Children at weddings

lazygal · 28-01-2014 04:37PM

I don't enjoy weddings with children around. People who wanted to bring their children were the most annoying aspect of wedding planning for us. If you can't go somewhere without your child stay home.

rainbow kirby · 28-01-2014 04:49PM

I won't be inviting any to my wedding anyway. More trouble than they are worth!

MadsL · 28-01-2014 04:51PM

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

My brother and sister in law were invited to a wedding where there was a separate room with entertainment and pizza and chips for the children. My older nephew went in no problem and had a ball. The three year old was feeling a bit off colour and cranky and refused to go in and had to sit at the table with his parents and other guests. Much as I adore my nephew I did feel sorry for the other people at the table on that occasion. I'm sure the last thing they wanted was a whingy toddler sharing their meal.

How nice of the parents to sacrifice their own enjoyment rather than spoil the enjoyment of others at the table. Oh wait.

Seriously, how ****ing hard would it have been for one parent to bring this toddler into the pizza room and sit with them. Utter selfishness.

Dr Turk Turkelton · 28-01-2014 04:53PM

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Reminds me of a friends wedding a number of years ago. Her hubby thought it would be a great idea to mix people up at tables so that each side got to know each other. Ridiculous idea IMO, but whatever. So, myself and two other girlfriends and our partners - all childless - were stuck at a table with a smug married couple and their one year old who had his own place at the table in a high chair.

Ever think that maybe you had done something to pi55 your friend off and this was their chance at revenge?

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 28-01-2014 04:54PM

MadsL wrote: »

How nice of the parents to sacrifice their own enjoyment rather than spoil the enjoyment of others at the table. Oh wait.

Seriously, how ****ing hard would it have been for one parent to bring this toddler into the pizza room and sit with them. Utter selfishness.

To be honest they're not a bit selfish normally. I think they just weren't thinking straight or something.

ash23 · 28-01-2014 04:56PM

I'd never bitch about my child not being asked to a wedding. But in one case, I stated that I couldn't go to a wedding as my child wasn't invited. It was a wedding where I'd have to travel, stay at the hotel that night and as it was a family wedding my usual babysitters were going to it too.
It was on a Thursday and my daughter had school so couldn't be sent to her other grandparents. It just wasn't possible for me to go because she wasn't invited. It wasn't me bitching, just stating fact.
However the bride went bridezilla about it and had a hissy fit that I was refusing to come to the wedding unless my child was invited.

So, if a couple don't want kids there, then fair enough. But they have to also accept that getting away to a wedding without kids is difficult for many parents and they might not be able to go as a result. That's not bitching, it's just fact.

Gambas · 28-01-2014 04:56PM

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

It can be very annoying actually, if you're at a special occasion and just want to relax and enjoy yourself. One year olds get bored and start grizzling and crying; or the adult conversation has to be constantly interrupted because they need attention; not to mention the throwing food, spilling drinks, trying to grab things off the table etc.
Fine if you're at a family meal in someone's house, but not always fine if it's a stranger's child at a wedding or other similar occasion.

I'd gladly sit and make chat with the one year old rather than the table with the grooms boorish mates who feel the need to let the whole wedding know that they are such rogues that they are, wait for it....gambling on the length of the best mans speech.

Or the table with the religious aunt.

Or the table with the couple having a row.

Most weddings are fairly boring affairs IMO, and the more the bride and groom are convinced it is a special occasion, the worse the wedding is (course you can always drink yourself into oblivion to get past the boredom and declare it an unqualified success, but I'm at the age now were I think that is kinda pathetic).

The presence of kids tends to take the faux stuffiness out of the day and that is generally a good thing. Sure you can get some kids that are a nightmare on the day, but I've yet to hear of a wedding where a couple of 1 year olds had a fist fight that ended up with one in hospital and the guards being called.

Regardless, its the bride and grooms day, and what ever they say goes.

Arbiter of Good Taste · 28-01-2014 04:57PM

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Ever think that maybe you had done something to pi55 your friend off and this was their chance at revenge?

Nope, we're best of mates. She blamed her husband for the seating plans (and FAOD of course we didn't complain to her. The bride has enough to worry about on the day!)

Ihatecuddles · 28-01-2014 05:00PM

I'm getting married in May and I love the idea of kids running around

I don't know what to do now, I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 7 and would love them all there. The more kids the better really.

Reading the posts here it seems the vast majority of people hate kids at weddings

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:00PM

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

To be honest they're not a bit selfish normally. I think they just weren't thinking straight or something.

Oh they were drunk. Even better argument for not bringing the kiddiewinks.

ash23 · 28-01-2014 05:01PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I'm getting married in May and I love the idea of kids running around

I don't know what to do now, I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 7 and would love them all there. The more kids the better really.

Reading the posts here it seems the vast majority of people hate kids at weddings

It's only cos it's AH. Don't worry about it too much

BBDBB · 28-01-2014 05:02PM

its your day, (you and your partner that is) so if you want kids there, then invite them, if others don't like it, tough. If they advise you that they wouldn't invite kids then they can bar them from their wedding when they get married.

Arbiter of Good Taste · 28-01-2014 05:02PM

ash23 wrote: »

I'd never bitch about my child not being asked to a wedding. But in one case, I stated that I couldn't go to a wedding as my child wasn't invited. It was a wedding where I'd have to travel, stay at the hotel that night and as it was a family wedding my usual babysitters were going to it too.
It was on a Thursday and my daughter had school so couldn't be sent to her other grandparents. It just wasn't possible for me to go because she wasn't invited. It wasn't me bitching, just stating fact.
However the bride went bridezilla about it and had a hissy fit that I was refusing to come to the wedding unless my child was invited.

So, if a couple don't want kids there, then fair enough. But they have to also accept that getting away to a wedding without kids is difficult for many parents and they might not be able to go as a result. That's not bitching, it's just fact.

That's a good point. I do think there needs to be some leeway and couples do have to realise that weekday weddings during school term will cause problems for some.

At our wedding two couples had newborns. We asked the hotel to hold back the family rooms for them as we knew they were going to bring a granny to stay for babysitting duty. We also arranged to send up dinner (which we paid for) to the babysitters. We didn't mind the small cost if it meant these people could enjoy themselves.

Gambas · 28-01-2014 05:03PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I'm getting married in May and I love the idea of kids running around

I don't know what to do now, I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 7 and would love them all there. The more kids the better really.

Reading the posts here it seems the vast majority of people hate kids at weddings

Good for you, never mind these monacle wearing, sphincter clenchers.

minidazzler · 28-01-2014 05:05PM

ash23 wrote: »

I'd never bitch about my child not being asked to a wedding. But in one case, I stated that I couldn't go to a wedding as my child wasn't invited. It was a wedding where I'd have to travel, stay at the hotel that night and as it was a family wedding my usual babysitters were going to it too.
It was on a Thursday and my daughter had school so couldn't be sent to her other grandparents. It just wasn't possible for me to go because she wasn't invited. It wasn't me bitching, just stating fact.
However the bride went bridezilla about it and had a hissy fit that I was refusing to come to the wedding unless my child was invited.

Not to have a go or anything, but I can see the brides side, she thought if she invited the kid you'd have the kid take time off school, but wouldn't take the kid off school to go to grannies while you went to the wedding.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 28-01-2014 05:05PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I'm getting married in May and I love the idea of kids running around

I don't know what to do now, I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 7 and would love them all there. The more kids the better really.

Reading the posts here it seems the vast majority of people hate kids at weddings

I don't hate kids at weddings. I hate parents who don't ensure their child isn't annoying other people and who won't take them out of the Church if they start kicking up. I also hate it when parents get all precious and sniffy about their children not being invited to everything.
I have no problem with children at weddings as long as they aren't allowed to take over and ruin the occasion for other guests, or most importantly, the bride and groom.

Ihatecuddles · 28-01-2014 05:05PM

I might just google and see if there is something for the kids to do on the day/night. Id rather take them all up to a bedroom and watch a movie with them than be around all the boozed up guests at my wedding

emmabrighton · 28-01-2014 05:07PM

Wow, I am of the complete opposite opinion to most of the posters here. A wedding is all about family and kids, to me anyway, are more symbolic of the union of marriage than a poofy white dress ever could be. So, for me, when I get married, I will do the vow thing and then it will be a hooplah with great food and fun entertainment for kids and parents alike.

Of course, I don't drink and I have a son, but still. Weddings are so tedious at the best of times... at least the kids would add a certain "what the fcuk is going to happen next" to the whole affair...

Ihatecuddles · 28-01-2014 05:07PM

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

I don't hate kids at weddings. I hate parents who don't ensure their child isn't annoying other people and who won't take them out of the Church if they start kicking up. I also hate it when parents get all precious and sniffy about their children not being invited to everything.
I have no problem with children at weddings as long as they aren't allowed to take over and ruin the occasion for other guests, or most importantly, the bride and groom.

The kids can spill Ribena on my dress and knock over the cake for all I care! I just want everyone to go, have a nice meal, laugh at the kids playing/dancing and enjoy themselves.

ash23 · 28-01-2014 05:09PM

minidazzler wrote: »

Not to have a go or anything, but I can see the brides side, she thought if she invited the kid you'd have the kid take time off school, but wouldn't take the kid off school to go to grannies while you went to the wedding.

It's one thing to bring a child with me and keep her overnight with me at the hotel and another to have to drive her to her other grandparents (who also have to take time off work), drive back in the opposite direction to the wedding, stay overnight and back down to the grandparents to get the child and then back home.

It's a total logistic nightmare trying to arrange sitters for overnights, add in the extra travel and the missing school and it just genuinely isn't worth it.

Ihatecuddles · 28-01-2014 05:09PM

emmabrighton wrote: »

Wow, I am of the complete opposite opinion to most of the posters here. A wedding is all about family and kids, to me anyway, are more symbolic of the union of marriage than a poofy white dress ever could be. So, for me, when I get married, I will do the vow thing and then it will be a hooplah with great food and fun entertainment for kids and parents alike.

Of course, I don't drink and I have a son, but still. Weddings are so tedious at the best of times... at least the kids would add a certain "what the fcuk is going to happen next" to the whole affair...

I think you are me....every single thing you said, I agree with!!And I have a son, and my name is Emma :P

Gambas · 28-01-2014 05:11PM

Angie Early Mineral wrote: »

I don't hate kids at weddings. I hate parents who don't ensure their child isn't annoying other people and who won't take them out of the Church if they start kicking up. I also hate it when parents get all precious and sniffy about their children not being invited to everything.
I have no problem with children at weddings as long as they aren't allowed to take over and ruin the occasion for other guests, or most importantly, the bride and groom.

Seriously, how can a child ruin the occasion? How delicate are these poor adults that a child making noise, or unloading its bowels into a nappy or grabbing the salt can ruin their day? Anyone that is this vulnerable needs to take a good hard look at themselves. And let's face it, no groom is going to give a flying fig, so really, it is solely a bridal concern, all rooted in this mental fairytale wedding idea.

D1stant · 28-01-2014 05:12PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I think you are me....every single thing you said, I agree with!!And I have a son, and my name is Emma :P

Me too. 'Cepting I ain't no Emma

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:16PM

Gambas wrote: »

Seriously, how can a child ruin the occasion? How delicate are these poor adults that a child making noise, or unloading its bowels into a nappy or grabbing the salt can ruin their day? Anyone that is this vulnerable needs to take a good hard look at themselves. And let's face it, no groom is going to give a flying fig, so really, it is solely a bridal concern, all rooted in this mental fairytale wedding idea.

Ours was an evening wedding in an historic country house where we needed to take care not to damage antique furnishings. We married at the house as late as the law allowed for a Black Tie event.

We paid a lot of money to hire opera singers to entertain between dinner courses which would have been ruined by screaming kids. We then had a full bar and band set up in a marquee.

An entirely inappropriate scenario for toddlers.

As I mentioned we hired a childminder to mind the kids offsite.

Tombo2001 · 28-01-2014 05:18PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I'm getting married in May and I love the idea of kids running around

I don't know what to do now, I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 7 and would love them all there. The more kids the better really.

Reading the posts here it seems the vast majority of people hate kids at weddings

I think thats a little bit harsh.

I dont "hate" kids at weddings.....

But the thing with kids is......if kids are there, then the event needs to be essentially about the kids.......and if its about the kids, then its not about you.....

You want to do a wedding speech and keep a room quiet, with 30 or 40 kids in the room......absolutely forget it. Not a chance.

You want to have an adult chat with a bunch of kids at the table, not going to happen.

If you want to do a kids event, then get married at the zoo.

And if you dont want to do a kids event, then dont invite kids to it. Its as much about being fair to the kids as to the adults.

Of course you want your nieces and nephews to be there. And that is not being debated here.

Its 'everyone elses kids too' that we are discussing.

The best solution, if you are inviting kids, is to have a child minder bring them off into a different room and show them some Toy Story dvds.

MadsL · 28-01-2014 05:23PM

mauzo! wrote: »

I might just google and see if there is something for the kids to do on the day/night. Id rather take them all up to a bedroom and watch a movie with them than be around all the boozed up guests at my wedding

Sounds like a camping/glamping style outdoor wedding might be more your style, lots of children in pixie dresses scampering around the woods in bare feet.

That and lashings of ginger beer

Ihatecuddles · 28-01-2014 05:27PM

MadsL wrote: »

Sounds like a camping/glamping style outdoor wedding might be more your style, lots of children in pixie dresses scampering around the woods in bare feet.

That and lashings of ginger beer

Sounds perfect, I'd love an outdoor wedding. Instead I'm having a regular old hotel wedding that's costing €12,000

Anyway! sure it will be fun.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 28-01-2014 05:33PM

Gambas wrote: »

Seriously, how can a child ruin the occasion? How delicate are these poor adults that a child making noise, or unloading its bowels into a nappy or grabbing the salt can ruin their day? Anyone that is this vulnerable needs to take a good hard look at themselves. And let's face it, no groom is going to give a flying fig, so really, it is solely a bridal concern, all rooted in this mental fairytale wedding idea.

It's not about being vulnerable. If a rude parent doesn't bother to make sure their child is brought out of the church if he's screaming or running around during the vows, or out of the dining room if he's throwing a tantrum or tearing around knocking into people and annoying them while they're trying to eat then they're ruining a nice occasion for other people. Not all parents behave like this (or most) but some do and then look bewildered or insulted if anyone seems not happy to have the child about the place.

Lollipops23 · 28-01-2014 05:35PM

Any of my family weddings in recent years have had all the kids at it. There's a fantastic photo taken at my cousin's wedding of all the kids lined up watching in awe of the couple's 1st dance

Having said that, the kids in question (all 10-12 of them) are well behaved and would never in a million years be let run riot by their parents. They added to the day for everyone, both by being adorable and entertaining.

I was at another wedding in Finland a while back and they'd set up the adjoining room onto the reception as a playroom. Disney dvds on a loop, toys and colouring books galore. Kept everyone out of trouble.

JJJJNR · 28-01-2014 05:36PM

MadsL wrote: »

Ours was an evening wedding in an historic country house where we needed to take care not to damage antique furnishings. We married at the house as late as the law allowed for a Black Tie event.

We paid a lot of money to hire opera singers to entertain between dinner .

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Children at weddings

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