley · 16-03-2014 11:31PM

Old diesel wrote: »

That's a ridiculous level of expense to be sure

But it is the reality of it though.

Cienciano · 16-03-2014 11:38PM

bluewolf wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gimiDBAK2wA

Wedding cakes are the worst for markups. Actually, just icing the cake is mental price. We had our cake made (family recipe) ourselves, but just wanted it iced. 3 layers we were quoted between €250-300 in dublin! Just for plain icing

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 11:46PM

Bit im having difficulty is - the going for a week bit - assuming 3 k is a normal figure - id expect a lot of it is coming been there for a week.

Easy enough to see the money adding up on an Irish wedding too if going to other end of country - but big difference is - Irish wedding - your only gone a night or 2.

Is it not possible - to fly in and back home in 2/3 days - or are people going to real out of the way places with no daily flights in and out????

Question that's bugging me though - is okay - fair enough people are put out over the expense of a foreign wedding and the hassle - fair enough - if 3 k is a typical figure then its understandable.

But if a couple getting married have their own ideas for THEIR special day - how much compromise is reasonable - to meet what might be considered reasonable for guests in terms of expenses.

Sir Arthur Daley · 16-03-2014 11:48PM

Old diesel wrote: »

how much compromise is reasonable - to meet what might be considered reasonable for guests in terms of expenses.

Get married in Cavan?

Old diesel · 16-03-2014 11:55PM

WikiHow wrote: »

Get married in Cavan?

Ah here now - I said reasonable

Ann Landers · 17-03-2014 12:01AM

Old diesel wrote: »

Bit im having difficulty is - the going for a week bit - assuming 3 k is a normal figure - id expect a lot of it is coming been there for a week.

Easy enough to see the money adding up on an Irish wedding too if going to other end of country - but big difference is - Irish wedding - your only gone a night or 2.

Is it not possible - to fly in and back home in 2/3 days - or are people going to real out of the way places with no daily flights in and out????

Question that's bugging me though - is okay - fair enough people are put out over the expense of a foreign wedding and the hassle - fair enough - if 3 k is a typical figure then its understandable.

But if a couple getting married have their own ideas for THEIR special day - how much compromise is reasonable - to meet what might be considered reasonable for guests in terms of expenses.

I got the impression that the 3k was for the entire family, not just one person.

Old diesel · 17-03-2014 12:08AM

Ann Landers wrote: »

I got the impression that the 3k was for the entire family, not just one person.

It is - well it was 3 k for 4 people - still hefty though at 750 per person - and that didn't include outfits and spending money apparently - or outfits.

Sir Arthur Daley · 17-03-2014 01:35AM

Old diesel wrote: »

It is - well it was 3 k for 4 people - still hefty though at 750 per person - and that didn't include outfits and spending money apparently - or outfits.

To be fair about it a hotel peak season plus flights would drop you €500 upwards plus taxis, parking at airport, fuel. You are dipping into your pocket the whole time, there is no lasting in the euro.

What do you think of wedding's abroad?

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