How do I become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me?

RedFormanFITA · 20-10-2013 10:01pm #1

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Ihatecuddles-old · 20-10-2013 10:03pm

Nice works

Only man I've ever had feelings for was the sweetest guy I've ever met!

Being a bastard will not help anything!

ballsymchugh · 20-10-2013 10:03pm

any excuse to post IT crowd stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIOIHgbAr7w

Pushtrak · 20-10-2013 10:04pm

Judging by your OP...

1) Go to sleep, and have nice dreams (if you are lucky)
2) Get a new personality.
3) Nothing right now, I'll get back to you.

SweepTheLeg · 20-10-2013 10:05pm

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Be good looking. Doesn't matter if you're a good/bad guy. Just be very attractive.

Corkbah · 20-10-2013 10:05pm

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

easy ... become a drug dealer or multi millionaire

you'd get different types of women ...but you'd still be a b&stard and those types of women would "worship" you (for your money/drugs)

_Redzer_ · 20-10-2013 10:06pm

Oh great, another one of these.

Grow a pair of balls. I hear women like that in a man

Radiosonde · 20-10-2013 10:07pm

If you want advice from guys knee deep in beautiful women, then coming to AH on a Sunday night was a good start...

Ten of Swords · 20-10-2013 10:07pm

Buy a nice car, worked for this guy...

Tombi! · 20-10-2013 10:12pm

Tip one: women aren't a hivemind.
Tip two: meet women that like you for you
Tip three: I have none. First two tips helped me just fine.

TheBegotten · 20-10-2013 10:15pm

Try ****ing a cactus. You'd be suprised how much you'll value women after that.

Wattle · 20-10-2013 10:19pm

Take some advice from Tony Montana my little friend.

El_Dangeroso · 20-10-2013 10:21pm

It's not 'nice' guys who end up in the friend zone, it's passive guys.

As in if you like someone romantically, say so upfront, as soon as you know your own feelings. If you don't get the desire reciprocation, you can then decide if friendship is something you want with this person or move on with your life.

People end up in the 'friend-zone' because they usually did nothing to get out of it in the first instance.

Shakespeare's Sister · 20-10-2013 10:25pm

Work on your confidence - feeling happy within yourself is the most important thing to aim for; attracting people comes after that.

Only silly women go for "bad boys" - and lots of those women grow out of it. Their attraction to a guy who treats them like **** is more to do with their lack of self-worth than the actual guy too. Or else his "bad boy" tendencies aren't obvious initially, and it's his general easygoing nature due to being comfortable within himself which draws the women.

That and his massive schlong.

Fr_Dougal · 20-10-2013 10:30pm

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Right so. There are different levels of bastardom, all depends on what sort of psychologically damaged girl you want to go for. Being a bastard will help you attract some great looking women alright, but they'll have issues and ultimately they'll wreck your head. What tickles your fancy?

Foxhound38 · 20-10-2013 10:39pm

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Women aren't a machine you can put "nice" tokens into until sex comes out. It's not how these things work

Lando Griffin · 20-10-2013 10:40pm

When out on a night and chatting a woman have a box of 20 Marlboro ( not lights ) rolled into the sleeve of a white tee shirt.
Be able to flick said cigarette into your mouth.
Click your zippo on the leg of your jeans and as you blow the smoke into your womans face slap her on the ass and order her to get another drink at the bar.
Worked for my da.

Stone Deaf 4evr · 20-10-2013 10:44pm

Lando Griffin wrote: »

When out on a night and chatting a woman have a box of 20 Marlboro ( not lights ) rolled into the sleeve of a white tee shirt.
Be able to flick said cigarette into your mouth.
Click your zippo on the leg of your jeans and as you blow the smoke into your womans face slap her on the ass and order her to get another drink at the bar.
Worked for my da.

Your da was the fonze?

Lando Griffin · 20-10-2013 10:48pm

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

Your da was the fonze?

Ehhhhh with tash and lamb chops.

20-10-2013 10:51pm

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Ehhhhh with tash and lamb chops.

Your da was Pat Mustard?

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 20-10-2013 10:51pm

Radiosonde wrote: »

If you want advice from guys knee deep in beautiful women, then coming to AH on a Sunday night was a good start...

The over powering smell of clunge off the people of AH's is a true phenomenon.

The above statement is false.

Tip number 1. Don't use the word clunge.

creep · 20-10-2013 10:52pm

This usually works for me

gctest50 · 20-10-2013 10:57pm

Foxhound38 wrote: »

Women aren't a machine you can put "nice" tokens into until sex comes out. It's not how these things work

Enough tokens

RedFormanFITA · 20-10-2013 11:37pm

ballsymchugh wrote: »

any excuse to post IT crowd stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIOIHgbAr7w

Guilty as charged, m'lud.

Richard Hillman · 20-10-2013 11:40pm

Buy a leather jacket, a motorbike and play by your own rules.

shrewd · 20-10-2013 11:55pm

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

It's not 'nice' guys who end up in the friend zone, it's passive guys.

As in if you like someone romantically, say so upfront, as soon as you know your own feelings. If you don't get the desire reciprocation, you can then decide if friendship is something you want with this person or move on with your life.

People end up in the 'friend-zone' because they usually did nothing to get out of it in the first instance.

Well said. i wish i got this advice years ago. it took a couple of experiments but i can confidently say this advice is true and legendary

Elmer Blooker · 20-10-2013 11:56pm

for starters try to look like this and make it up as you go along,I'm just out of rehab/prison, I'm in a band or "gettin' a band together maaaan" blah blah blah. They'll be queueing up!
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=pete+doherty+pics+drugs&client=safari&sa=X&rls=en&biw=1283&bih=648&tbm=isch&tbnid=endEhB74zBDtGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.holymoly.com/celebrity/news/pete-doherty-says-hes-getting-drugs-was-sick-eurostar62548&docid=jbGT0u5Cz7o-mM&imgurl=http://www.holymoly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/mobile_450/getty_t_petedoherty_birthday3_0.jpeg&w=450&h=568&ei=gF1kUuvcGYnxhQfFn4GoCA&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:20,s:0,i:150&iact=rc&page=2&tbnh=192&tbnw=151&start=20&ndsp=26&tx=76&ty=86

pharmaton · 20-10-2013 11:59pm

I know too much

21-10-2013 12:00am

Most men are nice.

What else are you? Interesting? Attractive? Funny? Engaging company? If you want to stand out or be different you have to be something as well as nice, nice is everywhere and the very least most people expect in someone else.

Would a girl just being 'nice' be enough for you? Or would you prefer a girl who is nice AND attractive, nice AND interesting?

Why do self-proclaimed 'nice guys' always think the answer is being a bastard? Maybe because it's easier to be a bastard than it is to work on other aspects of yourself.

lkionm · 21-10-2013 12:05am

Just be nice, fun, and sound.

You will be fine as long as you are attractive.

anncoates · 21-10-2013 12:10am

You're confusing being nice with being a hand wringing student wanker that chats earnestly about periods and misogyny with women.

How do I become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me?

Comments