Children at weddings

c68zapdsm5i1ru

A good friend of mine is getting married in a few weeks and sent the invitations out just after Christmas. She has heard back on the grapevine that a couple of invited guests are bitching because their children weren't included in the invite. She's quite upset about it. I've told her they're the ones who are in the wrong, most people do not assume their kids will be invited to a wedding unless it's a very close relative. And even then, very small children often aren't included.

I haven't been to a wedding in about three years, but I presume that's still the case? Or has it now become the norm to include friends' and colleagues' children on wedding invitations?

MadsL

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

A good friend of mine is getting married in a few weeks and sent the invitations out just after Christmas. She has heard back on the grapevine that a couple of invited guests are bitching because their children weren't included in the invite. She's quite upset about it. I've told her they're the ones who are in the wrong, most people do not assume their kids will be invited to a wedding unless it's a very close relative. And even then, very small children often aren't included.

I haven't been to a wedding in about three years, but I presume that's still the case? Or has it now become the norm to include friends' and colleagues' children on wedding invitations?

Parents, and their endless delusion that their spawn of Satan who are running around being utter brats are such delightful kiddiewinks.

I had a party recently where several children spent most of it roaring around my house into every cupboard and wardrobe, including our bedroom, flicking lights on and off and 'playing' expensive musical instruments after being told (by me) to stop. Parents off in la-la land with a glass of wine opining on some aspect of 'parenting'.

wazky

Un-invite the parents who are bitching, that will sort that issue.

MadsL

We hired a child-minder at our wedding. Seemed to go down well, parents get to have the craic minus the spawn.

homemadecider

I hate when children's are running around at wedding receptions. Adults only for goodness sake, sure the place is full of people getting hammered, it's not an appropriate place for kids.

Dr Robotnik

Unless you're a family member, then you shouldn't expect an invite for your child. Weddings are boring for children, and intolerable for everyone else who has to put up with their whinging and running round tables and sliding around on the dancefloor.

Larbre34

This is an old old chestnut around these parts.

It has become the 'norm' not to invite them from what Ive seen, except for close child relatives and flower girls etc if desired by the bride and groom.

Always amazes me the arrogance of some invited guests. People should remember who the hosts are, if you dont like what they wish for the biggest day of their lives then stay the **** at home.

MadsL

MadsL wrote: »

We hired a child-minder at our wedding. Seemed to go down well, parents get to have the craic minus the spawn.

brilliant idea. Everyones happy.

El Guapo!

I had no kids at my wedding either. I told everyone well in advance that there'd be no kids allowed. I didn't want kids running around all over the place.
Every one of the parents were delighted. They organised babysitters in advance and had a great night without needing to keep one eye on their child the whole time.
Anyone who complains about that is just being selfish in my opinion.

gobnaitolunacy

Dr Robotnik wrote: »

Unless you're a family member, then you shouldn't expect an invite for your child. Weddings are boring for children, and intolerable for everyone else who has to put up with their whinging and running round tables and sliding around on the dancefloor.

They're boring for some adults as well!

caustic 1

few years ago niece got married, our children and another family members were invited but others were not because they never darkened the door ever to visit whereas we did. There was such a hullaballoo about it and some not speaking to that family to this day, which they don't give a fec k about as they don't see them anyway except if there is an occasion of some sort.

travis1976

I'd be looking forward to getting away from them for the day...:)

Arbiter of Good Taste

I'm just recently married and we only had hubby's niece and nephew. Most of my friends have children and no one assumed theirs would be invited. It always perplexes me why some people do.

Cantona's Collars

No kids under a certain age,it ruins the night for the parents as they miss everything while dealing with tired kids or there's the parents who let them run wild & ruin the enjoyment of everyone else.

I had a party a while back and told one set of inlaws strictly no kids as I knew they'd turn up with them otherwise.There was a pause as I told them but I said "you've plenty of notice to arrange a sitter,it's a party for adults,not a childs birthday bash in Playzone".

It's the bride & grooms day,fuck anyone who's unhappy 'cos they can't drag their little darlings along.

KKkitty

It's the bride and groom's day so it's up to them who they invite and who they don't. Unless they're related to the kids the parents of the kids should understand that a wedding is a mostly adult occasion. A wedding day is long and quite tedious at times even for adults so how fair is it of parents to expect theirs children to remain quiet during the ceremony and reception.

ghogie91

Should have put stripper show on the invite And all kids welcome

Id say the kids would be excluded of mammy and daddy think that natlia will be gettin her baps out

Dr Robotnik

gobnaitolunacy wrote: »

They're boring for some adults as well!

Of course! I hated being dragged to weddings when I was a youngster. You'd have a hotel function room full of people you barely know, being served food that you don't like, listening to people talk about things that you have no interest in.

20 years on, I feel exactly the same way!

shruikan2553

Dont understand why parents would want to bring their children. Its a long event with little for them to do and adults will be drinking until late at night. You dont expect to bring your children when a friend invites you out for a few drinks.

When I get married it will be fun, my mother stays close with a lot of the family so I will be expected to invite the previous owners of her cousin's dog. If I need to ask who someone is they really have no place there and theres a very high chance I have never met their children either.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Reminds me of a friends wedding a number of years ago. Her hubby thought it would be a great idea to mix people up at tables so that each side got to know each other. Ridiculous idea IMO, but whatever. So, myself and two other girlfriends and our partners - all childless - were stuck at a table with a smug married couple and their one year old who had his own place at the table in a high chair.

scdublin

Definitely only expected if the kids are close relatives themselves, and even then I really think it's just up to the couple.

Gambas

It's a difficult one. It is hard to know who is further up their own arse, parents of young children being precious about their little darlings, or brides being precious about their special day. Personally I think that the parents, however painful, at least have something worth being precious about. However, the bottom line is that who ever is hosting the wedding sets the conditions and technically you are free to not turn up if you want.

Unfortunately, it isn't really practical to rsvp in the negative just because it is a load of hassle that the bride and groom don't yet understand. It's just one of those things, you've got to put up with for a few years.

Gambas

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Reminds me of a friends wedding a number of years ago. Her hubby thought it would be a great idea to mix people up at tables so that each side got to know each other. Ridiculous idea IMO, but whatever. So, myself and two other girlfriends and our partners - all childless - were stuck at a table with a smug married couple and their one year old who had his own place at the table in a high chair.

Sharing a table with a one year old? How dreadful.

Wally Runs

Having been the groom, childless guest and now parent of three, I can see all sides of the discussion. Sure the parents want their kids invited, no the day is not about them and their needs! It is about celebrating day of the bride and groom, who are going all out to share it with their friends and family.

My experience would be that unless the bride and groom HFU and make that their priory, everyone will stick their oar in. Hard as it is, your friend should worry about nobody but herself and of course the groom. Leave the worry to the others. The day passes too quickly.

If she must, then hire an 'entertainer' and give the kids pizza and chicken nuggets; why waste the full price of meal on someone who will not appreciate it.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Thanks for the replies. I think some people just don't get that their children aren't welcome at every occasion. I've only been to one wedding where lots of children were invited and one little brat created havoc in the Church while her mother sat there and did absolutely nothing about it. Eventually the well behaved children started grizzling because they could see this one child being allowed to run around and make as much noise as she liked. Eventually another guest just came over and took the badly behaved child out. We were praying we wouldn't be put at the idiotic mother's table for the meal. I couldn't believe that someone would allow a friend's wedding vows to be completely drowned out because they wouldn't control their child.
Also, it must add considerably to the expense of a wedding if you have to invite scores of children as well.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Gambas wrote: »

Sharing a table with a one year old? How dreadful.

Thank you, your constructive input is much appreciated

Tombo2001

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

A good friend of mine is getting married in a few weeks and sent the invitations out just after Christmas. She has heard back on the grapevine that a couple of invited guests are bitching because their children weren't included in the invite. She's quite upset about it. I've told her they're the ones who are in the wrong, most people do not assume their kids will be invited to a wedding unless it's a very close relative. And even then, very small children often aren't included.

I haven't been to a wedding in about three years, but I presume that's still the case? Or has it now become the norm to include friends' and colleagues' children on wedding invitations?

OP

In the plainest possible terms:

It is your friends big day.

On their big day, they do what they want.

If they dont want children there, then kids shouldnt be there.

Any friends who wont accept that are being very, very selfish.

---

The exception I would make are nieces and nephews, but absolutely no more than that.

Furthermore, what sort of parent wants to bring their kids to a big booze up. Is that really in the best interests of the kids.

(PS, I'm assuming you are talking about the reception rather than the church itself, I'd have no big issue with people bringing their kids to the church.

Galwayguy35

Gambas wrote: »

Sharing a table with a one year old? How dreadful.

Actually I could think of nothing worse, who wants to be listening to a one year old kid bawling across the table at a wedding.

MadsL

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Actually I could think of nothing worse, who wants to be listening to a one year old kid bawling across the table at a wedding.

Worse, who wants to watch a one year eat as they try to enjoy the old beef or salmon.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Gambas wrote: »

Sharing a table with a one year old? How dreadful.

It can be very annoying actually, if you're at a special occasion and just want to relax and enjoy yourself. One year olds get bored and start grizzling and crying; or the adult conversation has to be constantly interrupted because they need attention; not to mention the throwing food, spilling drinks, trying to grab things off the table etc.
Fine if you're at a family meal in someone's house, but not always fine if it's a stranger's child at a wedding or other similar occasion.

kowloon

MadsL wrote: »

We hired a child-minder at our wedding. Seemed to go down well, parents get to have the craic minus the spawn.

That's actually a really good idea. They get bored anyway, lets them mix with the other children and do their own thing.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

kowloon wrote: »

That's actually a really good idea. They get bored anyway, lets them mix with the other children and do their own thing.

My brother and sister in law were invited to a wedding where there was a separate room with entertainment and pizza and chips for the children. My older nephew went in no problem and had a ball. The three year old was feeling a bit off colour and cranky and refused to go in and had to sit at the table with his parents and other guests. Much as I adore my nephew I did feel sorry for the other people at the table on that occasion. I'm sure the last thing they wanted was a whingy toddler sharing their meal.