Ladies your opinions on men using brothels and prostitutes

bluewolf wrote: »

I wouldn't like my mother or hypothetical sister cleaning toilets or working in mcd so I think both of those should be banned too

Yeah, but a person working as a cleaner has legal rights and protections, whereas a prostitute is basically on her own as far as any crimes committed against her. If she gets raped she's going to be afraid to go to the police in case she's the one who ends up being arrested. The chances of her complaint being taken seriously are also pretty low.

I don't have a problem with sex work in theory. If you choose to do it of your own free will then I've no right to judge you. But in practice it's often very problematic and dangerous. There are people who think that because they're paying, they don't have to treat a sex worker like a human being at all, and there so many scumbags who profit off sex work like pimps and traffickers who are just the lowest of the low IMO. It's often the last resort of someone desperate for money as opposed to a genuine choice.

If you go somewhere like that bunny ranch place in America where the business is run legally and safely, that's one thing, but if you go to a random prostitute or brothel where the workers have been trafficked or otherwise forced into it then yeah, you're basically a rapist.

Addle wrote: »

Have you a reference to back up those claims?

I'm interested in crime and criminology and organized crime and I have read quite a bit about what goes on.

Pimps have a formula for how they recruit women - it works best with runaways and troubled girls from broken homes but some accomplished pimps can recruit well educated women with professional jobs, nice homes, nice families etc etc. and turn them into prostitutes within days. It's a kind of brainwashing, a bit like a frog being put in a pot of water, the heat turned up slowly and before they know it they are boiled to death. Introduce a woman to heroin, meth etc and they have their hooks into them and before they know where they are they are servicing johns.

They use a combination of charm to suck them in, they can even get them to fall in love with them, get them in debt or hooked on heroin and then they can turn on the violence and make them work. They feel a mixture of fear, obligation and attachment to their pimp even though they know they are part of a stable pf girls who are all under the control of a violent man. The pimp is simply doing his job and kicking money upstairs to mobsters who give him protection on the street.

This article here explains the basics of how these creep work:

http://alexiskennedy0.tripod.com/lab/id21.html

claypigeon777 wrote: »

Most prostitutes are the victims of years of child sexual abuse, are drug or alcohol dependent or have been forced into sex slavery by criminals for a combination of all three. Prostitution is therefore rape and sexual exploitation of women.
Any man who uses a prostitute is a rapist and a scumbag.
Consider the life of a prostitute who is being forced to have sex with dozens of men day after day.
How about if it was your sister, daughter, friend etc etc?
Many of these prostitutes are kept in line through fear and violence and many of them are murdered by pimps or by men who feel they have entitlement to have sex.
That is what prostitution is really about.
Men who feel they have an entitlement to defile women.
The hypocrisy involved is also revolting.
Women are seen as "whores" and "dirty" while men are seen as legends for how many women they can have sex with.
I am a man and I would sooner be celibate than use a prostitute like a piece of meat.

Now hold on a second here before we get carried away....

I'm assuming that you're talking about street prostitutes? There is a huge difference between a street prostitute and sex workers in general. I think more clarification should be given in your posts as it seems to be generalising a lot.

And yes, from what I have read and seen, street prostitutes often do have awful lives. Trafficked women as well.

claypigeon777 wrote: »

Street prostitutes, brothel prostitutes etc it makes no difference really.

The overwhelming majority of them are women who have drug and alcohol dependency, are controlled by violent pimps and are forced into the sex trade.

It is utterly naive to think that these women are involved willingly and can leave whenever the want. They are slaves and often they are threatened with physical violence or their families are.

To a woman who is expected to service dozens of men a day it doesn't matter if they are doing it in the back of a car or up against some wall in a p*ss smelling alley used by junkies or between satin sheets in some posh penthouse.

It is all sordid and demeaning and soul destroying.

Do you have any solid evidence to back up those claims? There are lots of women who do it by choice and live reasonably good lives through the money they make. The word prostitute is generally used to mean a street worker, while legit sex workers are usually classed as escorts.

Most of what you're writing is your own personal opinion. You can hardly speak on behalf of all sex workers now, can you? Isn't that a little bit patronising? Most rationally minded people don't need to be told how bad it must be for street prostitutes and/or trafficked women, but not every single sex worker is in the same position.

It's still unclear how many trafficked or forced women there are in certain countries. In some cases it's overblown to suit an agenda. Answer me this question though, do you have the right to dictate to a woman who chooses to become an escort? Can you understand how patronising it must be for some of these women to be told by moral pulpit preachers that they are only in the business because they must be damaged?

doug_the_head wrote: »

hi there

while I think paying for sex is pretty pathetic , what is a guy who is ugly or completely lacking in sex appeal supposed to do , remain monk like ?

genuine question

Well the first thing he should do IMO is keep in mind that no matter how much he thinks he needs sex, it doesn't excuse exploiting someone else, so he should avoid any situation where it's possible the prostitute has been trafficked or is not doing it of her own free will.

I mean some people literally cannot get sex unless they pay for it, but I don't think that's all down to looks. Like how ugly are we talking here? Because unless he's the freaking elephant man there's probably someone out there he might click with if he tried. I see ugly men all over the place who are married or in LTRs. Lots of things can attract you to someone, being classically good looking helps but it's not the be all and end all.

MagicMarker wrote: »

If you're in a long term monogamous relationship and know you and your partner were clean prior to starting the relationship then there's no need to get regular checkups.

I bet those golfers' wives think they're in monogamous relationships.

SoupMonster wrote: »

It seems that the only issue raised in the thread is the possibility of the man bringing back an STD. This is actually unlikely if condoms are used, prossies tend to try to keep themselves safe.

I'm surprised that women are so accepting of "boys will be boys". I thought there would be more indignation and condemnation. I would have thought the more fundamental issues of
- prostitution as infidelity
- men (ab)using women as a form of male bonding
- the possibility that he is shagging a slave
would be more important than STDs. I'd be really interested in seeing more female perspectives on these.

Have you read the thread? Cause we pretty much covered the whole "it's cheating" thing in the first page. It's pretty obvious that having sex with someone else is infidelity, do you really need 375 posters to post "yeah that's cheating"?

SoupMonster wrote: »

I'll second that. Any woman whose partner has been to Holland, Spain, Germany, Czech, UAE, Brazil, anywhere in east Asia, almost any country, might want to quiz their partner on this. In those countries where prostitution visibility and accessibility is very high, the chance that your partner bought sex is quite high, IMO.

A barman friend in Spain reckons that 50% of any male group will visit the brothel up the road from his bar, once they find out about it. He always tells them when he wants to close, it clears the bar.

It seems that the only issue raised in the thread is the possibility of the man bringing back an STD. This is actually unlikely if condoms are used, prossies tend to try to keep themselves safe.

I'm surprised that women are so accepting of "boys will be boys". I thought there would be more indignation and condemnation. I would have thought the more fundamental issues of
- prostitution as infidelity
- men (ab)using women as a form of male bonding
- the possibility that he is shagging a slave
would be more important than STDs. I'd be really interested in seeing more female perspectives on these.

Why do you assume they are using female prostitutes? I dont see it as an issue of male bonding either, it is something enjoyable some people do on holidays.