How do I become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me?

RedFormanFITA

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Ihatecuddles-old

Nice works Only man I've ever had feelings for was the sweetest guy I've ever met!

Being a bastard will not help anything!

ballsymchugh

any excuse to post IT crowd stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIOIHgbAr7w

Pushtrak

Judging by your OP...

1) Go to sleep, and have nice dreams (if you are lucky)
2) Get a new personality.
3) Nothing right now, I'll get back to you.

SweepTheLeg

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Be good looking. Doesn't matter if you're a good/bad guy. Just be very attractive.

Corkbah

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

easy ... become a drug dealer or multi millionaire

you'd get different types of women ...but you'd still be a b&stard and those types of women would "worship" you (for your money/drugs)

_Redzer_

Oh great, another one of these.

Grow a pair of balls. I hear women like that in a man

Radiosonde

If you want advice from guys knee deep in beautiful women, then coming to AH on a Sunday night was a good start...

Ten of Swords

Buy a nice car, worked for this guy...

Tombi!

Tip one: women aren't a hivemind.
Tip two: meet women that like you for you
Tip three: I have none. First two tips helped me just fine.

TheBegotten

Try ****ing a cactus. You'd be suprised how much you'll value women after that.

Wattle

Take some advice from Tony Montana my little friend.

El_Dangeroso

It's not 'nice' guys who end up in the friend zone, it's passive guys.

As in if you like someone romantically, say so upfront, as soon as you know your own feelings. If you don't get the desire reciprocation, you can then decide if friendship is something you want with this person or move on with your life.

People end up in the 'friend-zone' because they usually did nothing to get out of it in the first instance.

Shakespeare's Sister

Work on your confidence - feeling happy within yourself is the most important thing to aim for; attracting people comes after that.

Only silly women go for "bad boys" - and lots of those women grow out of it. Their attraction to a guy who treats them like **** is more to do with their lack of self-worth than the actual guy too. Or else his "bad boy" tendencies aren't obvious initially, and it's his general easygoing nature due to being comfortable within himself which draws the women.

That and his massive schlong.

Fr_Dougal

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Right so. There are different levels of bastardom, all depends on what sort of psychologically damaged girl you want to go for. Being a bastard will help you attract some great looking women alright, but they'll have issues and ultimately they'll wreck your head. What tickles your fancy?

Foxhound38

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Women aren't a machine you can put "nice" tokens into until sex comes out. It's not how these things work

Lando Griffin

When out on a night and chatting a woman have a box of 20 Marlboro ( not lights ) rolled into the sleeve of a white tee shirt.
Be able to flick said cigarette into your mouth.
Click your zippo on the leg of your jeans and as you blow the smoke into your womans face slap her on the ass and order her to get another drink at the bar.
Worked for my da.

Stone Deaf 4evr

Lando Griffin wrote: »

When out on a night and chatting a woman have a box of 20 Marlboro ( not lights ) rolled into the sleeve of a white tee shirt.
Be able to flick said cigarette into your mouth.
Click your zippo on the leg of your jeans and as you blow the smoke into your womans face slap her on the ass and order her to get another drink at the bar.
Worked for my da.

Your da was the fonze?

Lando Griffin

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

Your da was the fonze?

Ehhhhh with tash and lamb chops.

Lando Griffin

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Ehhhhh with tash and lamb chops.

Your da was Pat Mustard?

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

Radiosonde wrote: »

If you want advice from guys knee deep in beautiful women, then coming to AH on a Sunday night was a good start...

The over powering smell of clunge off the people of AH's is a true phenomenon.

The above statement is false.

Tip number 1. Don't use the word clunge.

creep

This usually works for me

gctest50

Foxhound38 wrote: »

Women aren't a machine you can put "nice" tokens into until sex comes out. It's not how these things work

Enough tokens

RedFormanFITA

ballsymchugh wrote: »

any excuse to post IT crowd stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIOIHgbAr7w

Guilty as charged, m'lud.

Richard Hillman

Buy a leather jacket, a motorbike and play by your own rules.

shrewd

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

It's not 'nice' guys who end up in the friend zone, it's passive guys.

As in if you like someone romantically, say so upfront, as soon as you know your own feelings. If you don't get the desire reciprocation, you can then decide if friendship is something you want with this person or move on with your life.

People end up in the 'friend-zone' because they usually did nothing to get out of it in the first instance.

Well said. i wish i got this advice years ago. it took a couple of experiments but i can confidently say this advice is true and legendary

Elmer Blooker

for starters try to look like this and make it up as you go along,I'm just out of rehab/prison, I'm in a band or "gettin' a band together maaaan" blah blah blah. They'll be queueing up!
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=pete+doherty+pics+drugs&client=safari&sa=X&rls=en&biw=1283&bih=648&tbm=isch&tbnid=endEhB74zBDtGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.holymoly.com/celebrity/news/pete-doherty-says-hes-getting-drugs-was-sick-eurostar62548&docid=jbGT0u5Cz7o-mM&imgurl=http://www.holymoly.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/mobile_450/getty_t_petedoherty_birthday3_0.jpeg&w=450&h=568&ei=gF1kUuvcGYnxhQfFn4GoCA&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:20,s:0,i:150&iact=rc&page=2&tbnh=192&tbnw=151&start=20&ndsp=26&tx=76&ty=86

pharmaton

I know too much

Most men are nice.

What else are you? Interesting? Attractive? Funny? Engaging company? If you want to stand out or be different you have to be something as well as nice, nice is everywhere and the very least most people expect in someone else.

Would a girl just being 'nice' be enough for you? Or would you prefer a girl who is nice AND attractive, nice AND interesting?

Why do self-proclaimed 'nice guys' always think the answer is being a bastard? Maybe because it's easier to be a bastard than it is to work on other aspects of yourself.

lkionm

Just be nice, fun, and sound.

You will be fine as long as you are attractive.

anncoates

You're confusing being nice with being a hand wringing student wanker that chats earnestly about periods and misogyny with women.

Icaras

You poor fool. Women dont like bas tards anymore, they like depressed pale weirdo's. Watch twilight and copy everything the main guy does. You should score a bird into necrophilia and bestiality (kinky).

WellThen?

I don't care what anyone says, being a bit of a pri*k helps catch birds. That way when they do something nice , you feel like they're doing you a favour. It is TERRIBLE, but true.

Wattle

Being a depressed pale weirdo works but only if you're a good looking depressed pale weirdo.

old_aussie

Nice guys finish last.........just what a woman likes.

Amirani

Icaras wrote: »

You poor fool. Women dont like bas tards anymore, they like depressed pale weirdo's. Watch twilight and copy everything the main guy does. You should score a bird into necrophilia and bestiality (kinky).

Is there not a decent chance of that causing your own death or at the very least you being stuck in a threesome with a dog?

grohlisagod

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

It's not 'nice' guys who end up in the friend zone, it's passive guys.

As in if you like someone romantically, say so upfront, as soon as you know your own feelings. If you don't get the desire reciprocation, you can then decide if friendship is something you want with this person or move on with your life.

People end up in the 'friend-zone' because they usually did nothing to get out of it in the first instance.

Nail on the head. Speaking as a "passive guy".

seenitall

grohlisagod wrote: »

Nail on the head. Speaking as a "passive guy".

Is someone getting the best of you?

beano345

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

It's not 'nice' guys who end up in the friend zone, it's passive guys.

As in if you like someone romantically, say so upfront, as soon as you know your own feelings. If you don't get the desire reciprocation, you can then decide if friendship is something you want with this person or move on with your life.

People end up in the 'friend-zone' because they usually did nothing to get out of it in the first instance.

i never bought into this internet hype bad guy/nice guy thing, if their sound thats ok its reciprocated, if not ...march on

Adamantium

You're doing fine OP :P

Barbara, that's excellent!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Objn0IiL9o

dgt

Be fashionably late, ladies love that, they hate men who come early....

policarp

My left foot.

RedFormanFITA

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Have you tried just being you without trying to be whatever you think girls want?

Whether you are a nice guy or a complete - what the OP title said - just try being YOU.

I reckon most girls appreciate a guy for who they actually are rather than who they are acting out to get to the "end zone".

And in my life the best sex i have had has always been when girls have had sex with ME and not some image of me I managed to sell them.

Id rather have sex once a decade with a girl who wants to sleep with me rather than have sex once a week with a girl who sleeps with a lie.

But more often than not I realise: Thats just me

MonaPizza

RedFormanFITA wrote: »

As the title suggests, I want to know your top 5 or top 10 ways to become a complete bas*ard and get women to worship me. Let's cut to the chase here, nice doesn't work, it doesn't get you laid or anything else. You just end up in the 'friend' zone and get told you are a really nice guy but.... So what does?

Stop being a mucker for starters.
Mollies like Dubs....even scummy Dubs. Letterkenny **** haven't a hope.

Back to your trawler, Donegal boy. And be thankful.

Mickey Dazzler

Walk into a packed and bar and very obviously put your hand down the back of your jeans and insert one digit into your anus. Remove said digit, bring it to your nose, inhale deeply and smile broadly. Identify the most beautiful girl at the bar and run straight at her and poke her in the eye with said finger shouting "Now ye have pink eye ye dozy tart".

stateofflux

i think some people confuse being assertive, self confident and not needy with being a bastard

gramar

Deleted User wrote: »

Your da was Pat Mustard?

Were you a hairy baby?

keeponhurling

From the very first conversation play hard to get, women love a challenge.
Tell them that you wouldn't do them in a million years.

That gives them a serious challenge, which they should relish

Asking the question on AH is the first step..........

Savoir.Faire

One shouldn't have to resort to being a bastard to attract a woman whose attractions catch your eye. But being a shrinking violet around the more dangerous sex isn't going to work either. Faint heart never won fair lady.

Be self-confident, friendly, engaging and open to truly exploring the myriad mysteries of the female mind. Don't over-do the humility thing either. A good personality is extremely attractive to both men and women. Telling her about your favourite computer game isn't going to cut it. Keep abreast of topics relating to literature, history, current affairs, politics and philosophy.

Appearance is also very important. Some people are dealt a cruel hand of cards in this regards, but there isn't anyone who can't be polished up slightly through good grooming and a grounding in the essentials of sartorialism.

So more: shaving foam, visits to a good barber, a classic aftershave, a tailored shirt, good shoes and regular appointments with a dentist.

And less: bootcut jeans, short sleeve shirts, skater style runners, halitosis, Bulmers Belly, Lynx deodorant and gurning at the bar.

Procasinator

Savoir.Faire wrote: »

Keep abreast of topics relating to literature, history, current affairs, politics and philosophy.

That really depends on the where and when and age groups. He shouldn't be approaching girls in bars/nightclubs hoping to talk about politics. He'd probably get more mileage with pop-culture knowledge than more high-brow topics on a typical night out.