Expats visiting home!

HansHolzel

Daqster wrote: »

"I'm Nathan now actually, never liked my name, too Irish".

You're nuthin now, Nathan, gtfo

Eileen Down

We have a rule in our house for visitors: If you don't visit us during the winter, then you can't visit us during the summer.
Of course my family take no notice of anything I say.

Legs.Eleven

I usually have the opposite issue of having to keep my often short visits on the QT as friends will want to meet up. Hard to explain to them that I'm only home for a short time and home just to see my family. Xmas time is a big catch up session with everyone.


/thinly veiled "I'm so bloody popular it's ruining my life!!" thread.

mannika

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I usually have the opposite issue of having to keep my often short visits on the QT as friends will want to meet up. Hard to explain to them that I'm only home for a short time and home just to see my family. Xmas time is a big catch up session with everyone.


/thinly veiled "I'm so bloody popular it's ruining my life!!" thread.

Damn you caught me!

lufties

mannika wrote: »

Does it get on your nerves when people can't get off their ass and come even half way to see you when you get home once a year???? Yeah i know the sun doesn't shine out of my ass and people can't just drop everything but seriously with 6 months notice a little effort would be nice!

Same people have no problem emailing you to let you know they've booked flights (without even checking the dates with you) and cant wait to come and see you (stay with you!)

Its begrudgery.

Gott

FTA69 wrote: »

The fact is that emigrating is a choice you alone made. When you choose to live in a different country then that will undoubtedly change the relationships you have previously had with friends and family. Any genuine friends you will retain, but at the same time there is no onus for them to bend over backwards to accommodate you when you decide to return home every once and a while. People have jobs, families and other responsibilities that they often can't drop just because you want to pop back for a weekend on the lash.

In other words, the world doesn't revolve around you simply because you emigrated.

This. I come back from Edinburgh (not Australia but I'm not home frequently anyway) to find things have changed and it is unreasonable to expect that people will even be the same as when you left, let alone they'll drop everything and come meet you. You change when you're away, so do the people at home.
If they're proper friends they'll make the effort and come, even if they have to squeeze it in around work or whatever.

If not, then maybe you're as well not keep in contact with them.

mannika

I think i have repeated myself enough times saying i am in regular contact with these people (whatsapp, skype, email even a book club!) and i don't expect them to drop everything (6 months notice is hardly drop everything the queen is coming mentality) and I am well aware they don't live in a box while I am gone, neither do I! I was annoyed when i started this thread as having planned to drive the length of the country to see people that cant travel to see me i asked two people to travel 20 mins to their nearest town and they won't (not for work or family reasons) 'if i can get out to them it would be great though' I'm not going to ditch them because they aren't going to see me in all honestly I don't think they realise. I have only myself to blame I have done this for years even before i left home as i was one of the first to get driving so i traveled all over the shop to see people. I would just like the favour to be returned, anyway you don't give to receive. Thanks for the opinions. As someone that has left i would like to say i don't devalue my friendships by location and i think its sad that if you think people leave you shouldn't bother with them or not make an effort when you can. If i hear anyone from my home town or family of friends are out here for hols i try and meet them and show them around a bit.

keithclancy

I don't really make a big deal about visiting Ireland, will stick it up on Facebook and if anyone wants to meetup then that's cool.

I rent a car and make my own way around visiting family and meeting up with friends if their off.

Expecting people to do things will only leave you disappointed and really you are just comparing them to what you think you would do, which doesn't really work because they are not you.

Ireland is grand for a week or so, but after that I start missing my friends, the dog and my gaff and just want to get back home (living out of a bag doesn't really help)

April O Neill II

mannika wrote: »

I made it pretty clear I don't expect people to drop everything and come running when I come home. Thanks for letting me know I should have stayed at home on the dole rather than 'choosing' to leave.

We know moving abroad might not have been your choice, but sadly friendships often drift when someone has been away. I went to the UK to work after college out of necessity for a year, and had missed out on so much that some of my friendships were irreparably damaged.

April O Neill II

mannika wrote: »

I think i have repeated myself enough times saying i am in regular contact with these people (whatsapp, skype, email even a book club!) and i don't expect them to drop everything (6 months notice is hardly drop everything the queen is coming mentality) and I am well aware they don't live in a box while I am gone, neither do I! I was annoyed when i started this thread as having planned to drive the length of the country to see people that cant travel to see me i asked two people to travel 20 mins to their nearest town and they won't (not for work or family reasons) 'if i can get out to them it would be great though' I'm not going to ditch them because they aren't going to see me in all honestly I don't think they realise. I have only myself to blame I have done this for years even before i left home as i was one of the first to get driving so i traveled all over the shop to see people. I would just like the favour to be returned, anyway you don't give to receive. Thanks for the opinions. As someone that has left i would like to say i don't devalue my friendships by location and i think its sad that if you think people leave you shouldn't bother with them or not make an effort when you can. If i hear anyone from my home town or family of friends are out here for hols i try and meet them and show them around a bit.

Well, the issue here is that you've probably always been a bit of a pushover down the years, and its only now you realise this now that you only have limited time to see everyone!