Is being late for dinner rude?

MilanPan!c wrote: »

Bullsh1t.

I've lived in multiple countries and never had so many issues with punctuality...

...and I've had so many Irish people tell me, when I used to complain about this, that the only option was to just adapt and be late myself.

I've lived in many countries and have had just as many issues with punctuality.

Unfortunately my and your experiences don't allow us to make generalisations of any nation

MilanPan!c wrote: »

I show up 10-15 early for almost everything. If I think it'll be rude to actually present myself early I wait in my car, etc., until the time I'm meant to be there.

This rude behaviour exists because people allow it to exist.

Different things are rude in different countries, manners are not a universal truth. To an Irish person a lot of people from some European countries can come across as rude when really they just don't have the same cultural taboo against being direct and saying what you actually mean. To a lot of people not from Ireland, we can seem rude and inconsiderate in regards to punctuality, but most of the time it's not intended that way. The same way as our attitude to casual swearing seems atrocious to Americans, but there's no aggression or disrespect meant by it.

Its a mad time of the year and **** happens and what not but an hour late for a dinner invite is wrong. I'd go ahead and eat without her. As well as you guys not standing around being hungry, you being pissed off or the food getting ruined etc it might send her a small message in a polite way also rather then holding up the whole show for her and indulging her behaviour.

anncoates wrote: »

Everyone can be unavoidably late on occasion, but I know people that waffle on about their serial lack of punctuality like it's indicative of a daring riposte to conventionality but let's be honest, it just means they're being ignorant cunts

Your post could be more succinct. You'd have got away with the last four words.

Your upset is completely understandable OP but these are obviously good friends of yours given that you're cooking such a lovely meal for them on New Year's Eve. If I were you I wouldn't escalate things into an argument when you've gone to so much trouble, you'll ruin your own night as well as theirs and you're the one who's put in all the effort.

Instead, as others have suggested, just keep the food warm until your guest arrives and remember it's also okay to send a text to them in the meantime to see where they're at. Having said all that I wouldn't let the issue go unaddressed.

For your part, in future, give yourself and them some buffer time when doing a meal. If someone's doing a meal or BBQ type thing I always ask what time we'll be eating and what time they'd like me to arrive. The two are often different. If your friends confirmed that with you in advance then it is pretty rude of them to show up this late but I'd still build in some time in this regard both for you and for them; it takes the pressure off.

I'd also say to them (at a later date maybe, when you're feeling more collected) that it makes you feel unappreciated when they arrange to meet you at a particular time and then are late. Point out that this is particularly the case when you've put a lot of hard work into something like tonight. Go from there and here's hoping you enjoy your night.

I hate when people are late for dinner reservations. There is one girl in our group who is always late even when we tell her an earlier time. It's gotten to the stage where people order for her because she can be at least a half hour late.

A once off occasion is bearable but being consistently late is just poor manners.