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Funny sayings

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  • 07-02-2014 3:11pm
    #1
    Frigga_92
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,809 ✭✭✭


    I see there is a thread resurrected about funny insults so I thought I would start a thread about funny sayings. I did a quick search but couldn't see a similar thread.

    <Snip> has quite a neck on her, she chances her arm with so many things but yet she always manages to get away with it and it drives everyone mad.
    We were chatting about this again yesterday and <snip> came out with this gem <snip>:

    "If she fell out the window, up the way she'd go" :pac:

    Do you have any funny sayings to share?


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    #2
    vicwatson
    Registered Users Posts: 28,403 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    No


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    #3
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    I accidentally my funny saying, the whole thing.


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    #4
    keith16
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,061 ✭✭✭keith16


    My grandad used to say:

    "If you're going to be hung for stealing the lamb....you might as well conquer the Universe"


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    #5
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    If you want the winter to pass quick, buy dear kent land.


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    #6
    131spanner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭131spanner


    It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog! :D


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    #7
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    If it don't fit don't force it.


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    #8
    MonaPizza
    Registered Users Posts: 1,014 ✭✭✭MonaPizza


    My uncle when talking about a certain brassy and voluptuous woman said "she'd fcuk a town down and laugh at the ruins."


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    #9
    jimgoose
    Registered Users Posts: 20,176 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    From my father:

    He'd take the eye out of your head, and persuade you blind you look better without it!

    :D


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    #10
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users Posts: 11,646 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    From a thread in here recently, I think:

    "I wouldn't get off of her 'til I felt the baby crowning."


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    #11
    Merkin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    My beloved granny used to have a great saying but I am going to change the name of the person because I think this person actually did exist:

    "He was as ugly as Paul O'Riordan who died of shame"


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    #12
    Merkin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    Or referring to someone who was cross eyed:

    You didn't know if he was looking at ya or looking for ya!

    :D


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    #13
    dmc17
    Registered Users Posts: 3,729 ✭✭✭dmc17


    WikiHow wrote: »
    If it don't fit don't force it.

    "If you don't force it, it won't fit"


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    #14
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    When looking at an aesthetically pleasing behind

    "I would get up in the middle of the night just to look at it".


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    #15
    dodderangler
    Registered Users Posts: 9,204 ✭✭✭dodderangler


    She'd chew an apple through a letter box


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    #16
    Merkin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    She'd eat her dinner out of a drawer (if they were stingy)


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    #17
    Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,009 ✭✭✭Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo


    "She wasn't just the fattest girl I've ever riden, she's the fattest girl I've ever seen." :pac:


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    #18
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    When you are in a relationship but still surveying the field.

    "I might be on diet but I can still look at the menu."


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    #19
    jaggiebunnet
    Registered Users Posts: 1,356 ✭✭✭jaggiebunnet


    Merkin wrote: »
    Or referring to someone who was cross eyed:

    You didn't know if he was looking at ya or looking for ya!

    :D

    He had one eye going to the shops and the other one coming back with the change


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    #20
    murpho999
    Registered Users Posts: 28,436 ✭✭✭✭murpho999


    wazky wrote: »
    When you are in a relationship but still surveying the field.

    "I might be on diet but I can still look at the menu."

    Isn't it "You can look at the menu once you eat at home"?


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    #21
    jaggiebunnet
    Registered Users Posts: 1,356 ✭✭✭jaggiebunnet


    murpho999 wrote: »
    Isn't it "You can look at the menu once you eat at home"?

    I thought it was "It doesn't matter where i get the appetite so long as I go home hungry"


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    #22
    Merkin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    jaggiebunnet wrote: »
    He had one eye going to the shops and the other one coming back with the change

    Comedy gold :D


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    #23
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    wazky wrote: »
    When looking at an aesthetically pleasing behind

    "I would get up in the middle of the night just to look at it".


    Something similar, her father in "Bridget Jones' Diary" -


    "I like a woman with an arse you can park your bike in and balance a pint of beer on"


    From my old man when I was growing up -


    "Hands out of your pockets, a good engineer never has his hands in his pockets"

    "If you can't baffle them with science, blind them with bullshìt"


    And il's not too often you can say it about a Guinness nowadays but -

    "Dere's 'atin' 'n' drinkin' in daaah"

    - Me, before I attended intensive speech therapy and elocution classes to work the bogger out of me :D


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    #24
    OrgasmicBaz
    Registered Users Posts: 471 ✭✭OrgasmicBaz


    jaggiebunnet wrote: »
    He had one eye going to the shops and the other one coming back with the change


    One blew east, one blew west


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    #25
    BillyMitchel
    Registered Users Posts: 3,324 ✭✭✭BillyMitchel


    He's sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop.


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    #26
    BUBBLES1978
    Registered Users Posts: 383 ✭✭BUBBLES1978


    Id eat a nuns arse through a convent wall

    sweating like a paedophile in a sweet shop

    id lick him all over like a new born calf....:D..


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    #27
    Mariasofia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,887 ✭✭✭Mariasofia


    A lot of eye ones but...
    Tis all fun and games til someone loses an eye :-D


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    #28
    drake70
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭drake70


    I read this somewhere:

    "Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue"

    ...The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett


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    #29
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    If there was work in the bed he'd sleep on the floor.


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    #30
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Mariasofia wrote: »
    A lot of eye ones but...
    Tis all fun and games til someone loses an eye :-D


    "He'd take the white out of your eye and come back for the pupil" :D


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    #31
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    Mariasofia wrote: »
    A lot of eye ones but...
    Tis all fun and games til someone loses an eye :-D

    Tis all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


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