Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

The Cooking Disaster Thread

Options
12357…14

Comments

  • Options
    #122
    Dizzyblonde
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,108 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    I made a courgette loaf this afternoon, to use up the last of my courgettes from the garden.
    It has to be the most vile thing I've ever made - truly sick-making.
    I used this recipe.


  • Options
    #123
    MissFlitworth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,057 ✭✭✭MissFlitworth


    Dizzyblonde wrote: »
    I made a courgette loaf this afternoon, to use up the last of my courgettes from the garden.
    It has to be the most vile thing I've ever made - truly sick-making.
    I used this recipe.

    Oh no :( How so? Taste or texture?


  • Options
    #124
    Dizzyblonde
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,108 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    MissFlitworth wrote: »
    Oh no :( How so? Taste or texture?

    Both. It was overly moist in spite of the fact that I wrung out the grated courgettes in a cloth. And the taste was icky.

    I've since seen a Nigel Slater recipe with only 150g of courgettes (that one had 350g), I may try that one when I recover from the trauma :(


  • Options
    #125
    MissFlitworth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,057 ✭✭✭MissFlitworth


    Yuck, not much out there more gross than unexpectedly wet food.


  • Options
    #126
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Dizzyblonde wrote: »
    Both. It was overly moist in spite of the fact that I wrung out the grated courgettes in a cloth. And the taste was icky.

    I've since seen a Nigel Slater recipe with only 150g of courgettes (that one had 350g), I may try that one when I recover from the trauma :(

    I wonder could you try and squeeze and must moisture as possible out of the courgettes? Like you do with potatoes when making a rosti? If you could, then maybe the recipe you used might work out a lot better.

    EDIT: never mind, I see you did that! :)


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #127
    Dizzyblonde
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,108 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    Yes I did, and it wasn't wet inside - just so moist it was heavy. It didn't taste quite as bad when it had been sitting for a few hours but it just wasn't nice.
    I hate to waste ingredients :(


  • Options
    #128
    dipdip
    Closed Accounts Posts: 537 ✭✭✭dipdip


    There is a courgette loaf recipe in the cooking club.


  • Options
    #129
    hardCopy
    Registered Users Posts: 5,969 ✭✭✭hardCopy


    Potential disaster averted last night. I was making carrot and potato wedges in the oven. I didn't have much olive oil left in the bottle so poured what was left on the tray and added some olive spread, stuck it in the oven to preheat the oil and came back 5 minutes later to hear the oil spitting all over the oven, opened it up to find a cloud of smoke.

    Had to tip out the oil and make do with a few squirts of 1cal Cooking Spray. Didn't manage to get my wedges as crispy as I had hoped but at least I spotted the burning before I wasted a whole pot of parboiled carrot and potato.


  • Options
    #130
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Just remembered what was probably my first cooking disaster. :cool:

    Around my early teens, I think, I decided I wanted to learn how to make pancakes, so I accosted my mother one day and got the information I needed. :D

    Made the batter just fine. (in fairness, pancake batter = very difficult to mess up)

    The only problem was (and my mind is a bit fuzzy on the deets here), either my mother didn't tell me you only need a tiny bit of oil or butter in the pan, or she did tell and didn't stress exactly how little.

    So, I poured WAY too much oil into the pan (think the amount of oil you'd use if you were frying a few eggs) and set about frying the pancakes. I think I also didn't have the hob at a high enough heat either, which didn't help.

    Soggy, greasy pancakes, anyone? :(:P


  • Options
    #131
    Dubchild
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Dubchild


    My dog loves hot dogs :pac: one day i put them in the pot of water and i turned on the hob. It was a nice sunny day this summer, so i went up the garden to sit in the sun. I totally forgot about them, i just happen to come in a good while later and the kitchen was covered in smoke, the smell of burning hot dogs was rotten.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #132
    leahyl
    Registered Users Posts: 14,244 ✭✭✭✭leahyl


    I was a disaster in home ec in general when I was in school but one time I made an apple tart and it turned out really nice - it was only after it had come out of the oven that I realised I had forgotten the sugar.....extremely bitter apple tart mmmm....:o


  • Options
    #133
    hardCopy
    Registered Users Posts: 5,969 ✭✭✭hardCopy


    leahyl wrote: »
    I was a disaster in home ec in general when I was in school but one time I made an apple tart and it turned out really nice - it was only after it had come out of the oven that I realised I had forgotten the sugar.....extremely bitter apple tart mmmm....:o

    Someone on The Great British Bake Off this year used salt instead of sugar in one of their creations.


  • Options
    #134
    dipdip
    Closed Accounts Posts: 537 ✭✭✭dipdip


    I had a disaster today.

    I was making chicken soup for a sick friend. Without thinking, at the very last step, I threw in a cup of frozen corn. This is the world's least fussiest person but she dislikes one thing: you guessed it, corn.

    As I had no more stock or chicken left, I was forced to pick out the sweetcorn, one kernel at a time. One kernel at a time.


  • Options
    #135
    Alun
    Registered Users Posts: 21,421 ✭✭✭✭Alun


    I'd have made her pick out her own corn :D


  • Options
    #136
    dipdip
    Closed Accounts Posts: 537 ✭✭✭dipdip


    Aw, she's sick! :o


  • Options
    #137
    MissFlitworth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,057 ✭✭✭MissFlitworth


    <bites back disgusting comment about corn sorting itself out in the end>


  • Options
    #138
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    leahyl wrote: »
    I was a disaster in home ec in general when I was in school but one time I made an apple tart and it turned out really nice - it was only after it had come out of the oven that I realised I had forgotten the sugar.....extremely bitter apple tart mmmm....:o

    If that was me, I'd still eat it, taking the lid of the pie and just sprinkling on sugar. :)


  • Options
    #139
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    This is embarrassingly recent, but I experienced an epic fail while attempting to make Mellor's cola chicken wings. The recipe calls for 3 hours on a lower temp, but as I was running short of time, I thought I'd crank up the temperature *just* a notch and take it out earlier. You can see where this is going. I ended up with hard, chewy, toffee-style wings, which even the cats couldn't eat.. I r smrt


  • Options
    #140
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    April O Neill wrote: »
    Just remembered what was probably my first cooking disaster. :cool:

    Around my early teens, I think, I decided I wanted to learn how to make pancakes, so I accosted my mother one day and got the information I needed. :D

    Made the batter just fine. (in fairness, pancake batter = very difficult to mess up)

    The only problem was (and my mind is a bit fuzzy on the deets here), either my mother didn't tell me you only need a tiny bit of oil or butter in the pan, or she did tell and didn't stress exactly how little.

    So, I poured WAY too much oil into the pan (think the amount of oil you'd use if you were frying a few eggs) and set about frying the pancakes. I think I also didn't have the hob at a high enough heat either, which didn't help.

    Soggy, greasy pancakes, anyone? :(:P
    I had a housemate who did that. She asked me to show her where she was going wrong, turns out she had been putting about a 2'' depth depth of melted butter in the end of the pan.


  • Options
    #141
    Loire
    Registered Users Posts: 2,034 ✭✭✭Loire


    So I'm there last night all excited about cooking my first indian (red lentil dahl (a contender for it's own entry in this thread!). I'm cutting open the packaging of the solid coconut milk that I bought. Whilst doing this I start to think "I haven't cut myself in ages". Obviously my mind only heard the words in bold. Cue the slicing of the skin on the very tip of my finger straight off. Sounds worse than it is as only the skin was removed but it was a close shave and I sitting here today with my finger all bandaged up. DISASTER

    Just to add....thanks God for Dominos :D


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #142
    the beer revolu
    Registered Users Posts: 16,770 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    Loire wrote: »
    So I'm there last night all excited about cooking my first indian (red lentil dahl (a contender for it's own entry in this thread!). I'm cutting open the packaging of the solid coconut milk that I bought. Whilst doing this I start to think "I haven't cut myself in ages". Obviously my mind only heard the words in bold. Cue the slicing of the skin on the very tip of my finger straight off. Sounds worse than it is as only the skin was removed but it was a close shave and I sitting here today with my finger all bandaged up. DISASTER

    Just to add....thanks God for Dominos :D

    Those 'taking the finger tip off' cuts are nasty because there is no skin left to cover the cut - very raw. I have a few slightly flat finger tips from doing just that. Cut the tip off my left middle one Christmas morning chopping herbs. I went running to Mrs Beer wailing for sympathy. She was having none of it until I went back and produced the finger tip from amongst the parsley to show her!
    Bit of a nuisance having to cook Christmas dinner with the finger bandaged up!


  • Options
    #143
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    kylith wrote: »
    I had a housemate who did that. She asked me to show her where she was going wrong, turns out she had been putting about a 2'' depth depth of melted butter in the end of the pan.

    Butter would be marginally better than oil though, which is what I used. :(


  • Options
    #144
    nompere
    Registered Users Posts: 1,675 ✭✭✭nompere


    the beer revolu wrote: »
    Those 'taking the finger tip off' cuts are nasty because there is no skin left to cover the cut - very raw. I have a few slightly flat finger tips from doing just that. Cut the tip off my left middle one Christmas morning chopping herbs. I went running to Mrs Beer wailing for sympathy. She was having none of it until I went back and produced the finger tip from amongst the parsley to show her!
    Bit of a nuisance having to cook Christmas dinner with the finger bandaged up!

    Is that better or worse than grating a big pile of chocolate (for a tiramisu, as it happened) and finding, when finished, that one or two fingernails were shorter than when you started?

    I suppose it's only a disaster if you tell people at the time!


  • Options
    #145
    Loire
    Registered Users Posts: 2,034 ✭✭✭Loire


    the beer revolu wrote: »
    Those 'taking the finger tip off' cuts are nasty because there is no skin left to cover the cut - very raw. I have a few slightly flat finger tips from doing just that. Cut the tip off my left middle one Christmas morning chopping herbs. I went running to Mrs Beer wailing for sympathy. She was having none of it until I went back and produced the finger tip from amongst the parsley to show her!
    Bit of a nuisance having to cook Christmas dinner with the finger bandaged up!

    I hear ya...is it any wonder we have "man flu"? ;):D


  • Options
    #146
    brick tamland
    Registered Users Posts: 1,431 ✭✭✭brick tamland


    Everytime I try homemade Pizza it ends in disaster. Ive tried it a few times, Ive bought a stone in arnottts and still no joy

    Tonight I made the dough, left it to the side for it to prove (which it did). Threw the stone in to preheat an put semolina flour on the workboard and rolled out pizza and put on toppings. Took the stone out of the over but the couldnt get the pizza onto the fecking thing. All fell apart. Currently have a messy kitchen and a takeaway on order:mad::mad::mad::mad:


  • Options
    #147
    genuine leather
    Registered Users Posts: 370 ✭✭genuine leather


    brick tamland wrote: »
    Everytime I try homemade Pizza it ends in disaster. Ive tried it a few times, Ive bought a stone in arnottts and still no joy

    Tonight I made the dough, left it to the side for it to prove (which it did). Threw the stone in to preheat an put semolina flour on the workboard and rolled out pizza and put on toppings. Took the stone out of the over but the couldnt get the pizza onto the fecking thing. All fell apart. Currently have a messy kitchen and a takeaway on order:mad::mad::mad::mad:

    Yeah i have had a few rollover pizza piles, drive ye nuts.
    One has to be quick topping and sliding before it gets a chance to stick:mad:.
    Two ways i manage to avoid the pizza pile up, cut a circle of parchment/greaseproof paper the same size as your stone,if you dont have a peel use a baking tray upsidedown with a sprinkle of semolina,place paper and prep your pizza on top and it will slide easily onto your stone.

    Another method that works well,oven on at 225 deg C, prep your base on top of a circle of parchment, brush lightly with some olive oil if you like and use a fork to poke holes(docking) all over the base to stop it rising in the middle, slide into the oven and cook for only about 2-3 mins. Take out and let it cool for a few mins, i like to brush the edge again with some garlic and herb oil, top away and cook for about 6-7 mins light toppings,8-12 mins lots of toppings.I prefer lots of toppings:D. I use one of those pizza trays with the holes for the second bake without the parchment. Photo is of 20 odd pre baked base for my sons birthday party, it was so handy and really took the pressure off with so many to cook on the day, they are also great to freeze.
    Hope this helps. GL


  • Options
    #148
    FouxDaFaFa
    Registered Users Posts: 6,850 ✭✭✭FouxDaFaFa


    I just made the most disgusting seitan in the history of mankind.

    It somehow manages to be rubbery AND spongy at the same time. It's like flubber.


  • Options
    #149
    Mrs Fox
    Registered Users Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭Mrs Fox


    FouxDaFaFa wrote: »
    I just made the most disgusting seitan in the history of mankind.

    It somehow manages to be rubbery AND spongy at the same time. It's like flubber.

    I actually had to google up seitan.


  • Options
    #150
    MissFlitworth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,057 ✭✭✭MissFlitworth


    The most disgusting thing in the history of kitchen disasters ever just happened to me. I'm in 2 minds about saying it here but I need to tell someone and if I tell my friends they'll never eat in my house again.

    Have some squash in the oven roasting, wanted to toast some almonds too for my big fat healthy salad later. Spotted a terracotta tapas dish, threw them in there and then into the oven. Opened the door about 10 minutes later and there was a distinct smell of 'cat's water'. A very, very distinct smell indeed. So said to my partner, all sultry like, "Babe, did the cat p1ss in here somewhere?!". He couldn't get the smell, insisted it was 'just the nuts'. I am known for imagining smells coming from places so decided was just imagining it, ate an almond, and popped it back into the oven.

    Then.

    Sitting on the couch, remembering the day I came back from Cork with the dishes (really good value in the English market compared to Dublin), and it was the day that the cat hit cat maturity. And I turned around that evening and he was sitting in my handbag having a wee. Into the dishes. Which I thought I had thrown away but clearly in the panic of that day (it only lasted one day but he went everywhere) I washed and put back with my other dishes.

    I have just eaten a cats piss almond.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #151
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Now there's an idea for I'm a Celebrity. :pac:


Advertisement