What do you think of wedding's abroad?

Muise... · 15-03-2014 03:13PM

CJC999 wrote: »

I got married in Spain in 2008. We let people know 12 months in advance. We invited approx100 guests and 68 of them came to our wedding. We had a fantastic time and everyone stayed for a week so we met up in big groups every night before/after the wedding. I'd do it again if I was in that position. As for cost, it was considerably cheaper than getting married at home. We paid for absolutely everything, flights, accommodation, photographer, wedding venue, free bar for the entire day, wedding cake, car hire, bus hire for guests to/from airport and to/from wedding venue on the day, wedding car, suit hire, wedding planner and both our parents flights out there etc for less than what the meal here would have cost here in Ireland on it's own and we didn't skimp on anything.

Look how loaded you are!

J_E · 15-03-2014 03:14PM

Old diesel wrote: »

In general - id feel positive about the idea
A couple want to get married in a certain location - that should be their choice.
I do think though that reasonable planning in terms of location should come into play - would be handy for example for some guests if they (Guests) could do something like this.
(Wedding in Rome for example)
Day 1 - fly out from Dublin Airport
Day 2 - Wedding in Rome
Day 3 Guest returns home
So youv left Friday - and are home on Sunday ready for work Monday morning - but had a nice city break in Rome

Beats some boring wedding in some overated Irish hotel imo - where guests will often still have to pay accommodation etc - if away from home

What happens if you couldn't really afford a break Rome that week though? There's this sort of expectation for you to turn up. It's a nasty little societal obligation rather than a relaxing city break of doing what you want to do.

I can't be bothered with 'big' weddings. Feels like a game of Keeping Up With The Joneses or prince/ss for a day, loses the core meaning of the day altogether. It's the same with every one of these ceremonies though, baptisms, communions, funerals, funny how they all have roots as a humble religous ceremony yet are usually narcissistic blow-outs! Just to clarify on that point though, think a wedding with close friends is fine, it's just this ridiculous 'invite 200/300 people you don't actually know and pay for their evening' thing that bothers me to no end.

oppenheimer1 · 15-03-2014 03:17PM

Old diesel wrote: »

In general - id feel positive about the idea

A couple want to get married in a certain location - that should be their choice.

I do think though that reasonable planning in terms of location should come into play - would be handy for example for some guests if they (Guests) could do something like this.

(Wedding in Rome for example)

Day 1 - fly out from Dublin Airport

Day 2 - Wedding in Rome

Day 3 Guest returns home

So youv left Friday - and are home on Sunday ready for work Monday morning - but had a nice city break in Rome

Beats some boring wedding in some overated Irish hotel imo - where guests will often still have to pay accommodation etc - if away from home

If you were planning a city break to Rome would your only full day there be spent in one church and one hotel?

If the answer is no then a wedding is not a nice city break.

Cyrus · 15-03-2014 03:19PM

We had our wedding abroad it didn't cost is any less but it was much more unusual and enjoyable than any Irish wedding I was at, we invited 90 people expecting 40 or so to come, we had 86 (mostly our friends from school , college, work ) and everyone still talks about the fun they had

Like others have said we totally understood it wouldn't suit everyone and had no issue with anyone who couldn't make it, but it was a brilliant week and I'd do the same again

oppenheimer1 · 15-03-2014 03:27PM

Cyrus wrote: »

We had our wedding abroad it didn't cost is any less but it was much more unusual and enjoyable than any Irish wedding I was at, we invited 90 people expecting 40 or so to come, we had 86 (mostly our friends from school , college, work ) and everyone still talks about the fun they had

Like others have said we totally understood it wouldn't suit everyone and had no issue with anyone who couldn't make it, but it was a brilliant week and I'd do the same again

Of course you enjoyed it more than any other wedding you were at, that's because it was your own wedding!

freshpopcorn · 15-03-2014 03:28PM

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

Are you really saying return flights and accommodation to Spain cost less than the price of a meal here? What were you planning on feeding them here? Trays of caviar?

I think they just payed for the bus hire for the guest's, not the flights

homerjay2005 · 15-03-2014 03:28PM

hfallada wrote: »

Maybe if Irish people didn't feel the need to invite everyone including their third cousins to a wedding. They could afford to have it in Ireland. I can't understand the logic of 300/400 guests at a wedding. Only invite the people you care about and **** what everyone else thinks

not necessarily true.

if you want to bring money into this, in theory a wedding will cost X amount regardless of how many are there - photographer, band, DJ, cars flowers, dress/suits, etc etc and a set number of meals.

lets say meal is €50 a head and you have set costs as outlined above costing €6000. invite 150 people and its €7,500 plus €6000 so €13,500 or €90 a head as such.

invite 300 people and total cost becomes €21,000 and €70 a head. now....any wedding ive ever been to i give min €75 per person. its not about money of course , but to say more people costs you more, is not necessarily true when its outlined as above.

in fact, i know people who have actually made money from their weddings and factor in the fact that some parents give a decent chunk of money towards it, then its even less of a cost than people think. a wedding that somebody spends €20k on, doesnt cost them 20k in the long run.

J_E · 15-03-2014 03:35PM

Spending €20k on a wedding is unfathomable to me...You could go on a cruise around the world, surely more memorable?

homerjay2005 · 15-03-2014 03:38PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

Spending €20k on a wedding is unfathomable to me...You could go on a cruise around the world, surely more memorable?

you obviously didnt read my post above did you? spending €20k on a wedding means you probably will end up getting back most of that 20k back.

of course some people have weddings in top class hotels which charge €80-€100 per head but then these people want their day out also. its normally, about what people can afford.

likewise,spending 20k on a cruise isnt what some people want, the wedding day is their dream way of spending the money. others would spend it on hookers and cocaine, others would but a car.

all about what people want really and i think its unfair of people to slag off people who want a big wedding.

Muise... · 15-03-2014 03:42PM

homerjay2005 wrote: »

you obviously didnt read my post above did you? spending €20k on a wedding means you probably will end up getting back most of that 20k back.

of course some people have weddings in top class hotels which charge €80-€100 per head but then these people want their day out also. its normally, about what people can afford.

Your guests won't get anything back. Your wedding might be about what you can afford, but your guests may not be able to afford it.

Cienciano · 15-03-2014 04:00PM

I've no problems with it. Just don't go if you can't afford to, simple. I had 2 close mates get married in the last 2 years abroad and I didn't go because it was too expensive. But it's their choice to get married wherever they like, so be it.

Cyrus · 15-03-2014 04:34PM

Cienciano wrote: »

I've no problems with it. Just don't go if you can't afford to, simple. I had 2 close mates get married in the last 2 years abroad and I didn't go because it was too expensive. But it's their choice to get married wherever they like, so be it.

Exactly!

Holsten · 15-03-2014 04:36PM

The same thing I think about weddings here.

Outdated needless waste of money.

MistyCheese · 15-03-2014 05:54PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

Spending €20k on a wedding is unfathomable to me...You could go on a cruise around the world, surely more memorable?

Only if you sieze the other passengers and compell them to fawn over you on your special fairy princess daaaaay!

Also give you money.

homerjay2005 · 15-03-2014 06:11PM

Muise... wrote: »

Your guests won't get anything back. Your wedding might be about what you can afford, but your guests may not be able to afford it.

there is no pressure on any guests to give big money, people normally give what they can afford.

a meal in a 5 start hotel for two people and wine can normally cost about €100 anyway, wedding or not.

Muise... · 15-03-2014 06:39PM

homerjay2005 wrote: »

there is no pressure on any guests to give big money, people normally give what they can afford.

a meal in a 5 start hotel for two people and wine can normally cost about €100 anyway, wedding or not.

Guests will have to spend money on your present, drinks, transport, possibly babysitters and clothes and accomodation. Why make it more expensive for all of them just so you can recoup the cost from some of them?

Mars Bar · 15-03-2014 07:03PM

I'm going to a wedding in Benalmadena in August. No ifs or buts about going because it's two of my best friends getting married.

I'm looking forward to it!

Thankfully, sense prevailed and the hen night is not going to be an overnight all-weekender thing because they're aware of the cost.

Sir Arthur Daley · 15-03-2014 08:03PM

One is nearly guaranteed good warm weather which makes the day really, hate being frozen in a suit in the church and with all the lounging around after the sermony.

Femme_Fatale · 15-03-2014 08:05PM

Some people really love the idea of getting married in a lovely sunny place abroad, so they should do it if they have the means. Anyone I know who has done it or hopes to do it, has not expected anyone to go, apart from very close family. Even close friends aren't expected to attend (but tend to want to). In the case of couples I know, their preference is to have a small wedding anyway; it's kinda part of why they are having it/had it abroad.

I know one couple who wanted to go abroad and just have their parents/siblings present, but other family members kicked up a stink over it so they had their wedding at home, but still kept it as small as possible.

Legs.Eleven · 15-03-2014 08:34PM

My first cousin is getting married in the Canary Islands this year and he invited myself and my boyfriend. Although it's close-ish to where I live, he's getting married on a weekday and I'm not entitled to any holidays. I'm also saving for the Summer when I don't get paid and for a university course starting September and my boyfriend is unemployed and not receiving the dole. I told him I couldn't go and explained why and I'm presuming he'll understand. I presume most people would understand if you couldn't go?

MF2HD · 15-03-2014 08:47PM

A wedding abroad is great so long as everyone involved remembers it's a wedding invitation that's sent out not a wedding summons.

Muise... · 15-03-2014 09:06PM

MF2HD wrote: »

A wedding abroad is great so long as everyone involved remembers it's a wedding invitation that's sent out not a wedding summons.

Some people call it a wedding invoice. :pac:

15-03-2014 09:34PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

My first cousin is getting married in the Canary Islands this year and he invited myself and my boyfriend. Although it's close-ish to where I live, he's getting married on a weekday and I'm not entitled to any holidays. I'm also saving for the Summer when I don't get paid and for a university course starting September and my boyfriend is unemployed and not receiving the dole. I told him I couldn't go and explained why and I'm presuming he'll understand. I presume most people would understand if you couldn't go?

If he's not able to understand you can't go with all those factors involved, he'd be a very unreasonable person. He'd have to be heartless to hold it against you.

Birroc · 15-03-2014 09:36PM

Holsten wrote: »

The same thing I think about weddings here.

Outdated needless waste of money.

Weddings are worse abroad if that's possible.

Legs.Eleven · 15-03-2014 09:37PM

Candie wrote: »

If he's not able to understand you can't go with all those factors involved, he'd be a very unreasonable person. He'd have to be heartless to hold it against you.

I'm sure he won't as he's a lovely, decent fella. Do I have to give an excuse at all though? What if I just said I couldn't make it? Is that enough of a reason for most people I wonder? I could've just sent the RSVP off with a decline and left it at that. I felt a bit pathetic writing all that in an email as it seemed a bit unnecessary.

15-03-2014 09:38PM

homerjay2005 wrote: »

a meal in a 5 start hotel for two people and wine can normally cost about €100 anyway, wedding or not.

If you're going for a meal in a 5 star hotel, you'll be ordering off menu and having it made specifically to your tastes. It's not going to be mass catered and kept under a warmer til it's time to hand it out.

Wedding catering is, without exception and almost by definition, bland. Some is worse than others, but none of it equals a la carte in a decent restaurant.

15-03-2014 09:41PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I'm sure he won't as he's a lovely, decent fella. Do I have to give an excuse at all though? What if I just said I couldn't make it? Is that enough of a reason for most people I wonder? I could've just sent the RSVP off with a decline and left it at that. I felt a bit pathetic writing all that in an email as it seemed a bit unnecessary.

You could just say that a number of circumstances have conspired to make attending impossible

He's your cousin, he's just going to miss you being there and I'm sure he appreciated the personal note of explanation.

Muise... · 15-03-2014 09:42PM

Candie wrote: »

If you're going for a meal in a 5 star hotel, you'll be ordering off menu and having it made specifically to your tastes. It's not going to be mass catered and kept under a warmer til it's time to hand it out.

Wedding catering is, without exception and almost by definition, bland. Some is worse than others, but none of it equals a la carte in a decent restaurant.

OT, but I'm curious - how is it that a wedding meal costs 50 euro per head when the economics of buying & preparing food mean that it's cheaper per unit to make more meals than fewer?

Cienciano · 15-03-2014 09:44PM

Muise... wrote: »

OT, but I'm curious - how is it that a wedding meal costs 50 euro per head when the economics of buying & preparing food mean that it's cheaper per unit to make more meals than fewer?

Because when you add the word "wedding" to something, the price triples.

Legs.Eleven · 15-03-2014 09:47PM

Candie wrote: »

You could just say that a number of circumstances have conspired to make attending impossible

He's your cousin, he's just going to miss you being there and I'm sure he appreciated the personal note of explanation.

True. He hasn't actually responded to the email yet though. Now I'm worried.

What do you think of wedding's abroad?

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