Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Tetra · 14-11-2013 01:19AM

"Reading a steampunk book this has to be the funniest thing I have ever read:

"The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?”
“Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have,” she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand, “a sort of dangly sausage—lacks tailoring.”

Tetra · 14-11-2013 01:23AM

"What kind of government did you democrats vote nto office?
We got veterans starving and unable to get help.
Meanwhile, welfare and food stamps, and even amnesty is being given to aliens who have come here unlawfully?
Millions and even billions of dollars, weapons, and support being sent to Muslims who are killing our soldiers.
Wth democrats? Huh?
Explain this ****!"

14-11-2013 01:31AM

Pherekydes wrote: »

This cretin did foundation level English in his LC, yet he still thinks he got an honour.

I can't find any foundation level english past papers.

wnolan1992 · 14-11-2013 09:35AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I can't find any foundation level english past papers.

There's no papers. The students are presented with a blank sheet of paper and are left alone for 2 and a half hours.

The papers are then collected.

If a student has written one word of intelligible English after their fourteen years in education, they get an A.

bohsboy · 14-11-2013 12:27PM

wnolan1992 wrote: »

If a student has written one word of intelligible English after their fourteen years in education, they get an A.

That's a bit cruel.

14-11-2013 01:36PM

bohsboy wrote: »

That's a bit cruel.

You're right, it's an awful lot to expect from them.

petes · 14-11-2013 02:25PM

I know the 'Full time mammy' bit has been done but just saw this one:

'Full time mam and wife

at Full Time Mummy and Mam at full time mammy to my 2 babys ♥'

beakerjoe · 14-11-2013 02:26PM

petes wrote: »

I know the 'Full time mammy' bit has been done but just saw this one:

'Full time mam and wife at Full Time Mummy and Mam at full time mammy to my 2 babys ♥'

What?

Super-Rush · 14-11-2013 02:41PM

From last night.

Someone rode a Honda 50 thru supermacs window

This was in Tullamore btw.

Muise... · 14-11-2013 02:44PM

petes wrote: »

I know the 'Full time mammy' bit has been done but just saw this one:

'Full time mam and wife at Full Time Mummy and Mam at full time mammy to my 2 babys ♥'

is this a profile of a Russian doll?

MurdyWurdy · 14-11-2013 02:50PM

petes wrote: »

I know the 'Full time mammy' bit has been done but just saw this one:

'Full time mam and wife at Full Time Mummy and Mam at full time mammy to my 2 babys ♥'

Mammyception

beakerjoe · 14-11-2013 02:50PM

I know Ive mentioned my Roy Keane loving ex manager before, who regularly posts about how much of a legend Roy is. Well this morning he posted about how "his favourite thing is to walk in the rain" to which i replied "Lies, surely sucking Roy off makes you happier". Needless to say he wasn't happy. Oh well

Festy · 14-11-2013 02:53PM

petes wrote: »

I know the 'Full time mammy' bit has been done but just saw this one:

'Full time mam and wife at Full Time Mummy and Mam at full time mammy to my 2 babys ♥'

More like

Full-Time lying on your back

Newaglish · 14-11-2013 03:01PM

petes wrote: »

I know the 'Full time mammy' bit has been done but just saw this one:

'Full time mam and wife at Full Time Mummy and Mam at full time mammy to my 2 babys ♥'

I think what irritates me the most is that I knew how to pluralise a word ending with the letter 'y' when I was about five years old. How the hell do people get this wrong?!

wnolan1992 · 14-11-2013 06:00PM

bohsboy wrote: »

That's a bit cruel.

Be grand, shur none of them can read this anyway...

:pac:

Sorry, couldn't resist that one.

Voodoomelon · 15-11-2013 02:51PM

Girl 1 (OP)
I still ask the age old question..why do bad things happen to good people?

Girl 2
Because usually they r strong enough to get through it:)

Girl 3
Hope everything is ok hun

Girl 4
Still its not fair, even if u know u aint bad, and u dont deserve it, still cuts that peeps think so lowly of u...but then u just gotta get back up and DANCE!!!

Girl 5
Its no wonder we all STILL love you and miss you, you always found positives no matter how hard the negs tried to bring u down!! LEGENDARY AND UNFORGETTABLE xxxxx

Girl 1 (OP)
Thanks for the positive energy girls! ️

Ugh.

beakerjoe · 15-11-2013 03:53PM

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Girl 1 (OP)
I still ask the age old question..why do bad things happen to good people?

Girl 2
Because usually they r strong enough to get through it:)

Girl 3
Hope everything is ok hun

Girl 4
Still its not fair, even if u know u aint bad, and u dont deserve it, still cuts that peeps think so lowly of u...but then u just gotta get back up and DANCE!!!

Girl 5
Its no wonder we all STILL love you and miss you, you always found positives no matter how hard the negs tried to bring u down!! LEGENDARY AND UNFORGETTABLE xxxxx

Girl 1 (OP)
Thanks for the positive energy girls! ️

Ugh.

Lemmings

Billy86 · 15-11-2013 04:12PM

I'd probably have to chime in and remind her that you don't get to judge yourself... that's for others to do.

I hate when people say "I'm not a b1tch, everyone just thinks I am" or "I'm not bossy/annoying/etc/etc... people just think I am". The fact that everyone thinks that about you should tell you something!

kunst nugget · 15-11-2013 04:13PM

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Girl 1 (OP)
I still ask the age old question..why do bad things happen to good people?

This one bugs me. Bad sh¡t's generally an equal opportunities employer so bad things happen to everyone. I'm guessing if she's posting about it on facebook it's something stupid like she got a flat tyre or her boyfriend of 5 weeks broke it off with her and nothing something more sinister or serious. To which I reply: Stop playing a victim and a saint and suck it up, beeeee-atch!

Plazaman · 15-11-2013 04:20PM

Probably posted already but I ain't got time to read 400+ pages. I do love the statuses, one of which I read recently that go something like :

Girl had ovarian cancer and was told she would die if the final operation didn't go well. She cried and cried with her boyfriend the night before and he said I'm here for you babes. When she woke up after operation, doctor told her all went well and that she'd live. She asked her Mum where was her boyfriend but she just cried and told her he had donated his ovaries to her and was dead. Like if you have a great boyfriend.

Obviously you have to imagine that paragraph in text speak, more atriously worded and interspersed with a lot of this shít ♥♥♥♥✿✿✿✿☀☀☀☺☺☺☺☺ツツツ★★

Billy86 · 15-11-2013 04:23PM

Not a chance I'd ever give my ovaries to anyone!

beakerjoe · 15-11-2013 04:25PM

Plazaman wrote: »

Probably posted already but I ain't got time to read 400+ pages. I do love the statuses, one of which I read recently that go something like :

Girl had ovarian cancer and was told she would die if the final operation didn't go well. She cried and cried with her boyfriend the night before and he said I'm here for you babes. When she woke up after operation, doctor told her all went well and that she'd live. She asked her Mum where was her boyfriend but she just cried and told her he had donated his ovaries to her and was dead. Like if you have a great boyfriend.

Obviously you have to imagine that paragraph in text speak, more atriously worded and interspersed with a lot of this shít ♥♥♥♥✿✿✿✿☀☀☀☺☺☺☺☺ツツツ★★

I feel sorry for people who believe these stories.

wandatowell · 15-11-2013 04:28PM

I donated my ovaries to my great grand mother so she could have my grandfather

kunst nugget · 15-11-2013 04:29PM

beakerjoe wrote: »

I feel sorry for people who believe these stories.

I feel sorry for men that have ovaries. Imagine not being able to pump iron and do general manly stuff because you've got menstrual cramps.

kunst nugget · 15-11-2013 04:31PM

wandatowell wrote: »

I donated my ovaries to my great grand mother so she could have my grandfather

Incestion, the new film with Leonardo DiCaprio…

LOSTfan57 · 15-11-2013 04:39PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Incestion, the new film with Leonardo DiCaprio…

Might be the one to get him his Oscar

Festy · 15-11-2013 09:42PM

Here's a few gems all from the same gob****e ofc

I hope ta have my tattoo of my nickname #shaggyboii done by the new year cant wait get it done ****in buzzin for it

They say sex is good for the heart and they say how person moves ön dancefloor tell how good and fit they can be in the bedroom when get down ta doing the business if that the case the way i keep my self in shape and move on dancefloor makes me ****in #batman in the bedroom just sayin #amen

Just let people no am not in a relatinship with anyone just women acting bolox the day u see going with a girl is the day u see me the buzzer gone softed and whiped and ladies and gentlemen that never going happen live your life and **** the bitches

MurdyWurdy · 15-11-2013 10:02PM

My husband recently emailed a photo of our baby eating solids to his Dad and aunts. We have no problem with the odd photo of the baby on facebook as we have friends and family all over the world and it's nice to keep them up to date. However, we did not want to put photos of our son eating on Facebook as nobody wants to see that but close family. So we decided to send it off in a quick email.

His aunt forwarded it to his cousin who promptly put the photo straight up on facebook, tagging us both. Why on earth she thought that was ok is beyond me, if we wanted to put it up we would have done it ourselves.

Anyway, my husband sent her a polite, chatty email and at the end asked her not to put photos up of the baby without asking us as we didn't want to inundate our friends with lots of photos.

Half an hour later she posted this status:

OI VAY! you get some real drama queens out there!!!!!

I wonder who that was aimed at?

*sigh*

coolhull · 15-11-2013 10:09PM

Festy wrote: »

Here's a few gems all from the same gob****e ofc

Just let people no am not in a relatinship with anyone just women acting bolox the day u see going with a girl is the day u see me the buzzer gone softed and whiped and ladies and gentlemen that never going happen live your life and **** the bitches

This clown would be a great catch for any woman.....ahem :rolleyes:

Voodoomelon · 15-11-2013 10:21PM

beakerjoe wrote: »

Lemmings

They're all in Australia and in their mid twenties. Looks like the writing of a group of 16 year olds.

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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