Children at weddings

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:37PM

JJJJNR wrote: »

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That's why you were not on the guest list.

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:40PM

mauzo! wrote: »

Sounds perfect, I'd love an outdoor wedding. Instead I'm having a regular old hotel wedding that's costing €12,000

Anyway! sure it will be fun.

If it is not the wedding you want, change it.

No rules that say you must do the boring hotel beef or salmon route.

Rent a glamping venue...

http://www.dromquinnamanor.com/luxury-tents.html

Lollipops23 · 28-01-2014 05:42PM

JJJJNR wrote: »

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Must say, my personal taste would agree with this sentiment. I always think it's a bit pretentious to ask your guests to wear black tie. Plus it's a whole load of added expense, when we all know weddings are all money to begin with.

Like I said, that's just my personal taste.

wolfpawnat · 28-01-2014 05:47PM

Unless it is a child friendly wedding, I have seen just one, where there was entertainment in another room for kids, it is assumed children are not allowed.

I had a huge argument because my son was not invited to the whole wedding once, you think it's a fair rule, well he was paige boy and it was his aunts wedding, and the two flower girls (not relatives) and other kids were allowed. Nice family! I have been to other wedding since he was born and I didn't bring him and I never once moaned.

If she is being anal, the bride should tell her to get stuffed. It's her wedding.

Butterface · 28-01-2014 05:47PM

I was a flower girl 3 years in a row for older cousins many, many years ago. My only abiding memory of those weddings is that of utter boredom, getting tired and cranky, and falling asleep on a seat in a function room with my dad's jacket over me.

At one of the weddings I ran around the place with my siblings and my brother tripped on my dress and ripped it! The wedding video shows me dancing and then pans around to the look of shock on the guest's face as they noticed my dress!

I have been to weddings over the years where the children are hyper during all the moments they shouldn't be, then when the adults are drunk, dancing and having the craic, the children begin to tire, get cranky and act up.

I wouldn't have very young children at my wedding, and probably only neices or nephews if I had to!

Ihatecuddles · 28-01-2014 05:48PM

MadsL wrote: »

If it is not the wedding you want, change it.

No rules that say you must do the boring hotel beef or salmon route.

Rent a glamping venue...

http://www.dromquinnamanor.com/luxury-tents.html

We want to get married in Dublin, or Wicklow/Meath. I'm so torn, I don't want to undo everything we've planned so far.

We are getting married on a beach so it will be nice and we can sit outside before the meal.
/talks self into it

Gambas · 28-01-2014 05:50PM

MadsL wrote: »

Ours was an evening wedding in an historic country house where we needed to take care not to damage antique furnishings. We married at the house as late as the law allowed for a Black Tie event.

We paid a lot of money to hire opera singers to entertain between dinner courses which would have been ruined by screaming kids. We then had a full bar and band set up in a marquee.

An entirely inappropriate scenario for toddlers.

As I mentioned we hired a childminder to mind the kids offsite.

Let me see... who would I be more worried about wrecking the furniture

a) three three year olds

b) thirty thirty year olds with free bar

hmmmm.... was that you who spilled the guinness and blackcurrant shandy over the tapestry little Jimmy? And had a little vom in the drawer of the chippendale? Tell the truth now?

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:50PM

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Must say, my personal taste would agree with this sentiment. I always think it's a bit pretentious to ask your guests to wear black tie. Plus it's a whole load of added expense, when we all know weddings are all money to begin with.

Like I said, that's just my personal taste.

I rented for my groomsmen that did not already have evening wear.

I also provided a full weekend of hospitality. Friday night two separate dinners (one Gents, one Ladies), a breakfast pack in the accommodation so they could cook a fryup, a morning of activities (golf, riding, walking tour or shooting) the wedding itself (full free bar all night) and a Sunday morning farewell brunch. Plus buses everywhere so no one had to drive.

If my guests felt they got poor value in having to rent evening wear then I'd be very suprised, not to mention most of my guests already owned it.

You tailor your wedding to your guests, not their brats.

fatknacker · 28-01-2014 05:52PM

Ugh. Weddings always seem like such a political nightmare.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 28-01-2014 05:54PM

Gambas wrote: »

Let me see... who would I be more worried about wrecking the furniture

a) three three year olds

b) thirty thirty year olds with free bar

hmmmm.... was that you who spilled the guinness and blackcurrant shandy over the tapestry little Jimmy? And had a little vom in the drawer of the chippendale? Tell the truth now?

Are you by any chance one of those parents who likes to bring your children everywhere, and can't understand why they're not always welcome?

Gambas · 28-01-2014 05:54PM

fatknacker wrote: »

Ugh. Weddings always seem like such a political nightmare.

No, you have it wrong, it's the kids that are the problemz, don't you see

JJJJNR · 28-01-2014 05:54PM

pics or it didn't happen.

Lollipops23 · 28-01-2014 05:56PM

MadsL wrote: »

You tailor your wedding to your guests, not their brats.

Again, weddings are a personal thing and everyone has a different vision of how they'd like their day to go.

Frankly I doubt I'd have enjoyed yours, had I been a guest. It's lovely that you did thoughtful things like the breakfast packs etc., but a 3 day affair is a bit much for guests outside of the immediate family/bridal party. Most people just want to get the hell out of there if they've stayed overnight.

And don't get me started on "fun" activities like shooting.

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:57PM

Gambas wrote: »

Let me see... who would I be more worried about wrecking the furniture

a) three three year olds

b) thirty thirty year olds with free bar

hmmmm.... was that you who spilled the guinness and blackcurrant shandy over the tapestry little Jimmy? And had a little vom in the drawer of the chippendale? Tell the truth now?

This is why the bar was out in a marquee and out of the house at that stage...

Dr Robotnik · 28-01-2014 05:57PM

Gambas wrote: »

No, you have it wrong, it's the kids that are the problemz, don't you see

Kids will be kids. The parentz are the problemz.

Gambas · 28-01-2014 05:58PM

MadsL wrote: »

This is why the bar was out in a marquee and out of the house at that stage...

Smooth...

Gambas · 28-01-2014 06:01PM

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

Are you by any chance one of those parents who likes to bring your children everywhere, and can't understand why they're not always welcome?

No, I'm one of those people who can't understand the preciousness that surrounds weddings.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 28-01-2014 06:05PM

Gambas wrote: »

No, I'm one of those people who can't understand the preciousness that surrounds weddings.

There's nothing precious about a couple deciding they can't afford to invite all their friends' children and lay on entertainment or deciding they want an adult only wedding with no children because it's a big day in their lives and they just want things calm and for their guests to be able to enjoy themselves in a certain way . Is it precious for people to invite friends over for dinner without including their children? Or for a group of women to have a girls' weekend away and object to someone bringing their toddler along?

ArnoldJRimmer · 28-01-2014 06:07PM

ash23 wrote: »

I'd never bitch about my child not being asked to a wedding. But in one case, I stated that I couldn't go to a wedding as my child wasn't invited. It was a wedding where I'd have to travel, stay at the hotel that night and as it was a family wedding my usual babysitters were going to it too.
It was on a Thursday and my daughter had school so couldn't be sent to her other grandparents. It just wasn't possible for me to go because she wasn't invited. It wasn't me bitching, just stating fact.
However the bride went bridezilla about it and had a hissy fit that I was refusing to come to the wedding unless my child was invited.

So, if a couple don't want kids there, then fair enough. But they have to also accept that getting away to a wedding without kids is difficult for many parents and they might not be able to go as a result. That's not bitching, it's just fact.

I think the bride and groom are perfectly entitled to invite who they want to a wedding, and if they don;t want kids there, then so be it. If they want to be accommodating, and organise a kids room etc, then great. As a guest at someone else's wedding, they could have a reception where the entire room are playing vuvuzela's, and it wouldn't bother me. its not my day

However, I completely agree with this. If its very difficult to co-ordinate, and you cant make it, then the bride should accept it. It reminds me of a few years ago when a girl I knew organised her wedding in Italy. It was a very very expensive weekend long trip. I wasn't invited, but one or two of her friends declined as they simply couldn't afford it. Didn't stop the bride in question going ballistic at them for not showing up to her big day

TwoShedsJackson · 28-01-2014 06:11PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I'm getting married in May and I love the idea of kids running around

I don't know what to do now, I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 7 and would love them all there. The more kids the better really.

Reading the posts here it seems the vast majority of people hate kids at weddings

Kids are like farts, you can barely stand your own.

MadsL · 28-01-2014 06:16PM

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Again, weddings are a personal thing and everyone has a different vision of how they'd like their day to go.

Frankly I doubt I'd have enjoyed yours, had I been a guest. It's lovely that you did thoughtful things like the breakfast packs etc., but a 3 day affair is a bit much for guests outside of the immediate family/bridal party. Most people just want to get the hell out of there if they've stayed overnight.

And don't get me started on "fun" activities like shooting.

70% of the guests had travelled from overseas, many of them from the US.

Electric Sheep · 28-01-2014 06:34PM

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Unless it is a child friendly wedding, I have seen just one, where there was entertainment in another room for kids, it is assumed children are not allowed.

I had a huge argument because my son was not invited to the whole wedding once, you think it's a fair rule, well he was paige boy and it was his aunts wedding, and the two flower girls (not relatives) and other kids were allowed. Nice family! I have been to other wedding since he was born and I didn't bring him and I never once moaned.

If she is being anal, the bride should tell her to get stuffed. It's her wedding.

If the other children in the wedding party were invited, I would suspect it had to do with his general behaviour as experienced by the bride on other occasions.

Cienciano · 28-01-2014 06:35PM

I didn't have kids at my wedding and I wouldn't want to bring my kids to someone elses wedding. Weddings go on late, involve drink and chatting to friends you haven't seen in ages, would rather that than spending the evening looking after the kids.

fatknacker wrote: »

Ugh. Weddings always seem like such a political nightmare.

It is for some people, some people love to moan about everything the bride and groom do because it doesn't suit them. It's simple, plan your wedding to suit yourself, if people can't make it because it doesn't suit them, that's their problem. If they spend their time moaning about it, they're probably not the type of person you want at your wedding!

wolfpawnat · 28-01-2014 06:38PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

If the other children in the wedding party were invited, I would suspect it had to do with his general behaviour as experienced by the bride on other occasions.

If she had spent more than 15 minutes in his company she would know his behaviour. I do not claim to have the perfect child. There is no such thing. He is a good kid, we thought he was invited as there were other kids older and younger so we booked a hotel sitter from 8pm on as to not have him around drinking adults and to not be a nuisance. But she chose non related kids to her only relation and when people noted that, she said we got a babysitter because we wanted a night of drinking...........I don't drink. So lying to defend her actions, we found out her husband to be didn't like him calling him Uncle X as "they weren't related" and has a thing against our son, so his nieces were allowed, but her nephew wasn't. On that account, I think we can get annoyed.

Tiddlypeeps · 28-01-2014 06:44PM

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Reminds me of a friends wedding a number of years ago. Her hubby thought it would be a great idea to mix people up at tables so that each side got to know each other. Ridiculous idea IMO, but whatever.

Why do people do this! It's horrible! Stop it! It makes for the most awkward couple of hours ever. Most of these people will never see each other again, so there is nothing to be gained from forcing them to interact.

It's fine when logistics don't allow everybody to sit with all the people the would like at their table, that's totally reasonable and to be expected. I'm talking about the weddings where they deliberately try and put as many people that don't know each other at each table in an attempt to get everyone talking to one another.

Arbiter of Good Taste · 28-01-2014 07:01PM

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

Why do people do this! It's horrible! Stop it! It makes for the most awkward couple of hours ever. Most of these people will never see each other again, so there is nothing to be gained from forcing them to interact.

It's fine when logistics don't allow everybody to sit with all the people the would like at their table, that's totally reasonable and to be expected. I'm talking about the weddings where they deliberately try and put as many people that don't know each other at each table in an attempt to get everyone talking to one another.

I know! And the couple live overseas, so all these people travelled for the wedding. We will never see them again.

mrsbyrne · 28-01-2014 07:02PM

In simply think now that modern weddings are not suitable outings for kids under 12.
The day is far too long for them and there is far too much waiting around and then sitting endlessly for the meal.
Its almost idiotic really. If you've small children and you get a wedding invite either arrange for them to have a babysitter at home, plump for the expense of bringing a babysitter with you or just politely decline.
Bringing them and then hoping that your brothers teenage daughter will keep an eye on them is just stupid.

diomed · 28-01-2014 07:05PM

Put it on the invitation
"Your brats are not invited - no offence"

anncoates · 28-01-2014 07:11PM

I'd bring my kids to a family wedding, for example, I'm obviously bringing them to my sister's wedding but all other weddings, I wouldn't even if invited.

I would have thought most parents would jump at the chance to go to a wedding and have a session without their kids.

That said, for my own wedding, I didn't specify kids or no kids: if anybody wanted to bring their kids, I wouldn't have minded at all. It's an informal family and friends day not a picture book production but as I said at the start, hardly anybody did bring them anyway apart from family.

Holsten · 28-01-2014 07:22PM

Every wedding I've been at has been strict no children allowed. I think it's better this way. I mean I remember being at weddings as a child and hating it. It's not an environment for children at all.

It's better for all if they are not there, the parents can relax for the day/night enjoy their drinks, let their hair down while the children can be at home playing games and doing fun stuff for children.

Children at weddings

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