Expats visiting home!

mannika · 03-12-2013 07:21AM #1

Does it get on your nerves when people can't get off their ass and come even half way to see you when you get home once a year???? Yeah i know the sun doesn't shine out of my ass and people can't just drop everything but seriously with 6 months notice a little effort would be nice!

Same people have no problem emailing you to let you know they've booked flights (without even checking the dates with you) and cant wait to come and see you (stay with you!)

dobman88 · 03-12-2013 07:47AM

Last year a mate of mine e-mailed me to say he was coming home in secret to surprise his family and friends. He didn't ask me for anything, just wanted to tell someone. My reply was simple: Tell me the arrival time and where he was flying into and I would be there to collect him. We had some laugh on the way home.

This year another friend is coming home from Oz, same again. E-mailed to tell me but they had travel plans from the airport sorted. So I booked a long weekend off work just before xmas and one in January so we can go for a few pints sometime.

I think you need new mates OP.

Jude13 · 03-12-2013 07:53AM

Same people all the time. Been away five years now and give loads of notice. Then I get the moany texts with one day left at home to catch up.

Canis Lupus · 03-12-2013 07:56AM

mannika wrote: »

Does it get on your nerves when people can't get off their ass and come even half way to see you when you get home once a year???? Yeah i know the sun doesn't shine out of my ass and people can't just drop everything but seriously with 6 months notice a little effort would be nice!

Same people have no problem emailing you to let you know they've booked flights (without even checking the dates with you) and cant wait to come and see you (stay with you!)

Maybe they don't like you and just put up with you for free sunshine accommodation?

gramar · 03-12-2013 08:01AM

Maybe they see you as an immigrant instead of an expat.

mannika · 03-12-2013 08:26AM

Dobbman my best friend is like that. As soon as i look at flights i let her know and she plans around me as i did when she was away and when she comes here. The rest of them who are great people, just dont think, i cant wait til i am home to plan my time, need to know in advance so i can try and see everyone. When i leave it til i get home it never works! I am an expat, I live in Dubai, naturalization isn't possible and i wouldn't do it anyway. You might be right Canis, will tell em to come in summertime then they will never want to see the sun again!

clairefontaine · 03-12-2013 08:32AM

mannika wrote: »

Does it get on your nerves when people can't get off their ass and come even half way to see you when you get home once a year???? Yeah i know the sun doesn't shine out of my ass and people can't just drop everything but seriously with 6 months notice a little effort would be nice!

Same people have no problem emailing you to let you know they've booked flights (without even checking the dates with you) and cant wait to come and see you (stay with you!)

Yeah. When I lived in NYC there was no shortage of people eager to travel 2000 miles to see me, yet I knew if I lived in Iowa somehow I would not be so beloved.

Now when I visit Ireland I sometimes don't even other telling people I'm there, I know too well what your talking about.

Although it not an ex pat, so it might feel a bit different. Have lots of technically family there though who don't bother their asses when Im over.

Zebra3 · 03-12-2013 09:01AM

Immigrants come to Ireland, but we send expats abroad? :rolleyes:

mannika · 03-12-2013 09:07AM

Zebra3 wrote: »

Immigrants come to Ireland, but we send expats abroad? :rolleyes:

An expatriate (sometimes shortened to expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country other than that of the person's upbringing. The word comes from the Latin terms ex ("out of") and patria ("country, fatherland").

Sunnyisland · 03-12-2013 09:35AM

It's great to welcome anyone who has been away from home, IMO anyway.

Balmed Out · 03-12-2013 09:38AM

I think its different when people have kids, hard to plan for what can go wrong.

AnonoBoy · 03-12-2013 09:46AM

Sorry to be the one to tell you this OP but they had a meeting and all decided to ignore you when you got home this year.

They're bored of your stories.

"It's all Dubai this, Dubai that..... Why doesn't he marry Dubai if he loves it so much?"

mannika · 03-12-2013 02:18PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Sorry to be the one to tell you this OP but they had a meeting and all decided to ignore you when you got home this year.

They're bored of your stories.

"It's all Dubai this, Dubai that..... Why doesn't he marry Dubai if he loves it so much?"

If only that were legal! all the good stuff is banned!

anncoates · 03-12-2013 02:19PM

mannika wrote: »

Does it get on your nerves when people can't get off their ass and come even half way to see you when you get home once a year????

Will I tell you or will somebody else......

FTA69 · 03-12-2013 02:50PM

The fact is that emigrating is a choice you alone made. When you choose to live in a different country then that will undoubtedly change the relationships you have previously had with friends and family. Any genuine friends you will retain, but at the same time there is no onus for them to bend over backwards to accommodate you when you decide to return home every once and a while. People have jobs, families and other responsibilities that they often can't drop just because you want to pop back for a weekend on the lash.

In other words, the world doesn't revolve around you simply because you emigrated.

Mint Aero · 03-12-2013 03:03PM

I don't mind as long as they don't make a big deal about their return :rolleyes:
I haven't visited any of my mates abroad cos lets face why would I want to?

FTA69 · 03-12-2013 03:09PM

Mint Aero wrote: »

I haven't visited any of my mates abroad cos lets face why would I want to?

Because visiting places like New York, London and Australia is a good experience and generally great craic?

Mint Aero · 03-12-2013 03:20PM

FTA69 wrote: »

Because visiting places like New York, London and Australia is a good experience and generally great craic?

Yeah?

I know that?

what's that got to do with my stupid mates?

FTA69 · 03-12-2013 03:57PM

Because enjoying yourself with your mates in a new city may also be fun?

mannika · 03-12-2013 05:28PM

FTA69 wrote: »

The fact is that emigrating is a choice you alone made. When you choose to live in a different country then that will undoubtedly change the relationships you have previously had with friends and family. Any genuine friends you will retain, but at the same time there is no onus for them to bend over backwards to accommodate you when you decide to return home every once and a while. People have jobs, families and other responsibilities that they often can't drop just because you want to pop back for a weekend on the lash.

In other words, the world doesn't revolve around you simply because you emigrated.

I made it pretty clear I don't expect people to drop everything and come running when I come home. Thanks for letting me know I should have stayed at home on the dole rather than 'choosing' to leave.

Holsten · 03-12-2013 05:39PM

I wouldn't class them as friends.

How often would you talk to them? I know people who say they miss their "best" friends, who never contact them from one year to the next and are busy when they get back.

These people are not friends.

mannika · 03-12-2013 05:43PM

Holsten wrote: »

I wouldn't class them as friends.

How often would you talk to them? I know people who say they miss their "best" friends, who never contact them from one year to the next and are busy when they get back.

These people are not friends.

Whatsapp most weeks emails/ every month. Not talking about randomers I wouldn't see year to year anyway.

mannika · 03-12-2013 05:50PM

I do my living best to not be the pratt coming home annoying people to meet up, what gets to me is the 'Ooo what time will you get to my place?' I'm not talking about people with kids or families or expecting people to take time off work.

BraziliaNZ · 03-12-2013 05:51PM

Yeah, people have lives to get on with, families etc. Their mate coming home for a bit isn't going to stop their world. I'm happy if people come meet me for a pint but if they can't make it it's understandable.

mannika · 03-12-2013 06:01PM

Ok example just been asked if can swing by Athlone on my way Limerick (& Cork) from Dublin?

Daqster · 03-12-2013 06:05PM

Oh don't talk to me. My brother came home last Christmas from New York and we couldn't have been nicer to him at the airport, we said:

"Welcome home Paddy, you mad bastard, what's the craic?'"

Sure what does yer man say back but:

"I'm Nathan now actually, never liked my name, too Irish".

Fecking Ex-Pats eh.

D1stant · 03-12-2013 06:16PM

Daqster wrote: »

Oh don't talk to me. My brother came home last Christmas from New York and we couldn't have been nicer to him at the airport, we said:

"Welcome home Paddy, you mad bastard, what's the craic?'"

Sure what does yer man say back but:

"I'm Nathan now actually, never liked my name, too Irish".

Fecking Ex-Pats eh.

Nathan Mac Giolla Ruadh. Hmm sounds Egyptian or something :cool:

DEFTLEFTHAND · 03-12-2013 06:20PM

With some 'friends' it's out of sight out of mind I'm afraid. It's amazing how quickly people will forget about you. I'm guilty of this, I don't make any effort really with people I know abroad. It's something I need to try and change because I do miss most of them. :pac:

my teapot is orange · 03-12-2013 06:27PM

Do you maintain the friendship from abroad OP, like with texts, phone, email, social media etc. and do they?

I'd find it odd if someone you were regularly in contact with made no effort on the rare occasion you're home, but I'm not sure what I'd expect from someone who doesn't hear from you from one end of the year to the other. Hard to know.

Daqster · 03-12-2013 06:29PM

Sally O'Brien was an awful woman for the expats coming home.

Timmyctc · 03-12-2013 06:30PM

I think the problem lies in the fact you refer to yourself as an Expat. I fupping hate that word and would never visit a friend who called himself such :pac:

Expats visiting home!

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