What do you think of wedding's abroad?

freshpopcorn

You'd often hear of people saying that their getting married in Malta/some small little island that's lovely.
Then you hear about how its brilliant value out their and its only costing us about a third of what it would be at home.
Then some couples try and sell the idea of it by telling them they get a holiday out if it/its so cheap to get over and stay there.
I know of one couple who got really upset that there guests couldn't make it because of the cost/getting enough time of work. They were going around saying that they people who couldn't go were on after a free meal and not real friend/ they had enough time to save up.
What your opinion on wedding's abroad?

Mint Sauce

As a guest, its a chance to see somewhere or do something different, or go to a country you may not have considered before.

kneemos

I'd rather marry abroad than a bloke.

The Backwards Man

My brother got married in Sao Paolo. Rang my Dad the night before and said he was getting married the next day. I didn't have to give a present or buy a suit or make a speech or anything.

That's the way weddings should be.

KCC

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You'd often hear of people saying that their getting married in Malta/some small little island that's lovely.
Then you hear about how its brilliant value out their and its only costing us about a third of what it would be at home.
Then some couples try and sell the idea of it by telling them they get a holiday out if it/its so cheap to get over and stay there.
I know of one couple who got really upset that there guests couldn't make it because of the cost/getting enough time of work. They were going around saying that they people who couldn't go were on after a free meal and not real friend/ they had enough time to save up.
What your opinion on wedding's abroad?

I got married abroad but didn't invite anyone (figured it was about us and no-one else) and we had a party once we got home to keep everyone happy.

I was a guest at a wedding abroad and it was fantastic! So different and such fun. No-one knew what to expect which added to the whole thing. The couple had something planned for everyone most nights and we were there for a week. I'd imagine that the bonus for them was that the people who made the effort to travel were the ones that really wanted to be there. I don't think they minded about the people who didn't/couldn't go.

shruikan2553

It saves them money but it costs people a lot more. Doesnt matter how long they have to save, I just dont want to spend 100s for something that will be nearly identical to what I can attend here. If I was having a wedding abroad it would be small and then have a party in Ireland for those who couldnt make it.

Santa Cruz

The Backwards Man wrote: »

My brother got married in Sao Paolo. Rang my Dad the night before and said he was getting married the next day. I didn't have to give a present or buy a suit or make a speech or anything.

That's the way weddings should be.

Sao Paolo is nice and there is a greater choice of transsexuals willing to get married.

eviltwin

I'm going to an overseas wedding later this year. Its saving the couple a lot of money so I can understand why they are doing it. Yeah its more expense for myself and the other guests but I wouldn't accept an invite if it was too much expense or hassle to go.

polydactyl

Dread those invites. Weddings are expensive enough but I enjoy them in the spirit they are intended. However the extra expense for flights and extended hotel stays in places I never wanted to see usually on top of the usual expenses incurred means I have yet to accept one. Just can't afford it.

hfallada

Maybe if Irish people didn't feel the need to invite everyone including their third cousins to a wedding. They could afford to have it in Ireland. I can't understand the logic of 300/400 guests at a wedding. Only invite the people you care about and **** what everyone else thinks

Stavros Murphy

They're overdone, same as threads on them.

Agricola

They're great, cos it gives people a good excuse for not going.

BillyMitchel

Have been at two weddings abroad and probably my two favourite. The added holiday of about 80 friends was an added bonus and the hotels really push the boat out. Free drink all night too, I think.

Contessa Raven

Went to a wedding in Vegas in November. Best wedding I was ever at! 30 guests. In and out of the ceremony in 20ish minutes (lovely ceremony, the minister made it really personal) and then to a lovely Italian restaurant and the party was in an Irish bar in New York, New York. Perfect!

I'm getting married next year and we're thinking of having it abroad. Ideally it would just be the two of us but the parents want to be there so we're having a small number of guests. If people don't want to come, that's grand. There'll be a massive party when we get back. It's about us so I'm not going to worry about others.

Wompa1

Contessa Raven wrote: »

Went to a wedding in Vegas in November. Best wedding I was ever at! 30 guests. In and out of the ceremony in 20ish minutes (lovely ceremony, the minister made it really personal) and then to a lovely Italian restaurant and the party was in an Irish bar in New York, New York. Perfect!

I'm getting married next year and we're thinking of having it abroad. Ideally it would just be the two of us but the parents want to be there so we're having a small number of guests. If people don't want to come, that's grand. There'll be a massive party when we get back. It's about us so I'm not going to worry about others.

Is that the Irish bar with the little Leprachaun on the bar serving shots?

Toots

I think if a couple really wants to get married abroad then they should do it, however they need to be aware that they're heaping a lot of expense on to their guests. With that in mind, they should be understanding that a lot of guests won't be able to go. Also, I had gotten married abroad I'd have told the guests that they were absolutely not to give gifts.

I hate when people trot out the line "ah sure with the cheap flights, and lower eating out costs etc it's cheaper than going to a wedding here!" Anyone who says that attending a wedding abroad costs the same/less as attending a wedding in Ireland is either delusional or talking out of their arse. I don't care how cheap the flights are, or how well priced the hotel is, when you add all the other associated expenses on it works out a lot dearer than going to a wedding here.

A certain bridezilla whose wedding I was at in *a Mediterranean country* spent the couple of days after bitching about what little gifts they got! She seemed genuinely astounded that the fact that the cost of attending would have affected how much people could afford to give as a gift! The wedding was in August so as regards peak season, it was literally the most expensive in week in the year to go there.

The place didn't have commercial flights to their airport so you had to book a package and go on a chartered flight. It cost myself and the hubby over a grand to go for the week and that was literally just flights and accommodation - between food and transport and the various 'outings' we were expected to attend it came to a lot more. The highlight was when the hotel where the reception was being held ran out of drink at about 10pm. :rolleyes: Unfortunately it was an immediate family member so we were under a lot of pressure to go. Luckily that was at a time when were both gainfully employed, so while things were tight for a few months before, we were able to save enough to go. That being said, over the years I've been to several other 'foreign' weddings and they've all been great, basically because the bride and groom were so relaxed about things, threw a great party and genuinely appreciated having people there.

FreshKnickers

Grand. As long as the couple don't expect people to go.

Contessa Raven

Wompa1 wrote: »

Is that the Irish bar with the little Leprachaun on the bar serving shots?

I don't think so. Could have been. It was a bar called The Nine Fine Irishmen. I didn't see any dwarves serving shots.

sillysocks

I got married abroad a few years ago, and it's quite frustrating when everyone assumes we did it to save ourselves money. The wedding cost us as much as it would have here, although probably the menu we were able to have and free bar etc wouldn't have been possible due to cost in Ireland but we would have just had a more 'standard' irish wedding for the same as we spent.

At the time we knew the majority of our family and friends were in a position to afford it and we were very careful not to pressure anyone into going.

I think how the wedding is organised makes a big difference to the hassle and cost involved for guests. We tried to pick a date that meant people would need as little time off as possible, there was a lot of flight options to the airport and accommodation from hostels to 5*. Now I'm not stupid and know it was still more expense and hassle for people than a wedding here but I think everyone that did make it had a great time and were glad they'd made the journey.

Chet T16

We got married in the grand canyon/vegas and didn't invite anyone except my wifes best friend and husband and that was just as they were going to be in vegas at the time. My brother got married in Chicago a few months later and invited loads of people and I know my parents didn't enjoy the travelling and getting landed with grandkids while there but they couldn't really say no to going.

anncoates

It's great if you are able to pay for it and have the spare time and babysitters but a pain if you don't.

We're going to one this summer and looking forward to it but the logistics are a pain, getting babysitters 3 days and time off etc.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I got married in Spain in 2008. We let people know 12 months in advance. We invited approx100 guests and 68 of them came to our wedding. We had a fantastic time and everyone stayed for a week so we met up in big groups every night before/after the wedding. I'd do it again if I was in that position. As for cost, it was considerably cheaper than getting married at home. We paid for absolutely everything, flights, accommodation, photographer, wedding venue, free bar for the entire day, wedding cake, car hire, bus hire for guests to/from airport and to/from wedding venue on the day, wedding car, suit hire, wedding planner and both our parents flights out there etc for less than what the meal here would have cost here in Ireland on it's own and we didn't skimp on anything.

SeaFields

Went to the buddy's wedding a few years ago in Malta. It was one of the nicest weddings I was ever at and I'm at the age where it seems we have a wedding every month.

All the old gang of friends were there and it was like the lads holidays we used go on years ago, expect we all had girlfriends/ wives to give out to us for acting like ejets in the pool and it was amazing how fast a bunch of late 20s/ early 30s lads can revert to being children again

It didnt cost much as we would go away for a week in the summer anyway so just treated it like a normal holiday albeit we had a wedding to go to in the middle of it. 5 star hotel was subsidised so it didnt cost any more than a package holiday.

Guy:Incognito

eviltwin wrote: »

Its saving the couple a lot of money so I can understand why they are doing it. .

Presumably theres less people at it than if they got married here? How much would they save by only having the same amount of people at a wedding here?

Hilly Bill

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Have been at two weddings abroad and probably my two favourite. The added holiday of about 80 friends was an added bonus and the hotels really push the boat out. Free drink all night too, I think.

Its called an All Inclusive hotel

Old diesel

In general - id feel positive about the idea

A couple want to get married in a certain location - that should be their choice.

I do think though that reasonable planning in terms of location should come into play - would be handy for example for some guests if they (Guests) could do something like this.

(Wedding in Rome for example)

Day 1 - fly out from Dublin Airport

Day 2 - Wedding in Rome

Day 3 Guest returns home

So youv left Friday - and are home on Sunday ready for work Monday morning - but had a nice city break in Rome

Beats some boring wedding in some overated Irish hotel imo - where guests will often still have to pay accommodation etc - if away from home

oppenheimer1

CJC999 wrote: »

I got married in Spain in 2008. We let people know 12 months in advance. We invited approx100 guests and 68 of them came to our wedding. We had a fantastic time and everyone stayed for a week so we met up in big groups every night before/after the wedding. I'd do it again if I was in that position. As for cost, it was considerably cheaper than getting married at home. We paid for absolutely everything, flights, accommodation, photographer, wedding venue, free bar for the entire day, wedding cake, car hire, bus hire for guests to/from airport and to/from wedding venue on the day, wedding car, suit hire, wedding planner and both our parents flights out there etc for less than what the meal here would have cost here in Ireland on it's own and we didn't skimp on anything.

Are you really saying return flights and accommodation to Spain cost less than the price of a meal here? What were you planning on feeding them here? Trays of caviar?

Old diesel

Btw - I personally have no problem with the idea of paying for a trip to a foreign wedding.

And would feel VERY bad about the idea of the bride and groom paying for ME and others to have a few days away.

I do agree though that it can be a pain in the backside if going to somewhere that's awkward to get to.

And Brides and Grooms should be reasonable about people not been able to go.

My thinking is - just make such a wedding a small one and just invite parents/close family members - or just make it the couple getting married themselves.

Sorted.

J_E

They're welcome to pay for my flights if they want me to come over!

BillyMitchel

Hilly Bill wrote: »

Its called an All Inclusive hotel

No, it's not, it's part of the wedding package. No one actually stayed at the wedding hotel only on the night and next morning you had to pay for stuff.

_Whimsical_

Old diesel wrote: »

In general - id feel positive about the idea

A couple want to get married in a certain location - that should be their choice.

I do think though that reasonable planning in terms of location should come into play - would be handy for example for some guests if they (Guests) could do something like this.

(Wedding in Rome for example)

Day 1 - fly out from Dublin Airport

Day 2 - Wedding in Rome

Day 3 Guest returns home

So youv left Friday - and are home on Sunday ready for work Monday morning - but had a nice city break in Rome

Beats some boring wedding in some overated Irish hotel imo - where guests will often still have to pay accommodation etc - if away from home

But you don't really have a nice city break in Rome. Instead you end up in a hotel you didn't chose, you get no time for site seeing or doing something that interests you particularly and you sit around eating and drink the same things you would in Ireland with the same people you know from Ireland.
And it costs you considerably more than a city break.

Admittedly it does sound better when you're recounting your weekend for people in work on Monday morning, but otherwise, I wouldn't see the attraction of attending myself.

Muise...

CJC999 wrote: »

I got married in Spain in 2008. We let people know 12 months in advance. We invited approx100 guests and 68 of them came to our wedding. We had a fantastic time and everyone stayed for a week so we met up in big groups every night before/after the wedding. I'd do it again if I was in that position. As for cost, it was considerably cheaper than getting married at home. We paid for absolutely everything, flights, accommodation, photographer, wedding venue, free bar for the entire day, wedding cake, car hire, bus hire for guests to/from airport and to/from wedding venue on the day, wedding car, suit hire, wedding planner and both our parents flights out there etc for less than what the meal here would have cost here in Ireland on it's own and we didn't skimp on anything.

Look how loaded you are!

J_E

Old diesel wrote: »

In general - id feel positive about the idea
A couple want to get married in a certain location - that should be their choice.
I do think though that reasonable planning in terms of location should come into play - would be handy for example for some guests if they (Guests) could do something like this.
(Wedding in Rome for example)
Day 1 - fly out from Dublin Airport
Day 2 - Wedding in Rome
Day 3 Guest returns home
So youv left Friday - and are home on Sunday ready for work Monday morning - but had a nice city break in Rome

Beats some boring wedding in some overated Irish hotel imo - where guests will often still have to pay accommodation etc - if away from home

What happens if you couldn't really afford a break Rome that week though? There's this sort of expectation for you to turn up. It's a nasty little societal obligation rather than a relaxing city break of doing what you want to do.


I can't be bothered with 'big' weddings. Feels like a game of Keeping Up With The Joneses or prince/ss for a day, loses the core meaning of the day altogether. It's the same with every one of these ceremonies though, baptisms, communions, funerals, funny how they all have roots as a humble religous ceremony yet are usually narcissistic blow-outs! Just to clarify on that point though, think a wedding with close friends is fine, it's just this ridiculous 'invite 200/300 people you don't actually know and pay for their evening' thing that bothers me to no end.

oppenheimer1

Old diesel wrote: »

In general - id feel positive about the idea

A couple want to get married in a certain location - that should be their choice.

I do think though that reasonable planning in terms of location should come into play - would be handy for example for some guests if they (Guests) could do something like this.

(Wedding in Rome for example)

Day 1 - fly out from Dublin Airport

Day 2 - Wedding in Rome

Day 3 Guest returns home

So youv left Friday - and are home on Sunday ready for work Monday morning - but had a nice city break in Rome

Beats some boring wedding in some overated Irish hotel imo - where guests will often still have to pay accommodation etc - if away from home

If you were planning a city break to Rome would your only full day there be spent in one church and one hotel?


If the answer is no then a wedding is not a nice city break.

Cyrus

We had our wedding abroad it didn't cost is any less but it was much more unusual and enjoyable than any Irish wedding I was at, we invited 90 people expecting 40 or so to come, we had 86 (mostly our friends from school , college, work ) and everyone still talks about the fun they had

Like others have said we totally understood it wouldn't suit everyone and had no issue with anyone who couldn't make it, but it was a brilliant week and I'd do the same again

oppenheimer1

Cyrus wrote: »

We had our wedding abroad it didn't cost is any less but it was much more unusual and enjoyable than any Irish wedding I was at, we invited 90 people expecting 40 or so to come, we had 86 (mostly our friends from school , college, work ) and everyone still talks about the fun they had

Like others have said we totally understood it wouldn't suit everyone and had no issue with anyone who couldn't make it, but it was a brilliant week and I'd do the same again

Of course you enjoyed it more than any other wedding you were at, that's because it was your own wedding!

freshpopcorn

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

Are you really saying return flights and accommodation to Spain cost less than the price of a meal here? What were you planning on feeding them here? Trays of caviar?

I think they just payed for the bus hire for the guest's, not the flights

homerjay2005

hfallada wrote: »

Maybe if Irish people didn't feel the need to invite everyone including their third cousins to a wedding. They could afford to have it in Ireland. I can't understand the logic of 300/400 guests at a wedding. Only invite the people you care about and **** what everyone else thinks

not necessarily true.

if you want to bring money into this, in theory a wedding will cost X amount regardless of how many are there - photographer, band, DJ, cars flowers, dress/suits, etc etc and a set number of meals.

lets say meal is €50 a head and you have set costs as outlined above costing €6000. invite 150 people and its €7,500 plus €6000 so €13,500 or €90 a head as such.

invite 300 people and total cost becomes €21,000 and €70 a head. now....any wedding ive ever been to i give min €75 per person. its not about money of course , but to say more people costs you more, is not necessarily true when its outlined as above.

in fact, i know people who have actually made money from their weddings and factor in the fact that some parents give a decent chunk of money towards it, then its even less of a cost than people think. a wedding that somebody spends €20k on, doesnt cost them 20k in the long run.

J_E

Spending €20k on a wedding is unfathomable to me...You could go on a cruise around the world, surely more memorable?

homerjay2005

Cydoniac wrote: »

Spending €20k on a wedding is unfathomable to me...You could go on a cruise around the world, surely more memorable?

you obviously didnt read my post above did you? spending €20k on a wedding means you probably will end up getting back most of that 20k back.

of course some people have weddings in top class hotels which charge €80-€100 per head but then these people want their day out also. its normally, about what people can afford.

likewise,spending 20k on a cruise isnt what some people want, the wedding day is their dream way of spending the money. others would spend it on hookers and cocaine, others would but a car.

all about what people want really and i think its unfair of people to slag off people who want a big wedding.

Muise...

homerjay2005 wrote: »

you obviously didnt read my post above did you? spending €20k on a wedding means you probably will end up getting back most of that 20k back.

of course some people have weddings in top class hotels which charge €80-€100 per head but then these people want their day out also. its normally, about what people can afford.

Your guests won't get anything back. Your wedding might be about what you can afford, but your guests may not be able to afford it.

Cienciano

I've no problems with it. Just don't go if you can't afford to, simple. I had 2 close mates get married in the last 2 years abroad and I didn't go because it was too expensive. But it's their choice to get married wherever they like, so be it.

Cyrus

Cienciano wrote: »

I've no problems with it. Just don't go if you can't afford to, simple. I had 2 close mates get married in the last 2 years abroad and I didn't go because it was too expensive. But it's their choice to get married wherever they like, so be it.

Exactly!

Holsten

The same thing I think about weddings here.

Outdated needless waste of money.

MistyCheese

Cydoniac wrote: »

Spending €20k on a wedding is unfathomable to me...You could go on a cruise around the world, surely more memorable?

Only if you sieze the other passengers and compell them to fawn over you on your special fairy princess daaaaay!

Also give you money.

homerjay2005

Muise... wrote: »

Your guests won't get anything back. Your wedding might be about what you can afford, but your guests may not be able to afford it.

there is no pressure on any guests to give big money, people normally give what they can afford.

a meal in a 5 start hotel for two people and wine can normally cost about €100 anyway, wedding or not.

Muise...

homerjay2005 wrote: »

there is no pressure on any guests to give big money, people normally give what they can afford.

a meal in a 5 start hotel for two people and wine can normally cost about €100 anyway, wedding or not.

Guests will have to spend money on your present, drinks, transport, possibly babysitters and clothes and accomodation. Why make it more expensive for all of them just so you can recoup the cost from some of them?

Mars Bar

I'm going to a wedding in Benalmadena in August. No ifs or buts about going because it's two of my best friends getting married.

I'm looking forward to it!

Thankfully, sense prevailed and the hen night is not going to be an overnight all-weekender thing because they're aware of the cost.

Sir Arthur Daley

One is nearly guaranteed good warm weather which makes the day really, hate being frozen in a suit in the church and with all the lounging around after the sermony.

Femme_Fatale

Some people really love the idea of getting married in a lovely sunny place abroad, so they should do it if they have the means. Anyone I know who has done it or hopes to do it, has not expected anyone to go, apart from very close family. Even close friends aren't expected to attend (but tend to want to). In the case of couples I know, their preference is to have a small wedding anyway; it's kinda part of why they are having it/had it abroad.

I know one couple who wanted to go abroad and just have their parents/siblings present, but other family members kicked up a stink over it so they had their wedding at home, but still kept it as small as possible.

Legs.Eleven

My first cousin is getting married in the Canary Islands this year and he invited myself and my boyfriend. Although it's close-ish to where I live, he's getting married on a weekday and I'm not entitled to any holidays. I'm also saving for the Summer when I don't get paid and for a university course starting September and my boyfriend is unemployed and not receiving the dole. I told him I couldn't go and explained why and I'm presuming he'll understand. I presume most people would understand if you couldn't go?